Knowing the Truth About a Bully

Sadly, it seems that the more fake a person is, the more others adore them, and the more real a person is, the more people hate them. The reason for this is because “truth” scares people. Truth is uncomfortable, even painful.

As the old quote goes, “It’s much easier to fool people than to convince them that they’ve been fooled.”

Bullies have a way of using seductive charm and drawing others to them. They have a knack for making people like, even love them. These people are so successful at making connections with people. Bullies will agree with everyone on anything, tell others what they want to hear. They say all the right things at the right times. They’re the best actors in the business and sometimes it’s hard to see the snake behind the charm.

This is how workplace bullies get promoted in the workplace. It’s how school bullies become the teacher’s pets and the golden boys and girls of the school. It’s how bullies are liked and yes, even loved by unsuspecting others.

Bullies Thrive on Deception

It’s frustrating, isn’t it? When you know a person is fake, yet others think they’re the best thing since sliced bread? The person is evil, manipulative, and lies without a conscience, yet nobody knows it but you. Why? Because you’re the only one who sees that side of them.

You know the real person behind the façade of charisma, smiles, and waves. Plain as day, you watch them take pleasure in hurting others and ruining lives. At the same time, these bullies have a talent for sucking everyone else in by their fakery.

Arrogant young Caucasian man with three female admirers

For example, A high school bully boy beats up a smaller kid on the ball field. As a result, all the girls who watch from the bleachers love him for it. Or, maybe the bully gropes a poor girl in the hallways who clearly does not want them touching her. Sadly, the female groupies and admirers who hang with them only laugh and signal approval. After all, the girl the creep groped is “a slut who was asking for it.” Right?

You can almost see what they’re thinking as you watch their eyes and their body language.

“Wow! What a man!”

Bullies Can’t Survive Without Putting Someone Else Down

Take the workplace bully, for instance. She seems so in control, so smart, and so attractive when she’s berating another employee for a minor mistake. Or, maybe she’s attacking another, more talented person to undermine their abilities.

These are the type of people who are blind to their own selfishness. They tell lie after lie and ruin life after life.

They lack consideration for others and aren’t responsible for their own screw-ups. However, you can be sure that they have no qualms about pointing out the mistakes and imperfections of others. Additionally, they have no problem deflecting their issues onto someone else.

What’s even more baffling is that, you’d think that once this creep dumps on enough people, others would begin to see through the smokescreens. However!

Au contraire! Some of them just keep going back after being dumped on only to have the bully rub it in. It’s enough to make you sick.

The Idiocy of The Bully’s Followers

You may try to warn others about the real person behind the façade. Also, you may defend yourself when they attack you but you’re shocked when others take their word and their side over yours.

Moreover, you hear people talk- saying what a fine, upstanding person the bully is and it’s clear they don’t know the person you and only few others know. Therefore, it’s hard to bite your tongue when you hear it.

The bully can be so horribly evil that if he stood side by side with the devil himself, you’d have a hard time distinguishing between the two. Furthermore, this person puts on the pathetic but convincing act of being bullied when they’re the ones doing the bullying.

It’s amazing how easily the people around you are fooled!

But realize that not only the bully, but the weak and gullible followers who enable the bully, need professional help.

The People Who Surround the Bully are Followers, Nothing More.

Understand that these bullies are toxic souls and wastes of space. They’re the people who cannot keep a relationship- they’re the ones who are always in and out of relationships, whether friendships or romances. Eventually, these bullies get a little too prideful, a little to bold…then they get stupid!

They screw up somehow, the mask falls off, and finally! People see their true colors!

I’ve seen this happen and I won’t lie to you. It gave me a since of justice and I was ecstatic when I watched them fall. Karma is a booger!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

You Don’t Lose Friends, You Lose Frauds

When you’re a target of relentless bullying, losing so-called friends becomes the norm. Sadly, this is the reality for many who fall into this category.

Most targets of bullying suffer deprivation of human friendship and therefore, they have no sense of belonging. We humans are hardwired for socialization and connection. When bullies meticulously strip those things away, it can be devastating. After they’ve suffered this deprivation for so long, targets can become desperate for even the tiniest crumb of affection.

Neediness always invites abuse.

In life, there will be people who come into your life not to help you but to harm you. Not to love you but to leave you.

Understand that when bullies target you, they beat you down,  and render you sad, lonely, and worst of all, desperate! Add all this together and you have a stinking, toxic cocktail of vulnerable.

Realize that evil always attaches itself to those whom bullies have weakened and made most vulnerable. People smell desperation from a mile away and the target will repel those who are emotionally healthy and attract only the lowlifes whose only intentions are to use and abuse.

Predatory users love to catch you when you’re most vulnerable. When you are rendered powerless, you will draw in fake friends. They’ll be those whose only intentions are to use you until they get all they can out of you. Many will act as friends to hurt and humiliate you.

These people may use you for money or material things or they may simply use you for social benefits. Also, they may use you for the psychological payoff of taking domination of you. Whatever it is, know that they aren’t here for your benefit, they’re here for theirs.

So, when do these frauds show their true colors?

Many targets of bullying are shocked and dismayed when the monster finally shows its face. The target may say something totally innocent, but something the fake friends doesn’t like. Suddenly, the mask falls off and the poor target finds out the hard way that this person really isn’t a friend at all. The fake friend then turns their back and becomes an enemy. They may even bully the target like everyone else.

Here’s when they show their true colors:

1. When you stand up for yourself.

2. When you’re not afraid to be yourself.

3. When you speak your truth and stand on it.

4. When you let your opinions, beliefs, and convictions be known.

5. When you call them or someone they like out on their bullshit.

How do you recognize a true friend?

A true friend may not necessarily agree with you, but they’ll always respect your opinion. They will always accept that you’re a different person with your own set of values. And they’ll never turn their back on you or get hateful toward you for those differences.

True friends will allow and even encourage you to be yourself, speak your truth, and stand behind it. They wouldn’t want you to be fake for the sake of pleasing others.

Understand that if at any time, a person who claims to be your friend doesn’t allow you to be yourself. Or if that person doesn’t allow you to speak your mind, or show your emotions, that person is not a friend. Therefore, you should re-evaluate that friendship and give this person the old heave ho.

Know that you deserve better friends than them. That’s why it’s so important that you love yourself enough to know when it’s time to let go and move on. Because some people just aren’t worth your time. Always remember, you don’t lose friends, you lose frauds.

With knowledge comes empowerment!