Why Bullies “Need” Their Targets

It’s because bullies need scapegoats. The use of a scapegoat is nothing new. People have used them for many millennia! During the Medieval Period, scapegoats were often used by kings to make sure the monarch’s hands stayed clean- or at least looked clean.

Back then, it was common practice to execute scapegoats for the wrongdoings of kings. Blaming them, then putting them to death kept the scapegoats quiet and the kings above reproach, unquestioned, and smelling like roses. Bullies do the same today, only in different ways.

Bullying and scapegoating go hand in hand.

The purpose of scapegoating is to force another person to accept blame for sins, which you, yourself, are guilty. Sadly, the person blamed is often innocent. Even sadder is the fact that he’s usually the one least likely to fight back. The person is then punished and sacrificed.

Bullies are notorious for refusing to accept blame for any wrongdoing or mistake. So, they search for the most convenient person to lay blame on- their target. And what’s the victim going to do about it?

The ability to transfer guilt to their victims gives bullies immense power. Understand that bullies depend on appearances to maintain their fake facades of gleaming-white perfection. Well-seasoned bullies must appear to be god-like at all times.

They’re very much afraid that if they don’t keep up this pathetic charade, they’ll lose their power and with it, the foothold on their targets. What better way to maintain that power than to scapegoat the target?

“Blame so-and-so for my shortcomings by pointing out his!”

“Blame so-and-so for my imperfections by distracting others’ attention to his!”

“Blame so-and-so for my despicable behavior by claiming he did something to deserve it!”

“Blame Joe Blow for my pathetic incompetence and stupidity by saying that he caused me to screw up!”

“Blame so-and-so for any tiny thing that goes wrong, and I get to hitch a ride on his back to move up!”

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“Because I’m number one, and Hell will freeze over before I give that up! And blaming so-and-so is so easy it shouldn’t work!”

I want you to realize that bullies, bystanders, and friends will scapegoat a target of bullying for one reason and one reason only: He has the least power to fight back!

Targets are often either naïve or exceptionally intelligent and pose the biggest threat to the bullies’ positions. If the victim is naïve, bullies will exploit his naivete to the fullest because they know that naïve people aren’t taken seriously. Also, the naïve tend to overdo their claims of innocence. And people often mistake it as a sign of guilt.

Intelligent targets, bullies will undermine and wear down with constant smear campaigns, exclusion, and personal attacks. Also, smart victims will often overdo being calm, and relaxed, which can also be mistaken for guilt, because people will assume that his keeping it together is only an act and that he’s hiding something.

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Here’s another reason bullies need targets. They need someone to make responsible for their negative feelings- feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and hurt. And when they make the victim responsible for their bad feelings, the target becomes the offender who must be punished and eliminated.

To combat their negative emotions, bullies demand that their targets show them respect at all times- even while they’re abusing them. They also have the attitude that the victim should do whatever they tell them to do and make them feel powerful.

In short, bullies need the target to use as a dumping ground for all their mental and emotional issues.

Here’s a third reason, bullies and bystanders need a bottom rat to ensure that they themselves don’t end up on the bottom. If you’re a target of bullying, they need you to stay on the bottom and will go out of their way to keep you there. Any pecking order needs whipping boys (or girls) – easy victories for the higher-ups to collect.

If you are a target of bullying, I want you to understand that bullies consider it to be of the utmost importance that you stay on the bottom and you make them look good and like the innocent party. When they brutalize you, everything must appear as if you had it coming – that they were wronged or betrayed by your stupidity, incompetence, or evil.

If people are using you as a scapegoat, the best you can do is to get out of the environment. Just pick up and leave. Only then will you be able to preserve your dignity, your sanity, and your life.

What is a Crybully?

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A new term has emerged in the last few months to describe the pathetic type of person who doesn’t mind dishing out the crap but can’t handle it when it gets kicked back their way. Everyone has heard of the crybaby. But! We also have the crybully.

So, what is a crybully?

A crybully is a bully who’s also a crybaby, who runs to authority and “cries like a little bitch” whenever targets stand up to them.

The crybully repeatedly provokes a target for an extended period of time. The target first tries to ignore her to avoid conflict and keep down the drama. Of course, this only serves to encourage the crybully to continue and escalate the behavior because she comes to believe that the target is a wimp who won’t do anything about it and that she can continue to bully and get away with it.

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Then, when the target finally gets fed up and responds in kind, the crybully suddenly gets their wittle feewings hurt and feels indignant. To get back at the target for daring to stand up to her, the crybully runs to a teacher, principal, supervisor or manager.

She tattles on the target like the schoolyard sissy she is, feigning victimhood and painting the target as the bully. The target then gets the blame and is disciplined.

The crybully then basks in the attention as others give her a pat on the head and lavish her with sympathy. All the while, the crybully is also gratified by the blame the target is getting and feeling a huge sense of power.

Crybullies will also disparage the target to peers in efforts to smear her and trash her reputation. Understand that crybullies are everywhere and they’re vindictive!

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But understand that this kind of behavior only speaks volumes of these types of bullies. It says that they’re not only cowards but entitled little brats who think they should be allowed to treat others any way they want without repercussions. And it is these people who are truly pathetic.

And you should be proud of yourself and feel good in knowing that you don’t have to resort to these shenanigans. And in situations such as these, these types of bullies should be the subject of your ridicule.

Because ridicule and shame will be the only way to make these bullies leave you alone.

The Three ‘B’s of Bullying: Baiting, Bashing and Blaming

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Baiting
First a bully slyly baits her intended victim by provoking her for a reaction. If the victim blows it off and fails to react, the bully meticulously and subtly intensifies the taunts over time, wearing her down until achieving the desired reaction, often making sure that bystanders and authority are present. A bully is very much aware that everyone has their breaking point.

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Bashing
Once the target reaches his limit and reacts (yelling, telling the bully off, cursing the bully out, punching the bully in the face, etc.), the bully weasels his way into the hearts of bystanders and authority, using superficial charm and charisma to feign victimhood.

He bashes the victim by using the perfectly normal reaction as proof of the victim’s “mental illness” or “meanness”, making it look as though the victim is at fault, to distract others from the bully’s own evil actions and project guilt onto the victim.

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Blaming
Once the bully has succeeded in turning everyone against the victim, she entices others to join her in shaming the target. Everyone may gang up on the victim, making statements such as, “Aww! You just need to toughen up!” or “Can’t you take a joke?”.

The victim may be accused of “bringing it all on herself” when in reality, the opposite is true- it is the victim who has been harassed for months, even years while having tried to handle the abuse calmly and objectively, only to succumb to exhaustion and reach her limit.

Moreover, when the victim reports the abuse, the guilt is placed on the victim and the bully goes unpunished, taking the impunity as a green light for future torment. All the while, the victim is seen in a very negative light, with no other choice but to endure the torment in silence to keep from further tarnishing her already damaged reputation.

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Each time a report is made, others who are often in a position to help, blow the victim off, thinking that the torment is justified. The bully then becomes more emboldened and the victim becomes more devastated and damaged.

The more brazen the bully becomes, the higher the degree to which the harassment escalates and the more frequent and intense the attacks become until the victim is maimed, is killed, is removed, transfers schools to escape the torment or commits suicide.

The bully benefits from the feeling of power and control she gets from mistreating her victim and getting away with it, having a sense that she is invincible and untouchable. The bully also enjoys the sympathy and petting received from others.

This strategy is also used as a means of striking fear into and silencing the victim, discouraging any future attempts at speaking out and exposing the bully for what she truly is…a cowardly, sniveling piece of human filth.

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If you are a victim of bullying, you already know too well how it feels to be mistreated and then blamed for your own torment. It’s horrible enough to be constantly harassed, but to be blamed for that harassment is downright devastating and leaves you feeling completely powerless!

Understand that this is just another weapon the bully uses and how he/she is allowed to continue their bad behavior with impunity. And it is nothing new! Bullies have always used this method.

So, remember the 3 ‘B’s- Bait, Bash and Blame and I believe that you will be better able to explain your situation when you report the harassment.