Bullying and Collective Guilt Fallacy

 

Man scolding himself in a mirror, his reflection feeling guilty

Today, more than ever, we are seeing the age-old bullying tactic, called the Collective Guilt Fallacy, being played out all over the world. The global powers that be are targeting certain groups of people and trying their darnedest to make them believe that they should feel guilty for things that they had nothing to do with- that they should somehow take responsibility and atone for evils that were committed before they were even born. Also, these people demand that the entire group be punished for the sins of a few bad apples who so happen to share the same skin color.

This is wrong, and, at the same time, it’s racism, no matter how you slice it. It is also bullying and promotes such of innocent people who may share the same physical characteristic.

I want you to realize that if you share any physical characteristic as a few monsters who commit evil acts against innocent people. It does not mean that you are responsible for their atrocious behavior. Understand that it’s the individual who is responsible for their sins, not the entire group.

Here’s why:

1.You, as an individual and separate person, have no control over the behavior of another individual person. The only person you have, have ever had, and will ever have control over is yourself and your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. Each individual human being on Earth (past, present, and future) has their own mind and their own choices to make. You can never choose for them. Therefore, trying to control another person is like trying to control the weather- telling another person not to commit a horrific act is like telling the sun not to rise- it’s impossible!

 Therefore, it is a complete waste of your time to feel guilty over things you have absolutely no control over and the people who tell you that you should feel guilty obviously have no clue about humanness.

Here are a few other reasons why you shouldn’t feel guilty for the sins of others with whom, you may or may not share some sort of physical characteristic:

2. You only cause yourself unnecessary pain. Life already has enough pain in it and you’re not immune to that, so why compound it? You only hold yourself back.

3. Again, you take blame for things that are completely out of your hands. And, trust me, it’s a heavy load and not your burden to carry. The only person responsible for the sins of yesterday and today are the terrible and evil individuals who commit them. If you’ve done nothing wrong, haven’t harmed anyone, and you have the courage to speak out against evil, you’re not accountable for what a few pieces of human filth do. It doesn’t matter which ones, nor how many physical characteristics you may share with them.

4. You allow others to trick you into becoming a victim when you allow them to fool you into thinking you should make up for the sins of a few ignoramuses in your group: And this is utter lunacy. It’s also a sign of self-loathing and toxic shame.

5. In your willingness to pander and virtue signal, you become a scapegoat, a stooge, a pansy! In short, you give away your power. By kneeling and bowing down to people who claim to be “oppressed,” you put yourself in the position of being ridiculed and shamed, for doing just that- bowing down and becoming someone’s scapegoat. Know that you’re better than that!

6. You only show that you just might be trying to hide the same sins of your own: Anyone who feels they must virtue signal is only doing it to either get attention and fame, or they do it because they’re guilty of the same sins they’re being accused of. Ouch! Yes! I said that!

I want you to know that if you know who you are and you know deep in your heart that you aren’t the oppressor or evil person certain activist groups and individuals say you are, you won’t feel any need to prove it. You won’t feel like you must pander or virtue signal. Instead, you’ll refuse to do so because you know without a shadow of a doubt that what they label you isn’t who you are at all.

You will be confident in that. You will feel no guilt because you’ll never define yourself by the labels thrust on your group. And you will be comfortable with yourself and with the decisions you’ve made. Even better, you will be happy and you will let those insidious and false labels bounce off you and walk away.

You will also never let any SJW define you. Because believe it or not, no SJW can ever know your inner reality. And anytime they claim to know it and wrongful judge you, they only play God because they claim to know the unknowable.

Also understand that throwing off false guilt and labels starts at the individual level. Only you, the individual can determine your reality. And only you can choose whether to believe the false labels they thrust on you, or to reject them.

Take comfort is this. Be not afraid. Because in their labeling, they only confess their own bullying, their own bitterness, their own rage, and their own hate.

Bullying Is All About the Bully, Never the Target

Any form of bullying is always about the Bully, it’s never about the target. So, if you’re a target of bullying, it’s about your bullies, not you.

Let’s  break it down:

It’s about THEIR mental health issues.

Its about THEIR feelings of inferiority.

It’s about THEIR insecurities.

It’s about THEIR incompetence.

It’s about THEIR ignorance.

It’s about THEIR lack of intelligence.

It’s about THEIR cowardice.

It’s about THEIR jealousy.

Its about THEIR feelings of self-loathing.

Its about THEIR self-doubts.

It’s about THEIR false bravado.

Its about THEIR over-inflated but fragile egos.

It’s about THEIR overall pathetic-ness.

Remember that your bullies see you as a threat.

They’re afraid you’ll expose THEIR weaknesses and shortcomings.

They’re afraid your talents and gifts will outshine THEIRS.

In their efforts to make you feel inferior, they only make themselves more inferior.

Always remember that.

Bullies Who Bully People for Superficial Reasons

Many people think their superior to those who make less income than they do. Oakley, TN was and still has many of those who have that attitude, unfortunately. Don’t let me wrong, not all of the people in the town are like this.

There are several people there who are down to earth, friendly, and don’t care about those things if you treat people well- if they like you, they like you no matter what your station in life is. However, the true, authentic people seem to be vastly outnumbered by the superficial bullies there.

There have been many occasions when I’ve seen waitresses in a restaurant being treated like dirt by fat cats and fake fat cats who never tip them and talk terrible to them. I’ve seen janitors and custodians degraded by other employees in a few workplaces I’ve been employed at, by other employees who were in higher positions. And many of these menial workers were awesome people with hearts of gold.

Yes, bullies treated these people like cockroaches they wanted to exterminate.

I’ve also seen these bullies bully people who were less attractive. I’ve witnessed bullying of people over the clothes they wear, the car they drive, the family they come from, etc.

Understand that when people value material possessions more than they do people, they don’t think that material possessions can be lost so easily.

They don’t think about the fact that they could end up in a car accident and lose their ability to work. Their so-called riches may all go to hospital bills. Then what will they have? If you define yourself by the possessions you have, what happens if you lose it all?

But! That’s not the only problem they’re have. Others will also remember how these bullies treated them and not care to help them. And their materialistic and smug friends who hung around them because of what they had? They’ll only discard them like yesterday’s garbage because once they’re broke and disabled, their high-flying friends will have no more use for them.

Bullies who bully you because you’re less attractive. I’ve seen some “beautiful people” mistreat those who are average-looking. Their arrogance is out of this world because they never stop to think that beauty is fleeting- it always fades over time. Let’s face it, we’ll all end up old, toothless, and ugly if we live long enough.

Judge Judy Sheindlin had a point when she stated that, “Beauty fades, dumb is forever.” And I would much rather be ugly and smart than beautiful and stupid. Intelligence lasts longer!

And what happens if they get disfigured in an accident?

What happens if they end up bullying the wrong person? Perhaps some psycho nut-bag who ends up sneaking up behind them, calling out their name, and throwing a bucket of acid in their face as soon as they turn around, or slashing their face with a box-cutter?

Though I would never condone such a sick and depraved act, I have enough sense to realize that this has happened before and still does. We can’t deny that such crazy, messed up, and vengeful people exist, and you never know who’s a raving lunatic and who isn’t.

And here’s another thing about material possessions and riches. At the end of the day, you can’t take any of it with you when you go. So, what do you have?

Sure, those things are wonderful to have, and I sure wouldn’t mind having a million dollars. Who would? But just because you have those things don’t mean you bully those who don’t because you don’t know what they must go through to get what they do have.

Again, you can’t take it with you when you go. When it’s all said and done, the only thing any of us will have, is a rock and a hole in the ground.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Here’s What Bullies Always Do Anytime They Fear that They’re About to Lose Their Power

…especially if they fear losing their power over their targets! What do they do?

Simple, they attack! Always!

When bullies get exposed and are in danger of losing face, and thus, losing their power over their targets, they know they have real problems on their hands.

They know that if they ever lose power over their targets, they lose power over everyone. Then, they become the hunted!

Understand that bullies always target whoever is perceived to be the weakest or has the least power because they’re the easiest prey. Without the target, they have power over no one. So, they launch a brutal and very public attack on the target to re-enforce their power and the unwritten rule that “no one messes with” them.

concept of a mob attacking a person that they think is different

And what better way to contain threats, solve their problems, and assuage their fears than to go on a full-blown, merciless attack? If you’re a target of bullying and your bullies are under the threat of losing their social status and capital, you will be the one they lash out at because bullies instinctively know that the best way to “stay in charge” is to attack someone.

Their followers love it, and they get entertainment out of seeing you get beaten down. At the same time, the bullies send the unspoken reminder to the rest of the people that it’s in their best interest not to defy them. Therefore, it makes perfect sense that bullies will attack rather than risk losing power.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Addressing Women Who Date Lowlifes

Throughout my lifetime, I’ve known many women who seemed to pick shady and nasty characters to date. I’m talking about smart and beautiful women who you know can do better if they’d be a little more selective!

I’ve found that many of these women date no-count losers who don’t treat them well. I’ve seen their partners degrade these poor women and try to control them. Many of these partners are either broke, jobless, or working dead-end jobs.

Several of these bad partners and spouses are in and out of jail and who always have their women post bail for them. And this becomes a cycle. Even sadder is the fact that many of these smart and beautiful women either move in with or marry these losers, then end up having to keep these scrubs up!

These women will pay their partner’s bills and try to make life easier for them, only to be disrespected by them later.

Let me give you my opinion here. And this opinion may tick a lot of people off, but I’ll say it anyway.

Unless they are sick and can’t work, any significant other who lives off a woman or works and spends the money on themselves rather than contributing to the home is a sorry sack! That’s how I view them. Still, many smart, talented, and beautiful women end up with just the type.

But why?

It’s because many of these women have low self-esteem. They’re blind to their beauty, intelligence, and strength. They’re afraid of being alone and don’t think they can do any better than these worthless partners. So, these women take what they think they can get and settle for so much less than what they deserve.

Also, they think that they can change the person or that the person has “potential.” So, again, in order to keep from being alone, they delude themselves into thinking that their partner is just going through a rough patch and that, eventually, they’ll do better. This is wrong and ends up dragging the poor woman down too.

denial willful blindess self-deceit, willful ignorance

It happens all the time. Smart and beautiful women resort to dating beneath their own standards to ensure they have a partner. Understand that they have the attitude that “anything is better than being alone.” So, they’re willing to put up with shabby treatment, spend all their hard-earned money to keep these creeps out of jail and do without just to keep a romantic partner.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be alone than to put up with some lazy piece of crap who does nothing but keep me stressed out and broke. I can do bad all by myself! I don’t need help from some scumbag.

I realize that life can be tough and we all get down on our luck sometimes. It happens. So, if you have a partner who’s striving and has lost their job, by no means am I suggesting that you leave because things happen that are beyond our control. And chances are that a person who really wants to do better will eventually. But if your partner doesn’t bother to try, you may want to consider other options.

If you’re in either of these types of relationships, know that you owe it to yourself to leave and to be more selective. Know that you’re worth it and if the other person can’t get their act together, you have every right to show them the door.

The last thing you should do is to waste any more time with a partner who doesn’t value you or the good you bring to their life. So, don’t settle or continue a relationship with someone who only takes you for granted. Find someone who values and cherishes you. Don’t you think you’re worth it? I do.

Later, I will post about men who date toxic partners.

Things Many Targets of Bullying Do Wrong and Why They Stay Targets

Many targets of bullying suffer such vicious bullying and for so long that they’re willing to lap up anything that even looks or sounds like approval from others. They give undue value to anyone’s opinions, even those whose opinions should never be valued.

But when a person is desperate for friends and approval, they’ll latch onto anyone who shows their teeth to them. Worse, they’re willing to kiss butt and eat doody if it means they don’t have to be alone and friendless.

They’ll chase people who don’t give a crap about them and allow people to use them for what they can get from them. They’ll overlook it when their so-called friends stab them in the back.

They’ll even put up with overt abuse. Sadly, victims hold on to people who only tolerate them, which only invites more bullying. Anytime you have to crawl behind people who don’t care about you, you’re doing yourself a huge disservice!

I want you to understand this:

If you feel you must beg anyone to be your friend

If you think you must give them your delicious dessert at lunch

If you believe you have to do someone’s homework for them, give them money or do something that you don’t want to do to win their friendship

If you have to chase someone or go out of your way to get them to see the good in you

If you put up with being abused, disrespected, and humiliated by people who are supposed to be your friends

If you have friends who never have your back, who disappear and always throw you under the bus when trouble comes for you

If you have to force conversations with these so-called friends

In a nutshell, if at any time a friendship doesn’t feel right, these people do not deserve the time of day!

I understand the feeling of deprivation when you’re a target, it’s easy to want and nudge things a little. I completely get that deep ache- that longing to have a friend. And my heart goes out to you.

But you don’t need enemies with friends like that. Ditch these losers fast! They don’t deserve the privilege of being in your life.

When you’re that hard-up for friends, it shows. Anytime you’re willing to put up with crappy treatment to keep from being by yourself, it decreases your worth as a person. Other people see it and immediately think you’re pathetic. You come off to others as clingy and needy. Even worse, the desperate vibes you put out only attracts people who want to use and abuse you, which invites even more bullying and alienation.

Neediness just plain stinks. It is off-putting and repels even the people who would otherwise be good friends. There’s an old saying, “I can do bad by myself.”

It’s a saying I’ve heard for ions and it rings so true. Wouldn’t you much rather be alone than to put up with people who only pretend to be your friends and treat you like garbage? I sure as hell would.

I promise you that if you eighty-six people who treat you less than how you deserve to be treated, your value will go up and you will feel so much better about yourself. Also, either the people you ditch will realize what they lost and come back to apologize, or they won’t.

If they do, it’s your choice whether to allow them back in but understand that you do not have to take them back because some things you can never come back from. If they don’t, it’s no loss to you.

I say this because out of about four hundred classmates at Oakley High, I can count on one hand those I could ever trust again, and that’s without using all five fingers. Other than two or three, the rest of them I could care less if I ever saw again, even if they were the last four hundred people on the face of the earth.

I forgive my classmates, yes. But I will never trust them, and I’d be a fool to have anything to do with anyone I couldn’t trust.

The point is that you must value and love yourself enough to protect yourself and command better treatment from others. If that means being alone and friendless for a while, then so be it.

You deserve people who genuinely care for you, and if you have the courage to get rid of toxic people, life will eventually reward you and bring better people into your life- people who will love, respect you and feel so blessed to know you. It happened to me and it can happen for you too!

Don’t settle for fake friends who use, abuse, and only tolerate you to keep from being alone. Find people who celebrate you. Be friends with people who value you and see the good you bring to a friendship. You’re worth it. Believe it! Believe in yourself!

Unnecessary Fear: 4 Ways Bullies Use It to Control Their Targets

Fear is the strongest of all emotions. While fear is an excellent asset in a genuinely hazardous situation where there’s the threat of immediate harm, it can be the most dangerous and paralyzing emotion when it unnecessary.

Unnecessary fear is THE number one tool in the bully’s toolbox. Bullies use this fear as a means to manipulate their targets and to control many aspects of their lives.

Realize that the power of fear is the only power bullies hold, and they don’t use it sparingly. Bullies instinctively know that real or perceived fear will shut down a person’s rational and cognitive thinking abilities. As a result, they can manipulate the target into doing what they want by making empty promises of safety and security.

Fear strips away your power. It takes apart the ability to reason, to be proactive, and to make good choices- hence to defend and protect yourself. Bullies have long understood the power of deliberately inducing fear in their victims to control and dominate them.

Understand that a fearful person is easier for bullies to control than a fearless one.

Bullies maintain their oppressive grip on their victims by invoking fear in them, then claim that only they have the power to decide whether the targets can live in peace and be safe from harm. The bullies send the message that if the victim does what they want and says what they want to hear willingly and without getting mouthy and catching a funky attitude, they will leave him alone and permit him to live in peace.

But we all know how this usually ends. Bullies don’t keep promises. They only keep you hanging.

If you’re a target of bullying, I want you to understand that your bullies greatly benefit from your fear, and they won’t give those benefits up without a fight.

So, how do bullies exploit targets through inducing fear? There are many ways.

1. Rumor spreading and gossip – bullies have a knack for making even the most ridiculous lies sound like the truth and the most insidious abuse respectable, even admired. They slander the target to keep him silent and ensure that he doesn’t speak out about the abuse. If they can turn everyone against the victim, then who’s going to believe him when he finally does open up about the violence?

Bullies will also use fear to turn others against the target and recruit them to become willing participants. Even the kindest of people can become willing co-conspirators because humans behave much differently in groups, then they do on their own.

“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.”

Voltaire

2. Repetition -bullies will bully, defame, insult, even physically attack the target repeatedly, over long periods to solidify the target’s fear, along with their low self-esteem and confidence to ensure that he doesn’t protect himself or rebel against the abuse.

3. Gaslighting – if the bullies can make the target question his own sanity and believe that he must have done or said something to deserve the cruel treatment, all the better! Then he’ll surely keep quiet then.

4. To control everyone else– bullies also use fear to control peers and bystanders. They send the messages that if anyone else dares to help or befriend the target, they’ll suffer the bullies’ wrath as well.

But there’s hope!

Unnecessary fear has a cure. And that cure is knowledge!

That’s right! You must acquire knowledge of bullies and bullying, and lots of it! It pays huge social and psychological dividends to know the psychology of bullying.

1. why bullies bully (for social status, to keep from being bullied themselves, etc.)

2. where their abuse comes from (insecurity, low self-esteem, arrogance, superiority, etc.)

3. intentions and motivations for bullying (domination and control over another person, power, social status, to keep from being bullied, etc.)

4. tactics bullies use and the effects of bullying on victims.

And so much more.

In short, you must be knowledgeable of human nature, tactics of warfare, the ways people attain power, psychology, and dark psychology. I would also recommend reading about the Dark Triad- Narcissism, Psychopathy, and Machiavellianism. Then read about how to counter bullying.

Only then will you be able firmly and confidently stand up for and protect yourself- then ultimately free yourself from your bullies’ grip. Knowledge is the only thing that can defeat your fear. If nothing else, know this!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Bullies Always Go After The Best of The Best

motivational inspirational dare to dream

Being the best- working hard, striving toward goals, and excelling at high levels all come at a high cost- a lot of resentment from others and having them try to sabotage. There’s a social penalty for high scores in work, creativity, ethics, good-heartedness- anything positive.

It’s why their peers don’t nominate the ones who are deserving of awards and accolades, nor do they recognize them for their success. They work too hard or too fast, they’re too passionate, too perfect, or excessively detailed.

Jealousy, envy, and resentment are often disguised as cold silence and ignorance, which are intentional slights from classmates, coworkers, and superiors designed to hold someone back. Peers who are secretly angered by the successes of a winner will only undermine by stealthy silence because to openly do it would be too obvious.

It would look to much like sour grapes, like the feeling of inferiority to the victor, and everyone is careful not to give off even the slightest stink that they might feel a little inferior.

Blue-collar workers often penalize those for working too fast. Classmates hate other classmates who get top scores. Peers covertly hate those who are record-breakers.

But why?

It’s because any person who breaks records unwittingly raises the bar, therefore raising teacher or management expectations for the rest, creating a new goal that’s much harder to attain.

The best of the best only threaten the rest.

It never pays to be a little too perfect in an imperfect world. You don’t score points by being a ray of light in an environment of dark souls.

The feeling that someone else is better than them are is uncomfortable and only nags at bullies until they find a way- any way possible, to level the playing field.

Many times, people perceive the best to be the worst.

Bullying and The Insanity of “Wokism”

So many times, I’ve heard people on the far left say things such as- “Intentions behind saying or doing something don’t matter. All that matters is that you did it or you said it and someone’s feelings were hurt. So, you should still be held accountable for hurting that person’s feelings.”

Though I understand it if you’re being bullied, and, if you are, then yes, you absolutely should be offended because bullying behavior IS intentional harm. It is something you should address quickly. However, if it’s unintentional and the person has the guts to apologize, why not accept the apology and move on?

In this major talking point, what the Radical Left is really saying is that we should be responsible for everyone else’s feelings and, therefore, handle others with kid gloves.

They’re saying that we should, in essence, walk on eggshells around other people and do it consistently.

They are saying that there’s no room for being a fallible human being, even though we all are by nature.

They’re also saying that any apology for an accidental offense won’t suffice, and that forgiveness is out of the question.

That still, you must pay a huge price regardless of your “intentions” and regardless of whether you’re remorseful for the perceived slight.

This kind of dichotomous thinking blows me away because, not only is it delusional, but downright ludicrous!

There have been times when I’ve accidentally ran into people in the supermarket on or the street, would it have made any difference if I’d run into them deliberately?

I’ve had other drivers accidentally pull out in front of me, does it mean that they did it on purpose and should be punished for it? No. Sure, it was aggravating, and, in the privacy of my car, I may have shouted, “Hey! Watch it, you idiot!” But I didn’t want to get even with the person, and I never thought that this person should be punished for it. Accidents happen. People make mistakes.

I accidentally dropped my oldest son when he was a toddler, but does that necessarily make me a terrible mother? Would it make any difference if I told you that I was sorry for it and that it scared me so bad that I took him to the ER just to make sure he was okay?

I see right through this nonsense. And one thing I know all too well is that bullies are the types who get the most offended about the tiniest and most insignificant of things. Bullies are the very people who subscribe to this kind of tripe because they’re the type who love to make any error someone makes ten times bigger than what it is. Even worse, bullies constantly search, and search high and low, for anything…anything to blow up, be offended about, nitpick, and make out to be an unforgivable sin that you should be given a death sentence for.

They will pick apart even the tiniest infraction regardless of whether it was intentional.

This is a form of bullying, in and of itself. And the “intentions-don’t-matter” bologna only serves to give bullies the excuse they’re looking for.

I spent enough years tippy toing around bullies and I’ll be damned if I ever again walk on eggshells around anyone! Sorry, Lefties. Getting your feelings hurt is a part of life and the sooner you accept it, the better off you’ll be. I no longer care even the slightest what others think of me. Most of the people who think less of me never meant much to me in the first place.

And unless you’re on the autism spectrum or you’ve suffered a traumatic brain injury (which are things that can’t be helped), you can usually tell whether an offense was intentional or unintentional because you can sense these things. You can feel the vibrations coming off the offending person. And I’ve had people, even friends, accidentally say something that hit me in my heart. But I knew that they didn’t mean anything by it. Also, they usually apologized for it. Even better, I graciously accepted their apology.

Let’s face it, sometimes words just don’t come out right and innocent actions can have adverse reactions.

Again, that’s life, and life happens.

I still get my feelings hurt from time to time, even now. Do you know what I do about it? I brush myself off and I move on. And if it’s intentional, I quickly put the person in their place with as few words as possible, then I walk away and let it go. I don’t go out of my way to get back at the person. I flat refuse to allow a few assholes to ruin my day- I won’t give them that kind of power over my life.

And the fact that people can proclaim that there isn’t a difference between intentionally and accidentally harming another person, and still manage to keep a straight face, only goes to show that they have serious mental health issues which have for too long gone unaddressed, even denied.

Wokism is, in and of itself, a mental illness. There is a purpose behind their loud trumpeting of such nonsense. And that purpose is so they can have a reason to bully others. In short, it’s all a form of mass manipulation.

We’re all human and we make unintentional mistakes, and one of those mistakes is that sometimes we say and do the wrong thing merely by accident. The Left knows this, so they spread this paranoid nonsense to justify their bullying of others, even of their own.

And if we allow ourselves to fall for their crap, we’re doomed not only as a country, but also as the human race. The truth remains that nobody is responsible for your feelings but you. If a person intentionally harms you, you have two choices, either you can give away your power by staying angry, carrying a grudge, seeking revenge on the person who offended you and making yourself even more miserable. Or you can decide just to tell them what you think, drop that person and deny them any more power over you by letting them go.

And if the person accidentally offends you, you can either accept their apology and live a happier life knowing that they realized their mistake, had the guts to admit it, and apologized, or you can choose not to accept their apology, hold grudges, and stay miserable by dragging a bunch of toxic baggage around for the rest of your life. The choice is yours.