Bullies have big mouths. When they succeed in taking their targets down, you can bet that they will boast about it later.
I say this because many of my classmates were chronic boasters and braggarts. Anytime a bully beat me up physically or verbally, they would immediately boast about it to get the “street cred” and make that power-high last a little longer. They would also do it to got attention and props from others.
“I let her have it!”
“I cursed her out!”
“I threw her little ass down the stairs!”
“I body-slammed that b*tch!”
“I kicked her butt!”
“I made her nose bleed!”
“I choked her out!”
“I threw her on the floor and kicked her in the ribs! I wish I’d broke her ribs!”
“I told her off!”
Oh, yes! They were so proud of themselves and wanted the world to know how they put “a girl like her” in her place.
And anyone listening would laugh derisively and openly, and sometimes they would brag and laugh right in front of me and even some of the teachers.
‘You see? Bullies get their egos involved in the bullying of a target and they’re going to prove them wrong, by George! They’re going to humiliate them. They’re ’re going to show this person that they aren’t as good, safe, independent, strong, or brave as they think they are. They’re going to get them and they’re going to get them good and make them feel it when they do!
But here’s what I didn’t realize back then:
In their incessant boasting, my classmates were admitting that they were bullying me and without even realizing it. They were too stupid to realize that they were admitting who the real target was and who were the bullies. By letting everyone know that they had all the power, and I was powerless, they admitted their bullying behavior.
And had I realized this when it was happening, I would not have felt so crushed, and would have been able to use it to my advantage.
I would have used their brags as evidence that they really were the perpetrators and possibly stopped being abused by them. But who thinks about that at age 12, 13, or even 17?
Fortunately, I only thought of this years later, after a bullying incident at work, during which I was accosted by a vicious coworker who, as you can probably guess, bragged about it later. And after using it to my benefit by calling it out, I was amazed at the results.
The coworker ended up with a week’s suspension and the bullying came to a screeching halt. From that day forward, she avoided me and never even looked in my general direction.
I want you to know that, if you’re a target of bullying and your bullies openly brag about taking you down, that right there, folks, is a confession!
It is important that you point that out. You can say something to the tune of:
“Oh, so, you admit to bullying me? Nice! Now, I don’t have to convince anyone. You did that for me! So, thank you!”
If a teacher or supervisor is present. You can turn to them and say,
“Uh-huh! See there? Straight from the horse’s mouth. They just admitted that they attacked me. Now, who’s the instigator?”
Do this and be pleasantly amazed (and tickled pink) when you see your bullies’ faces change from smug looks of arrogance to looks of horror and humiliation, knowing they really stepped in it by opening their traps. Then you can smile devilishly as they try desperately to pull the foot out of their mouths!
Remember that loose lips sink ships and boasting can backfire. Royally!
Always point out the bullies’ confession. Use your bullies’ boasting to trap them. You’ll be surprised at just how fast you shut them down.
With knowledge comes empowerment!