All About Bully Privilege

In most cases, bullies have the benefit of followers and bystanders covering for them when they terrorize and brutalize their targets. Targets, on the other hand, get no leniency whatsoever, so, they must make extra efforts to keep their hands clean because, unlike the bullies, they can’t afford to break any rules. IF targets dare to engage in the same behaviors the bullies do, they’d quickly be fired, expelled, prosecuted, or worse, killed.

What targets are severely punished for bullies get away with. You see it all the time- in the schools, workplaces, and communities. For a target of bullying, there’s no margin for error. Targets don’t have the benefit of a cheering section. And if bullies can’t find anything to hold against the target, they’ll make something up.

Understand that bullies and their enablers don’t play by the same rules. When bullies engage in bad behavior, people are silent, and the bullies are exempt from accountability. While bullies get a pass for the worst behaviors, targets are persecuted for perceived or made up slights or normal human errors that anyone could make.

Realize that this is a clear-cut example of “bully privilege” and it’s real. It’s been around since the beginning of time.

During the Medieval Period, kings had scapegoats who were blamed for mistakes and wrongdoing- scapegoats, who were executed. If targets expect to defend themselves properly, they must stop being so shocked about it and realize that such things exist.

Targets must prepare and stop being blindsided because it will only throw them off balance and hinder their ability to think properly.

Realize that we live in a fallen world and one that isn’t just. Also, understand that nothing is impossible and that we should expect the unexpected.

Only then will you be able to come up with a strategy and protect yourself more effectively.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

The Reality of Bully Privilege

In most cases, bullies have the benefit of followers and bystanders covering for them when they terrorize and brutalize their targets. Targets, on the other hand, get no leniency whatsoever, so, they must make extra efforts to keep their hands clean because, unlike the bullies, they can’t afford to break any rules. IF targets dare to engage in the same behaviors the bullies do, they’d quickly be fired, expelled, prosecuted, or worse, killed.

What targets are severely punished for bullies get away with. You see it all the time- in the schools, workplaces, and communities. For a target of bullying, there’s no margin for error. Targets don’t have the benefit of a cheering section. And if bullies can’t find anything to hold against the target, they’ll make something up.

Understand that bullies and their enablers don’t play by the same rules. When bullies engage in bad behavior, people are silent, and the bullies are exempt from accountability. While bullies get a pass for the worst behaviors, targets are persecuted for perceived or made up slights or normal human errors that anyone could make.

Realize that this is a clear-cut example of “bully privilege” and it’s real. It’s been around since the beginning of time.

During the Medieval Period, kings had scapegoats who were blamed for mistakes and wrongdoing- scapegoats, who were executed. If targets expect to defend themselves properly, they must stop being so shocked about it and realize that such things exist.

Targets must prepare and stop being blindsided because it will only throw them off balance and hinder their ability to think properly.

Realize that we live in a fallen world and one that isn’t just. Also, understand that nothing is impossible and that we should expect the unexpected.

Only then will you be able to come up with a strategy and protect yourself more effectively.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Double Standards And Their Relation to Bullying

bullies hypocrite double standard

Bullies are the biggest hypocrites! And another unfortunate reality of bullying is that the target is held to a double-standard. The bullies, especially those in authority, will often condemn the target for statements and actions they allow others to get away with. They will also demonize the target for things that are harmless or innocent.

Also, ideas and creations, which are independent things and should stand on their own merits, are undermined or dismissed if they’re found to originate from the target. However, if the exact ideas or creations come from anyone other than the target, they’re accepted, even praised.

It’s not about the idea or creation itself. It’s about who it comes from.

The reality is that nothing- no action, statement, idea or creation ever stands on its own merit. Nothing is ever independent of the person who conceived it.

Double-standards aren’t only put in place to assign different roles to different people in different positions in a hierarchy, they have another purpose as well:

1. To elevate, angelize and benefit the people we approve of and to degrade, demonize and harm the people we disapprove of.

Understand that people hold a target of bullying to double standards for one reason only, to stress, oppress and invalidate the person.

It doesn’t matter whether or not the person deserves it. What matters is how people feel about and perceive the person.

Remember that emotions and personal feelings always- always take priority over logic. Always has and always will. And the sooner you accept it, the quicker and more effectively you will be able to find your way around it.

Here are a couple of ways you can get around a double-standard:

1. Go incognito if possible. If you write a paper or invent something, don’t use your real name in the beginning. Use a pen name or pseudonym before submitting it.

bullied victim rejected left out excluded singled out

If you have bullies around, they won’t know it was you who created it, so they will likely approve of it. Then, once it’s approved and recognized for its brilliance, everyone will want to know who the mystery person is. Once an award has been prepared and everything’s all said and done, you can reveal who you are. Think of the movie, “The Cinderella Pact.”

I’ve also heard of people doing similar things in real life.

But note that this only works in certain situations.

2. Meet strangers who don’t know and haven’t heard of you. Find and befriend strangers who don’t know of your damaged reputation. Then keep company with them. These people are least likely to judge you because there will be no history or biases. With them, you start with a clean slate. So, you can put your best foot forward and be your best you!

Reputations are hard to change, but with careful thought, inventiveness, and creativity, you can intelligently work your way around your circumstances.

All About Bullying and School Politics

bullied victim hated demonized put down dehumanized

When there’s a culture of bullying at school, everything is all about appearances. And it isn’t about what’s being done; it’s about who’s doing it.

Sadly, people often hold victims of bullying to a double-standard. If someone makes a statement, it’s never about the comment itself, but who it came from. Unfortunately, politics, whether it be on a national, local, school, or office level, is rife with double-standards.

Here are a few scenarios for examples:

1. The student body and people in the community find out that a particular girl is in a monogamous romantic relationship and that she and her boyfriend are not only dating; they have sex every weekend.

If she’s a target of bullying, she’s a “whore” or “slut.” And her boyfriend must be with her for the sole purpose of getting in her pants. It’s only a matter of time until he gets tired of her and dumps her for something better. And everyone uses her lack of celibacy as a means to persecute her.

bullied victim demonized horns effect

On the other hand, what if she’s not a target of bullying (And she doesn’t have to be one of the popular crowd, she can be just an average Jane who blends in)?

As long as she’s any girl who doesn’t get bullied- she and her boyfriend are only in love, and they’re only experimenting and exploring the sexual terrain, which is only a normal part of being a young couple in love. And everyone either cuts her some slack and either doesn’t say anything, or  congratulates her for reaching the milestone of finding love and losing her virginity.

Here are a few more examples:

2. A boy in the school is going out and getting drunk or high on the weekends.

If he’s a target of bullying, he’s a worthless drunk or druggie.

If he’s any boy who isn’t a target of bullying, however, he’s “cool,” he’s a hellraiser! He’s only doing what most teenage boys will try at some point during their adolescent years. And others dismiss it as his being one of the crazy kids from high school.

bullies double standard two faced hypocrite

3. It’s discovered that a girl at school is pregnant.

If she’s a bullied girl, she’s a cheap little slut, and it’s no surprise she’s “knocked up.” People shun her like Hester Prynne in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “The Scarlet Letter.” Everyone judges her harshly and has the attitudes that she and her baby will only live on welfare and leach from society while the non-bullied kids will move on to successful careers.

And that they will be stuck paying taxes, which will support this sorry excuse for a human being and her little spawn.

But if she’s any girl who isn’t a target of bullying, then she’s just a good girl who made a bad mistake. And everyone reaches out to her and extends compassion.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

Realize that school, office, any kind of politics and double-standards are firmly put in place to keep a select few down and oppressed.

positive thumbing your nose

In a nutshell, if you aren’t a target of bullying, there’s margin for error and you’re allowed to explore many worlds. You’re allowed to make mistakes. You’re allowed to be a human being.

But if you’re a target of bullying, you’re not afforded any of it. You’re not allowed to be yourself. You’re not allowed to be human because in the minds of others, you aren’t human at all. In the minds of the student body, you aren’t even allowed to be- to exist.

But no matter how they judge you, do it anyway.

1. Allow yourself to make mistakes because that’s how you learn.

2. Be yourself because that’s how you weed out the people who aren’t supposed to be in your life and attract into your world the people who belong there.

3. Be human because being human is what exposes the people who are wrong for you and shows you the people who are right for you.

4. And don’t only exist, but live! Be alive! Live life to the fullest!

5. And know that happiness is a choice! And that you do have the power to choose.