Never Allow Yourself to Hate

Sadly, hate is too easy for bullying targets to get sucked into. When people have treated you so horrifically for long enough, you lose faith in humanity. A person who is the object of bullying begins believing that all people are self-serving lowlifes who enjoy seeing other human beings suffer. They soon become the very people they’re suspicious of. I’ve been there.

Targets of bullying often feel that there is justification for their hate. However, does this intense loathing serve any purpose or have benefits? No!

No matter how some creep may have wronged you, never give in to hate. Regardless of how severely that person may have transgressed against you, do not, under any circumstances, allow yourself to hate them because hate is poisonous! Not to the other person but to YOU!

Here’s why:

1. Hate burns you up inside. It eats down into your very soul and prolongs feelings of hurt, depression, and downright misery.

2. Hate doesn’t hurt the person being hated. It hurts you because nine times out of ten, the person you hate either doesn’t know about it, or they don’t care.

3. Anytime you hold hate in your heart against anyone, you unwittingly give up any blessings. Also, you forego any opportunities, which would otherwise come your way. You instead invite negativity and evil into your world. Hatred causes you to forego your own happiness, and life is too short to be anything but happy.

4. While you are sitting around stewing over some idiot who has wronged you in the past, the same idiot is going about their merry way and not giving you so much as a thought.

Hate Serves You No Purpose

That’s right. While you are holding grudges and plotting ways to get back at them, that person is just getting on with life. The person who hurt you is not worried about you. They are not thinking about you. So why do you think about them? They are a complete waste of brain activity!

Hate, insecurity, grudges, anger- they are all garbage in your life that needs to be disposed of. It’s time to take out the trash and take back the peace and happiness that you not only deserve but have a divine right to.

You deserve to be happy. And the only way you will find happiness is to let go of any grudges and hate and replace them with love and acceptance. It is what I had to do before I could be happy.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Hate Only Damages the Hater Not the Hated

As a survivor of severe bullying and peer-abuse, I’ve seen the faces of hate- up close and personal. And let me tell you, it’s ugly! And dangerous!

I know what it looks like. I’ve felt it’s powerful and painful sting and have been paralyzed by it. As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve even had it directed toward others in those days. But hatred is worthless. Most people don’t understand the damage it does to not the hated, but the hater!

The reality is that hate causes the hater more pain than it does the hated. I say this because I’ve witnessed it. In the past, I’ve looked into the eyes of my bullies- deep into their eyes- down into their souls! And I truly believe that if there wasn’t a law against murder or manslaughter, I probably wouldn’t be here today.

On the Receiving End of Hatred

That was the kind of hate many of my classmates had for me. I saw how it would burn them up inside. ‘You see? That’s what hate does. When you have hatred for another person, you’re only hurting yourself.

Because it will eat you up inside and make you crazy. Hate is a sick and twisted obsession and it can take over your life if you allow it to.

Hatred can destroy your happiness and prospects. It skews your judgement and ability to think clearly. It causes you to make horrible decisions- decisions that can alter the entire trajectory of your life.

Hate is Harmful on Both Sides

When a person has hatred for another human being, it numbs their conscience, dulls their reasoning capabilities. They will condone things they would otherwise deem immoral and evil. The hater will approve of the most depraved, heinous, and atrocious atrocities directed toward the hated person. Yet they would disapprove of it, even condemn it, if it’s against with anyone else, even a total stranger.

Hate turns even the kindest, most caring people into depraved monsters. Realize that hate destroys haters and targets alike. Hate kills.

Indifference is a better option than hate. Because with indifference, you could absolutely care less, You could care less if the person is doing good or bad, what he thinks, what he says, or what he does.

Indifference is Much Better than Hate

On the other hand, with hate, you care because all you want is for the hated person to suffer. There’s a strong desire to make sure nothing good happens for the hated.  And you obsessively seek to destroy them and their life. You want to make sure all opportunities are closed off to the hated person. This is what hate does. It causes haters to obsess over the hated.

So, if you’re a target of bullies, let them go ahead and hate on you. But don’t hate them back. Instead, be indifferent toward them, and how you do that is to stop caring what others think and do your thing, baby!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Which Would You Rather Be?

Hated for Being Smart or Pitied for Being Dumb?

I ask this question because many intelligent people try to hide their smarts for fear of hatred and bullying. They let others convince them that, because of their smarts, they come off as know-it-alls. Others tell them to dumb down because they “don’t want to make others feel bad about themselves.” They may even tell them to tone it down a little or they just might offend some people.

This is total BS!

I want you to know one thing right now! It is not your responsibility to make someone else feel good about themselves. Whether your intelligence offends others is not your problem. Their hatred of you is also not your problem.

Continue to be Your Smart Self

Understand that the reason why your intelligence may offend some people is because they are either jealous, intimidated, or insecure. It’s because of their own unaddressed psychological issues- issues that they’re trying to lay off on you.

Your intelligence may inspire some to doubt their own smarts and mental capabilities. Also, it may provoke others to compare themselves to you. Again, not your responsibility. They are the ones doubting and questioning their own intelligence. They are the ones who are making comparisons. You aren’t doing these things to them. They are doing it to themselves!

You are Not Responsible for Someone Else’s Feelings

Again, you are not responsible for another person’s self-esteem. Only they can do the inner work needed to raise their confidence levels. Therefore, if they’re too lazy to do that inner work, that’s on them!

Here’s another point I want to make: The hate that’s directed at you never feels good and can be frightening. But always remember that there’s dignity in being hated, but none in being pitied.

Yes, you read that correctly. When people hate you, you still have your dignity. But when they pity you, you’ve lost all dignity and respect!

Others hate smart people, but they pity the stupid.

Therefore, never hide your intelligence from anyone. Let yourself stand out and shine. And never feel tempted to hide your brilliance because you’re afraid of being bullied, ridiculed, or hated by others. Instead, ask yourself,

“Would you rather be hated for being smart or pitied for being dumb?”

I rest my case.

The Contagion of Hate

It’s one of the reasons bullies are able to unite people who think like they do and win over bystanders and members of authority. It’s the reason why entire schools, workplaces, and communities will repetitiously mob a single targeted person. Understand that hate builds on hate.

Hate also helps to mask the insecurities of each member of the hating group. And all haters have insecurities, but not all insecure people are haters. Bullies know that, outside of a group, they are insignificant, ineffective, and powerless. If you have noticed, and I’m almost certain you have, haters always- always hate in packs.

Bullies are known for inciting others to not only partake in their hatred of the target, but also agree with and condone it. In their shared hatred of a target, each member gets validation and gains a sense of self-worth. The group also helps them to forget all about their insecurities and shortcomings.

Other benefits bullies get from their groups is a feeling of immense power, anonymity, and decreased accountability.

Realize that hate is like an adhesive that binds each member of the bully group together. When a group of bullies verbally attack their target, it enhances each member’s self-image and the overall status of the group.

And once verbal attacks lose their thrill, these bullies will take it up a notch and begin taunting the target by flipping him off, throwing rocks, destroying their property, and other such activities. And once that no longer produces the power high they seek, they will then begin shoving, tripping, pushing, etc. Shoving, pushing and tripping will then escalate to punching, kicking, and beating- then worse, and worse, and worse still.

Understand that hate spreads like a cancer. It’s the root of so many problems today. It’s true that hate hurts the haters more than the hated and that it eats the haters up inside, it can still cause a lot of collateral damage and make life dangerous for the hated if the hated fail to learn to recognize it.

If you’re an object of hate, the best you can do is to make yourself a priority. And how you do that is to take steps to protect yourself, take care of yourself, and focus on the people you love and who love you. Stay away for the wrong people and keep yourself around people who uplift you. Stay in a warm and loving environment if possible. You owe it to yourself.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Here’s What Hate Does to the Hater

As we know, although the hated are affected by hatred, hate does more damage to the hater than to the hated because it eats the hater’s soul out from the inside. Here’s what else hate does to the hater.

It numbs their conscience and dulls their reasoning. Their minds are so consumed that all they can focus on are ways to harm the object of their hatred. It causes them to give a pass to things they would otherwise deem the most depraved, most heinous, and the most appalling atrocities just as long as they’re committed against the person they hate.

This is why hate can turn the kindest people into the vilest monsters. Because if it’s someone they hate taking the most insidious abuse, they’re more likely to stand by and watch it happen- and with a smile on their face.

The hater will be kind and gentle to anyone else, even total strangers, but to the person they hate, they will only brutalize.

Understand that if you’re a target of bullying and the object of hate, your bullies and haters have a sick and twisted obsession with you. They can’t get you out of their minds and they want to hurt you as much as they possibly can. Yes! Hate is an obsession. And it won’t only destroy you if you let it. It will destroy your bullies too.

The bright side of being hated is this. You can choose whether to let your haters get to you or not.

You have the delicious power to re-frame your thinking and realize that the hate is only hurting your haters. That their hate comes from something inside them, not something you did or said and not because there’s something wrong with you.

Then you can sit back, eat your popcorn, and watch them eat their hearts out and self-destruct. There’s a degree of dignity in being hated.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

A Chaotic Society: How Did We Get to This Evil Place?

People burning and stepping on Old Glory,

Dissing the soldiers that fought and bled,

Rewriting history and changing our story,

Hating the country that’s kept them well-fed,

As I see the cities burning, I scream at my TV,

“If you hate it that much, pack up and leave!”

How can it be- people have turn to sheep,

With eyes wide open, yet still asleep,

Believing everything, all of the media lies,

The spin, propaganda, and alibis,

Rich fat cats claiming to be oppressed,

Participation-trophy generation raised not to try their best,

Meritocracy replaced by hypocrisy,

And idiocracy,

Spoiled brats,

And fraidy-cats,

Freedom requires too much responsibility,

So, they’d rather have security,

They should get a one-way ticket to their chosen utopia

Maybe to China, or Cuba, Iran, or even Venezuela!

With fists raised high in the air,

They moan and cry “life’s not fair,”

Life losers with no communication skills,

Making their point with only violence that kills,

The only way they can get their point across,

Is by wearing victim-mentality and entitlement as their albatross,

Mad at the world, claiming they never got their share,

Jealousy and hate toward the successful hard-worker, and the heir,

Screaming, “Gimme, gimme, gimme! You owe me,

Everything should come to me for free,”

“Death to America” is their chant

They have a life-long attitude of “I can’t,”

Spoiled, rich, college kids thinking they’ve got it so bad,

All their whining makes a working-class girl so mad,

They call themselves warriors, they claim, “I’m a star,”

But they aren’t half the men our serviceman and veterans are,

 

(Which one would you call, “a warrior?”)

Social justice warriors aren’t warriors at all,

Only those who served, fought, and died- all who answered the call,

God bless America and let Freedom ring

Your whiney, crybaby opinions don’t mean a thing

My country ‘tis of thee, sweet land of liberty

Life is what you make it, not what you think it should be

If you want to see social change, then start with yourself,

And put your hate, bitterness, jealousy, and class-envy all on the shelf,

Replace your baditude with gratitude,

And get over yourselves.

Bullies Hate Differences of Any Kind. What is Hate Transfer?

bullying bullied victim hard

You’ve heard of addiction-transfer- when an addict replaces one addiction with another (for example, the addiction to food is replaced with an addiction to alcohol). But what about hate-transfer?

Here’s an explanation. I’ll use my school bullies as examples.

Many of my bullies in high school were stone-cold racists. However, they couldn’t express that hate to minorities because even during the ’80s and early ’90s, open racism was taboo. So, they simply replaced that hatred with that of the mentally ill and disabled, the indigent and out-of-town people.

I know they were racists because, on many occasions, they bullied me because having been a military brat and been around people of all races and creeds, I had no qualms with associating with people of all races. I accepted everyone because I’ve always believed we are all one race- the human race!

However, in Oakley, Tennessee, people frowned on this and not only people of my race but others as well.

hypocrite hypocrisy double standard

I also overheard many private conversations among girls in the bathrooms. They’d make disgusting racial slurs and put down other races among themselves within the privacy and secrecy of their group, then in public, smile and give a friendly pat on the back to the very people they put down earlier. Sheesh! They would act like they were their best friends.

But wait! There’s more!

However, they were openly hateful to the kids in the Special Ed classes, who they referred to as “the retarded kids.” They also publicly bullied kids who were dirt poor and kids who weren’t originally from Oakley. And if you were gay back then, you never let it be known at Oakley High School.

You see, people such as these have to have someone to bully. If they can’t bully other races, they will bully the poor and destitute. If they cannot bully transexuals, they will bully the mentally disabled.

bullying bullied victim

But wait! There’s more!

However, they were openly hateful to the kids in the Special Ed classes, who they referred to as “the retarded kids.” They also publicly bullied kids who were dirt poor and kids who weren’t originally from Oakley. And if you were gay back then, you never let it be known at Oakley High School.

You see, people such as these have to have someone to bully. If they can’t bully other races, they will bully the poor and destitute. If they cannot bully transexuals, they will bully the mentally disabled.

That is what hate-transfer is.

It’s having a hatred of anyone different from you but staying in the “safe zone” by only discriminating against those who aren’t as “protected.”

Prejudice against anyone should be illegal, and it is. However, bias against the poor or mentally disabled isn’t near as evident as bias against someone from a different race because anyone from any ethnicity can be poor or mentally incapacitated.

And skin color can be seen with the eyes. Poverty and mental disability are sometimes invisible to the eyes. You can be poor or have a mental disability. People can even know or suspect you may be poor or mentally disabled. But you don’t necessarily have to look that way.

bullying scapegoat victim bullied

Sadly, to have legal protections, your uniqueness to the majority must be seen with the eyes, and even then, it’s no guarantee you’ll have those protections.

Understand that most seasoned bullies hate anyone different from them. But they only harass the groups who have less legal protections and are “safest” and more socially acceptable to bully!

The more you know.