Cyber-Stalkers

If you have dealt with them, you probably know they can be relentless in their pursuit of you. I had one not long ago, and without a doubt, I know who it is, only I can’t prove it. And what cyber-stalker would ever put their name out there?

I’m not one to complain or to have a victim mentality. And I won’t stress out over it because I have enough people who know me and know that I’m all for doing the right thing and speaking against wrong. And they know that it’s a smear, and I’ve shown proof to back that up.

I know that being afraid is exactly what she wants, and I won’t give her the satisfaction. However, I am concerned. Who wouldn’t be?

This woman needs help. She has sent me nasty messages and stalked all of my social media pages. And at different times in the last two years- several times in 2018, she’s returned again since. She’s one of those stalkers that attacks you, disappears for a while, then comes back again with more hatred.

This is all because I deleted her from my friend’s list for making offhand comments and sarcastic remarks to some of my posts.

I’ve blocked her. However, she has had her sister, her son, and a few others stalk me and even stalk my husband and kids. We have since blocked all of them.

It just goes to show that she’s a coward and doesn’t have much going for her. Because if she did, she wouldn’t resort to any of this.

Her latest act is stalking me on a few other pages such as Amazon and Google books.

She was at her craziest in 2018 when she threatened to look up my address, then get on a bus and come pay me a visit (She lives out of state now).

I’m glad she thought I was worth the travel expenses! (Hee-hee!)

Understand that with someone as sick-minded as she is, all threats should be taken seriously, And I’ve put a few friends on alert just in case she tries anything with them.

So, know this:

1. When you have a cyber-stalker, do respond. But never react!

2. Never stay silent about it but put the word out to family and friends who love you because it can make all the difference in whether or not your attacker is caught should they take it to the next level and try to hunt you down.

3. At the same time, keep an eye on all your business online and be aware of your surroundings when you’re out.

4. Do your best to walk confidently and look like someone a criminal would think twice about messing with.

Do these things, and you’ll surely feel better, be better able to relax and enjoy life!

Bullies and Their Signature Trait- Hypersensitivity

Ha! And they call us hypersensitive. Oh yes! Bullies will accuse their targets of being what they themselves are, “too sensitive.”

But have you noticed how they explode in anger and indignation after the smallest of perceived slights? Or how bullies (particularly female bullies) will be the ones who dissolve into a puddle of tears if someone even looks at them cross-ways, or says something hurtful to them? Or worse, they get held accountable for their bad behavior?I saw this happen at school on several occasions and I’ve got to admit, it was hilarious!

In truth, bullies have the sensitivity of the princess in the classic, “The Princess and the Pea.”

The double-standard is clear. Bullies feel intense resentment when targets speak out about their abuse. All the while, bullies feel entitled to do things that are a thousand times worse, not to mention, unspeakable, to the target.

But we are not supposed to talk about that. Right?

Actions speak louder than words. And as humans, we need to rely less on words and more on other’s actions and behavior to get the answers to any questions we have about bullies, abusers, or anyone who does not have our best interests in mind.

Cyber-Bullies, Stalkers, and Trolls

Bullies are cowards, but Cyber-bullies are the biggest, most pathetic ones. They sit in the safety of their homes (or their mom’s basements, attics, and backyard sheds), hide behind fake profiles and screen names, and troll the internet and social media in search of victims.

If you’ve ever dealt with a cyber-bully, I knew how you feel, and I understand. Words do have power and it’s easy to be hurt when anyone attacks you, online or off. I, too used to get upset and feel bad back in the early days of the internet when I’d look at my instant messages and find that some idiot had sent me a flamer.

However, today, I’ve learned to see it for what it is and the cyber-bullies for who they are. And that in itself can be a real boost to the self-esteem.

When I think of the term “cyber-bully,” I instantly get a mental picture of one of two types of people:

1. Some broke, unemployed and shirtless fat guy sitting and typing on a computer in his granny’s basement, while stuffing his face with Cheetos and sporting a man-bun.

2. A skinny, pimple-faced, bespectacled geek who only trolls the net to compensate for his lack of sex and a social life in the real world.

Any time I have a cyber-bully who’s hot on my trail, and I occasionally do, one of those pathetic pictures immediately pops up in my mind, and I can’t help but chuckle to myself. Because cyber-bullies often use a fake profile or screen name with either a blank photo or one that’s fake, it only shows that they’re faceless cowards and not to be taken seriously.

These losers talk so big and tough behind that keyboard- oh, yeah! They’re real badasses online, but you can bet that if they ever saw you on the street, they wouldn’t have the sack to step up. So, ask yourself these questions.

Should we take these wusses so seriously?

Should we give these worthless schmucks the power to make us feel bad about ourselves?

Should we value their useless gibberish?

Though I can’t speak for anyone else, I have a hard time valuing the worthless opinions of anyone who doesn’t have a name or face. Any person who’s a Rambo in cyberspace but a George McFly on the street, I can only take with a horselaugh and a grain of salt.

You either have a big, brass pair or you don’t.

It takes a real zero to spend even a few hours a day trolling other users. You just know that the person has no ambition, no prospects, and no life. Understand that when you’re cyber-bullied, often you’re dealing with a poor soul who is bored, lonely, and miserable. And the only way he/she can feel good about themselves and have power is to do what they’re doing now.

Therefore, if any cyber-bully attacks you online, you shouldn’t put a lot of stock into their opinions. Their words don’t carry a lot of weight. Understand that cyber-bullies are often people who flame others because they’re insecure, self-loathing, and have nothing going for them.

lazy big fat man sitting at sofa play tablet all day no activity unhealthy lifestyle bad habit

Online is the only way these pathetic people can have a social life, and that alone speaks volumes about the kind of people they are and the crappy lives they lead. So, again, should you take these losers seriously? Are they worth getting angry or depressed over? These idiots can’t make you feel bad about yourself unless you allow them to.

Though words have power, and they can hurt you, you should always consider the source. Because in truth, most cyber-bullies live miserable existences and should only be pitied.

Bullies Intentionally Select Targets

Anyone, who is a victim of bullying knows all too well, the feeling of bewilderment, the confusion…. the questions- The “What did I do wrong?”, “What is it about me?” or “What do they treat me so horrible?” If you are a target, allow me to answer these questions for you.

First, you did nothing wrong!

Second, there is NOTHING wrong with you!

And third, they treat you wrong because of something that is within THEM! Not YOU!

I want you to understand that bullies purposely select their victims. They know exactly what they’re doing and why they’re doing it. Remember that bullies are nothing but sniveling little cowards. And they select anyone they don’t believe will fight back. Or these who achieve great things.

School bullies feel weak. They always pick those they think are slow, kids with hearts of gold, who would never hurt a fly, children who are disabled, mentally handicapped or mentally ill, youngsters who are quiet and reserved and children who have what is perceived to be a physical flaw (overweight, underweight, eyeglasses, braces, or disfigured from accidents).

In school, bullies may select other classmates at random to see how they react. If a potential victim stands up to the bully and tells them off, the bully will then slink away with their tail between their legs. They will then search for someone else until they find the victim who responds how they want them to (cries, ignores them, walks away, runs, tattles, etc.)

Workplace bullies feel threatened. They pick coworkers who are intelligent, competent, and well-liked by others. They pick them because the exceptional workers are the people who make them look bad.

Close-up of woman in black T-shirt is cracking her knuckles gesturing willful and ready for doing something; or in another side; the bad behavior when in tension; concept of health care and medical.

Through their excellent work, the victims hold a mirror up to the bullies (and everyone else) at work, forcing them to see their own pathetic reflections. They unwittingly expose their weaknesses and their incompetency by their successes, accomplishments, and impeccable work ethic. They also make bullies feel overshadowed.

The only way a bully can feel powerful and that they measure up is to bring the victim down or have a victim to use as a punching bag. If they don’t have that target, they feel less than and will go to the ends of the earth to find one. Realize that bullies can’t get power through a meritocracy because they have zero redeeming qualities. So, they bully others and that’s what gives them power.

At work, bullies will often select the brightest high performers and achievers.

School boy angel with wings and halo concept for being clever, good, success in education or smug

Once the bully finds his/her chosen victim, they target that person, sometimes for years until that person either changes schools or workplaces, moves, or dies. Then, once again, the bully will be on the hunt for a replacement victim.

I want you to understand that bullying at any age is born out of cowardice, jealousy, and insecurity. A bully is a pitiful person. Only a lowdown, uneducated, sad, and pathetic person has to have another person to harm. Think about it! School bullies pick on kids they perceive as weak! They stoop so low as to pick on disabled kids! And they do it to feel better about themselves.

Workplace bullies select someone who outperforms them. Only a loser scumbag creep does that! A zero! A sick moron!

So have the courage to call the bully OUT on these things! I realize that there are risks but do it anyway. Your self-esteem is counting on you. Get it in your head right now! Bullies are gutless, pathetic pieces of crap! human filth! toilet scum!

Here’s another fact, most bullies are also narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths. Therefore, there is something dark within them that motivates them to bully others.

I’ll say again. It is not your fault. And there is nothing about you that would make anyone mistreat you. So believe that you are a smart, beautiful person! Believe that you are a better person than your tormentors because you are!

Never allow any bully to convince you that you are less than them. Hold on to your faith and your confidence. Counter every negative statement a bully makes.

Beady Eyes of a Bully

The beady eyes of a bully watch you closely
Piercing through your body and soul
As She stalks and follows you morosely
Seeking sneaky ways to keep you from your goals

She desires to scare you
She’ll snare you
And stare you down
She feeds on your fears
Laughs at your tears
She’s hungry for power
Because inside she cowers

Bullies are weak
It’s why they seek
Only the meek
To beat down and to break
The beady eyes of a bully
Your name, she will sully

Beware the eyes of a bully

Passive-Aggressive Bullies: The Vilest of Them All

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Being bullied by someone who’s passive-aggressive is the most demeaning and humiliating. I say this because when these types insult you, they’re slick about it.

They catch you off guard, taunting you in such a way that it can be tricky to figure out who it’s aimed at. Sometimes, you don’t even know it’s directed at you until it’s way too late for you to deliver a good comeback.

Because the bully may not necessarily address it to you, and while you may be unaware, any bystanders and witnesses nearby will immediately know who the covert nastiness was meant for. It’s funny how we tend to see so much clearer from the outside.

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What’s so terrible about passive-aggressive bullying is that the stealthy insults are usually hurled at you in front of an audience. And they can quickly fly over your head and make you look weak or like a clueless idiot for not catching it in time.

Even though the bully’s words are vague and unclear, they will still nibble at your self-esteem and take a chunk out of your confidence, whether you want them to or not, because you usually figure it out sooner or later. It only goes to prove how vicious these covert attacks can be.

But understand that although the bully and a few others might think he (the bully) is being witty or cute and that the creep slapped you with a good burn, there are reasons why these types are so slick with the mouth.

1. They’re great big cowards. Passive-aggressive bullies don’t have the guts to make a direct attack. The idea of a frontal assault scares these people to death. They hope the insults go over your head because they know that if they can confuse you and throw you off-balance, the least likely you are to jab back with a good counter-attack and make them look like a punk.

2. They think it makes them look cute. Passive-aggressiveness is also used to get attention and look intelligent in front of others. These bullies can only achieve this by humiliating someone else and making them look (and feel) stupid.

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3. To stun you and keep you silent. Often, the shock-value of the insults is such that it often leaves the recipient and bystanders speechless. Shock shuts down the ability to think clearly and causes the victim to pause for a second or two.

Many times, the target is left stunned, standing there with their mouths hung open and unable to respond quickly and appropriately, therefore making the poor person look slow and feeble-minded in the eyes of bystanders and making the bully look smart and witty.

It can also strike fear into the target and keep them from speaking out, afraid that the bully will only verbally beat them down with more wisecracks.

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4. Easy Deniability. If the insults are vague and indirect, there’s a higher chance the bully will escape accountability, should the target either catch it right off and either respond to it or report it. The bully can then more easily misconstrue the message and defensively claim, “Oh, that’s not what I meant,” “No harm intended,” “I wasn’t referring to you,” or “You took that the wrong way.”

Understand that although the garbage that comes out of their mouths may be vile and directed at you, it will often have several different interpretations. And because of those multiple meanings, the bully can very innocently explain away the put-down and make you look overly-sensitive, paranoid, or mentally unstable.

But here’s the good news! There are ways to read between the lines and stonewall these lowlife cowards anytime they get slick-mouthed with you.

1. Listen to your gut. If that nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach sounds off and you feel weird or that something is off, don’t ignore it. Your gut feeling is always right, so go with it!

Judgemental girls taunting fellow student

2. Quickly observe any surrounding bystanders. Make a split-second micro-glance of the witnesses and note their reactions and who they’re looking at. Notice their facial expressions and gestures. If you see any of these expressions below, and you’re likely to notice many of them together, you are the target of the insult.

a. If the witnesses’ eyes suddenly widen and they immediately look at you funny after the bully opens his mouth.

b. If they alternate uncomfortable glances from the bully to you then back to the bully

c. If you hear light gasps and grunts of shock from the “audience.”

d. If you see their whole faces change suddenly and mouths slightly gape open

e. If you hear soft but derisive giggles, chuckles, or laughter

f. If you see or hear snickering

Any number of these will give you a yes, and you can address the problem accordingly.

Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out

 

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1. Being a bully is WORK! They work hard to keep up appearances and to maintain their fake facades. Bullies, especially popular ones, have an image to keep up, and they monitor themselves nonstop, twenty-four-seven. They must keep up with and remember all the lies they tell to keep their stories straight. And they often spend beyond their means to look like they have lots of money. Is it any wonder that many bullies get charged with crimes like embezzlement, fraud, and theft. They have to steal to keep up!

2. Bullies are not happy people. They can’t be. Why do you think they bully others? They do it to feel better about themselves, to distract from their shortcomings and insecurities, and project them onto someone else. Bullies also bully to make themselves look superior, better, smarter, and more powerful. They may bully for attention because they aren’t getting it at home. It takes a miserable person to be a bully.

narcissist bully arrogant

3. They’re weak. Bullies bully because they’re feeble-minded people. They’re loud, obnoxious, and pushy because they don’t have the brains to get what they want any other way.

4. Bullies are insecure. When a bully sees someone who outshines them somehow, they fear that the person will take the attention and admiration away from them. Bullies share attention and recognition with no one. They must be adored at all times by everyone. They feel they have to be at the center of everything and that the world should revolve around them.

narcissist bully ego

5. Bullies are jealous of their victims. Bullies can’t handle anyone else’s success. If you have more wins then them, are better looking then them or are more talented than them, they’ll make it their mission to make you suffer for it.

6. Bullies are trying to be cool. Again, they strain themselves to keep up appearances. And bullies know that most people are under the mistaken impression that cruelty is “cool” as long as they aren’t on the receiving end of it. Many bullies bully to look cute to any witnesses.

7. They seek attention. If a bully doesn’t get attention, they feel inadequate. So they bully in front of an audience to get the attention they feel they never get.

8. They’re cowards. They’re afraid of looking weak and being bullied themselves.

9. They’re fakes, frauds, and imposters. They must don masks to hide their true selves. Understand that they do this out of the fear of their true personalities being exposed.

10. They’re compensating. Bullies bully to compensate for weakness. If they can look strong by making someone else look weak they make up for the weaknesses they feel they have. Bullies will also run with rich people or the popular crowd because it helps them to forget about the fact that they’re nothing and, in a way, makes up for anything they feel they don’t have.

bullied victim desperate people pleaser

Male bullies who feel they aren’t man enough will often drive around in hot cars and flaunt money to make up for the fact that girls find them disgusting. Female bullies will often use fashion, makeup, and the latest hairstyles to compensate for the fact that few people like them. Or they may have a bunch of friends and use that to make up for the fact that they can’t get a date.

 

Why Bullies Target Quiet People

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Many times, I’ve noticed that it’s the quiet person who often gets targeted by bullies. So, why do bullies go after those who have little to say? The silent types usually mind their own business. They have no need for attention, and they don’t bother anyone.

Quiet people don’t feel the need to be a part of a group to feel important. They work hard and stay out of the way. So, again. Why do bullies target them?
There are several reasons:

1. Bullies presume them to be weak and timid. Most people are under the misguided belief that anyone quiet is afraid of conflict. They think that the silent types are socially awkward misfits who others have shot down in the past and are now using avoidance to play it safe.

But in reality, they have better things to do and have no time for gossip and other meaningless chit-chats.

2. Bullies mistakenly believe they’re least likely to stand up for themselves. Unfortunately, bullies think that because someone isn’t loud and obnoxious like they are, they won’t defend themselves when provoked. This is a fallacy. I’ve seen many bullies push silents too far and end up with a face-full of humble pie.

bullying cat mouse

3. They’re are mistaken for being standoffish. Bullies will presume that silents are stuck up and think they’re too good to speak. And bullies can’t stand it if there’s a possibility that someone is ignoring them. So they target the person to get a reaction out of them. Or, they punish them for “being so stuck up.”

4. The silent are thought of as sneaky and having something to hide. So bullies will often target them to shake them up and make them slip up and accidentally reveal “whatever it is they’re hiding” out of nervousness.

Bullies often believe the stereotypes they’ve heard about people of few words:

“It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for!”

“The quiet ones are the most dangerous!”

But wait! It goes much deeper.

5. Quiet people intimidate bullies. Only the bullies will never in this lifetime admit it. So, why would someone so silent be so intimidating to bullies?

a. They’re unpredictable. Remember that bullies rely on a target’s predictability to bully effectively. And if you can’t predict what a person’s next move is likely to be, that, in and of itself, can be very frightening. And if the person is the kind who’s stoic, all the more difficult it will be to “get their number.” The less you say, the harder others must work to figure you out.

Also, many bullies see the silence as a challenge and will rise to it by provoking the person to get a reaction.

b. Having little to say keeps people off balance. If bullies can’t figure out where you stand on anything, where your hot buttons are, or your desires, likes, and dislikes, they have less fodder and ammo to use against you.

And if they aren’t sure what gets you excited, ticks you off, or makes you nervous, they can’t control you so easily.

Also, because you don’t show your cards, bullies resent you for making them work so hard to pin them.

gossip rumors talk blah blah

c. Quiet people expose bullies by staying- well, quiet! They’re very in tune with what goes on around them and listen very deeply while those around them rattle off at the mouth, exposing everything about themselves.

d. In their silence, quiet people terrify bullies. They keep them under their control. Subconsciously, bullies know this, and it drives them nuts!

e. People desire to know what others are thinking. Again. Quiet people make bullies uncomfortable and their silence makes it difficult to guess their intentions.

f. Quiet people put bullies on the defensive. Their answers are short and silences are long, which automatically puts bullies on the defense because the bullies assume the person is getting short with them.

If you’re a silent person and a target of bullies, don’t let them shake you. Continue to play your cards close to the vest. Your lack of predictability is what protects you. You must understand that silence has a power all it’s own. Use it.

In Essence, Bullies Only Hide Behind Their Targets

bullies hide shield

little girl hiding behind her mother’s skirt

Bullies are pathetic, aren’t they? Every time I think of this fun fact, I can’t help but chuckle because I know that deep down inside, bullies of all ages are nothing but scared little punks and punkettes. But what are they so afraid of?

Many things. Bullies are scared of having their weaknesses exposed, of having their sins known, and most of all, losing face. And they should be.

They go to great lengths to hide their imperfections and put on an air of gleaming-white perfection.

Keeping up appearances is hard work and bullies often resent their victims for their authenticity and not having to work as hard as they do!

To keep up these facades, bullies often project their shortcomings onto their targets or use their victims’ imperfections to distract others’ attention from their own. Projection and Distraction are some of the biggest and most-used tactics of bullies.

Understand that bullies are fake. To be successful at convincing others that they are invincible and have a perfect life, they have to stay on their toes always.

They also tend to exaggerate their own importance, intelligence, and toughness; then live with the risks of being discovered for who and what they are.

Make no mistake about it, underneath the con-act, the bullies I’ve known are the dumbest, most incompetent and inadequate people I know.

bullies head up your butt

Your problem is obvious. Guy with his head up his own ass

They are also sniveling cowards at their core. Why else would they need an innocent victim to hide behind?

If you are a target of bullying and your bullies hide behind you too, know this!

They are right where they belong- behind you!