The Bullying of Home Healthcare Workers by Their Client’s Families

There have been millions of home health care aides who have been bullied by their client’s families. I worked in healthcare for 11 years and I have certainly had it happen to me. The good thing is that I was in a position to where I would drop the client’s case and walk away. However, many home health care aides feel trapped in hostile environments and aren’t in a position to get out.
I know a home health worker who cared for a client six hours per day, four days a week and the elderly client was satisfied with the help she give her. Yet the client’s family totally screwed everything up for her (the client) and the worker had no choice but to drop the client in her refusal to deal with the family.
I’ll call this worker, Shelly. And we’ll call the client, Mrs. Shayes. Here’s what she had to say when she told me her story:
“I truly feel bad for my former client, Mrs. Shayes (not the client’s real name). Her family bullied good care workers and I truly felt bad for her, but I had to put my own health first and walk because these people were bordering on dangerous. I was the ninth worker this poor lady had in the span of only a year. So, that, in itself, should speak volumes.
When I first began working for and taking care of Mrs. Shayes, I noticed that the family members would talk such trash about the last health care worker who took care of her before I came into the picture. Yet they put me on a pedestal because I did my job and was dedicated to my client and her needs.  Although, I saw this as a waving red flag that made me suspicious and leery of these people, I continued to do my job, showing up every morning, doing what I needed to do to ensure Mrs. Shayes’ needs were being met.
She lived in a house with 6 healthy adults (2 of them free loaders with no job) and 2 babies living there. The place was so filthy, it looked like a hog pin. Some mornings, I would arrive to see a dirty diaper or two lying in the dinner table- seriously! A dirty, poopy diaper! On the kitchen table! Where people eat!
When I went to do Mrs. Shayes’ laundry, I would go into the laundry room and have to wade through two feet of wall-to-wall dirty and smelly clothes to get to the washer and dryer. The living room and hallway floors were also spotted with dog and cat pee/poop and the stench was enough to make you gag!
It was disgusting- so disgusting that flies and gnats were buzzing everywhere and the whole house reeked of rotten food and pet urine and feces! In short, the place was a real sh*thole! These people were nasty!
Poor Mrs. Shayes and two toddlers had to live in this! It just goes to show what pigs her family were. And I know I shouldn’t say these things, but these people definitely shouldn’t be allowed to have children or a helpless elderly woman in their care. Because, I kid you not, these people lived live cockroaches.
I say cockroaches because animals lived better than this.
On a regular basis, I would personally witness them yell and curse Mrs. Shayes and it would absolutely infuriate me to no end. To verbally abuse an elderly and disabled family member is about as low as you can go.
Words just aren’t enough to describe what rotten maggot ridden garbage I had to work around and I feared for this lady. When I informed the company after work, they informed me that they had contacted the state and an ombudsman on numerous occasions.
This family was so dysfunctional that they would even curse each other out and get into fights and screaming matches. I don’t know why I continued to work in that kind of environment because, in the back of my mind, I knew that it was a matter of time before they would come for me.
And sure enough, they did.
The company I worked for had it set up that each morning I arrived, I had to call in from one of the family member’s cellphones and report that I’d arrived at the client’s residence to start my shift. Everyone in the family were night owls so they often slept until 1 and sometimes 2pm. So, I had to wake one of them up in order to use a cellphone to call in.
When I woke the 21 year old grandson to use his phone, he shouted at me and threw the phone at me because I’d awakened him. Mind you, I didn’t know that this grandson was doing weekends in the county jail for a robbery he had committed. And he’d been out during the week to work as a roofer.
Later that day, I called somewhat of a meeting with the family and attempted to resolve the problem by asking if someone could leave their phone sitting in the kitchen where I could call in without waking one of them up and that’s when Mrs. Shayes, granddaughter’s boyfriend, who lived with them at the time, blew up and approached me like he was going to physically attack me.
Talk about a house full of wolves! I demanded in a stern voice that he ‘get away from me, now!’ But he kept inching his way closer. That’s when I was done. No way was I going to be abused and talked down to by these lowlifes. I immediately called the company from my cellphone and told them that I was leaving, that these people were batshit crazy, and I never wanted to work at this residence again.
So I “fired” them! It was good riddance to bad rubbish. And when I walked away from these people, my company understood because, as I said before, I had been the ninth worker they’d sent to the residence. Therefore, they didn’t terminate me. They’d just gotten a new client and they sent me there minutes after I left “the wolves den.”
But the sad thing is that in abusing their loved one’s health aid, they made it difficult for Mrs. Hayes to keep good workers to take care of her. So, I believe that she was the one who suffered the most from this.
God opened an even bigger and better door for me! I had the good sense and courage to walk away and got a better client, so I ended up winning. Yay me! Just say no to drama!
From what I was told later, the state continued to investigate these people. I don’t know what came of Mrs. Shayes but I can only hope and pray that the state removed her from the home and placed her in a clean environment with caring people where she could be safe and live out her golden years in peace…”
I feel for Shelly, but even more, I feel for the lady who lived under such conditions and, like Shelly, who obviously hated to leave because she felt as if she was leaving her client to be abused, I hope the lady ended up in a more wholesome environment.
And I’m proud of Shelly for putting her safety first and escaping such a toxic family. Know that home healthcare workers do a thankless job and they’re often the objects of bullying either by the client, or their families. And most often, it is the families of the clients who abuse these workers and I would advice any home health aid never to be afraid to walk out if these conditions arrive.
Shelly was lucky in that she had the support of the company she worked for. In most cases, however, most companies will side with the abusers. And, if that’s the case, than these companies do not deserve to have such dedicated workers under their employ.
With knowledge comes empowerment!

So, You’ve Left a Toxic Workplace. What Do You Do Now?

You’ve worked for a toxic company for three years. You’re out of a job because your bully boss either fired you or you get fed up, pulled a Johnny Paycheck, and told your tyrant boss to “take this job and shove it” and, in essence, fired him.

So, how do you get a new job, knowing that the honest thing to do is to put the hell-hole you just escaped from down as a previous employer and your former boss’s name on the line in the application that’s labeled “supervisor”?

Well, let’s be real here. Sometimes honesty’s not the best policy. After all, you and your family have to eat. Right?

So, if you’re the unethical type, here are a few underhanded things you could do. Because unethical or not, you have to survive somehow.

bye goodbye

1. Omit the workplace altogether. Yeah, it sucks. It’s not ‘the right thing to do,’ but what else do you have to lose? If you’re a married mother or grandmother, all the better. Just fill in the blanks with a homemaker and stay-at-home mom. Who’s going to question that? Yeah, you could hit a roadblock when the interviewer asks you about any experience! But again, they might give you a try! You never know! The object is to avoid a crappy report from your former boss.

2. Go to work for the competition. There’s less chance a competitor will take the word of their opponent. Also, you can sneakily give secrets away and help your new employer drive the other guy out of business. At least you’ll get a little justice!

3. Tell your new employer you were self-employed. If you were your own boss, who are they going to call for a work reference? Tell a good story, and make sure you have a good backup. Maybe you had an excellent blog and it got shut down by Google because Google made changes to its policies?

workplace bullies back stabbers gossips

back-stabbing colleagues threatening employee with scissors and knife

4. If you have a family member or friend who owns a business, have them be a job reference for you. They can give you a good report, and your chances of getting the gig will be higher.

Hey, desperate times, desperate measures. And if you want to work again, you must get around the bully boss any way you can.

Sometimes you must get as dirty as your BB because he will be waiting on a call from a potential employer once you’re gone. Your old bully will be looking for another chance to block you from future prospects. He may even try to blacklist you.

If you disappear from his radar by omitting him and his company from any job applications, it will be harder for him to reach out and touch you.

bullying boss

Strict Boss: Angry upset young business woman with blank speech bubble on white on gray background. Vector illustration.

5. Hire yourself. Yes. If you can, start your own business and work like the devil to build it. Then, if you’re lucky, five years from now, when you run into your old dictator at the local gas station while he’s putting gas in his suped-up Harley or sportscar, you can thank him for inspiring you to go into business for yourself and make it. And you can smile as you watch his face contort!

There’s no guarantee that the first four are going to work and you might even get fired from your new job if your old bully boss finds out where you’re working and decides to give your new employer a call.

But at least you will have bought yourself some time and put off going broke for a little while longer.

*Tips 1, 3, and 4 are satirical of course*