Bully-Targets: Targets Who Fight Back with Violence

Bullies may indeed beat the target into submission, but that submission is only temporary. Worse, bullying, beatings, and punishing the target only does one of two things:

It re-enforces the target’s belief that he is vulnerable and that others are hostile toward him- which makes the target that much more likely to defy the bullies to assert his right to exist and to fight back.

Or…

The target may attack a weaker and more accessible adversary.

These targets feel vulnerable (and sadly, they are) and they become hypersensitive to confrontations like disparagement or domination. Violent targets come to see other people’s actions and words as affronts. These targets think nobody can be trusted. They also view their entire lives as a battle.

Bully-Victims, or bully-targets are bullied but also bully others they perceive to be weaker. In other words, they are bullies who get bullied by other bullies.

Many bully-targets also suffer severe abuse at home and have a history of demanding attitudes, disobedience, disruptive behavior, and rebellion. With the exception of being severely abused at home, this was me years ago. I felt safe at home but once I left the house, I felt like an endangered species.

PTSD

As implied earlier, many other bully-targets view their lives as a battlefield because they are abused at home and at school, or work. The abuse they suffer is never-ending and something they can never get a respite from. Therefore, their response is to retaliate and rebel against a world they feel is against them.

They are often severely punished at home for the most minor of infractions- being too loud, being too rambunctious- basically, for simply being a kid!

Many bully-targets have parents who always seem irritated and adults in their families who over-criticize them, threaten them, slap them around, and beat them. One boy who was a bully-target opened up about having a father who would double up his fist in his face and threaten to “knock him through the wall.”

It’s because of things like this that these kids are angry and lash out so easily. The abuse and bullying they suffer does not force them to comply, it only further enrages them.

These kids feel mistreated, misunderstood, and tossed away. They feel that everyone is against them and why not? The abuse they suffer both in and outside the home seems to confirm it!

This is why many targets who fight back are mistaken for bullies. They are perceived by others to be bullying others when, in fact, they are defending themselves.

These kids have the most difficult time with people and with life in general and their futures are at stake. These are the kids who need the most help. And it’s up to us to reach out and help them.

If you know someone who is a target of bullying and falls into this category, I cannot stress enough the importance of being there for them and getting them help. Please don’t give up on them because they aren’t hopeless and there’s still time to help them turn their lives around. By reaching out to these kids, you will be saving their future and their lives!

Bullies Who Are Only Angry, Bitter People

In many cases, I’ve found that bitterness is the main ingredient of bullying behavior. It is the reason why bullies desire to make someone else suffer. Because people mistreated them in the past, they want to see someone else get abused and will go out of their way to make that happen.

Understand that it makes the bitter bully feel better to see someone else suffer as they have. These people will look for slights and often find them when none are there.

These bullies are also vengeful, spiteful, and look for ways to retaliate against those they feel have mistreated or ignored them. They have pinned up rage toward their targets and will have feelings of loathing toward them.

They have anger, disappointment, sadness, and resentment all balled into a mish-mash of toxic goo!

bring it

These people are continually looking for a fight and thrive on drama. If they can find neither one, they’ll create it.

They’ll make an offhand remark to put another person on defense or do something to annoy someone to bait them into an altercation. Then when it’s over with, they feel better.

To these kinds of people, life has done them wrong- cheated them in some way. And they feel they have a right to spew their vitriol.

I want you to understand that bullies aren’t happy people. They can’t be!

And they can’t be happy for others’ successes or good fortune. Any success of another is only proof to them that they haven’t been given a fair hand. That’s the reason these kinds of bullies will often bully those who have positive things going in their lives.

They go after these victims to “tear them down,” “put them in their place” and keep them there.

bully

The only way you can handle a bitter person is to boot them out of your life and avoid them like the plague. Whatever you do, don’t engage!

Bitter bullies must live with emotions they cannot handle, which is why they must have a target. They need an easy mark to unload all their negative feelings on so that they can feel better in knowing that they’re not the only one who feels bad.

Making others feel rotten is gratifying for these types of bullies. Misery loves company. How they feel better is to make you feel worse! But would they admit that? Never! Because it would make them look inferior and defeated.

Many bullies have themselves been emotionally injured by other bullies. However, it’s no excuse for the way they act. You can feel sorry for them, yes. But you don’t have to tolerate the way they treat you.

Disengage, then get away with your self-esteem intact!

You don’t deserve to have these bloodsuckers in your life! The sooner you get far away from these types, the better!

HATERS! Ya Gotta Admit- Only the Best Have Them!

bullies haters hate ignore the

Bullies? Haters? Whatever you want to call them, they’re the same. As the old saying goes, “Haters Gonna hate.” And they do, with great intensity.

But why?

Here are your answers:

Anyone who does good for themselves is bound to have a pack of haters sniffing and yapping at their heels. There’s a reason that people have made the word itself an acronym.

1. H- Having
2. A- Anger
3. T- Toward
4. E- Everyone
5. R- Reaching
6. S- Success

bullies jealous envy envious

Haters hate because of their own insecurities. They’re the type of people who resent everyone who dares to do better than them. And they’re everywhere! You see them at school, in the workplace, in the neighborhood, and even in the family!

Haters are people who go out of their way to make you feel bad about yourself. They badmouth you, discourage you, give scathing reviews, undermine your achievements, and sabotage you to slow down or stop your progress.

Here are things haters will say when they find out you’ve succeeded at something:

1. “Oh, but you’ll never do that.”
2. “Oh, but you can’t.”
3. “She recorded a CD? Well, she didn’t do much! Anybody can do that!”
4. “She’s not so hot!”
5. “She thinks she’s so (pretty, so much smarter than everyone else, etc.).

bullies haters I have so much more for you to be mad at

When your hater sees you happy and doing good for yourself, it makes her feel worthless and she’ll stop at nothing to block any success you aim for. Understand that these people may or may not want the success for themselves, the power (and pleasure) is in the taking of yours.

Haters hate because they feel inadequate. Therefore, they must make you feel inadequate. Do you see where this is going?

Haters will come at you with a barrage of insults and name-calling. They may talk trash behind your back and try to kill your relationships. And you don’t necessarily have to be successful to have haters.

In fact, you might not even know why they’re hating on you. But understand that if you know you haven’t provoked them in any way, it’s a good bet that it all comes from jealousy! There’s something you have that they don’t and they don’t think they can get. Or, there’s something you’re getting to do that they can’t do.

haters gonna hate

Realize that your success highlights and reminds them of their failures. And the only thing haters can do to feel good about themselves is either insult and ridicule you, or avoid you altogether. And in doing so, they get to forget about their unfulfilled dreams.

They’re only raking you through the mud because the mere sight of you reminds them of what they could never achieve.

It only goes to show that there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s not your fault that these people are either too scared or too lazy to put in the work required to live the life they want to live.

I want you to realize that the hatred itself is an admission of your awesomeness, your worthiness, and your value. It is the confession of your accomplishments. It is also the unspoken admission of their fear, insecurity, and inferiority; and a testament to their cowardice, laziness, and lack of confidence!

female bullies bitches

Because if the haters had any confidence in themselves, you wouldn’t trigger so much hatred in them, you would only trigger motivation. You would inspire them to get off their butts and work to reach their goals and dreams.

Instead of hating you, they would look up to you and want you to mentor them!

This is why you should never allow them to make you feel bad about yourself, or guilty for your successes and for having something they don’t. Instead, you should use their hate as your motivation to achieve greater success. Hate should be used as fuel! There’s a reason why it’s often said that “Haters make you famous!”

Success produces enemies, always! Accept it. Better yet, embrace it and love it