Sadly, many targets of bullying seek approval from others, but what’s really bad is that the people they seek approval, validation, and acceptance from are mostly people who absolutely could care less about them. What’s even worse is that many of those targets seek approval from are their bullies- people who have absolutely zero respect for them. Counterproductive, no?
Even more shocking, these people are those whose opinions have absolutely no bearing on the target’s life. Yuck!
If you are a target of bullying and this applies to you, ask yourself these questions aloud:
If these people never gave a hoot about me or my life to begin with, then who are they that I should seek approval from?
Who are they that I must impress?
Who are they that I should pretend to be someone I’m not?
Who are they that I have to lie?
Who are they that I must expend so much of my effort and energy for?
Who are they that I should chase and crawl up behind?
Who are they that I should beg?
Notice those last two questions and the words “chase,” “crawl up behind,” and “beg” will immediately jump out at you and may even make you angry. And you know what? It should, because those three things are basically what you’re doing when you seek approval from bullies, abusers, or anyone who neither respects you nor gives a crap about you.
If, at any time, you must suppress parts yourself to gain validation, approval, or acceptance from another person, especially a bully who will never add value or benefit to your life, you can bet this person doesn’t deserve the honor and privilege of being in your life. They don’t even deserve to be in your presence.
Realize that when you submit to and follow the standards of others for the sake of validation and acceptance, you only lower your own standards.
Stop busting your butt to gain other people’s approval because their approval isn’t needed, and their opinions need not apply. And if anyone ever tries to impose their so-called rules and standards on you, especially if they aren’t your superior, such as a teacher or supervisor, you have not only a right but an obligation to yourself to tell that person to go crawl back under the horse-apple they wormed and wiggled their way from beneath.
Understand that you only give these creeps something they haven’t earned, don’t deserve, and have no business having- you give them your power! You give them your freedom!
You give them control over your life! The above are things they have no right to and that are yours and yours alone, and these precious commodities are those they will only exploit, use, and abuse.
But once you take them back by ceasing to care what they think, your life will only get better. Take it from me. I’m living proof.
Life begins when you stop caring about their opinions and begin living life on your terms. Try it. I guarantee that you’ll thank yourself later!
Don’t you know you deserve to be happy? I do.
With knowledge comes empowerment!