Bullies are notorious energy vampires. An energy vampire will suck the oxygen out of every room they walk into. Their emotional default is always set on negative, forever having a problem for every solution. Where there’s positivity, they rain on it with their negative toxicity.
Anytime you’re striving for something, or winning at something, they always seen to trash it with statements such as:
“You can’t do it.”
“That’s not for you.”
“You’re too fat.”
“You’re too skinny.”
“You’re not pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough…” etc.
“You couldn’t possibly…”
When they find out you’re working toward a goal or planning for your future, these types of people will come up with all kinds of reasons why you won’t succeed. And if you do succeed at something or score a big win, they’ll say things such as:
“That was only beginner’s luck.”
“That was only a freak accident.”
“You just got lucky.”
“It won’t last.”
“It’s about time because you never won at anything before.”
No matter what you do, energy vamps will find a way to pee all over it.
Understand that energy vampires try to zap your energy because they never accomplished anything and they’re afraid that you just might reach success and make them look and feel bad. The best thing to do is to avoid them at all costs before they drag you down and rub their negativity off on you.
If you are a target of bullying, or, if you aren’t a target but want to protect yourself from becoming one, it’s important to know that anyone who abuses, mistreats, or disrespects you doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life. Understand that people who don’t value you are, in return, of no value to you. And you must take out the trash.
But realize also that these people will treat others badly too and you can often tell who they are by the way they talk, behave, carry themselves, and how they treat other people.
Here are the types of people you should avoid altogether:
1. The Taker and Never Giver- If you find yourself doing all the calling, texting, and the visiting, then, the relationship is one-sided and it’s best to cut the person loose.
2. The Gaslighter- This is a person who finds everything wrong with you and nothing wrong in themselves. It seems they never have anything positive to say. What’s worse is this person will often put on a gleaming façade of perfection while throwing stones at you and anyone who “rubs them the wrong way.” And when they hide their own shortcomings, they will project them onto you to use you as a distraction from their sins. Don’t walk, run! This person is not the least bit healthy to be around!
3. The Ball-Buster- Although this should be a no-brainer, many people are abused for so long they become rewired to take even more of it. However, the fact remains. Anyone who makes you feel like crap shouldn’t be a part of your life and you should weed them out. These people will be those who subtly insult you and make backhanded compliments. They will hurl little zingers your way and make you feel like a total loser. Again, this is the person who doesn’t belong anywhere near you. So, do like Snoop Dog and “drop it like it’s hot!”
4. The Backstabber- If you have a friend who talks smack about their other friends to you, then you can bet the farm that they’re running their pie hole about you to the same friends when you’re not around to hear it. This person isn’t to be trusted. In fact, they aren’t worth knowing. Take out the trash.
5. The Shallow Hal- If this person was any more plastic, they’d be a Barbie doll. If you know someone who’s superfiial and constantly belittling other people’s weight, looks, the clothes they wear, or the car they drive, have nothing more to do with this person.
6. The Blind Beggar- This person always seems to be desperately searching for love, friendships, clients, etc. Then complains when he doesn’t find them, all while looking past what’s right in front of their face and forgetting about the people who’ve been there for them. Sadly, I did this a few times when I was young and have also had the same done to me. Again, if the person doesn’t see the value you bring to them, it’s time to bid them goodbye and good riddance.
7. The One Upper- This person forever one ups you every time you tell them of your blessings or anything good you accomplished. In other words, if you took a whizz, this person took two. If you went out on a date, this person went on two dates- you get the picture. Understand that this person is all about themselves and is always trying to outdo you and look better than you. Ditch and switch, baby!
8. The Feelings Invalidator- Only you can know your inner reality. No one else can possibly be privy to that information. If someone tells you how you feel, or how you should feel, they claim to know the unknowable and they also send the messages that you don’t have a right to feel the way you do. No one has the right to do that to you. No one! Tell them to take a hike.
9. The Green-Eyed Monster- This person is never happy for you when you reach success and secretly resents you each time you make an accomplishment. And you can always tell because you will accidentally look out the corner of your eye and see the tiny micro-flashes of contempt, they shoot at you when they think you aren’t looking. What you need are cheerleaders- real friends around you, not frenemies who resent your successes. Chuck this person fast!
10.The Pot-Stirrer- This is a person who loves to sow discord and division among others. These are the types who will go back and forth to one person and be a double agent, telling each person what the other said about them. And when the two quarreling people finally come to blows, this scumbag will then stand back and watch with glee as the two duke it out. Get rid of this creep! Quickly!
11. The Drama Queen- Closely related to the pot-stirrer, this person will whine and complain that they always seem to be in a jam. They will blame others for their misfortunes, gossip about others, and bellyache when they have to do any kind of work. Stay away from this person because they’ll dog your mood and be a drag to be around.
12. Anyone who belittles or ridicules your goals and dreams- when you talk about your dreams and aspirations, or celebrate an accomplishment, this person will pee all over it. For example, you decide to go back to school and your so-called friend, family member, spouse, or coworker tells you that you’re not good enough or not smart enough and that you doomed to fail. Show this idiot the door because they’ll only drag you down and cause you to doubt yourself and your capabilities.
Understand that anyone who seems to suck the life out of you aren’t the people for you. It’s true that you can’t control their behavior, but what you can control is whether to have any more to do with them. Remember that you have more power than you realize. Use it and give these life-leeches the boot!
Negative people have a knack for bringing others down. They seem to suck the air out of every room they walk into and make everyone around them feel yucky. In many cases, these people don’t have to say a word. The vibes and bad energy alone are enough to darken the brightest of moods because you can sense it. You can feel it in your gut.
This is why it’s so important that you listen to your gut and avoid people who have a dark disposition and who seem to attract misfortune. It’s okay to help someone when they’re in trouble and provide a listening ear to someone who’s sad and needs to talk. Nothing wrong with that.
But if a person seems to live in a dark place and never get out of the funk they’re in, or, if the individual has bad stuff happen to them nonstop, it’s best to either limit time spent with them or avoid them altogether.
‘You see? Moods and emotional states are as contagious as the flu. And another person’s bad moods and misfortunes have a way of rubbing off on the people around them.
It’s much better to keep company with people who are happy, successful, and satisfied with their lives. Now, before I go on, I realize that bad things do happen to good people and that just because someone is unfortunate doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re negative.
Some have been brought down by circumstances beyond their control. They are the ones we offer a helping hand to.
However, others bring misfortune on themselves by their negative attitudes, actions, and effect on others. We should avoid these people like the plague because there’s no changing them. In fact, they will only end up changing you and not for the better.
Again, understand that we’re all susceptible to the moods, emotional states, and ways of thinking of the people we spend time with. And those who are unhappy and unstable have a contagion effect on us because of the extreme intensity of their emotions.
These are people with a victim mentality and most bullies do present themselves as victims. They will never admit that they bring a lot of bad karma on themselves by the way they treat others. And if you’re not careful, they’ll only bring you down too, because they will overwhelm you with their forceful nature.
How you keep a positive attitude is to keep company with positive and happy people. These people don’t have to mistreat or bully anyone to feel good about themselves. They’re already happy and enjoying their lives.
And they’re such a pleasure to be around. When you befriend and spend time with people who are happy and positive, you get to share in their happiness and prosperity. You become a part of the happiness they embody and the happiness they attract to themselves.
So, why not keep them around and let their joy infect you? You’ll be so glad you did!