Many targets of bullying, after people bully them so severely for so long, become painfully shy. I did. So, I understand entirely.
When a target has personal attacks hurled at them from every direction, and others scrutinize everything they say and do down to the tiniest detail, it’s easy for that person to withdraw, shut out the rest of humanity, and hide in plain sight. It seems to be the safest thing to do.
However, it’s a terrible way to live. Shyness is like a prison without walls. It stops you from being your true, authentic self, and you end up missing out on so much. Shyness keeps you from having fun and enjoying life.
When you’re shy, you don’t properly connect with others because you’re too busy thinking about yourself rather than others.
There. I said it.
You’re too busy thinking instead of connecting- thinking of what to say next, wondering what others are thinking of you and of how they can benefit you, and self-conscious of how you’re coming across. You’re too busy thinking about you!
But what if I said that there was a way to get rid of shyness? What if I told you there’s one- just one ingredient?
It’s true! Are you ready for it? Here it is.
How you get rid of shyness is to take the focus off yourself and become interested in others. And when you do that, you put yourself out there and take risks.
As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” How right she was.
When you’re so shy that you can’t bear social situations, it’s a sign that you’ve already given your power over to other people. Not good! You owe it to yourself to take that power back.
It won’t be easy. It may feel awkward at first. But put yourself out there and take risks. Greet people- even total strangers, with a smile and a “Hi. How are you?” You’ll be surprised at the positive outcomes you get and how your confidence begins to soar.
I know what some of you are thinking.
“What if they reject me?”
Rejection is a part of life. You just have to deal with that. Better yet, embrace it. It’s a risk you must take. Life is full of risks.
But if you don’t take risks, you don’t really live, you only exist.
Realize that human beings love it when you’re genuinely interested in them. Let them tell you about themselves and listen not only with your ears and eyes but with your whole heart. Do it long enough, and soon, it will no longer feel awkward. You won’t even need to think about it. It will feel like second nature.
Only when you develop a genuine interest in other people will your shyness disappear. The key is to focus outside yourself.
So, get out there and schmooze it up! I guarantee that you’ll be pleasantly surprised not only at the results you get but how confident you feel!
With knowledge comes empowerment!