3 Differences Between Being Kind and Kissing Booty

Be kind, yes. But being kind doesn’t mean you have to kiss booty. Too many people seem to think that kindness is weakness. This distortion of thinking comes from the assumption that being kind equals kissing booty. Let me dispel these myths right now. Kindness is not weakness and it doesn’t mean kissing butt.

Understand that when people make these generalizations, they do it for two reasons:

1. As an excuse not to be kind.

2. Because they’ve been taught these types of things by abusive parents and family members, or by bullies.

Again, kindness isn’t weakness nor is it kissing booty. With that said, let’s distinguish between the two. What’s the difference between being kind and kissing butt? Here are your answers:

1. Being kind comes from confidence. Confident people extend kindness because they’re confident and they know they don’t have to be unkind. When a person is kind, they have confidence in both themselves and in others.

Kissing booty comes from insecurity and a lack of confidence. The intentions of kissing butt are never pure.. People kiss butt out of fear and insecurity.

2. Being kind comes from having pure intentions. People who extend true kindness expect nothing in return. Just the notion that they’ve made someone smile is the rewards they get. Being kind is being true.

Kissing booty comes from ulterior motives. People kiss butt either to get out of trouble and escape accountability, or they do because they want something from the “booty-kissee,”

Many times, people kiss butt for acceptance and approval, favor, and special treatment. They do it because they expect to benefit, whether socially, psychologically, or materially. Kissing booty is being manipulative.

3. Being kind also means being kind to yourself. Kind people are kind to themselves too. What this means is that, that they know that they can be kind to others without taking any crap from them. Truly kind people have boundaries. They don’t extend kindness at their own expense. Being kind is a virtue.

Kissing booty can mean being a doormat. A person who kisses butt has no boundaries and may put up with bad treatment from the people he kisses up to. He’s willing to sacrifice his dignity and self-respect just to get the benefits he’s after. Sadly, this kind of person usually gets shafted and then laughed at. Because most people have no respect for him, not even the people he kowtows to. Kissing booty is pathetic!

You’ll put up with shoddy treatment, all for the safe of getting that benefit you’re seeking by sucking up. And the harsh truth is that you may not get that benefit anyway. Some people are only good for reneging once you’ve served your purpose. Then you’ll only look and feel like a real tool. And you know what? That’s exactly what you are- a tool.

Therefore, it’s imperative that you learn the difference in the two, that way you’ll better be able to extend kindness and, at the same time, protect yourself from being used.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Be Kind to Others, Yet Remain True to Yourself and Your Needs

Yes! You can do both at the same time, but few people know where this healthy balance lies. May people are under the impression that kindness is weakness, which means that they believe that it’s a zero-sum game. They assume that you cannot be kind to others and yourself at the same time. I’m here to debunk this assumption.

Although it’s true when it goes to extremes, a healthy balance of kindness is a virtue! It’s all about keeping in that happy middle.

First, let me discuss the imbalances and extremes here:

1. Too kind or “nice.” When the niceness goes to extremes- when you’re “too nice” and let others use and walk on you, you set yourself up to be a doormat and that’s never good. A person who’s too nice is often so because they seek approval from others. So, they say yes to everything- even things they’d rather say no to. This isn’t healthy and it only attracts bullies and others who will only use and abuse you.

 2. Not kind at all- a jerk or worse, a bully. Because you’ve been hurt one too many times, you no longer care about the feelings of other people, and you treat others like crap and use them to achieve your own agenda. If you go this route, you’ll only miss opportunities to make good friends and improve your relationships with your family. You’ll always be lonely because no one wants to be around a jerk and everyone despises a bully.

The trick is to extend kindness to others and reserve your jerky side for only those who use, abuse, and disrespect you. Say no if someone asks or demands that you do something you don’t want to do. Refuse to get sucked into drama.

Extend to the janitor the same respect you give to the CEO. Treat the poor and homeless with dignity. Befriend the kid who has no friends at school. Be kind to the combat veteran with severe PTSD and who everyone thinks is crazy. Give your seat to the elderly woman using a walker. Be kind to those who are powerless and cannot do anything for you. For that’s the real test of character.

Stand up for yourself when arrogant bullies attack you and don’t back down. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, just like the next person. Command the same well-treatment that everyone else has a right to.

Don’t be too nice, but don’t be an unfeeling jerk either. And, for the love of Pete, never be a bully! Know that there’s a happy middle and stay in it.

With knowledge comes empowerment!