The Moral of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

“You can tell a man’s vises by his friends, his virtues by his enemies.” – Ben Domenech.

Often times, bullies attack your virtues. They make fun of your good qualities and make them seem as something bad- a defect that you should be ashamed of.

For example, if a person is kind and gentle, they may be bullied because they’re seen as weak or mistaken for being a suck-up. If a kid has a talent and is proud of his talent, it’s likely that he’s accused of showboating, then bullied and his talent devalued.

If anything should remind you of your value, even in the midst of bullying and persecution, it’s the story of Rudolph. His red nose made him different from the other reindeer and they bullied and persecuted him for it. Even the adult reindeer were mean to Rudolph.

But the very characteristic the other reindeer scorned and made fun of was the thing that would be of the most value later.

In the beginning, no one realized the beauty of Rudolph’s nose. But, in the end, that nose only promoted Rudolph to the lead reindeer to guide Santa’s sleigh through terrible weather conditions and saved Christmas from being cancelled.

Again, the thing that bullies tolerate, or more appropriately, denigrate, may later be the very thing people celebrate. You may be bullied and friendless now,  but don’t be so quick to condemn yourself to “the island of misfit toys.”

Why? Because Rudolph, the misfit elf who wanted to be a dentist, and the misfit toys eventually found acceptance and love.

And the thing about you that people ridicule and deem different now could later be the very thing that launches you to unimaginable heights!

The show is a children’s Christmas classic but it sends a very grown-up message.

Don’t give up. Stand strong. Value yourself even if others don’t. You don’t know what God has in store for you down the road.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

The 7 Purposes of Ridicule and Why Bullies Use It

 

Ridicule is indeed one of the most powerful weapons against a target. No one wants to be ridiculed. Many people, in fact, consider death to be a better option. However, we must continue to remind ourselves that there are reasons bullies use it and the number one reason is to contain threats to their status and power.

In other words, anytime your bullies dial up the ridicule, it’s likely because they see you as threat. Maybe they’re on high alert because you somehow give them the impression that you see through their bullshit and that you just might expose them to the rest of the world and cause them to lose respect and topple them from their proverbial thrones.

And now, they must do some damage control. You made trouble for them and now they must jump through hoops to re-enforce their power and control of you. Because, if they can’t have power over you or anyone else, they deem inferior, then who can they have power over? Who else is there to dominate?

Understand that this is how bullies’ minds operate. So, without further ado, here are the 3 purposes of ridicule:

1.To silence you. As I’ve stressed many times before, anytime you report bullying or speak out against it, bullies will turn up the ridicule. They’ll laugh and call you “crazy,” “crybaby,” “whiner,” “wuss,” or other such names. Trust me. It’s all designed to shut you up and give the appearance that you’re weak and they’re still in control and unafraid.

 But they’re very afraid. So, they use something they know is likely to work- and stick.

2. To ruin you in the eyes of others. Ridicule has a powerful contagion effect and bystanders love to join in. And once you get ridiculed a few times, you become an outcast and at the bottom of the pecking order. Once you’ve lost respect, you’ve lost credibility as well.

3. To induce fear of social rejection. As mentioned earlier, many people fear death less than they do social rejection and alienation. Ridicule is the best way to mar a person in the eyes of others. Once a person is ridiculed, people shun them because they fear that if they associate with the target, they may be ridiculed and rejected too.

4. To keep you under their thumb. When people ridicule a target, they’re asserting power and dominance over that person. Ridicule is one of the best ways to strip someone of their personal power and lord dominance over them.

5. To punish you for stepping out of your place. Whether you speak out against abuse, you succeed at something, or outshine who perceive themselves to be the “ruling clique,” in the minds of bullies, you’re stepping out of your place, and you must be dealt with, not only as punishment, but to be made an example to others that this could happen to them to if they get out of line.

6. To keep you subdued. Fear keeps most people subdued and and the ruling clique in power. When you’re afraid, you’re more than likely to keep your head down and go along to get along.

7. To shame and humiliate you. Shame and humiliation are also powerful weapons, and they break your self-esteem very easily. Bullies use these to weaken you and take the fight out of you. And once your self-esteem is broken, you’re least likely to defend yourself.

In a nutshell, ridicule is designed to strip you of power. However, if you see the ridicule for what it is and know the reasons behind it, your self-esteem is less likely to take a big hit and you will better be able to stand against it and let the bullies know that you won’t be jerked around. Remember that this knowledge can be a power all its own.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

How to Tell Whether They’re Laughing With You or At You

bully laughing at you

Many targets are abused for so long that they simply lose trust in people and withdraw from everyone. And in social situations, many targets mistakenly assume that those they’re with are laughing at them when they’re really laughing with them. And this can cause a rift between the target and a person who’s a mean-meaning friend.

So, how can you tell the difference?

Here’s how:

1. Laughing with you: Eye contact. The person is looking at you and interacting with you while laughing.

Laughing at you: Lack of eye contact. The person is looking around at everyone else but you while laughing.

2. Laughing with you: The person doesn’t hold the laughter in. Instead, the laughter happens automatically and spontaneously.

Laughing at you: The laugher usually pauses first. And they don’t laugh out loud but only snicker.

laughing with you

3. Laughing with you: How does the person treat you once the laughter is over? They’re generally good to you and they enjoy being around you.

Laughing at you: The person treats you with contempt and they won’t hang around. They may even make a snide remark to you on their way out to go laugh at you behind your back.

And it depends on context.

4. Laughing with you: The laughter is deep and the person’s natural laugh.

Laughing at you: There’s “mocking laughter”, where the person imitates your laugh. The person isn’t laughing because you’ve done anything wrong or stupid, or because there’s anything wrong with you. They’re laughing at you to bring you down and boost their own social status or to feel better about themselves.

bullies laughing gossip rumors lies talk

5. Laughing with you: The person generally has good feelings toward you and is having fun or being playful.

Laughing at you: The person has a hostile and hurtful attitude toward you. They’re enjoying your pain, humiliation or weakness.

The sooner you recognize the differences, the sooner you’ll avoid the wrong people and the better relationships you’ll have with the people who truly love and care about you. And ultimately, the better you’ll feel!