Why Targets of Bullying Should be Proactive in Preserving Their Personhood

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Being bullied and being stuck with unnecessary labels can very easily cause a person to self-doubt. Not only does it cause one not to believe in his/herself and in one’s own abilities, but it can also enable that person to trust their own innate intuition if they let it. It blinds the target to people who are true as it completely zaps his/her senses of who is for real and who is fake, thus causing the loss of the ability to avoid dangerous people.

Bullying is a form of brainwashing. It is repeated, repetitious, and occurs over a long period of time. It reprograms the victim’s mind and convinces the person that he/she is nothing, blinding him to his own worth as a person, to her own inner and outer beauty, and to her own intelligence. The target comes to that dreadful place where she doesn’t trust her own ability to make good decisions. He fears that anything he does and/or says will be wrong. Therefore, he keeps his talents and gifts hidden from the world for fear of ridicule.

Self-doubt keeps the target paralyzed and they hide their true, awesome self. By trying to hide their authenticity from others for fear of negative judgment, victims unwittingly dumb themselves down and make foolish decisions.

Targets must avoid this at all costs.

Never lose yourself because of a bully. No matter how others may treat you, always take steps to keep your authenticity. If you have any talents or gifts, display them with pride. Do things that you enjoy and spend extra time with those who love you and lift you up. You will be surprised at how great you will feel about yourself. Therefore, bullying will have less of an impact on your self-esteem.

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Writing with Feeling

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Anytime I write a novel, I make sure to write with feeling. What does this mean? It means getting into the minds of my characters; imagining what it would be like to be in their situations and under their circumstances, putting myself in my characters’ shoes. It means feeling their emotions, imagining their thoughts and reactions and seeing every detail through their eyes because if the author feels his/her characters’ emotions (happiness, anger, sadness, pain, excitement, etc.), the reader is likely to feel them too.

Expressing a characters’ emotions isn’t about just writing,

“So-and-so felt angry when she discovered that her husband of twenty years was cheating on her.”.

No. What it means is describing the jilted wife in terms such as,

“So-and-so’s eyes widened and she took two steps back when she discovered the red, thonged panties hidden in the top drawer of the nightstand on her husband’s side of the bed. Her cheeks flushed, her breath quickened and she begin trembling because she knew the panties did not belong to her! After twenty years of faithfulness, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of children, this was the thanks she received!”

For me, writing with feeling requires great detail and innuendo. It requires leading the reader on. It is a way of ensuring that the reader can relate to the characters and if the reader can somehow relate to the character, especially the protagonist, the more likely they are more likely to like the character(s)and crave more!

Isn’t this what all authors strive for?

Kathy Noll “Taking the Bully by The Horns”

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Good news for victims and survivors of bullying! Resources to help people who are bullied are everywhere today. I recently spoke with Kathy Noll, an author of “Taking the Bully by The Horns. Since the 1990’s she has worked tirelessly to reach out to young people whom are bullied. I very much admire her work.
Congratulations, Kathy!
Keep up the great work!

Here is a list of her awards and accolades!

1996-Present: In recognition of successful completion of the requisite Course of Study “Writing for Children and Teenagers” and on nomination by its faculty, Kathy Noll was awarded a diploma from the Institute of Children’s Literature where she studied for two years. She also received an award through the Writers’ International Forum for her work. Her short stories and articles have been published in magazines along with interviews.

She recently was awarded with the title of “Woman of the Year” from Glamour Magazine for “Changing a Child’s World for the Better.” She also received Toyota’s “Moving Forward” award. And in 2007, she was honored with commendations from The State Senator’s Office, The Mayor’s Office, and the Council of the City of Reading. In addition, Kathy received her school’s “Most Distinguished Alumni” award.

NBC news has worked with Kathy to monitor classrooms in Philadelphia for bullying behavior. She also has directly helped many children with their personal bullying issues through her books, online counseling, research, educational and family-related Internet chats, message board hosting, and website.

Kathy has spoken on numerous Radio and Television Shows discussing the topics of Bullying, School Violence, and Self-esteem. She also works as a consultant for various TV News & Talk Shows, and was recently asked to be the expert testimony for a new children’s literature infomercial through Buena Vista (Disney).

Writing “Taking the Bully by the Horns” has generated many letters of thanks from both adults and children. Students frequently ask permission to use her research-based information for their projects.

She has excelled in publishing and marketing her books–reaching people all over the globe–educating, inspiring, and empowering them. She has networked with many organizations, schools, anti-violence agencies, mental health professionals, anti-bullying advocates, and child educators both Nationally and Internationally.

“Taking the Bully by the Horns” has also been published in Croatia. The Ministry of Education placed the book in schools all over the country and is having great success with it.

Following up on the success of “Taking the Bully by the Horns,” a much-requested Bullying Workbook has been created by Kathy — “The EDA Workbook” — and she also recently collaborated on a new book for adults on Adult Bullies and Bullying in the Work Place entitled “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life.”

http://www.kathynoll.com

Introducing Al Johnson from “Bullies Be Gone!”

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YOU’RE THE WEAK ONE

You’re the weak one, you’re a bully.
The weak one is definitely not me.
The bully is always the weak one, but your weakness, you can’t seem to clearly see. So, I’m going to try and shed a little light on your weak and inappropriate ways. Your weakness began on your very first bullying day.
Your false sense of power is not strength at all; it’s a cry for help desperately trying to break through.
I actually feel a little sorry for you.
Weak bullies like you always seek to find other kids they can dominate.
Bullies do this with vicious words, distasteful actions, and misguided hate.
Is being a weak bully the banner you want to carry for the rest of your life?
Get rid of the bully banner forever; create one that shows respect, understanding, and tolerance for others, and always proudly hold that one very high.

By Al Johnson,
Bullies Be Gone!

http://www.antibullyingexpert.com

The 2018 Author Interview Series Featuring Tina Frisco

Author Don Massenzio

It’s time for the next subject for my 2018 author interview series. Author interviews are posted every Friday throughout the year.

I am honored to continue this series with California author and blogger Tina Frisco.

You can catch up with all of my past author interviews (nearly 200) on my Author Directory page.

If you’re an author interested in being interviewed in this series, I still have limited spots available for 2018. You can email me at don@donmassenzio.com

Now, please enjoy this interview with Tina Frisco:


Tina 4aDo you try more to be original or to deliver to readers what they want?

I aim to do both, because both are needed for books to sell. But I won’t compromise originality, so at times it becomes a bit of a juggling act. I write because I enjoy it and am compelled to so. Writing is my life’s blood. And like most writers…

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Being Bullied Has a Way of Sharpening Your BS Detector!

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If you were ever a victim of bullying, it more than likely did the same for you. This is not to say that abuse of any form is a good thing because no one should ever be bullied…EVER! However, though painful and humiliating when it was happening, having been bullied has had its positive takeaways, one of which is my fine-tuned ability to smell bulls*** from a mile away.

Judging from my own experience and having heard stories of others whom have endured the same, being a target of bullies has a way of giving you an almost psychic ability to see through people and detect true motives and intentions.

It gave me the ability to observe a large group of people, then spot and pick out the fakes and troublemakers at lightning speed and with complete accuracy. I don’t have to speak a word to anyone, only stand back and watch.

Just as a person who loses his sight experiences a much keener sense of hearing, a victim of bullying quickly grows the ability to read people like a newspaper. Why? Out of sheer necessity. Many survivors are able to read body language like an FBI agent, deciphering the tiniest of micro-expressions. In fact, one can even pick up on the vibes others put out…especially negative ones.

When any certain skill is mandatory for your survival, nature gives you no choice but to quickly hon that skill and use it to near perfection.
I consider this sixth sense to be a gift. However, this gift came at a heavy price.

ABOUT TSRA

via ABOUT TSRA

For those of you who love to write or are readers who are looking for fresh new stories, I recommend following Chris Graham’s “The Story Reading Ape”. This is an awesome website and blog which hosts new guest authors and their books and novels. He also includes insightful information about how to become an even better writer/author and the best magazines and companies to which to submit your articles and short stories.

I’m very happy to have found Chris’ site and I can guarantee that you will be also!

https://thestoryreadingapeblog.com

Where to Submit Short Stories: 23 Magazines and Websites That Want Your Work – by Kelly Gurnett…

For writers who have considered flash fiction and short stories.

Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog

On The Write Life site:

Not sure where to send those great short stories you’ve written?

As with writing contests and fellowships, sometimes it can be hard to know where to begin. To help you figure out where to submit short stories, we’ve put together this guide to 23 publications that publish short fiction. The list includes a mix of publications across various genres and styles, ranging from prestigious, highly competitive options to those specifically seeking new and emerging voices.

While we’ll give you a brief idea of the flavor of each magazine and site, you’ll definitely want to spend some time reading your target publications before submitting to become familiar with the sort of pieces they prefer. And before hitting “send,” make sure you’re not making any of these submission mistakes!

Ready to get started?

Here are 23 outlets that publish short stories

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Gaslighting at work

This is is about gaslighting and is worth the read. Although it happens in the workplace, it can also happen in schools. As we know school bullies often gaslight their victims to make them look crazy and to avoid accountability. Gaslighting is a type of manipulation to make the target of bullying doubt their own sanity or feel/seem crazy.

Minding the Workplace

Gaslighting is a form of deliberate manipulation intended to disorient, confuse, and frighten those on the receiving end. Many discussions about gaslighting occur in reference to personal relationships, often in the context of domestic or partner abuse. However, gaslighting can occur in other settings as well, including workplaces. In fact, I predict that we’ll be hearing a lot more about gaslighting at work during the years to come, and I’d like to survey that waterfront.

In her excellent book The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life, (2018 pb ed. with rev. intro), Dr. Robin Stern defines gaslighting as:

a type of emotional manipulation in which a gaslighter tries to convince you that you’re misremembering, misunderstanding, or misinterpreting your own behavior or motivations, thus creating doubt in your mind that leaves you vulnerable and confused. Gaslighters might be men or women…

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