Double Standards And Their Relation to Bullying

bullies hypocrite double standard

Bullies are the biggest hypocrites! And another unfortunate reality of bullying is that the target is held to a double-standard. The bullies, especially those in authority, will often condemn the target for statements and actions they allow others to get away with. They will also demonize the target for things that are harmless or innocent.

Also, ideas and creations, which are independent things and should stand on their own merits, are undermined or dismissed if they’re found to originate from the target. However, if the exact ideas or creations come from anyone other than the target, they’re accepted, even praised.

It’s not about the idea or creation itself. It’s about who it comes from.

The reality is that nothing- no action, statement, idea or creation ever stands on its own merit. Nothing is ever independent of the person who conceived it.

Double-standards aren’t only put in place to assign different roles to different people in different positions in a hierarchy, they have another purpose as well:

1. To elevate, angelize and benefit the people we approve of and to degrade, demonize and harm the people we disapprove of.

Understand that people hold a target of bullying to double standards for one reason only, to stress, oppress and invalidate the person.

It doesn’t matter whether or not the person deserves it. What matters is how people feel about and perceive the person.

Remember that emotions and personal feelings always- always take priority over logic. Always has and always will. And the sooner you accept it, the quicker and more effectively you will be able to find your way around it.

Here are a couple of ways you can get around a double-standard:

1. Go incognito if possible. If you write a paper or invent something, don’t use your real name in the beginning. Use a pen name or pseudonym before submitting it.

bullied victim rejected left out excluded singled out

If you have bullies around, they won’t know it was you who created it, so they will likely approve of it. Then, once it’s approved and recognized for its brilliance, everyone will want to know who the mystery person is. Once an award has been prepared and everything’s all said and done, you can reveal who you are. Think of the movie, “The Cinderella Pact.”

I’ve also heard of people doing similar things in real life.

But note that this only works in certain situations.

2. Meet strangers who don’t know and haven’t heard of you. Find and befriend strangers who don’t know of your damaged reputation. Then keep company with them. These people are least likely to judge you because there will be no history or biases. With them, you start with a clean slate. So, you can put your best foot forward and be your best you!

Reputations are hard to change, but with careful thought, inventiveness, and creativity, you can intelligently work your way around your circumstances.

All About Bullying and School Politics

bullied victim hated demonized put down dehumanized

When there’s a culture of bullying at school, everything is all about appearances. And it isn’t about what’s being done; it’s about who’s doing it.

Sadly, people often hold victims of bullying to a double-standard. If someone makes a statement, it’s never about the comment itself, but who it came from. Unfortunately, politics, whether it be on a national, local, school, or office level, is rife with double-standards.

Here are a few scenarios for examples:

1. The student body and people in the community find out that a particular girl is in a monogamous romantic relationship and that she and her boyfriend are not only dating; they have sex every weekend.

If she’s a target of bullying, she’s a “whore” or “slut.” And her boyfriend must be with her for the sole purpose of getting in her pants. It’s only a matter of time until he gets tired of her and dumps her for something better. And everyone uses her lack of celibacy as a means to persecute her.

bullied victim demonized horns effect

On the other hand, what if she’s not a target of bullying (And she doesn’t have to be one of the popular crowd, she can be just an average Jane who blends in)?

As long as she’s any girl who doesn’t get bullied- she and her boyfriend are only in love, and they’re only experimenting and exploring the sexual terrain, which is only a normal part of being a young couple in love. And everyone either cuts her some slack and either doesn’t say anything, or  congratulates her for reaching the milestone of finding love and losing her virginity.

Here are a few more examples:

2. A boy in the school is going out and getting drunk or high on the weekends.

If he’s a target of bullying, he’s a worthless drunk or druggie.

If he’s any boy who isn’t a target of bullying, however, he’s “cool,” he’s a hellraiser! He’s only doing what most teenage boys will try at some point during their adolescent years. And others dismiss it as his being one of the crazy kids from high school.

bullies double standard two faced hypocrite

3. It’s discovered that a girl at school is pregnant.

If she’s a bullied girl, she’s a cheap little slut, and it’s no surprise she’s “knocked up.” People shun her like Hester Prynne in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “The Scarlet Letter.” Everyone judges her harshly and has the attitudes that she and her baby will only live on welfare and leach from society while the non-bullied kids will move on to successful careers.

And that they will be stuck paying taxes, which will support this sorry excuse for a human being and her little spawn.

But if she’s any girl who isn’t a target of bullying, then she’s just a good girl who made a bad mistake. And everyone reaches out to her and extends compassion.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

Realize that school, office, any kind of politics and double-standards are firmly put in place to keep a select few down and oppressed.

positive thumbing your nose

In a nutshell, if you aren’t a target of bullying, there’s margin for error and you’re allowed to explore many worlds. You’re allowed to make mistakes. You’re allowed to be a human being.

But if you’re a target of bullying, you’re not afforded any of it. You’re not allowed to be yourself. You’re not allowed to be human because in the minds of others, you aren’t human at all. In the minds of the student body, you aren’t even allowed to be- to exist.

But no matter how they judge you, do it anyway.

1. Allow yourself to make mistakes because that’s how you learn.

2. Be yourself because that’s how you weed out the people who aren’t supposed to be in your life and attract into your world the people who belong there.

3. Be human because being human is what exposes the people who are wrong for you and shows you the people who are right for you.

4. And don’t only exist, but live! Be alive! Live life to the fullest!

5. And know that happiness is a choice! And that you do have the power to choose.

Misogyny in Disguise

Full Length of Two Adult Woman Standing Side by Side with Hands on Hips in Separate Lanes of Outdoor Running Track – Two Friends Sizing Up Competition

 

Women today are being discriminated against more than I’ve ever seen in my lifetime. And this sexism and sex discrimination against women comes in the name of transgender equality. You have to admit it- the Far Radicals have really outdone themselves this time.

They came up with a brilliant, totally ingenious way to disenfranchise women and girls. This form of bullying of the female sex is as on the sly as we’ve ever seen. I’ll never accuse evil of not being inventive. What better way is there to put women back in their place without most even realizing it then to shout equality for transgenders?

And the reason few people realize what is happening is because most people have lost their ability to think critically and to listen to their intuition.

This is not all. The Radical Left have also backed countries like Iran- where it is customary to brutalize women, even through they claim to be champions for women’s rights. They support countries where women are stoned to death if even accused of being unfaithful to their husbands. Just watch the movie, “The Stoning of Soraya M” and you’ll see that this is true.

If you’re for equal rights for women then you’re for it one hundred percent- across the board! You can’t be for women’s rights and at the same time, back countries and people who brutalize women and if you think you can, you only prove yourself a hypocrite.

But get this! The Left also touts being champions for the rights of the LBGTQ community, yet they back countries like Iran- where people have a long history of throwing homosexuals off the tops of tall buildings.

If you’re for equal rights of the LBGTQ community, you’re for them one hundred percent- across the board. You cannot claim to be for LBGTQ rights and, at the same time, support countries and people who believe in killing them. Again, if you do, you’re only a hypocrite who talks out both sides of your mouth.

Actions speak louder than words. And, I’ll say again. The problem with so many people today- especially people who fall for the hypocritical arrogance and lies of politicians, is that they let euphemisms, pretty words, and fancy, eloquent speeches beguile them. They take words for genuineness without taking the time to pay attention and see if the body language and actions match their politicians’ words.

And they let words influence them because they’re ruled by their emotions, with those emotions being mostly intense anger, bitterness, jealousy, and hatred. The Left knows that when people are eaten up with these toxic emotions, they lose the ability to think clearly and to make healthy decisions. That’s what they count on.

But a person who remains calm and keeps a level head can see the discrepancies clearly.

It’s sad that women and girls are getting the shaft in this day and time, a century after the Suffrage Movement and sixty years after Women’s Lib. Instead of making progress, we seem to be going backwards now. Thankfully, a few states have exercised their Popular Sovereignty and saved women’s’ and girls’ sports in their states.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing  against the transgender community. I believe that we should all be permitted self-determination and to be able to live however makes us happy. And I agree that we should treat transgenders with kindness and humanity. However, transgenders in women’s and girls’ sports only put biological females at a severe disadvantage. This is because transgenders still have the muscle mass, bone density, weight, and height of a man regardless of whether they still have the genitalia.

And if I had a teenage daughter on a boxing team, I could not risk her getting her brains beat out by someone who was once a biological male.

My point is this. If you’re going to promote equality for a disenfranchised group like transgenders, make sure that you don’t end up disenfranchising another group like biological females in the process. When one groups’ rights get trampled in the name of “equality,” then it’s not equality because a power imbalance still exists.

What it is, is taking all power from one group and handing it over to another. And, in this case, it’s only a sneaky and sly form of misogyny.

How Do You Know Bullies Are Guilty of Something?

Easy! They’re busy accusing someone else of it.

Bullies are notorious for projecting. Anything they accuse you of doing, you can bet dollars to doughnuts they’re doing it. Put another way, bullies do the same things they accuse innocent targets of doing. Understand that this is how they tell off on themselves.

There’s so much truth to the saying that, any time you point a finger, there are always three pointed back at you.

Humans can never know the inner workings of anyone else but themselves. They see from their own perspectives and speak from their own thoughts and attitudes. It is why most cheating spouses will often accuse the other spouse of doing the cheating. Every wife or husband who’s ever been cheated on knows that this is a red flag that’s all too common.

Realize that any time you have some schmuck accusing you of something terrible that you know in your heart you’re not guilty of, the chances are high that your accuser(s) is/are the one(s) guilty of it. Projection is one of the oldest tricks in the book.

Remember the quotes of Joseph Goebbels, a well-known propaganda minister:

“Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty.”

And…

“A lie told once remains a lie. A lie told a thousand times becomes the truth.”

So, understand that when bullies project, they’ll repeat the same lie over and over again until people (even you if you aren’t careful) begin believing it.

The more you know!

Bullies Have Secrets: Things My Bullies Never Thought I Knew

two faced

Bullies keep so many secrets. They have to, to maintain the facade they hide behind. Bullies must continue to wear a veil of perfection, toughness, and coolness, and they take extreme pains to keep that veil from falling off. But if you watch and listen, your bullies secrets will eventually seep through by either dumb mistakes they make, or through the gossip of others.

1. One or both of their parents were drug dealers. A few classmates came from homes that people bought drugs out of. Because of this, these bullies were either ashamed of what they were living in or felt ignored.

2. They were on welfare. Many of my bullies came from families that had a tradition of living on welfare and in many cases, it went back a few generations. These bullies were deliberately having babies because they wanted to draw a welfare check. Others were ashamed of it and took extreme measures to hide it from the rest of the student body.

victim blame It's your fault

Don’t get me wrong, I never look down on anyone who draws assistance. Life happens. We lose our jobs or issues with our health arise and sometimes you need help keeping the bills paid. I get that. But when you try to be someone you’re not and act like your better than the rest, that, I have an issue with.

3. Their parents fought all the time. Other classmates dealt with such drama at home. Therefore, they would start altercations at school too. You are what you live.

4. They were being abused/neglected by parents. Several classmates were getting their butts kicked at home. So, they’d come to school to bully and physically attack me and a few others to overcompensate and feel some sense of power. If they had no control over their own lives, they would come to school and assert control over someone else’s.

bullying cat and mouse

5. Their mothers had a different partner over every night. So many of the female bullies would come to school and call other girls whores, sluts, and skanks. But these were names they really wanted to call their own mothers because the lovers in their mothers’ lives usually came before the needs of their daughters.

6. They had a parent who was an alcoholic/drug addict. Many of my classmates were angry and bitter because they had parents who stayed drunk and loaded. The drugs and booze would usually come before the child and would force the family into poverty. Some of the parents were “mean drunks” and lashed out at their children.

7. They had a parent who was supposedly a criminal. One of my female bullies had a parent who was rumored to be a murderer. Although the suspected parent was a big wheel in the town and was never convicted, there was plenty of talk about it around town and everyone knew about it.

narcissist hurbris

8. They were dirt poor. Many of my bullies lived in trailer parks, shacks, and the projects. Some didn’t have indoor plumbing and used outhouses for a bathroom- even in the winter. Because they were ashamed, they’d come to school and shame others to feel better about themselves.

9. A parent had abandoned them. Again, may of my bullies were full of anger and bitterness. When they got to school, they’d take it out on their vulnerable targets. It gave them a sense of power. Many of these bullies were also jealous of targets who had more than they did and would bully them as punishment for being from families who were financially better off.

10. They were victims of sexual abuse by a family member or their mothers’ boyfriends. These girls felt utterly powerless. So, to not feel so helpless, they’d jockey for power at school by asserting dominance over their targets.

11. They’d had multiple abortions. Many of my female classmates, especially those who were popular, slept around and many become pregnant- two or three times during school. Their parents were public figures with images to protect. Therefore, these parents would finance their daughter’s abortions to hide the shame they feared would befall their perfect little families. One girl had an abortion in the sixth grade.

This is not to voice any political beliefs here. The point is that these bullies were far from perfect (aren’t we all), yet they’d move Heaven and Earth to hide it and wear a veil of sheer perfection while condemning others for doing the same things they themselves were doing. Bullies are notorious hypocrites.

narcissist

12. They’d go slumming. Many of the bullies in the preppy crowd would go to the projects and slept with some of the women who lived there. When the parents of two of them found out about it, they sent them to a group home for the rest of the school year (ninth or tenth grade).

13. One of the teachers who bullied me was sleeping around – even having sordid affairs with some of the boys on the varsity football team. And it was common knowledge around town. But because this teacher had connections in town and her father was a businessman, she kept her job and everything was hush-hush around certain people who were allies of hers.

However, when people were at a safe distance and out of earshot of anyone who might have gone back and informed her of who the talkers were, they would trumpet the juicy info loud and proud.

shame bullied victim

People can live their lives the way they want. No one is perfect and we all have hang-ups. As long as it doesn’t affect my life any, more power to them. But when they look down on others they deem unworthy of dignity and accuse them of committing the same sins as they do, it’s a clear indicator of gross hypocrisy.

The point is, most bullies have dirty little secrets that they don’t want to get out. Always! Why do you think they target others with their vitriol? It’s all designed to keep the negative spotlight off them and place it onto the target.

It’s a way to keep their own skeletons from seeing the light of day. Because if everyone is too busy looking at and judging the victim, they pay less attention to the bullies’ sins, snafus, and faux pas.

Bullying and School Politics

bullied victim hated demonized put down dehumanized

When there’s a culture of bullying at school, everything is all about appearances. And it isn’t about what’s being done; it’s about who’s doing it.

Sadly, people often hold victims of bullying to a double-standard. If someone makes a statement, it’s never about the comment itself, but who it came from. Unfortunately, politics, whether it be on a national, local, school, or office level, is rife with double-standards.

Here are a few scenarios for examples:

1. The student body and people in the community find out that a particular girl is in a monogamous romantic relationship and that she and her boyfriend are not only dating; they have sex every weekend.

If she’s a target of bullying, she’s a “whore” or “slut.” And her boyfriend must be with her for the sole purpose of getting in her pants. It’s only a matter of time until he gets tired of her and dumps her for something better. And everyone uses her lack of celibacy as a means to persecute her.

bullied victim demonized horns effect

On the other hand, what if she’s not a target of bullying (And she doesn’t have to be one of the popular crowd, she can be just an average Jane who blends in)?

As long as she’s any girl who doesn’t get bullied- she and her boyfriend are only in love, and they’re only experimenting and exploring the sexual terrain, which is only a normal part of being a young couple in love. And everyone either cuts her some slack and either doesn’t say anything, or  congratulates her for reaching the milestone of finding love and losing her virginity.

Here are a few more examples:

2. A boy in the school is going out and getting drunk or high on the weekends.

If he’s a target of bullying, he’s a worthless drunk or druggie.

If he’s any boy who isn’t a target of bullying, however, he’s “cool,” he’s a hellraiser! He’s only doing what most teenage boys will try at some point during their adolescent years. And others dismiss it as his being one of the crazy kids from high school.

bullies double standard two faced hypocrite

3. It’s discovered that a girl at school is pregnant.

If she’s a bullied girl, she’s a cheap little slut, and it’s no surprise she’s “knocked up.” People shun her like Hester Prynne in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “The Scarlet Letter.” Everyone judges her harshly and has the attitudes that she and her baby will only live on welfare and leach from society while the non-bullied kids will move on to successful careers. And that they will be stuck paying taxes, which will support this sorry excuse for a human being and her little spawn.

But if she’s any girl who isn’t a target of bullying, then she’s just a good girl who made a bad mistake. And everyone reaches out to her and extends compassion.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

Realize that school politics and double-standards are firmly put in place to keep a select few down and oppressed.

positive thumbing your nose

In a nutshell, if you aren’t a target of bullying, there’s margin for error and you’re allowed to explore many worlds. You’re allowed to make mistakes. You’re allowed to be a human being.

But if you’re a target of bullying, you’re not afforded any of it. You’re not allowed to be yourself. You’re not allowed to be human because in the minds of others, you aren’t human at all. In the minds of the student body, you aren’t even allowed to be- to exist.

But no matter how they judge you, do it anyway.

1. Allow yourself to make mistakes because that’s how you learn.

2. Be yourself because that’s how you weed out the people who aren’t supposed to be in your life and attract into your world the people who belong there.

3. Be human because being human is what exposes the people who are wrong for you and shows you the people who are right for you.

4. And don’t only exist, but live! Be alive! Live life to the fullest!

5. And know that happiness is a choice! And that you do have the power to choose.

 

The Double-Standard

bullies hypocrite double standard

Bullies are the biggest hypocrites! And another unfortunate reality of bullying is that the target is held to a double-standard. The bullies, especially those in authority, will often condemn the target for statements and actions they allow others to get away with. They will also demonize the target for things that are harmless or innocent.

Also, ideas and creations, which are independent things and should stand on their own merits, are undermined or dismissed if they’re found to originate from the target. However, if the exact ideas or creations come from anyone other than the target, they’re accepted, even praised.

It’s not about the idea or creation itself. It’s about who it comes from.

The reality is that nothing- no action, statement, idea or creation ever stands on its own merit. Nothing is ever independent of the person who conceived it.

Double-standards aren’t only put in place to assign different roles to different people in different positions in a hierarchy, they have another purpose as well:

bully narcissist con manipulator devil horns effect

1. To elevate, angelize and benefit the people we approve of and to degrade, demonize and harm the people we disapprove of.

Understand that people hold a target of bullying to double standards for one reason only, to stress, oppress and invalidate the person.

It doesn’t matter whether or not the person deserves it. What matters is how people feel about and perceive the person.

Remember that emotions and personal feelings always- always take priority over logic. Always has and always will. And the sooner you accept it, the quicker and more effectively you will be able to find your way around it.

bullied victim rejected left out excluded singled out

Here are a couple of ways you can get around a double-standard:

1. Go incognito if possible. If you write a paper or invent something, don’t use your real name in the beginning. Use a pen name or pseudonym before submitting it. If you have bullies around, they won’t know it was you who created it, so they will likely approve of it. Then, once it’s approved and recognized for its brilliance, everyone will want to know who the mystery person is. Once an award has been prepared and everything’s all said and done, you can reveal who you are. Think of the movie, “The Cinderella Pact.”

I’ve also heard of people doing similar things in real life.

But note that this only works in certain situations.

2. Meet strangers who don’t know and haven’t heard of you. Find and befriend strangers who don’t know of your damaged reputation. Then keep company with them. These people are least likely to judge you because there will be no history or biases. With them, you start with a clean slate. So, you can put your best foot forward and be your best you!

Reputations are hard to change, but with careful thought, inventiveness, and creativity, you can intelligently work your way around your circumstances.