Why Distraction is One of The Bully’s Most Powerful Weapons

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“The essence of deception is distraction.” – Robert Greene

The bully uses distraction, often called deflection, when they use the target’s imperfections to distract other people’s attention away from their own shortcomings. It is the reason that so many people in authority, bystanders, and witnesses unjustly label targets as bullies and troublemakers.

Because bullies are highly skilled at deflecting their misdeeds onto others, people will falsely accuse innocent victims of being the instigators of arguments or fights, and perpetrators of bullying behaviors.

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Here’s how the bully does it:

He extends acts of kindness and shows honesty in front of everyoneeveryone except his victim. He does this to charm and disarm authority and potential bystanders and witnesses. The bully fools them all into believing that he’s such a fine young man and would never mistreat another person. And he ultimately wins everyone else over to his side.

What this elaborate display of (false) kindness and authenticity does is soften everyone outside the bully/victim relationship and turn them into allies. People hungrily eat up any affection the bully extends to them. She (the bully) then sweetens the deal by inviting them out to do lunch or to hang out.

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But understand that she only pours on the pleasantries and charm to everyone else to trick them into feeling obligated in the event she must ask them to do some dirty work for her against her victim.

If you’re a victim of this type of bullying, I want you to know that your bullies don’t do this because they just happen to like everyone else but you, they do it for the sole purpose of gaining favor and loyalty from them! Realize that the bullies only see everyone else as tools and worker bees.

Have you noticed how most bullies suck up to teachers and managers?

The bully will then slyly bait her victim by pushing their hot buttons and triggering them into an emotional reaction. And she will make sure that everyone is around to see the victim’s breakdown or outburst.

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He will also accuse the victim of the same behaviors that he’s guilty of or of having the same flaws he has.

But understand that this is all part of the distraction. The bully aims to give others the illusion that you are the bully and he is the victim.

Remember that most bullies can be very alluring and they’re good at this game. You must know the tactics in detail, so you can call them out to protect yourself from being abused and blamed, then ultimately labeled.

Find Your Bullies’ Triggers and Use Them

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Here’s how you expose the bullies for the brutes they are. Use their own tactics against them! How you do this is to find what triggers their emotions, then use it to your advantage.

And why not? They’ve been doing the same to you for a long time now, haven’t they? As much as I hate to say it, sometimes you must play the bully’s game if you expect to survive. And I know it’s not a pleasant place to be. It sucks! But sometimes, you must wade through crap to come out clean on the other side.

Here’s how you do it!

1. Get the bully in public – in front of coworkers and supervisors, or classmates and teachers. Then very sneakily do something you know will trigger them. Bait them into a reaction, then stand back and watch with pleasure as the bully yells, screams, curses, and exposes themselves in front of everyone.

If you live in a one-party consent jurisdiction, record the outburst, and if you’re sure it’s safe, blast it all over social media.

2. Befriend others the bully has bullied (preferably people who’ve been fired or no longer have any contact with the bully). Then have them spread it all over social media. Give the bully the reputation they so deserve.

Exposure is the best way to conquer bullies! So, out them! Better yet, trick them into outing themselves!

Learn to Bait and Trigger Your Bullies

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This may be scary to do but trust me. Get your bullies angry enough at you and they will come to you. Play on the natural human tendency to react out of anger when pushed or baited. Get your bullies to reach to your moves. Make them pursue you because they only expend their own energy by chasing you. An added benefit to this is that it forces the bullies to act on your terms.

Also, when you trick them into pursuing you, you automatically fool them into thinking that they’re controlling the situation.

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However, there’s one requirement for this to work:

You must remain calm. Calmness always equals the ability to think more clearly. Emotions, on the other hand, block your ability to think and strategize effectively.

When you do get your bullies to come for you, always get them either on your territory. If you cannot get them into your element, then choose neutral ground. Never meet bullies on their turf! It’s much too dangerous.

If you can get your bullies on your territory, you’ll keep your bearings while the bullies will be on the defensive because they’ll be on unfamiliar ground. They won’t feel you pulling their invisible strings.

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Make your bait so sweet that your bullies can’t refuse. Use yourself as bait if necessary, especially if they’re so POed at you that they can’t see past their desire to “get you.” Their intense rage will blind them to reality and they’ll be more than happy to come to where you are.

The angrier they are, the more desperate they’ll be to get back at you and the easier they’ll be for you to lead them by the nose right into the trap that you’ve prepared for them.

And if you can get your bullies to dig their own graves, why worry?

The Three ‘B’s of Bullying: Baiting, Bashing and Blaming

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Baiting
First a bully slyly baits her intended victim by provoking her for a reaction. If the victim blows it off and fails to react, the bully meticulously and subtly intensifies the taunts over time, wearing her down until achieving the desired reaction, often making sure that bystanders and authority are present. A bully is very much aware that everyone has their breaking point.

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Bashing
Once the target reaches his limit and reacts (yelling, telling the bully off, cursing the bully out, punching the bully in the face, etc.), the bully weasels his way into the hearts of bystanders and authority, using superficial charm and charisma to feign victimhood.

He bashes the victim by using the perfectly normal reaction as proof of the victim’s “mental illness” or “meanness”, making it look as though the victim is at fault, to distract others from the bully’s own evil actions and project guilt onto the victim.

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Blaming
Once the bully has succeeded in turning everyone against the victim, she entices others to join her in shaming the target. Everyone may gang up on the victim, making statements such as, “Aww! You just need to toughen up!” or “Can’t you take a joke?”.

The victim may be accused of “bringing it all on herself” when in reality, the opposite is true- it is the victim who has been harassed for months, even years while having tried to handle the abuse calmly and objectively, only to succumb to exhaustion and reach her limit.

Moreover, when the victim reports the abuse, the guilt is placed on the victim and the bully goes unpunished, taking the impunity as a green light for future torment. All the while, the victim is seen in a very negative light, with no other choice but to endure the torment in silence to keep from further tarnishing her already damaged reputation.

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Each time a report is made, others who are often in a position to help, blow the victim off, thinking that the torment is justified. The bully then becomes more emboldened and the victim becomes more devastated and damaged.

The more brazen the bully becomes, the higher the degree to which the harassment escalates and the more frequent and intense the attacks become until the victim is maimed, is killed, is removed, transfers schools to escape the torment or commits suicide.

The bully benefits from the feeling of power and control she gets from mistreating her victim and getting away with it, having a sense that she is invincible and untouchable. The bully also enjoys the sympathy and petting received from others.

This strategy is also used as a means of striking fear into and silencing the victim, discouraging any future attempts at speaking out and exposing the bully for what she truly is…a cowardly, sniveling piece of human filth.

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If you are a victim of bullying, you already know too well how it feels to be mistreated and then blamed for your own torment. It’s horrible enough to be constantly harassed, but to be blamed for that harassment is downright devastating and leaves you feeling completely powerless!

Understand that this is just another weapon the bully uses and how he/she is allowed to continue their bad behavior with impunity. And it is nothing new! Bullies have always used this method.

So, remember the 3 ‘B’s- Bait, Bash and Blame and I believe that you will be better able to explain your situation when you report the harassment.