Bullies Aren’t the People Who Are Most Hurtful to Their Target. So, Who Are the People Who Are Most Hurtful? (Part 2)

(Continued from Part 1…)

When you’re a target of bullying in school or at work, you can’t afford to put all your trust in anyone, not even those who seem to be your friends. I’m not suggesting you be completely paranoid, only nonchalant. Because in a toxic area, you will have a few nosy wolves in sheep’s clothing around you, who will try to get close to you for no other reason than to probe for intimate details about you and your life.

They will also study you like a lab-rat to see how you react to certain things and find out your opinions, especially opinions of your bullies and other people you go to school or work with. Why? So they can take the juicy deets and report back to your bullies with them.

Here are ways that you can pick up on your classmates or coworkers’ hidden attitudes and intentions.

1. Always observe the people around you – without looking like you’re watching, of course. Use your peripheral vision to scan them and your environment, and you’ll quickly pick up on the moods and sense the elephant in the room (if there is one).

2. Look for body language that isn’t congruent with words and context – Actions speak louder than words. If their body language isn’t congruent with words, background, or the situation and shows even a hint of hostility and discomfort when they’re around you, then “Houston, we have a problem.”

back-stabbing colleagues threatening an employee with scissors and knife

3. Watch for micro flashes – If you’re not careful, you’re likely to miss those tiny, split-second micro flashes of contempt people give without realizing it or when they think you aren’t aware of it. There are good actors; don’t get me wrong, but there are certain things the body gives away involuntarily, and if you look for it, you’ll see it.

When you’re around fake friends, sometimes, as you turn your back, you’ll see a tiny micro flash of contempt on their faces out of the corner of your eye. Then, you’ll get that nagging feeling in the pit of your gut. Don’t ignore that because you don’t only imagine things! Eighty-six, these creeps fast!

4. Notice the person’s feet – You can tell a lot by the feet! If the person is talking to you, facing you, but their feet are pointing away from you, that means they aren’t as “with you” as you think. Put some distance between you and that person.

5. Watch for crossed arms while talking to the person – If you’re having a conversation with the person and they cross their arms over their chest, that’s a dead giveaway! They’re exhibiting closed body language, and they’re closing themselves off to anything you have to say. It’s time to make an excuse to end the tete-a-tete and walk away. You don’t want this person around you.

6. Looking at you without blinking – if they do this, it’s a sure sign of contempt, or they’re trying to intimidate you. Either way, this person is not the person you want to be around.

7. Other signs to look for – a furrowed brow, one corner of the lip slightly raised, an icy, piercing stare, smiling at you with their mouth but not the eyes (no crinkles around the eyes). Any of these signs, you might want to distance yourself.

8. If they look at you, then look at each other when you walk away – again, you want nothing to do with these people.

9. Watch what you share– Very important! Don’t tell anyone anything they don’t need to know. Not even to those who seem friendly Don’t reveal information that’s better off private. Don’t badmouth anybody, especially the bullies, to anyone. They may smile in your face, but you can be sure they’ll report back to the bullies with anything you say and try to fan the flames.

10. Watch for eavesdroppers – If you have an innocent conversation with someone in the hall, be on the lookout for eavesdroppers. Don’t talk near corners or open doors. Many times people will listen in on your discussion, then report back to the bullies with it. Pay attention to people who walk by.

And if you see other people standing around while you’re speaking and those people aren’t a part of the conversation, take the discussion to a place more private.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Bullies Aren’t the People Who Are Most Hurtful to Their Target. So, Who Are the People Most Hurtful?

It wasn’t the attacks from the bullies themselves. The bullies were the people from whom I’d come to expect that kind of behavior. From them, any vitriol, any vile and disgusting words and actions came as no surprise to me!

What hurt more than anything was the betrayal– when those I thought were my friends would so quickly and without question believe the lies and rumors that my bullies had spread. It was akin to being kicked in the stomach. Also, these so-called friends in school never had my back. Some even had the power to stop the bullying and protect me but refused, only throwing me under the bus.

Friends are supposed to be the people who believe the best of you. They are supposed to have your back any time someone attacks you. They’ll speak on your behalf when another person so much as badmouths you behind your back but in front of them, and they’ll stick up for you even when you’re not around to see them do it. Real friends are with you no matter what, especially when the chips are down. They will go to hell and back for you.

But sadly, during school, the people I thought I could trust did the opposite; they’d either go along with or believe the lies- and without bothering to ask me first!

My fake friends often sold me out- delivered me up to my bullies- with my head on a plate.

Rejection and mistreatment from a bully are easier to deal with because, from a bully, you expect nothing more. It’s much harder to take when it comes from someone you think is a friend and think highly of. When I look back now, I realize that I didn’t have friends in school until I was in the twelfth grade.

Before senior year, I only kept these so-called pals around and put up with them because they were the only options I had. It was pathetic.

The betrayals I suffered years ago is why I’m so selective of who I let in my life today. It’s also why I prefer to keep my circle small. I’d rather have only a handful of real friends than a million half-baked, fake ones. But we don’t value ourselves like we should when we’re teenagers and haven’t been in the world very long.

Too many people are overly concerned with having a large number of friends but don’t realize that real friends- people who have your back, who have your best at heart and will go to bat for you under the worst conditions- are a rare commodity and don’t come around every day.

Finding genuine friends is like opening a thousand empty oysters and finding only five or six pearls. These are the friends who are worth more than gold! And if you have them, you’d better appreciate them for all that they are!

When I meet a new person for the first time, I no longer wonder whether they’ll like me; I now wonder if I’m going to like them. I choose who I let in and who I give the boot, and if I stop having anything to do with someone, you can bet they betrayed me somehow, and I consider betrayal a deadly sin that will get someone dismissed very quickly.

I know what I want in a friend, and I won’t settle for anything less because anything less than desired is unacceptable. Loyalty is a virtue I look for, and if the person isn’t loyal, they aren’t worthy!

I want you to understand that if you have friends who are so quick to believe the lies your bullies tell them that they get angry with you and refuse to speak to you, guess what? These people are not your friends. They never were! Why else would they take your bullies’ word over yours and be so quick to turn against you?

Maybe those you thought were your friends only tolerated you because they felt sorry for you. And why would you settle for someone’s pity? Or, maybe your so-called friends didn’t have many options themselves, and you were only a second choice friend, or worse! The last-resort-friend! Ewww! Who wants that!

If you have friends who don’t stand with you and fade into the woodwork when your bullies attack you, they’re not worth your time or energy. Friends like that don’t deserve the privilege of being a part of your life. You’re better off without them.

You need to ditch these losers and find better friends, even if it means you have to be by yourself for a while. Hey, I know it sucks. Nobody wants to be alone. However, you must learn to be your own best friend before anyone else can.

Sometimes you must clean out all the trash to make room for the good stuff- the people who deserve to be in your life.

Continued in Part 2…

1 Reason Having Enemies Is Better Than Having Frenemies

Targets often pick “friends” who only tolerate them or those who wish them ill will because they’re often lonely and desperate. For so long, they have been wrongly alienated from others due to rumors and lies that bullies have spread about them to keep them from making friends.

Because the target is so hungry for a connection…any connection, he/she will befriend anyone…and I mean anyone! They are not selective with who they call “friend” and end up latching on to people who are not even worth knowing…predators, who only take advantage.

Also, young victims often assume that to be “cool,” they have to have a big circle of friends. This is not true.

With that being said, I want you to know that if you are a victim of bullying, you do not need a whole slew of people in your life to be happy nor to feel like or be a whole person. You only need your family and a few true friends. It’s safer this way. Wouldn’t you much rather have just a handful of true friends than to have an abundance of frenemies? I know I would.

In fact, you should prefer to have enemies over ‘frenemies’. Here’s why:

1. With an enemy, you know exactly where they stand without having to do any guesswork. However, you will always be the last to know with frenemies after being played for a sucker.

In other words, enemies won’t hide their contempt for you. Frenemies, on the other hand, will always hide their contempt for you behind the facade of friendship. And they do this to keep you close so they can find out your deepest secrets, your dreams, your goals, and your not-so-attractive characteristics.

And once they know all these intimate details about you, they will then weaponize it and use it against you.

If at any time you wonder about a person…if your intuition is telling you that something is “off,” put some distance between yourself and that individual and do it fast! Instinct is trying to warn you.

If your so-called friends are only tolerating you, stabbing you in the back, or sabotaging you in any way, it’s time to eighty-six of these leaches to your self-esteem. And the sooner you do, the better!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

10 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship

Many targets of bullying are bullied and excluded so severely and for so long that they become desperate for any crumb of friendship. Notice I say, any crumb of friendship. In fact, they’ll latch on to anything that even looks like friendship. But looks can be deceiving.

Targets of bullying can very easily get in with the wrong people- people who only tolerate them, people who treat them like dog crap on the bottom of their shoe and leave them feeling even worse about themselves. Fake friends often send mixed signals which will leave the target confused and this is why they often stay in toxic friendships. And targets will, sadly, hang onto these lowlifes for dear life because they feel they have no other options.

So, how do you know when you’re in a toxic friendship? Here are your answers:

1. They turn hot and cold. These types of people will be sweet as pie one day and mean as a snake the next and this becomes a pattern. Don’t let it confuse you. Realize that the person isn’t really a friend and you must drop this person and find better friends.

You must understand that you deserve better than this person. Anyone who doesn’t appreciate the value you bring to a friendship doesn’t deserve a seat at your table. It’s time to walk without looking back.

Before I go any further, I want to let you know that I understand the feeling of loneliness when you’re targeted for bullying. I understand the feeling of being friendless and it sucks…royally!

However, with friends like those, you don’t need enemies, so, technically, you’re already lonely anyway. You can do just as bad by yourself. Ditch these creeps! You might be alone for a little while but sooner or later, better friends will come along. Give yourself a chance.

2. They manipulate you into doing things you don’t want to do. A true friend would respect your decisions, even if it is the decision not to join them in doing something that could be harmful to you or another person. In fact, a true friend would never put you in harms way or allow you to do anything illegal or harm another person. So, this is your cue to ditch and switch, baby!

3. They never have your back when your bullies come for you. This is a big one and it’s a deal breaker. If you have a so-called friend who either disappears or throws you under the bus whenever you’re in trouble or in danger, that’s a surefire sign that this coward isn’t your friend.

Get rid of this wimp, fast! Do you really want to be friends with some spineless wuss-bag who disappears and can’t be found when the fit hits the shan? I would hope not!

4. They give you shabby treatment. And when they do, they don’t seem to care how they hurt you. Again, you deserve better. This should be a no-brainer. Show them the door…fast!

5. They’re constantly getting offended or mad at you and you don’t know what you did wrong. If you are constantly having to apologize to for things you don’t know you did wrong, or aren’t guilty of just to keep the peace. Then it’s time to give this person their walking papers.

Again, I understand that nobody wants to be alone. We’re human beings. Therefore, we’re all wired for human connection, togetherness, and belonging.

However, you can be just as lonely around a group of friends who don’t value you. So, if you’re going to be lonely anyway, at least have a darn good reason for it.

6. The friend seems possessive of you and wants to keep you all to herself. This happens mostly with female friendships. She will get angry if she sees you talking to another friend of yours, or worse, treat the other friend like a fifth wheel because she feels threatened by your friendship with the other girl.

If you have a friend like this, chances are that she will smother you with wanting to hang around…all the time. This isn’t good either. The last thing you want is a clingy friend because you have a life and she needs to get one.

You have two choices. You can either tell her (and tell her with gently and with kindness) that you have other priorities too. If that doesn’t work, it’s time to pick a new friend who is attached to you like static cling.

Or…maybe it’s less obvious.

7. Your so-called friend discourages you when you tell him what your plans for the future are. You tell your frenemy that you’re planning to cut a CD, or write a book and publish it. And he shoots you off your saddle by telling you in the most caring and concerned tone,

“I want to warn you before you get your hopes up because the last thing I want is to see you disappointed. Most singers and writers never get anywhere with their music and books. It’s hard to make it in that industry today.”

Although that may be true- it’s very difficult to make it in both the music and publishing industries, your friend should at least encourage you and be proud of you for having the guts to try. Because, who knows? You may be one of the lucky few who do make it. However, if you don’t even try, you won’t even have a chance of succeeding.

8. They ridicule you for having a goal or dream. You dream of one day becoming an actor and your friend(s) make fun of you for having that dream and tell you that you’ll only crash and burn. Naturally, they make you feel lousy when they do this. You deserve friends who encourage you to go after your goals, not those who’ll tear you down.

Any time friends discourage you like that, you have to wonder if they’re only discouraging you because they’re afraid that you just might be successful. You also must ask yourself whether they believe in you or not. Don’t be afraid to walk away.

9. They’re resentful of your successes. It sucks, yes! But a lot of so-called friends get jealous when you’re successful at something. Maybe you’ve made a great achievement or won an award and your friends only give you backhanded compliments, or trivialize your accomplishment. Again, when this happens, that’s when you know it’s time to make tracks.

10. They only come around when they need something. These people are everywhere. They come around only when they know you can give them something and disappear when you’re the one in trouble. You deserve better friends than that. Get some standards and find friends who don’t use you.

Again, If you’re having any of these problems with those who are supposed to be your friends. My loving advice is to find new friends. You owe it to yourself. Realize that real friends make us feel better about ourselves not worse. Real friends enhance your life, they don’t cause pain or humiliation.

Toxic friends only suck the life out of you and leave you feeling worthless. You deserve friends who are ride or die. You deserve friends who are there for you no matter what kind of storms you may be going through. And you deserve friends who value you and don’t want to lose you.

But first, you must value yourself. And how you value yourself is to get rid of anyone who doesn’t treat you as well as you treat them. You may be alone for a spell, but your people will find you eventually and it will be worth it in the end. I guarantee it!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Things Many Targets of Bullying Do Wrong and Why They Stay Targets

Many targets of bullying suffer such vicious bullying and for so long that they’re willing to lap up anything that even looks or sounds like approval from others. They give undue value to anyone’s opinions, even those whose opinions should never be valued.

But when a person is desperate for friends and approval, they’ll latch onto anyone who shows their teeth to them. Worse, they’re willing to kiss butt and eat doody if it means they don’t have to be alone and friendless.

They’ll chase people who don’t give a crap about them and allow people to use them for what they can get from them. They’ll overlook it when their so-called friends stab them in the back.

They’ll even put up with overt abuse. Sadly, victims hold on to people who only tolerate them, which only invites more bullying. Anytime you have to crawl behind people who don’t care about you, you’re doing yourself a huge disservice!

I want you to understand this:

If you feel you must beg anyone to be your friend

If you think you must give them your delicious dessert at lunch

If you believe you have to do someone’s homework for them, give them money or do something that you don’t want to do to win their friendship

If you have to chase someone or go out of your way to get them to see the good in you

If you put up with being abused, disrespected, and humiliated by people who are supposed to be your friends

If you have friends who never have your back, who disappear and always throw you under the bus when trouble comes for you

If you have to force conversations with these so-called friends

In a nutshell, if at any time a friendship doesn’t feel right, these people do not deserve the time of day!

I understand the feeling of deprivation when you’re a target, it’s easy to want and nudge things a little. I completely get that deep ache- that longing to have a friend. And my heart goes out to you.

But you don’t need enemies with friends like that. Ditch these losers fast! They don’t deserve the privilege of being in your life.

When you’re that hard-up for friends, it shows. Anytime you’re willing to put up with crappy treatment to keep from being by yourself, it decreases your worth as a person. Other people see it and immediately think you’re pathetic. You come off to others as clingy and needy. Even worse, the desperate vibes you put out only attracts people who want to use and abuse you, which invites even more bullying and alienation.

Neediness just plain stinks. It is off-putting and repels even the people who would otherwise be good friends. There’s an old saying, “I can do bad by myself.”

It’s a saying I’ve heard for ions and it rings so true. Wouldn’t you much rather be alone than to put up with people who only pretend to be your friends and treat you like garbage? I sure as hell would.

I promise you that if you eighty-six people who treat you less than how you deserve to be treated, your value will go up and you will feel so much better about yourself. Also, either the people you ditch will realize what they lost and come back to apologize, or they won’t.

If they do, it’s your choice whether to allow them back in but understand that you do not have to take them back because some things you can never come back from. If they don’t, it’s no loss to you.

I say this because out of about four hundred classmates at Oakley High, I can count on one hand those I could ever trust again, and that’s without using all five fingers. Other than two or three, the rest of them I could care less if I ever saw again, even if they were the last four hundred people on the face of the earth.

I forgive my classmates, yes. But I will never trust them, and I’d be a fool to have anything to do with anyone I couldn’t trust.

The point is that you must value and love yourself enough to protect yourself and command better treatment from others. If that means being alone and friendless for a while, then so be it.

You deserve people who genuinely care for you, and if you have the courage to get rid of toxic people, life will eventually reward you and bring better people into your life- people who will love, respect you and feel so blessed to know you. It happened to me and it can happen for you too!

Don’t settle for fake friends who use, abuse, and only tolerate you to keep from being alone. Find people who celebrate you. Be friends with people who value you and see the good you bring to a friendship. You’re worth it. Believe it! Believe in yourself!

4 Reasons Why Fake Friends Stick Around and 2 Ways to Weed Them Out

Everyone has fake friends- people who only pretend to like them but secretly wish them harm and bad luck. And often, these people want to be right up under us now, only to end up betraying us later.

But if they hate us so much, why do they continue to stay around?

Here are a few reasons:

1. To watch us closely. You may not realize it, but these people have a strategy and do this deliberately to achieve their own evil ends. They stick around to study your movements and patterns. They want to learn your routine so that they can better predict any reactions and what your next move is likely to be.

Understand that to learn an enemy’s patterns is to collect intel on them that can be weaponized later.

2. To win your trust. They know that if you let down your guard and trust them, the more likely you are to let them in on your problems and deepest, darkest secrets. Also, when you trust someone, you’re more likely to feel more comfortable making simple, human mistakes and showing your less than desirable emotions around them because, if the person is a friend, they’re least likely to judge you.

But! If they’re fake, you only unwittingly give them fodder and ammunition to use against you later.

3. To watch you fail. Everyone experiences failure at some point. And your fake friends want nothing more than to be around to see it when you do fail at something. They can then smile inside and get the satisfaction and gratification they’ve been looking for.

4. They want to know your desires, plans, goals, and dreams. Because if they know what they are, they know where to sabotage you and gain a sense of power over your life.

Understand that any time you’re bullied, it isn’t so much the bullies who are the most harmful to you. It’s the betrayal of those you thought were your friends. That’s what hurts the most and can be so devastating.

And what makes this so crushing is the knowing the person duped you into handing over your trust. You not only feel violated, you feel stupid for ever allowing the person into your life, to begin with.

It’s the worst feeling in the world- knowing that you were hurt partially because, willingly or not, you allowed it to happen.

So, how do you weed these fakes out before they get the chance to betray you?

Here’s how:

1. Be yourself. When you are your true, authentic self, you only naturally drive away people who don’t need to be in your life in the first place. This is a good thing because these people would only harm you later.

Better to rid yourself of them now rather than to wait until you establish a connection and get close to them. Because once you’re close to someone, you naturally give them the benefit of a doubt and it’s much harder to believe they would ever hurt you and even more difficult to have the courage to show them the nearest exit. Better to weed them out now and save yourself that heartache.

2. Voice your opinions. This is more important to do today, more than ever! Because most people nowadays tend to get abusive and bent out of shape when they find out that you don’t have the same opinions, beliefs or convictions as they do.

So, do you want people around you who don’t respect your rights to be a separate individual with an independent mind? I would hope you wouldn’t.

Understand that we should always respect the opinions of others, even though we don’t always agree with them. However, many don’t live by that virtue these days. And when people resort to ad hominem when you don’t agree with their views, they only reveal their own evil intolerance.

Realize that when you’re authentic, you force people to reveal their true natures and tell you all you need to know about them.

Throw Away Dirty Work GIF by MOODMAN - Find & Share on GIPHY

And this is how you weed out all the frauds and attract the people who truly value you and who deserve the privilege of being in your life!

Always remember that!

3 Things You Absolutely Must Do to Find Out Who Your Friends Are

Are you ready for this? Here goes: You do it by being yourself, by setting boundaries, and by speaking and standing in your truth. I’ll explain deeper.

Be Yourself. Too many people put on fake personas for friendship and approval. What they don’t realize is that most of their friends aren’t really for them, they only act like they are and can reak lots of havoc in their lives if they aren’t careful! I want you to realize that like attracts like.

When you’re fake, you only attract more like-minded people into your world- fakes, fraudsters, and imposters! But understand that when you start being yourself, these people will naturally be repelled because they won’t like it.

Being real has a way of intimidating and threatening the fake. It strikes fear in them because a person who’s for real has a chance of exposing all who are fake. Is it any wonder that fake people either stay away from or bully those who are real? It’s because realness scares them to death!

Personal boundary. Prohibiting palm, psychotherapy icon vector illustration

Set Boundaries. This is a biggie! Setting boundaries is not easy. It can be frightening sometimes, especially when someone pushes you too far and the situation calls for you to put on your bitch-face and show your booty to people. But don’t worry about what others will think of it or say about it.

Boundaries always expose the fakes. Always! When you start setting boundaries, watch how people react! You’ll be amazed at how many people get angry and upset! You will automatically see their evil sides as they immediately turn against you, trying to lay guilt trips on you or smearing you to others.

But understand that anyone who gets angry at you for having boundaries only does so because they’ve benefited all this time from you not having any. Do you think they want those benefits to stop?

Don’t be afraid to let these people go because they never were your friends and therefore don’t belong in your life. Your real friends, on the other hand, will be happy for you and will cheer you on because they will want what’s best for you and to see you happy.

Speak and Stand in Your Truth. When you begin freely speaking out about past abuse and bullying, you can bet that you’ll make a lot of people angry. You’ll make bitter enemies not only of the people who wronged you in the past but also of those who stood by and watched it happen but fail to stop it.

Even if you don’t use their names and choose not to identify them, it won’t matter. Understand that any abuse thrives on silence. Abusers and most bystanders don’t want you talking about it at all!

They are sometimes those we call friends. Abusers can’t chance being exposed and seen by others in a negative light and they’ll go to great lengths to shut you down.
But again. This is how you weed out all the fakes and expose people for who they are. Deep-six these people. Fast!

Understand that for a garden to not only grow but flourish, you must get rid of all the weeds. It’s the same with the people in our lives. If we are surrounded by users, abusers, and people who only stifle us, we have no chance of growth and advancement.

But when you remove all the junk, you make room for a better quality of people to come into your life. Do these three things, to expose and get rid of the weeds.
You’ll be surprised at how it changes your life and of the quality of friends who come into your life later!

Dandelions Look Like Flowers but Are Only Weeds

toxic people

Dandelions are beautiful across your lawn. They don’t look like weeds and you wouldn’t think they’d be bad for the other greenery around them. It’s the some with people.

Some people claim to be with you, but you never hear a peep from them until you trigger them somehow- you say something they take out of context or voice an opinion or belief they don’t agree with. Then suddenly, the floodgates fly open and their simmering rage and hate rushes forth like a raging torrent. It can be both shocking and painful. But!

Be glad because this is how you know they were never for you to begin with. Now you can weed them out before they do even further damage.

Moving On Is So Much Better Than Hanging on to Relationships that Don’t Fulfill You

Let’s face it, some things and some people aren’t worth your time and energy. Sadly, many targets of bullying bend over backwards trying to get others to like them but only accomplish the exact opposite- they only end up repelling more and more people.

Realize that, although they may be painful to detach from, certain things and people in life just aren’t worth fighting for. And these people are:

1. People who bully and abuse you

2. People who are jealous of your successes and accomplishments

 3. People who don’t reciprocate the love and care you give them- people who take and never give.

 4. People who don’t value you nor see your worth.

 5. People who are negative and drain the energy from you.

 6. People you feel like you must force conversations with.

 7. People you feel like you must force to stay in your life.

 8. People you have to try so hard to prove your worth to.

 Trust me, you have nothing to prove to these morons and they’re not worth it! And they don’t deserve the privilege of being in your life. Stop giving them things they haven’t earned- they haven’t even earned your respect, must less your friendship, time, and energy! Kick these creeps to the curb! Fast!

Realize that you can’t force people to love you. People love you because they want to, not because they feel obligated to.

Let me break it down some more:

1.If you have people in your life who make you feel that you must explain to them why you do things the way you do, get rid of them, they’re only dead weight that holds you back from the life you deserve to enjoy.

 2. If you have people who say they’re for you but only discourage you from your goals- people who always tell you that you can’t, give them the boot because, again, they’re only trying to brainwash you to hold you back for achieving your goals so that they won’t end up feeling so bad about themselves.

 3. If you have people who only pretend to be your friends but really aren’t- people who talk about you behind your back, laugh at you with other people, or make little digs to make you feel bad, tell these people to take a walk because with friends like those, you don’t need enemies!

Realize that when you move on, you cease to be controlled, manipulated, and victimized. You put these people right where they need to be, in the trash heap of life. Hey, I know that being friendless sucks, but I promise you that it won’t last long.

Hit the road concept, road – 3D rendering

Know that when you get rid of the people who don’t value you, you only increase your own value and attract better people into your life in the future.

Instead of fighting to maintain relationships with people who aren’t worth peeing on, much less fighting for, cut ties with them and move on with your life. Move on and power through the pain and loneliness.

Whatever you do, just get rid of these people and move on. You’ll feel much better about yourself when you do. I promise!

Quality over Quantity

I have only a small circle of friends and associates and I like it that way. I’d much rather only five true friends than to have a million fake ones. And the truth is that you can have millions of frenemies and fair-weather friends who don’t value you as much as you deserve to be valued and still be lonely. You are no better off than you’d be if you had no friends at all.

But you can have only one friend, two friends, three or five, true friends who genuinely love you, enjoy being around you, and have your back and never feel abandoned.

Quantity is always zero without quality.

You can own a hundred houses, but it does not mean you’re rich. If your hundred houses are all infested with termites, rats, and cockroaches; and about to fall apart, do you really have anything of value?

A hundred cars don’t make a dealership if they’re all old beaters that don’t run. No. What you have is a junkyard.

The same goes with the friends you keep around. You can have thousands of friends but if they all treat you like crap, never have your back, and bail out at the first sign of trouble, they aren’t worth a damn, and you should ditch and switch.

Pick friends who know your worth and who earn the privilege of being in your life.

You must add value to yourself and that means that your time and your friendship must come at a cost. And that cost is reciprocation.

If a so-called friend constantly deals you shabby treatment, you must immediately withdraw your friendship and tell that person to take a walk and to not even look back. That’s how you add value to yourself.

You must teach others how they should treat you.

I realize that it won’t be easy to walk away, especially if you’re a target of bullying and your toxic, fake friends seem to be the only options you have. Nobody wants to be lonely and friendless. However, wouldn’t you rather be by yourself than to have sorry pieces of crap who only let you down as your friends. I know I would!

You must know your worth. Know that you deserve more than the crumbs you’re getting. And know that you can have true friends if you ditch these creeps. Think of it like this: You’re getting rid of them to make room for the better friends you’re about to meet. I’m not saying that you won’t be friendless for a while because you just might be.

And if you must wait, here are a few things you can do to lift your spirits while you wait:

1.Dive into your hobbies.

2. Spend time with family and friends.

3. Do the things you enjoy doing.

4. Exercise.

5. Treat yourself to a pampering session- get a spa treatment, go on a trip to the beach, etc.

There are so many things you can do that will put a smile on your face. Only you know what they are. Self-care is so important during times like these.

But I promise you. You will meet better people and you will make better friends. And once you do, they will be worth the wait! Don’t you think you’re worth it? I do.

And always remember. Quality over quantity!

With knowledge comes empowerment!