The Zero-Sum Game

That’s what bullying is, a zero-sum game- where the bullies have all the power, and the target has their personal power stolen from them. Bullies believe that in order for them to attain happiness, their targets mustn’t have it- for them to have joy, their targets must suffer. It’s an unhealthy balance not only for the target, but for the bullies too.

To inflict pain on the target makes the bullies feel like kings and queens, like they’re superior to and better than another person. To rule over someone gives bullies a rush of power and control and to keep getting that rush- that power-high, bullies must keep up the torment and even worst, escalate it. In other words, they must continue to expend effort to keep the target from attaining happiness.

Bullies use the target as their scapegoat to blame all their troubles in life on and unleash all their pinned-up hostilities and aggressions on.

If the bully loses out on an award, the target is suddenly to blame.

If the bullies lose a ballgame, it’s the target’s fault.

If one of the bullies has a falling out with another family member, it’s because of the target.

If the bullies couldn’t get laid the night before, the target gets the blame.

If it rained when the bullies wanted sunshine, blame the target.

If the bully made an F on his report card, or didn’t finish a project in time, it’s the target’s fault because the target didn’t let the bully cheat off him or take credit for his work.

The bullies see the target as their sacrificial lamb. They force the target to take the rap for all their mistakes, screw-ups, flaws, and shortcomings. The target is a convenience to the bullies because he/she is a tool to help the bullies forget all about their insecurities, fears, inhibitions, flaws, and imperfections. In other words, the bullies get to unleash all their issues and feel light as a feather while the target must be weighed down with everyone else’s problems. Hence, the imbalance, or more appropriately, the zero-sum.

Even bullies find themselves in situations where they feel weak, indignant, wronged, and where they feel unimportant and unwanted. And the target is just the villain they need to place all their anger, bitterness, and frustrations on.

The target is forced to take all the blame, all the beatings of their soul and spirit, all the abuse while the bullies ride high on dominance and control.

When a target has their personal power taken from them, he then becomes powerless. The game then becomes zero-sum, because it’s the people with all the power against someone who is powerless.

If you’re that target, know that your true power resides within you and it’s something nobody can take away from you unless you unwillingly allow them to. And your power comes with the realization that you deserve to be treated with respect and that you don’t have to tolerate people or environments that are toxic or harmful.

Tap into that power and you’ll be able to tip the scales and restore balance to power. Even better, you’ll find peace and confidence you never thought possible.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

A Covert Form of Misogyny

Full Length of Two Adult Woman Standing Side by Side with Hands on Hips in Separate Lanes of Outdoor Running Track – Two Friends Sizing Up Competition

Women today are being discriminated against more than I’ve ever seen in my lifetime. And this sexism and sex discrimination against women comes in the name of transgender equality. You have to admit it- the Evil-lites and the Far Radical Left have really outdone themselves this time.

They came up with a brilliant, totally ingenious way to disenfranchise women and girls. This form of bullying of the female sex is as on the sly as we’ve ever seen. I’ll never accuse evil of not being inventive. What better way is there to put women back in their place without most even realizing it then to shout equality for transgenders?

And the reason few people realize what is happening is because most people have lost their ability to think critically and to listen to their intuition.

This is not all. The Radical Left have also backed countries like Iran- where it is customary to brutalize women, even through they claim to be champions for women’s rights. They support countries where women are stoned to death if even accused of being unfaithful to their husbands. Just watch the movie, “The Stoning of Soraya M” and you’ll see that this is true.

If you’re for equal rights for women then you’re for it one hundred percent- across the board! You can’t be for women’s rights and at the same time, back countries and people who brutalize women and if you think you can, you only prove yourself a hypocrite.

But get this! The Left also touts being champions for the rights of the LBGTQ community, yet they back countries like Iran- where people have a long history of throwing homosexuals off the tops of tall buildings.

Just as it is with equal rights for women and girls, if you’re for equal rights of the LBGTQ community, again, you’re for them one hundred percent- across the board. You cannot claim to be for LBGTQ rights and, at the same time, support countries and people who believe in killing them. If you do, you’re only a hypocrite who talks out both sides of your mouth.

Actions speak louder than words. And, I’ll say again. The problem with so many people today- especially people who fall for the hypocritical arrogance and lies of politicians, is that they let euphemisms, pretty words, and fancy, eloquent speeches beguile them. They take words for genuineness without taking the time to pay attention and see if the body language and actions match their politicians’ words.

And they let words influence them because they’re ruled by their emotions, with those emotions being mostly intense anger, bitterness, jealousy, and hatred. The Left knows that when people are eaten up with these toxic emotions, they lose the ability to think clearly and to make healthy decisions. That’s what they count on.

But a person who remains calm and keeps a level head can see the discrepancies clearly.

It’s sad that women and girls are getting the shaft in this day and time, a century after the Suffrage Movement and sixty years after Women’s Lib. Instead of making progress, we seem to be going backwards now. Thankfully, a few states have exercised their Popular Sovereignty and saved women’s’ and girls’ sports in their states.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing  against the transgender community. I believe that we should all be permitted self-determination and to be able to live however makes us happy. And I agree that we should treat transgenders with kindness and humanity. God does give free will. However, transgenders in women’s and girls’ sports only put biological females at a severe disadvantage. This is because transgenders still have the muscle mass, bone density, weight, and height of a man regardless of whether they still have the genitalia.

And if I had a teenage daughter on a boxing team, I could not risk her getting her brains beat out by someone who was once a biological male.

My point is this. If you’re going to promote equality for a disenfranchised group like transgenders, make sure that you don’t end up disenfranchising another group like biological females in the process. When one groups’ rights get trampled in the name of “equality,” then it’s not equality because a power imbalance still exists.

What it is, is taking all power from one group and handing it over to another. And, in this case, it’s only a sneaky and sly form of misogyny.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

How to Distinguish Between Bullying and Incivility

Often times, we ran into people who are just jerks and are rude to random people. Just because a person is rude to us does not mean that they are bullying us.

Anyone, at any age, can become a target of bullying, and there is evidence that child and teen targets are more likely to grow up to be bullied, adults. Some do not, I didn’t, but others do.

All bullies, regardless of age, deep down at their core, are cowards!
The difference between child bullies and adult bullies is that the young bullies select targets who are weaker, smaller, mentally handicapped, or sick with a disease (Type 1 diabetics, childhood cancer patients, paraplegics, etc.).

Adult bullies target well-liked, outgoing, confident, and successful people in their jobs or have successful marriages and family life. Adult bullies target people who have what they themselves want but feel they can’t and feel those people outshine them and threaten them.

With that being said, this has prompted me to talk about the subject and how one can overcome a hostile work environment. I believe that knowledge is power, and without it, you may not know what to do when an adult bully comes calling. So I feel that it is incumbent upon me to share my own knowledge, experience, and the tools I used to overcome a hostile work environment and come out virtually unscathed.

There is no age limit on bullying. It does not stop after high school graduation, nor does it stop at age 18, 21, 40, or even 60. If it did, there would be no assaults, murders, robberies, home invasions, or the like. And there wouldn’t be corporate or government corruption either.

The majority of employees will have at least one encounter with a workplace bully in their lifetime. So if you have never been the target of an ultra dominating and overbearing boss or coworkers, chances are that you will sometime in the future.

After high school, I was fortunate to have never suffered bullying in the workplace until just a few years ago. For years, in the places I worked, I was usually the one who was well-liked by my supervisors and coworkers because I worked hard and did my best to treat everyone with respect. This is not to say that I didn’t run into a few dirtbags – smart-alecs, gossips, and trouble makers because I did.

narcissist bad attitude

But these people usually treated EVERYONE like dirt, not only me. Also, they were only a few and not liked by the rest of my coworkers. So these were not cases of bullying, although I may have thought differently at the time. So how do we distinguish a case of bullying from incivility?

BULLYING – involves singling one person out of the whole of alumni, organization, company, or geographic population. It also involves repetition…repeated attacks against the same individual or group over a long period of time (usually from 3 weeks to several years). Also, others, even total strangers, are usually encouraged to join in.

Bullying is relentless. Bullying is a CAMPAIGN with a GOAL

It means destroying the target’s good name and standing in a community, relationships, family, career, finances, businesses and to ruin the target’s self-esteem and sense of security and well-being, to eventually ruin his/her life.

INCIVILITY – does not have any certain target.

People such as these don’t care who you are or where you come from. They just have personalities that suck and treat everyone in general, like dirt. And they only insult you because they don’t want to be bothered, whereas a bully or bullies will actively pursue you and make it their mission in life just to destroy you. A jerk, on the other hand, will never put in the effort to pursue anyone.

Crazy young man in white shirt standing and screaming at woman in pink dress. woman dont care and looking at camera with toothy smile. indoor studio shot, isolated on light brown background.

INCIVILITY – is sporadic and random mistreatment against random people. It does not involve repetition and is not directed at any certain person or group.

BULLYING – is personal, and there is always an agenda and vendetta behind it.

INCIVILITY – is not personal, and there is no agenda nor vendetta.

The person is just a jerk. Everyone will experience incivility at times in their lives, even popular people. A jerk has no particular target and does not care who you are. A jerk is an equal-opportunity dirt bag.

A jerk just doesn’t care…about anyone…period.

A jerk is afraid you might want something from him.

A bully wants something from YOU.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Here’s How the Dynamics Change When You Stand Up to a Bully

Anytime you stand up to or reject a bully, you instantly change the power dynamic. You immediately take your personal power back and you automatically put the bully in a position of weakness and inferiority. You flip the script and take the position of power over the bully. This is why bullies cannot handle rejection because they feel that they must always be in the position of power in a relationship, especially the bully/target relationship.

A bully gets angry enough when anyone stands up to them. But if the person standing up to them happens to be the target- someone that they’ve grown accustomed to abusing- someone who they deem inferior, that’s when the bully really loses their marbles.

This is because the target is most likely on the bottom of the pecking order and when she finally bucks up and stands up to a bully, she then (figuratively) trades places with the bully and puts the bully on the bottom of the pecking order, if only for that moment. That’s what the bully can’t handle and that’s why he/she will explode with rage.

The bully’s unspoken message is:

“How dare you!”

“Who is this phlegm-wad to stand up to me? ME!

“This piece of scum is supposed to be under me and here she is talking to me and acting like she’s OVER me! Oh no! This can’t happen! Who does this loser think she is!”

“The nerve of that &#$%!”

“She’s making trouble and now I’ve got to really act out to put her back under me where she belongs!”

Understand that bullies rely on fear, overwhelming strength, and coercion to get what they want from you. And they’ve been steamrolling people and getting their way for so long that they’ve become quite arrogant and self-satisfied. And when you finally have enough of their gas and set your foot down, you can bet that it’s going to throw these types of people off. And do you know what else it’s going to do?

It’s going to blast a huge hole in their ego and it will shock the bejeebers out of them. Then the bullies will become highly PO’ed. In fact, they’ll become so angry that they’ll more than likely go from zero to one hundred in a matter of seconds. If the bully is a narcissist (and most bullies are), he will go into what is called narcissistic rage. And trust me, you don’t want to be anywhere around when this happens.

So, keep this in the back of your mind and be prepared. If you are a target of bullying and anytime you get fed up with others’ abuse and finally grow a spine, you can bet that your bullies will do anything they can to break it. It’s why they escalate the bullying when a target stops accepting the bad treatment and begins speaking out and asserting themselves.

Understand that a bully has a very delicate ego and his ego is involved. When you tell them to go kick rocks, you undermine their perceived superiority over you. Even worse, you put them into an inferior position and the bully knows that. Bullies are very prideful and their pride takes a huge blow anytime you talk back or fight back. And most bullies would rather die than to be made inferior, especially to their targets.

When you stand up to your bullies, be prepared for a battle because they will become vindictive. Your bullies will seek revenge on you and they won’t stop coming after you until they get it. Realize that they don’t care if they’re the ones who’ve mistreated you all these years and they don’t care that you’ve suffered.

The only thing they are thinking at this moment is that you challenged their superiority and authority. You are a target and nothing else. You are beneath them, yet you had the nerve to undermine them and make them look like punks and now you must pay a price for it. This is how bullies think.

Now yes, some bullies will back down but many will not.

However, know that you must defend yourself no matter what because you have a right to safety and to be treated with dignity. And if the bullies and bullying become too much to deal with, there’s nothing wrong with leaving the environment. Realize that leaving is not running and it’s not being fearful or “chicken.” It’s self-care, it’s smarts, and it’s self-preservation. You must do what you must to protect not only your physical health, but also your mental health.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

A Zero-Sum Game

That’s what bullying is, a zero-sum game- where the bullies have all the power, and the target has their personal power stolen from them. Bullies believe that in order for them to attain happiness, their targets mustn’t have it- for them to have joy, their targets must suffer. It’s an unhealthy balance not only for the target, but for the bullies too.

To inflict pain on the target makes the bullies feel like kings and queens, like they’re superior to and better than another person. To rule over someone gives bullies a rush of power and control and to keep getting that rush- that power-high, bullies must keep up the torment and even worst, escalate it. In other words, they must continue to expend effort to keep the target from attaining happiness.

Bullies use the target as their scapegoat to blame all their troubles in life on and unleash all their pinned-up hostilities and aggressions on.

If the bully loses out on an award, the target is suddenly to blame.

If the bullies lose a ballgame, it’s the target’s fault.

If one of the bullies has a falling out with another family member, it’s because of the target.

If the bullies couldn’t get laid the night before, the target gets the blame.

If it rained when the bullies wanted sunshine, blame the target.

If the bully made an F on his report card, or didn’t finish a project in time, it’s the target’s fault because the target didn’t let the bully cheat off him or take credit for his work.

The bullies see the target as their sacrificial lamb. They force the target to take the rap for all their mistakes, screw-ups, flaws, and shortcomings. The target is a convenience to the bullies because he/she is a tool to help the bullies forget all about their insecurities, fears, inhibitions, flaws, and imperfections. In other words, the bullies get to unleash all their issues and feel light as a feather while the target must be weighed down with everyone else’s problems. Hence, the imbalance, or more appropriately, the zero-sum.

Even bullies find themselves in situations where they feel weak, indignant, wronged, and where they feel unimportant and unwanted. And the target is just the villain they need to place all their anger, bitterness, and frustrations on.

The target is forced to take all the blame, all the beatings of their soul and spirit, all the abuse while the bullies ride high on dominance and control.

When a target has their personal power taken from them, he then becomes powerless. The game then becomes zero-sum, because it’s the people with all the power against someone who is powerless.

If you’re that target, know that your true power resides within you and it’s something nobody can take away from you unless you unwillingly allow them to. And your power comes with the realization that you deserve to be treated with respect and that you don’t have to tolerate people or environments that are toxic or harmful.

Tap into that power and you’ll be able to tip the scales and restore balance to power. Even better, you’ll find peace and confidence you never thought possible.

Misogyny in Disguise

Full Length of Two Adult Woman Standing Side by Side with Hands on Hips in Separate Lanes of Outdoor Running Track – Two Friends Sizing Up Competition

 

Women today are being discriminated against more than I’ve ever seen in my lifetime. And this sexism and sex discrimination against women comes in the name of transgender equality. You have to admit it- the Far Radicals have really outdone themselves this time.

They came up with a brilliant, totally ingenious way to disenfranchise women and girls. This form of bullying of the female sex is as on the sly as we’ve ever seen. I’ll never accuse evil of not being inventive. What better way is there to put women back in their place without most even realizing it then to shout equality for transgenders?

And the reason few people realize what is happening is because most people have lost their ability to think critically and to listen to their intuition.

This is not all. The Radical Left have also backed countries like Iran- where it is customary to brutalize women, even through they claim to be champions for women’s rights. They support countries where women are stoned to death if even accused of being unfaithful to their husbands. Just watch the movie, “The Stoning of Soraya M” and you’ll see that this is true.

If you’re for equal rights for women then you’re for it one hundred percent- across the board! You can’t be for women’s rights and at the same time, back countries and people who brutalize women and if you think you can, you only prove yourself a hypocrite.

But get this! The Left also touts being champions for the rights of the LBGTQ community, yet they back countries like Iran- where people have a long history of throwing homosexuals off the tops of tall buildings.

If you’re for equal rights of the LBGTQ community, you’re for them one hundred percent- across the board. You cannot claim to be for LBGTQ rights and, at the same time, support countries and people who believe in killing them. Again, if you do, you’re only a hypocrite who talks out both sides of your mouth.

Actions speak louder than words. And, I’ll say again. The problem with so many people today- especially people who fall for the hypocritical arrogance and lies of politicians, is that they let euphemisms, pretty words, and fancy, eloquent speeches beguile them. They take words for genuineness without taking the time to pay attention and see if the body language and actions match their politicians’ words.

And they let words influence them because they’re ruled by their emotions, with those emotions being mostly intense anger, bitterness, jealousy, and hatred. The Left knows that when people are eaten up with these toxic emotions, they lose the ability to think clearly and to make healthy decisions. That’s what they count on.

But a person who remains calm and keeps a level head can see the discrepancies clearly.

It’s sad that women and girls are getting the shaft in this day and time, a century after the Suffrage Movement and sixty years after Women’s Lib. Instead of making progress, we seem to be going backwards now. Thankfully, a few states have exercised their Popular Sovereignty and saved women’s’ and girls’ sports in their states.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing  against the transgender community. I believe that we should all be permitted self-determination and to be able to live however makes us happy. And I agree that we should treat transgenders with kindness and humanity. However, transgenders in women’s and girls’ sports only put biological females at a severe disadvantage. This is because transgenders still have the muscle mass, bone density, weight, and height of a man regardless of whether they still have the genitalia.

And if I had a teenage daughter on a boxing team, I could not risk her getting her brains beat out by someone who was once a biological male.

My point is this. If you’re going to promote equality for a disenfranchised group like transgenders, make sure that you don’t end up disenfranchising another group like biological females in the process. When one groups’ rights get trampled in the name of “equality,” then it’s not equality because a power imbalance still exists.

What it is, is taking all power from one group and handing it over to another. And, in this case, it’s only a sneaky and sly form of misogyny.