Bullied Boys and Bullied Girls

I’m female and have discussed bullying mainly from a female perspective. However, I would like to help you distinguish between the plights of bullied girls and bullied boys. ‘Wishing everyone peace, health, love, and happiness!

In the female target case, after her peers have bullied her for so long, she feels alone in the world. Also, when she reports the bullying only for others to rebuff her, the girl feels that no one cares. It’s bad enough when school staff ignore her pleas, but when members of her own family, refuse to listen to her, it’s twice as painful. And it’s even worse than that when they blame her.

What Bullied Girls Experience

Bullies shame female targets for their looks, femininity, and virtues. They call these poor young ladies names like “hoe,””whore,” “slut”, and other names that attack her as a woman. People will use their weight and their appearance as a weapon to cause harm. Even sadder is the reality that if their self-esteem is low enough, some live up to the names bullies call them.

Consequently, if this goes on long enough, she’ll no longer feel loved by family and or her peers. Therefore, she will more than likely use the only thing she feels she has left to offer- her sex appeal. Some bullied girls turn to sexual/dating partners to get the love and approval they’re missing out on and crave so badly. This usually doesn’t end well.

What Bullied Boys Experience

However, it’s much worse for boys. In most cases, boys don’t have the option to use the opposite sex as a Band-Aid for their emotional needs. Society expects boys to be strong and tough. In other words, to display manhood. Bullies will often emasculate their male targets and all too often, the target sees no way to reclaim his manhood.

Bullies will do everything in their power to strip the target of his “manhood” and feminize him. And they do it by making him look and feel less like a man. They will often call him names such as, “sissy,” “pussy”, “bitch” and other names that attack the masculinity.

Also, people consider it “un-macho” for a boy to report being bullied. Oftentimes, others refer young men who complain of being bullied as “whiners.” Other people will tell him to “toughen up,” “suck it up,” or “man up” because they deem it as against “man-code.” This can also erode male self-esteem.

Male Targets Have the Highest Rates of Suicide

Once bullies have stripped a young man of his manhood, it will become next to impossible for him to get a date and find love. Although the suicide rate among females has skyrocketed, It remains to be much higher in males.

bullied victim crying tears

No matter what, we must encourage bullied males to speak out and report bullies who torment them. We must also encourage them to seek therapy. Males must also have older males in their lives who remind them of their worth as men and re-enforce it.

We must also encourage females to speak out and get help, as well. Moreover, they must also have older female role models. And these role models must instill in them that they are just as good, just as whole, and just as beautiful. And they are good, beautiful and whole with or without a partner.

With knowledge comes power!

The Difference Between Bullied Girls and Bullied Boys

students gossiping behind classmate back at school

Although I’m female and have discussed bullying mainly from a female perspective, I would like to help you distinguish between the plights of bullied girls and bullied boys. Wishing everyone peace, health, love, and happiness!

In the case of the female target, after having been bullied by her peers and reporting it to school staff and even members of her own family; only to be rebuffed, ignored, or blamed, she feels alone in the world and that no one understands her.

Bullied girls are shamed in their looks, femininity, and virtues. They are called names like “hoe,””whore,” “slut”, and often shamed about their weight and their appearance. Even sadder is the reality that if their self-esteem is low enough, some live up to the names they’re called.

Consequently, as a result of not feeling loved by family and or her peers, she is more likely to use the only thing she feels she has left to offer- her sex appeal. Some bullied girls turn to sexual/dating partners to get the love and approval they’re missing out on and crave so badly. This usually does not end well.

yelling

For boys, however, it can be much worse. In most cases, boys don’t have the option to use the opposite sex as a Band-Aid for their emotional needs. Boys are expected to be strong and tough…to display manhood. All too often, the bullied boy has been emasculated and he sees no way to reclaim his manhood.

In essence, his bullies will do everything in their power to strip him of “manhood” and feminize him. Male targets are often called “sissy”, “pussy”, “bitch” and other names that attack masculinity and cause them to feel less like men.

Also, it’s considered taboo for a boy to report being bullied. Oftentimes, young men who complain of being bullied are referred to by others as a “whiner” and told to “toughen up”, “suck it up” or “man up” because they’re going against what is perceived as “man-code”. This can also erode male self-esteem.

dreamstime_xs_178767

Once a young man is stripped of his manhood, it’s next to impossible for him to get a date and find love. Although the suicide rate among females has skyrocketed, It remains to be much higher in males.

No matter what, we must encourage bullied males to speak out and report bullies who torment them. We must also encourage them to seek therapy. Males must also have older males in their lives who remind them of their worth as men and re-enforce it.

Females must be encouraged to speak out and get help as well. And they must also have older female role models who instill in them that they are just as good, just as whole, and just as beautiful without a boyfriend and that it’s okay to be alone.