Tag: falsehoods

7 Powerful Ways to Spy Lies Bullies Tell

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Have you ever wondered if someone was telling the truth (or not)? Before I go any further, it should go without saying that we should only trust bullies as far as we can throw them. In other words, we trust them at our own risk.

However, there are many great actors in the world these days- people we think are friends but are only the opposite. Therefore, sometimes, it’s difficult to spot it when someone is deceiving us.

So, how do we spy the lies? We do it by watching the person’s body language. What are the “tells” that the body gives away when someone is lying? Here are 4 powerful ways to spy lies bullies tell:

  1. The Eyes.

The liar may have shifty eyes, or they may avoid eye-contact altogether.

  1. The Body.

The deceitful person may fidget continuously. He can’t help it!

  1. Voice.

The faker may clear his/her throat.

  1. Vagueness.

The person telling the falsehood may be vague in their story, leaving out crucial details.

  1. pauses (especially after you ask a question).

The person may have to think before speaking. In other words, they have to think up a lie to cover the last lie they told.

  1. The Arms.

The liar may keep his arms still. Stillness is their way of avoiding giving off any tells.

  1. Answering questions.

They always respond to questions with questions. Why? Because they can’t find an answer that sounds good. Or they’re afraid that any answer they give will be another tell.

Understand that, mentally, it takes more work to lie than to tell the truth. People who lie have to study others carefully to make sure they respond the way that they want. Liars worry about how believable their stores sound. Therefore, they must work, and work damn hard, to appear credible to their associates.

Watch the body of the person closely. If you spot one or more of the above signs, you have then, most likely, spied the lie. Also, most importantly, you must document the bullying you suffer and document every instance of it.

And lastly, watch bullies show their true colors when you or someone else calls them on their BS. That will be the most obvious tell!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Bullies Who Tattle on Their Targets

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Bullies, especially school bullies, are notorious tattletales. And they often tattle on their targets for even the tiniest of infractions. If it so happens, they cannot find anything to tell on their targets about, they will make something up. Furthermore, they will make sure it’s something believable.

These bullies watch their targets closely, waiting with bated breath for the target to do or say something- anything that even smacks of being outside the category of right. They then run and tattle to a teacher, principal, supervisor, or manager.

How noble these bullies must feel, sitting on their moral high ground, working as little gestapos. Moreover, they feel entitled to ensure that everyone is good little peasants, following the rules down to the letter! Or, at least, that’s what they want those in authority to think.

The reality is that everyone, other than the target, is free to do as they wish. They only do these things to their targets. Why? To keep them from being able to defend themselves or report bullying.

Therefore, if you are a target of bullying, all your bullies must do is smear your name to any member of staff and you’re marred for good. They then clear the path to bully you in the future without fear of being reported. After all, who’s going to take the word of a troublemaker and rule-breaker?

Also, if enough people tattle on you, those in positions of power are more likely to believe them. Why? Because, “if you aren’t guilty of whatever they accuse you of, then why are so many people pointing the finger at you?” Right?

It’s Like a Game of Chess, Bullies are Setting Everything Up Against You

Besides, in tattling on you or telling lies about you, these bullies are setting up a system where you will be discredited. In that, they’ll render you powerless to stop the bullying or escape it. Tattling is also a way to silence you.  Think about it. If you know that no one will believe you anyway, you’re more likely to find it easier and less painful just to keep your mouth shut.

Remember that bullies are master chess players. Therefore, this is how they set the stage beforehand to make you powerless. Because, once you’re completely powerless, they’ll bully you openly and in plain sight.

Besides, who’s going to stop them? After all, you’re a troublemaker, a rebel-rouser, a riffraff! And people aren’t bullying you, they’re only reacting to something you must have done to them. Right?

Bullies and everyone else-good. Target-bad! You’re bad, so you deserve it.

And the tattlers? They’re only “good kids” who want to learn in a clean environment. They serve as the extra pairs of eyes that the staff need because the staff can’t be everywhere at once. They’re the little helpers.

So, let’s give them a cookie for their efforts to make our jobs a little easier!

Tattling is a technique to eventually block the target from any help they’ll need and otherwise receive.

Afterwards, when the damage is done, the bullies will boast about how they succeeded in taking away your power and ruining your life.

Moreover, bullies use tattling as a veneer to hide their own bad behavior, and project it onto you. If they can slither their way into the good graces of those in power while demonizing you, their plot will work perfectly, and the bullies be virtually untouchable.

I cannot stress enough the importance of being prepared for this type of thing. And the more you prepare, the better you’ll be able to counter this slick tactic, and the better you’ll protect yourself.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

The Truth is Uncomfortable and Inconvenient to Bullies and Their Followers

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They not concerned with facts, only the excitement that the rumors and lies create and the close bonding it brings their group.

Understand that your bullies already know the truth. Oh, yes! They know that you aren’t what they say you are. And they know that they’re lying through their teeth. That’s the sad part.

Bullies know that you’re better than what they try to make you out to be. But, here’s the thing.

The truth doesn’t fit their narratives, nor their agenda. So, they’ll go out of their way to make the falsehoods look true. Realize that the bullies are benefiting from the ruination of your reputation. And they’ll move Heaven and Earth to keep those benefits.

Your bullies are the ones that have to work so doggone hard because it takes a ton of work to cover up lies and half-truths. Lies tend to have a never-ending chain. They tell the first lie and have to put out a second lie to cover up the first. Then they must lie a third time to cover up the first two lies about you. And on and on it goes. It’s a never-ending chain.

Lies have a way of building and they build so much that it soon becomes hard for the bullies to keep their stories straight. I mean, seriously! After so long and so many lies, who can keep up with all that? They eventually lie themselves into a crack they can’t pull themselves out of.

If you stay calm and play your hand correctly, your bullies will eventually spin themselves into their own web and get stuck in it. So, sit back and watch them fall into the trap of their own making. Even better have lots of pun- oops- fun watching the show.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Why Many Targets of Bullying Find it Necessary to Lie

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I’ve never told one lie in my entire life, and that’s no lie!

Ha! Shyeah, right!

Let’s face it, we’ve all told some big ones in our lives, myself included and yes, even you have. No one is perfect and there are many reasons why people lie- too many to list.

As we all know, bullies and abusers are notorious liars and they do it without even a shred of conscience. The scary thing about it is that they’re good at lying, and their talent for telling such convincing falsehoods is what makes them so dangerous. And why not, bullies and abusers have been telling fibs all their lives.

They’ve had so many years of practice, they’ve gotten deception down to a fine art. In other words, they’ve become masters at it!

We also know why bullies and abusers lie. They don’t only lie to cover their butts and conceal wrongdoings, imperfections, and shortcomings; but also, to discredit their victims, defame others, assassinate people’s character, and ruin their reputations and lives.

However, many targets of bullying also lie. But they lie for totally different reasons.

Targets of bullying don’t like having to tell falsehoods. In fact, they hate it! But they do out of fear and terror. They lie out of desperation. You see, a person who is under the threat of being harmed will do anything to remove that threat. And if they have to lie to save themselves, they’ll do it.

Many targets of bullying must tell lie after lie just to survive! Sadly, most people who are bullied feel like they must lie to protect themselves because they know that truth could get them hurt. Or they lie to make the bullying stop.

Sadly, lying becomes a survival method and, even worse, a terrible habit that’s hard to break.

I must confess that this was me years ago. During the years I was bullied, I felt I also had to lie to ensure my personal safety, and it sucked. A lot of my relationships suffered in the process, and I lost a lot of people.

After years of being bullied, I became a very sneaky and wile person. I used craftiness and cunning to get through a normal school day. I felt I had to use trickery and con games just to survive each day and I’m not proud to admit this today.

If there’s one thing you should remember, it’s this: The people you feel you must lie to have power over you. They control your life. In other words, by lying, you make yourself a subject.

Here’s another thing you should remember:

People with any common sense can tell when they’re being played. And lies have a way of unraveling. Falsehoods are also hard to maintain, and you must tell another lie to cover up the first one. In other words, it’s a lot of work to maintain a lie.

Eventually, I came to realize these important facts. There finally came a time when I began to ask myself these questions:

“Who are these people that I should have to lie?”

 “Why must I work so hard to hide stuff instead of being myself and being free?”

“Who do I have anything to hide from?”

“Why should I give up my power to people who have no business having it?”

That’s when I got sick of it and said, “screw this!”

Lying is too much work and it’s stressful too. And it’s a shame that more don’t learn that lesson. I’m so glad that I now have the confidence to be honest without feeling the need to apologize for it.

Today, I know that I have nothing to hide from anyone, and that means I have nothing to lie about. If they can’t handle the truths of my reality, then screw them. They don’t pay my bills, nor do they sign my paychecks. They have no authority over me and no bearing on my life whatsoever.

And even if they did, I wouldn’t feel the need to lie to them about anything.

Being myself and standing in my truth allow me to relax and live in peace and harmony. There’s no need to scramble to cover up any lies and it’s the life I love and want to continue to live.

With knowledge comes empowerment!