“They don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” – Lou Holz
I’ve never read a truer quote than this. It touches me in ways I cannot explain because I do care about people and always have. Only in the early days, I didn’t know how to show it or maybe I was afraid to show it because it made me vulnerable. After all, I was suffering from a torrent of bullying and I was afraid that if I showed vulnerabilities, people would eat me alive.
This was wrong think.
I now realize that before you can help others, you must not only care about them, but let them know that you care. Now I could spout off about how much I’ve learned about bullying and the dark part of human nature, but all that knowledge is worth nothing if I don’t care about my fellow man.
And anyone who shares their knowledge and gives advice without caring for people are only spreading their wisdom for purposes of vanity and that’s not good.
You must care about people, especially those you’re trying to help, or your cause will fall flat. Knowledge without love and caring is dead.
Throughout my lifetime, I’ve known many women who seemed to pick shady and nasty characters to date. I’m talking about smart and beautiful women who you know can do better if they’d be a little more selective!
I’ve found that many of these women date no-count losers who don’t treat them well. I’ve seen their partners degrade these poor women and try to control them. Many of these partners are either broke, jobless, or working dead-end jobs.
Several of these bad partners and spouses are in and out of jail and who always have their women post bail for them. And this becomes a cycle. Even sadder is the fact that many of these smart and beautiful women either move in with or marry these losers, then end up having to keep these scrubs up!
These women will pay their partner’s bills and try to make life easier for them, only to be disrespected by them later.
Let me give you my opinion here. And this opinion may tick a lot of people off, but I’ll say it anyway.
Unless they are sick and can’t work, any significant other who lives off a woman or works and spends the money on themselves rather than contributing to the home is a sorry sack! That’s how I view them. Still, many smart, talented, and beautiful women end up with just the type.
It’s because many of these women have low self-esteem. They’re blind to their beauty, intelligence, and strength. They’re afraid of being alone and don’t think they can do any better than these worthless partners. So, these women take what they think they can get and settle for so much less than what they deserve.
Also, they think that they can change the person or that the person has “potential.” So, again, in order to keep from being alone, they delude themselves into thinking that their partner is just going through a rough patch and that, eventually, they’ll do better. This is wrong and ends up dragging the poor woman down too.
It happens all the time. Smart and beautiful women resort to dating beneath their own standards to ensure they have a partner. Understand that they have the attitude that “anything is better than being alone.” So, they’re willing to put up with shabby treatment, spend all their hard-earned money to keep these creeps out of jail and do without just to keep a romantic partner.
I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be alone than to put up with some lazy piece of crap who does nothing but keep me stressed out and broke. I can do bad all by myself! I don’t need help from some scumbag.
I realize that life can be tough and we all get down on our luck sometimes. It happens. So, if you have a partner who’s striving and has lost their job, by no means am I suggesting that you leave because things happen that are beyond our control. And chances are that a person who really wants to do better will eventually. But if your partner doesn’t bother to try, you may want to consider other options.
If you’re in either of these types of relationships, know that you owe it to yourself to leave and to be more selective. Know that you’re worth it and if the other person can’t get their act together, you have every right to show them the door.
The last thing you should do is to waste any more time with a partner who doesn’t value you or the good you bring to their life. So, don’t settle or continue a relationship with someone who only takes you for granted. Find someone who values and cherishes you. Don’t you think you’re worth it? I do.
Later, I will post about men who date toxic partners.