Sometimes, to expose your bullies, you must rattle them. If you’re not sure how to do it, think Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam!
Getting a bully rattled is as easy as smiling. Say nothing to them; only look at them and smile like you know something they don’t. I promise you. It’ll drive them nuts!
They’ll ask you what the hell you’re smiling at. Don’t get defensive. Don’t say anything. Just walk away, snickering.
Your bullies will be madly bewildered. They’ll look at each other, wondering why you seem so smug, then wonder what it is you’re up to, and curiosity will get the best of them. You’ll throw them off! Trust me. Bullies always think their victims are up to something when they see them act this way, and they go on the hunt to find answers like hounds sniffing a trail.
Even better, your bullies will most likely think you’re making fun of them and get super angry — all the better for you.
• When someone is really pissed off, they lose the ability to think straight and control their emotions.
• When you stir someone up, you throw them off balance. When this happens, they usually screw up and do something stupid.
If they challenge you to a fight, don’t fight unless it’s necessary. You want to get the bully in front of a crowd of people and get them so mad they start yelling and throwing a hissy fit in front of everyone. Your goal is to get them to expose themselves in front of bystanders and those in authority!
Sadly, this is the only way you can expose a bully. But before you employ this tactic, be sure that the bully isn’t one who carries a deadly weapon or isn’t criminally violent or insane.
Anytime bullies escalate their abuse- anytime they increase their name calling and double their efforts to besmirch you, it only means they’re scared to death and desperate to contain the threat that you are to them. They see you as a threat to their perceived status and power.
Therefore, they feel they must double down on the abuse. What they don’t realize is that they only make themselves look desperate and pathetic. Their blatant repetition and redundancy is so telling. Bystanders and witnesses to their deplorable behavior might not say the quiet part out loud but trust me, they see it, and they think it.
And rest assured that the ones who take the bullies’ side already know who the good guy is, only they’ll never admit it because they’re too scared of becoming the next target.
Always remember that. You have more power than you know. Bask in it.
Why? Because bullies don’t care what your reasons are. The only reason they blame you for something and try to bait you into explaining yourself is the psychological payoff they get from it. The psychological payoffs, being satisfaction, gratification, and a massive rush of power.
While you’re standing there wasting your breath, trying to convince the bully that you aren’t guilty of whatever it is that they’re accusing you or attacking you for, the bullies are mentally smirking and patting themselves (and each other) on the backs over how easily they’ve got you to react, how easily they can scare you and make you nervous, and get you all up in arms. Some things don’t need an explanation.
Here are more reasons why you shouldn’t explain yourself to a bully:
1. No matter what you say, how calm you are when you say it, how convincing you may sound, or how much evidence you may have to support you, bullies will never believe you anyway.
2. Understand that bullies only believe whatever feels right, useful, and convenient for them.
3. They aren’t interested in evidence or facts. Any facts may only deter them for the time being, but believe me when I tell you. Your bullies will only get angrier at you for having the gall to prove them wrong. Then, they’ll regroup, reorganize, then come back at you with a whole new accusation and demand yet another explanation later.
Understand that anytime bullies accuse you of wrongdoing that you neither committed nor know anything about, deep inside, they already know you’re innocent.
They are fully aware that you had nothing to do with the transgression. Realize that it’s only a trap to get you to react and give them that rush of power that you’ve been giving them all along and that they crave and can’t seem to get enough of.
Even when you produce evidence to prove your point, you must work to gather that evidence.
Just knowing they have you jumping through hoops to prove yourself is enough to give them the thrills they’re looking for.
So, instead of letting them bait you into a defense, you should be asking yourself,
1. “Who are these morons?
2. “Who are they that I should have to explain anything?”
3. “Since when do I have to explain anything to these jackholes? They don’t pay my bills!”
Understand that you don’t owe these people a damn thing!
I understand that bullies can be intimidating and threatening. It’s hard to resist an explanation when you’re scared to death and not began rattling off an excuse in nervousness, hoping that a reasonable explanation will make the harassment go away. But trust me, it won’t!
It certainly didn’t make things better for me. If anything, it only got worse because my reaction only made me look like an easy target.
But once I realized what they were doing, I began to get bored with them and walk away because their games no longer affected me. The same will be for you too, and you’ll feel much better. And the icing on the cake will be that you’ll take the wind out of the bullies’ sails, and they’ll finally leave you alone.
Three words! Entitlement, jealousy, and resentment – of anyone they perceived as better off than they are.
Understand that the young people who promote Marxism, Socialism, and Communism in America- many of whom join groups like BLM, Antifa, BAMN, and The Red Guard are the same kids who were growing up when everyone was getting trophies for participation.
They never learned good sportsmanship because their feelings and pride were always shielded from disappointment with these participation trophies, and they never had to deal with any sense of failure.
But then something happened. These children grew up– and no longer had their equally entitled and overly protective parents to shield them from the realities of the real world! And, low and behold, the real world gave them a good sucker-punch, causing such a rude awaking that it shattered their fragile egos and sense of entitlement. Ouch!
Suddenly, they began to see that some people were just a little more fortunate than they were! That some people had more “stuff” than they did! That some people were much better off than they were!
“Oh, my God! What a bummer!”
“Oh, the unfairness of it all!”
“The injustice of it all!”
“How dare they have a life better than me!”
Those are the collective thoughts of these kids, and it doesn’t matter whether these “lucky” people worked their butts off for what they have. It doesn’t matter that many of these more fortunate people were once poor themselves but managed to pull themselves up by their bootstraps by starting businesses of their own.
No. None of that matters to these kids because many of them are thirty plus years old and still living in their parent’s basements, sadly. They feel as if life didn’t give them a fair shake, so they shouldn’t have to work for anything. They would rather have security than freedom.
The only thing that matters to people in these groups is that these lucky others have it, they want it, and if they can’t get it, nobody else should have it either. So, they want to make the world more equal. Because, “If I can’t have it, then, by George, I’ll make sure nobody else has a chance of achieving it!”
Thus, the idea of Socialist utopia began to sound like the perfect solution to their feelings of jealousy, failure, and inferiority.
Even sadder is the fact that some of these kids grew up with parents who thought it more comfortable to live on welfare and watch soap operas all day, rather than get a job or go to school to create better lives for their children.
And many of these parents who did go to school didn’t finish because, even though they received Federal Pell Grants, studying for hours a day was “too hard” when you had children. Therefore, they never taught these kids the harsh reality that nothing good ever comes easy!
And many of the parents who did go to work, only worked long enough to receive a couple of paychecks, then they would quit and go back to living on welfare. I saw this with my own eyes. These parents were my age. And the running theme was this:
“I was looking for a job when I found this one, and I’ll be looking for a job when I find the next one.”
Back in the nineties and the beginning of the first decade of the new millennium, jobs were plentiful. However, it was tough for employers to find good workers because nobody cared whether they got fired or laid off and didn’t see the incentive to keep going when the job grew hard and monotonous.
Meanwhile, their children were growing up, going to school. They had to watch other kids, whose parents did believe in the value of hard work. These kids watched them come to school wearing Tommy Hilfiger, Abercrombie and Fitch, and Filas, and secretly coveted their good lifestyles and hating them for having them. And it seems they never got over it.
And this is the product we get- a generation of spoiled, self-entitled young adults who scream for justice now. And their justice would be that everyone ends up equally poor.
Rather than everyone having the opportunity to pull themselves out of poverty and pursue a better life, which is what Capitalism and Fee Enterprise gives us, these kids would rather everyone be poor and oppressed under Socialism. Because God forbid, they see anyone other than themselves rise above it while they remain stuck in it!
But what they don’t realize is that with Socialism not only comes poverty, but oppression, lawlessness, sickness, famine, and death!
Remember that the only difference between Socialism and downright Communism is that people vote Socialism in. With Communism, people force it in by starting a revolution. Look up the Bolshevic Revolution that brought Communism to Russia.
Venezuela voted in Socialism in 1992. And they were a very prosperous nation then.
But it only took a decade for the country to plunge into the hell hole that it is today. Many people are trying to leave that country and come to the US for a better life. And if the US turns socialist, there will be nowhere else to go! The entire world will go dark! America will not be the utopia that these young and misinformed useful tools of the Left imagine.
In conclusion, my message to these kids, who haven’t lived in this world long enough to know the difference, is this:
Are you sure you know what you’re asking for? Are you willing to accept what comes with it?
“Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it!” And when you get it, you won’t like it! But by then it will be too late to turn back!
Understand that bullies thrive on power and control. If they can’t control you, they’ll control how others view you. They’ll also use redundancy and repetition to make you believe their lies too. Here’s what they’re most likely to try and get you to think of yourself and what you should believe:
1. What bullies want you to believe
Apart from us, you can do nothing, you are nothing, and you never will be.
What you should believe
Apart from you, I’m better off. I can do anything I set my mind to do, I’m somebody and later down the line, I’m going to be great and do great things.
2. What bullies want you to believe
You’ll never find happiness without our permission.
What you should believe
I don’t need your permission to be happy. I’m much happier without a bunch of losers in my life.
3. What bullies want you to believe
Nobody will ever like or love you.
What you should believe
Maybe you never will, but I don’t mind because you don’t matter. There will be others who’ll love me for me. I’ll find my tribe.
4. What bullies want you to believe
You’re nothing without our approval.
What you should believe
I’m nothing with it because you are nothing. I don’t need your “approval” because it will never define me. Your opinion matters not because, for something to matter, you must first value it, and your opinions or approval are of no value to me.
Always counter the statements, including the unspoken ones. You’ll be surprised at what it will do for your self-esteem and your spirit!
As a survivor of severe bullying and peer-abuse, I’ve seen the faces of hate- up close and personal. And let me tell you, they’re ugly! Hate, itself, is ugly! And dangerous!
I know what it looks like. I’ve felt it’s powerful and painful sting and I’ve been paralyzed by it. I’ve even had it directed toward others in those days, I’m sorry to say. However, I don’t believe people fully understand the damage it does to not only the hated, but the hater!
The reality is that hate causes the hater more pain than it does the hated. I say this because I’ve witnessed it. In the past, I’ve looked into the eyes of my bullies in school- deep into their eyes- down into their souls!
I saw the darkness, the ugliness, the black abyss of pure evil from the deepest pits of hell. And I truly believe that if there wasn’t a law against murder or manslaughter, I probably wouldn’t be here today.
That was the kind of hate many of my classmates had for me. I saw how it would burn them up inside. ‘You see? That’s what hate does. When you have hatred for another person, you’re only hurting yourself.
Because it will eat you up inside and make you crazy. Hate is a sick and twisted obsession and it can take over your life if you allow it to.
Hatred can destroy your happiness and prospects. It skews your judgement and ability to think clearly. It causes you to make horrible decisions- decisions that can alter the entire trajectory of your life and that of your target.
When a person has hatred for another human being, it numbs their conscience, dulls their reasoning capabilities. They will condone things they would otherwise deem immoral and evil. The hater will approve of the most depraved, heinous, and atrocious atrocities directed toward the hated person they would otherwise disapprove of, even condemn, if it was against anyone else, even a total stranger.
Hate turns even the kindest, most caring people into depraved monsters. Realize that hate destroys haters and targets alike. Hate kills.
Indifference is a better option than hate. Because with indifference, you could absolutely care less if the person is doing good or bad, what he thinks, what he says, or what he does. You just don’t care period.
With hate, on the other hand. You do care because all you want is for the hated person to suffer. You want to make sure nothing good happens for the hated and seek to destroy them and their life, even the lives of those they love. You want to make sure all opportunities are closed off to that person. That’s what hate does. It causes haters to obsess over the hated.
So, if you’re a target of bullies, let them go ahead and hate on you. But don’t hate them back. Instead, be indifferent toward them, and how you do that is to stop caring what others think and do your thing, baby!
There’s a reason why some people seem to go out of their way to bring you down, rain on your parade, trash your dreams. Think about it. How many happy people who are satisfied with their own lives do you see sitting or standing around putting others down?
I thought so.
If you have a person or group of people in your life who are constantly bombarding you with insults, horrible names, and telling you that you will never amount to anything, reach your goals, achieve your dreams, etc., it’s because they aren’t happy with their own lives.
They’re only putting you down to avoid feeling so miserable about themselves and look bigger to others. And although that’s true, there’s yet a much deeper reason: Those people are deathly afraid that you will amount to something, that you’ll become successful- more successful than them.
Even worse? You’ll prove them all wrong and force them to peddle back and eat every word that came out of their mouths.
Let’s face it. Crow doesn’t sound like a delicious dish. No one likes to be shown up, but even worse, people hate it when the person they thought was less-than and would never be anyone reaches success.
Why? Because when the perceived underdog shows everyone up, he only exposes those who made themselves out to be the overdogs by highlighting the inferiority they so desperately tried to hide.
Anytime you become a winner despite the people who tried to keep you down, you remind those haters, bullies, and naysayers of everything they didn’t or couldn’t do and of everything they never could and will never be.
It is as if you held a mirror up to them and showed them their nude reflections- reflections which included the ugly and downright disgusting parts of themselves they never wanted to see. Most don’t like to see themselves naked for all the cellulite, dimples, and bumps of fat.
It’s the same with seeing their true personalities. Your success exposes the laziness and mediocrity they’ve been so comfy and content with living in, yet tried to conceal.
“Who do you think you are! I labeled you as a loser, and you didn’t live up to that! How dare you!”
That’s precisely what your bullies from high school or a past job will think when you reach your star! I promise you! Trust me when I say that bullies aren’t happy people, though they pretend to be. They’re only happy when they’re making someone else feel like manure.
At their core, bullies are miserable, bitter, and afraid.
‘You see? Bullies have to make someone else a target so that they won’t become targets themselves. They put you down to hide or distract others from their shortcomings. They must find someone they perceive to be weaker than themselves to degrade to take the negative focus off them.
Your accolades only put the spotlight right back on them. It’s why they’ve tried to keep you down for so long. And it took a lot of work for them to do it, which brings me to another point; nobody likes the thought of wasted effort.
As long as you’re winning at life, bullies can’t touch you. When you succeed in life, you unwittingly put your bullies in the hot seat because you force them to look like the utter fools they are.
You force them to deal with a truth they don’t want to realize. And that truth is that all along, you’ve always had it in you to reach your goals and live a prosperous life.
So, no matter what people say, no matter how others treat you, never lose sight of your worth or your goals!
You are worth fighting for! You are worth living for!
Why? Because this type of harassment offers easy deniability.
Unlike the physical kind, Psycho/Emotional bullying is less evident to others outside the bully-victim dynamic because it leaves no visible bruises, cuts, or wounds. Therefore, the target has no proof that any bullying ever took place. The bullies can easily deny any incidences if the victim becomes fed up and either assert themselves or reports the harassment to an authority figure.
Afterward, the bullies can brand the target as mentally unstable, destroy his/her credibility, reputation, and relationships, then retaliate against the victim by continuing and escalating the harassment later.
Remember that the most talented bullies are the biggest cowards and the most successful actors and actresses. They have methods of harassment that are well-planned in advance.
Depression Concept with Word Cloud and a Human being with broken Brain and Heavy Rain
They go to great lengths to prevent themselves from being exposed. They’re incredibly crafty, committing their attacks ever so slowly and subtly, undercover and behind a veil of superficial charm, fake playfulness, and deceit.
These types of bullies are often in the Preppy/Popular crowd at school or in the Good Ole’ Boy Clique at work because of their superior social skills, ability to read people and predict others’ reactions. They have a talent for keeping up appearances.
They are usually well-liked by teachers, school staff, supervisors, managers, and CEOs. They excel in studies, join clubs or sororities/fraternities, and make themselves out to be high performers at work by stealing others’ ideas and work.
Because their popularity and extreme likeability serve as a shield from accountability and add a lot of weight to their lies and deceit, they often get away with bullying others.
If you live in a small town, they likely come from families who have powerful connections, which is all the more reason why they must keep up appearances. Many of these kinds of harassers are highly skilled wordsmiths, which is why they are such good liars and seem to have the right answer or justification for anything.
Bullies of this kind also have followers. They’re too chicken to get their hands dirty, so if they want to cause any physical harm to their target, they will often send one of their sycophants to do it for them, being sure to offer money and social status as possible incentives to get the job done and stay quiet.
But understand that most of their followers don’t like them; they only kiss and cover their butts to get something from them- their approval and the power and social status that comes with it.
Bullies on top of the pecking order will also use their social skills to take advantage of the mentally disabled (kids with Down’s Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, Traumatic Brain Injury, etc.) and the physically disabled (kids with Diabetes, Lupus, heart defects, and food allergies; kids who are paraplegic, etc.).
They also target kids with weight issues (overweight or underweight), those with low self-esteem, or those younger and smaller.
And most of the abuse they dish out to these kids is strictly psychological or emotional because they’re such cowards! Otherwise, they wouldn’t select such vulnerable kids to push around in the first place.
Since you have to go to school or work with these types and there is no way to avoid these types of people or to go no-contact, I want you to see through these self-entitled, self-absorbed, and self-satisfied wimps so that you can learn their weaknesses and expose them for your own protection.
You must get into the minds of these bullies. You must think as they do even though it’s not a pleasant place to properly defend yourself, and I’ll tell you! The souls of such people can be downright ugly!
Sometimes it takes getting just as low, just as sneaky, and just as nasty as your attacker if you ever want to expose them for what they are before they back off.
The more you know, the more you’re prepared, the better you can protect yourself from such people.
People will establish a clique for the sole purpose of excluding others– and for no apparent reason. Cliques have only one goal, to make their members feel superior to others. Their criteria for “good enough” changes like the weather, and they have no special interests, causes, or abilities.
A clique will exclude someone for reasons as trivial as not wearing name-brand shoes. Tomorrow, the same person may wear name-brand shoes, but the members may exclude them because their hair is too straight or too curly.
You get the point. Cliques exclude people for no logical reason, which only brings me to conclude that their members do it strictly to get psychological benefits- to be mean and to feel like they’re better than someone.
I’m not talking about clubs. Clubs are different in that they promote an interest in a specific hobby or subject- The Math Club, The Music Club, etc. So, naturally, if you didn’t have an interest in Music, you wouldn’t be allowed to join the Music Club, which makes perfect sense.
However, cliques have no real purpose other than to stoke the overstuffed (or bruised) egos of their members. Nothing more. Cliques have no substance behind them. They’re a farce, all about appearances- a mirage.
I want you to realize that anyone who has to establish or join a clique to feel good about themselves obviously doesn’t have much else going for them.
Bullies belong to cliques, always. And they will look for any excuse to attack those on the outside. They then use differences to justify themselves. They must make someone feel bad to make themselves feel good.
confident blonde teen standing in front of the clique
Sadly, they don’t realize that they only forfeit their chances of meeting people who could be interesting and be great additions to their existence.
If you’ve been rejected by a clique, don’t feel bad. Instead, ask yourself these questions.
Are those frauds even worth knowing? Are they even on my level? Would they benefit my life in any way? Am I really missing anything?
Understand that, besides the ability to feel better than or superior to others, cliques have no real benefits. They are the same boring people, having the same boring conversations, and living the same lackluster lives.
And if being a part of the clique is the only way its members can have any excitement in their lives, then wow! They are some miserable souls, and you should have pity on them.
Cliques only restrict their members from talking to anyone on the outside and take away the possibility of meeting someone who would make a positive difference in their lives and could actually teach them something.
So, seriously! Who’s missing out here? You or them?
These are the bullies with the most social connections and friends in high places- the bullies well thought of (or well-feared) by a vast majority in a school, workplace, neighborhood, or community. They can be the “cool kids” at school or the “Good Ol’ Boy” clique at work or in town. These bullies can also be local politicians and businessmen or members of certain well-known families in a particular area.
Although money does help, these people don’t necessarily have to be rich to have these connections. I’ve known people who were quite poor who had these types of relationships as well. What gives them the power they have is their connections with the right people, which is why bullies in these select groups are especially dangerous and can do the most damage to a target.
These types of bullies proactively build a network of social relationships to re-enforce their power and get protection from any accountability for wrongdoing. In many cases, they already have close and well-established ties, which go back several years.
These relationships ensure that the bullies are well-protected and above reproach. Worst of all, they also give them carte blanche to ride roughshod over anyone freely and with impunity. These are the types who will watch you closely.
These bullies know they have good name recognition, and they take advantage of it. Any time a bully has a ton of social capital, others will not risk alienating them for fear of being the next target. And chances are that if they target you, their followers, who are secondary bullies, will only follow their lead.
In short, bullies can weaponize their connections and popularity!
This is why the most popular and well-connected bullies get away with deplorable behavior and can do anything they want to anyone. And they will take full advantage. If you become a target of one of these people, they will use their connections and influence to destroy every aspect of your life. Also, they’ll never stop coming after you.
Understand that these bullies are very influential, persuasive, and, most of all, convincing. Their names alone carry much weight behind them. They have trust, mutual understanding, and shared values and behaviors which promote unity and strengthen their group. When one of these people says something, others, even those outside their circle of connections, are more likely to listen attentively and take their word as fact!
I call these people “sacred cows” because they have such power and influence in a school, corporation, or community that they’re perceived as not to be questioned nor spoken against, even if they’re in the wrong.
With sacred cows, people may not necessarily like them, they may even hate them, but you can be sure that they fear them. So, even haters are careful not to speak against them publicly or within earshot of the wrong people.
With that said, if you’re a target of bullies who have social capital, know that they can make your life hell. They can tarnish your name with smear campaigns, and others will believe it simply because of who the rumors and lies come from. They can also cause the loss of your job and blacklist you, robbing you of any opportunity to find other means of employment.
These people can destroy your ability to make new friends because others will be too afraid to associate with you. If you own a business, they can either discourage customers from patronizong it or have their worker bees to set fire to and burn it down altogether. And don’t put it past these bullies to trump up false criminal charges against you, set you up to be arrested, or send henchmen to either visit you or meet you on the street somewhere.
Your self-esteem can also take a harder hit because of these bullies’ popularity, and you’re likely to be paralyzed with fear, especially if you’re a kid in school.
But here are a few things you can do to lessen the trauma these powerful bullies can cause and build your own social capital.
A macho man standing crossed arms near-luxury open-top car in tropical resort isometric image vector illustration
1. Befriend and align yourself with other targets because you can be sure that you aren’t the only one these bullies torment.
2. If you can find people who were once a part of the bullies’ circle but whom the bullies ousted for whatever reason, that’s even better! These people would be the ones who have private and sensitive info about each of the bullies and their sycophants. They’ll more than likely be looking for a little payback and only too happy to give you the deets!
3. Establish tight connections with your fellow targets and with the former members whom the bullies booted out of the “social club” or double-crossed. Band together with them because nothing unites people like the shared anger and hatred toward an enemy.
4. Pal around with or eat out with them. Be sure you’re seen with these targets and outcasts and with as many of them as possible. This will provide you with a little protection!
5. The more targets and outcasts you connect and bond with, the better!
6. Important!!! Always have their backs and make sure they have yours!
7. Make friends, take jobs, and seize opportunities that are outside the bullies’ element. If need be and all else fails, move to a new area.
8. Tell no one of your plans, where your new job is, your address, or where you’re moving to. Sometimes, it’s just best to vanish!