Narcissistic Bullies – Just Give Them Plenty of Rope

Narcissistic bullies are such good actors, aren’t they? They’re good at going undetected, flying under the radar, and making themselves out to be better than what they are while making you look like the fool or the bad guy. But the good news is that sooner or later, people such as these usually wind up telling off on themselves somehow, someway, without even realizing it until it’s too late and the cat’s already out of the bag.

I’ve seen it happen before too many times when narcissistic bullies grew a little too confident. They got too sure of themselves, too loud, too obnoxious, too flippant, and then, they got stupid! They ended up unintentionally outing themselves!

Perhaps the narco didn’t realize a person in authority nearby when he got too loud and shot off his mouth. Or maybe she accidentally left a damning piece of evidence lying about and didn’t cover her tracks as well as she could have. Then again, perhaps the Narc-bully wove such a big web of lies and finally got tangled in it, or pushed things a little too far and made people not want to be around them. Either way, in the end, the narcopath stepped in it!

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Understand that these types are always pushing boundaries as far as they can. Give these people an inch, and they take a mile. But give them a mile, and they take ten. With a Narco, it’s never enough. Standing up to these idiots is useless because you’ll only arouse their narcissistic rage, and they’ll spend the rest of their natural lives hunting for you and trying to get back at you. With a narcissist, everything is tit for tat, and the fight soon becomes exhausting for the victim of such erratic behavior.

These people have a “Divine Right of Kings” mentality. So, don’t fight or try to get back at a narcissistic bully because, trust me, they’ll never stop. They’ll only keep coming after you. Instead, just sit back, let the narco rant and rave and act like you don’t care. While they shout, curse, and foam at the mouth, continue to rock it- grey rock it, that is! Go no contact if it’s possible because people like these are dangerous and can hurt you.

But rest assured that eventually, the narcissist bully will screw up, and karma will visit them. They may not learn their lesson and change (few narcs ever do), but they always get what they deserve in the end, especially when they get old.

I knew a young nurse who was a narcissist bully, even had the displeasure of working with her for a while. Eventually, she got caught stealing opiates from the nursing home, where she held Director of Nursing’s title. The nursing homeowners fired her, and soon after, the state revoked her license to practice as a nurse. After losing her nursing license, her husband divorced her. She then worked at one of the local cafés as a waitress before becoming ill and finally dying. Her whole life went down the crapper, and this woman had a sad and miserable ending.

I’ve even known a few elderly narcissists, and trust me. They live the most miserable and lonely existence of anyone I know. They’re the most bitter, angry, demanding, and ornery people you’ll ever meet. And why not? They’ve steamrolled others all their lives and now have no one to come for a visit nor to help them when they need it. And it’s sad!

People who know the person always make it a point to stay far away! And if by a minuscule chance some poor, unsuspecting sucker does come around, I can tell you that after spending enough time getting to know the person, they won’t be able to get out of there fast enough!

A selfish businessman clings to a balloon called the ego, and a big hand with a needle intends to burst it. Conceptual scene the higher you fly, the harder they fall

I know it seems that no one will hold these bullies responsible for their mean-spirited words or actions. I realize that narcissistic bullies have a talent for pouring on the charm and hoodwinking people into believing that they’re such good people. I understand that these types are so intimidating that they force people to take sides with them and give them what they want. And yes, I know that none of it is fair (and whoever said that life was?.

But rest assure. God doesn’t like ugly, and eventually, everything comes full circle. It may take a long time, but narcissist bullies always get back what they dish out in the end. Always remember that.

When a Target Ditches a Bully

I can tell you what happened when I deleted one of my former classmates. Before I go any further with my story, I’ll tell you this.

Nobody likes being rejected and dismissed – especially by someone they think is inferior to them. That’s a blow to the ego like one other!

When a bully gets dismissed by the victim, he thought for so long was too weak to stand up to him, oh my God! He. LOSES it! Why? Because in an instant, the victim finally stood his ground, he snatched his power back and left the bully powerless over him for once! Now the bully must go through the headache of finding a new target! Gasp!

This is precisely what happened with my old bully classmate when I unfriended her for a few offhand and snide comments she made on a few of my posts. She became furious! She couldn’t stand it! And I’ve got to tell you. I’m laughing as I’m typing this and thinking back about two years ago.

This half-crazed woman blew up my inbox. And with such vitriolic rage!

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Oh, my goodness! How dare I! The nerve! The audacity! The chutzpah of me! O-M-G! I’m such a fake! I’m such a pissy person who deleted her because I got called out! Oooooo! Poor baby! I’m such a weak little bitch who can’t take constructive criticism!

Those were her words before I laughed and pushed that little godsend of a block button. I would’ve pushed the button sooner, but to tell you the truth, I was getting a real kick out of her reaction, and I wanted to give her time to shoot herself in the foot. Sure enough, she did.

I took screenshots of her messages, one in which she repeatedly asked, “Why did you delete me?”, then plastered them all over the internet. The icing on the cake was that the other classmates saw the screenshots too and they were shocked.

Knowing she’d been punked before the eyes of some of her old high school buddies, this she-bully went even more berserk. And it was so fun to watch!

I kid you not. There wasn’t enough popcorn in the world!

You see, this woman thought that I was weak in high school and never bet on the possibility that I might have smartened up a little in the three decades since. So, I went ahead and let her assume what she wanted and trapped her with it.

I want you to know that standing up to and ditching a bully isn’t as hard as you think. It’s quite easy if you don’t let fear or any intense emotion get in your way. Remember that bullies get their power from getting you emotional. And when you finally come to a place where you’re no longer intimidated or angered by them, the better you’ll be able to use your head, find some leverage, and use it as a weapon.

You must understand that when bullies fly into a rage, they no longer have the ability to think clearly. You then have the opportunity to use it to your advantage and make them look like a complete doorknob.

Never Compliment a Bully. Ever!

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Trust me, bullies, especially the arrogant and puffed up type, get their boots licked enough.

They get false compliments and fake sympathy from their sycophants daily. How do you think they got so sickeningly full of themselves? Compliments should only be handed out only to people who deserve them.

I learned this the hard way when I was sixteen and a sophomore in high school.

I remember seeing a girl in the cafeteria at lunch, and she was wearing a lovely dress. Naturally, I told her that it was a beautiful dress and that I liked it. And I meant it from the bottom of my heart when I said it.

However, it only fueled her arrogance. She only sneered at me and said,

“I know. So what? Nobody likes you, and you think kissing up changes things?”

You can imagine how heartbroken I was.

Silhouette of a selfish and narcissistic man, he wears a crown, standing on a word, I'm number one

Although few things uplift a person like a sincere compliment, which comes from the heart, a bully will only take it as confirmation that they are better than you. A bully will also see it as the fulfillment of their expectation that you’re willing to suck up to them.

A compliment to a bully is nothing more than an ego boost and an opportunity to rake your dignity over the coals because they’re used to having the other classmates or coworkers bow down before them.

Instead, be the one who gives these life-suckers and happiness thieves a healthy dose of the real world. Be indifferent toward them- like you just don’t give a crap about them.

They may get angry because they may think people owe them allegiance, but you won’t give them the wrong impression, and you’ll walk away with your self-respect intact.

 

 

The Dirty Truth About Cliques and What They Don’t Want You to Know

Clique

People will establish a clique for the sole purpose of excluding others– and for no apparent reason. Cliques have only one goal, to make their members feel superior to others. Their criteria for “good enough” changes like the weather, and they have no special interests, causes, or abilities.

A clique will exclude someone for reasons as trivial as not wearing name-brand shoes. Tomorrow, the same person may wear name-brand shoes, but the members may exclude them because their hair is too straight or too curly.

You get the point. Cliques exclude people for no logical reason, which only brings me to conclude that their members do it strictly to get psychological benefits- to be mean and to feel like they’re better than someone.

I’m not talking about clubs. Clubs are different in that they promote an interest in a specific hobby or subject- The Math Club, The Music Club, etc. So, naturally, if you didn’t have an interest in Music, you wouldn’t be allowed to join the Music Club, which makes perfect sense.

However, cliques have no real purpose other than to stoke the overstuffed (or bruised) egos of their members. Nothing more. Cliques have no substance behind them. They’re a farce, all about appearances- a mirage.

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I want you to realize that anyone who has to establish or join a clique to feel good about themselves obviously doesn’t have much else going for them.

Bullies belong to cliques, always. And they will look for any excuse to attack those on the outside. They then use differences to justify themselves. They must make someone feel bad in order to make themselves feel good.

Sadly, they don’t realize that they only forfeit their chances of meeting people who could be interesting and be great additions to their existences.

If you’ve been rejected by a clique, don’t feel bad. Instead, ask yourself these questions.

Are those frauds even worth knowing?
Are they even on my level?
Would they benefit my life in any way?
Am I missing anything?

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Understand that, besides the ability to feel better than or superior to others, cliques have no real benefits. They are the same boring people, having the same boring conversations and living the same lackluster lives.

And if being a part of the clique is the only way it’s members can have any excitement in their lives, then wow! They are some miserable souls and you should have pity on them.

Cliques only restrict their members from talking to anyone on the outside and take away the possibility of meeting someone who would make a positive difference in our lives and could actually teach them something.

So, seriously! Who’s missing out here? You or them?

Bullies with Social Capital- Why They’re The Most Destructive and What You Can Do to Minimize The Damage They Do

Social Capital

These are the bullies with the most social connections and friends in high places- the bullies well thought of (or well-feared) by a vast majority in a school, workplace, neighborhood, or community. They can be the “cool kids” at school or the “Good Ol’ Boy” clique at work or in town. These bullies can also be local politicians and businessmen or members of certain well-known families in a particular area.

Although money does help, these people don’t necessarily have to be rich to have these connections. I’ve known people who were quite poor who had these types of relationships as well. What gives them the power they have is their connections with the right people, which is why bullies in these select groups are especially dangerous and can do the most damage to a target.

These types of bullies proactively build a network of social relationships to re-enforce their power and get protections from any accountability for wrongdoing. In many cases, they already have close and well-established ties, which go back several years.

These relationships ensure that the bullies are well-protected and above reproach. Worst of all, they give them the liberty to ride roughshod over anyone freely and with impunity. These are the types who will watch you closely.

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These bullies know they have good name recognition and they take advantage of it. Any time a bully has a ton of social capital, others will not risk alienating them for fear of being the next target. And chances are that if they target you, their followers, who are secondary bullies, will only follow their lead.

In short, bullies can weaponize their connections and popularity!

This is why the most popular and well-connected bullies get away with deplorable behavior and can do anything they want to anyone. And they will take full advantage. If you become a target of one of these people, they will use their connections and influence to destroy every aspect of your life. Also, they’ll never stop coming after you.

Understand that these bullies are very influential, persuasive, and, most of all, convincing. Their names alone carry much weight behind them. They have trust, mutual understanding, and shared values and behaviors which promote unity and strengthen their group. When one of these people says something, others, even those outside their circle of connections, are more likely to listen attentively and take their word as fact!

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I call these people “sacred cows” because they have such power and influence in a school, corporation, or community that they’re perceived as not to be questioned nor spoken against, even if they’re in the wrong.

With sacred cows, people may not necessarily like them, they may even hate them, but you can be sure that they fear them. So, even haters are careful not to speak against them publicly or within earshot of the wrong people.

With that said, if you’re a target of bullies who have social capital, know that they can make your life hell. They can tarnish your name with smear campaigns, and others will believe it simply because of who the rumors and lies come from. They can also cause the loss of your job and blacklist you, robbing you of any opportunity to find other means of employment.

These people can destroy your ability to make new friends because others will be too afraid to associate with you. If you own a business, they can either discourage customers from giving you their business or have their worker bees to set fire to and burn down your business altogether. And don’t put it past these bullies to trump up false criminal charges against you, set you up to be arrested, or send henchmen to either visit you or meet you on the street somewhere.

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Your self-esteem can also take a harder hit because of the popularity of these bullies, and you’re likely to be paralyzed with fear, especially if you’re a kid in school.

But here are a few things you can do to lessen the trauma these powerful bullies can cause and to build your own social capital.

1. Befriend and align yourself with other targets because you can be sure that you aren’t the only one these bullies torment.

2. If you can find people who were once a part of the bullies’ circle but whom the bullies ousted for whatever reason, that’s even better! These people would be the ones who have private and sensitive info about each of the bullies and their sycophants. They’ll more than likely be looking for a little payback and only too happy to give you the deets!

3. Establish tight connections with your fellow targets, and with the former members whom the bullies booted out of the “social club” or double-crossed. Band together with them because nothing unites people like the shared anger and hatred toward an enemy.

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4. Pal around with, eat lunch with or eat out with them. Be sure you’re seen with these targets and outcasts and with as many of them as possible. This will provide you with a little protection!

5. The more targets and outcasts you connect and bond with, the better!

6. Important!!! Always have their backs and make sure they have yours!

7. Make friends, take jobs, and seize opportunities that are outside the bullies’ element. If need be and all else fails, move to a new area.

8. Tell no one of your plans, where your new job is, your address, or where you’re moving to. Sometimes, it’s just best to vanish!

Do these things and you’ll be much safer!