How You Regain Your Power

You regain your power by changing your mindset. Realize that a victim mentality only breeds a funky attitude.

I may have been a target, but I was never a victim. I thought I was during the entire time I was bullied and for a while after it was over. Understand that a victim mentality, when taken to extremes, serves no purpose. It only breeds laziness and entitlement. You feel that the world owes you something. It doesn’t.

I had the same attitude and it got me nowhere!

Also, if you hold on to it and let it define you, you’ll only attract more bullies and abusers in your life. We are what we think, and the universe will provide more of the stuff that matches our thoughts.

That is why it’s so important that you shed this mentality of defeat. Only then will you re-empower yourself and win true peace and happiness!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

When You Believe It, You’ll See It

I’ve always heard people make the statement, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

The problem is that our attitudes shape our perspectives and perspectives shape what we see. Put another way, our perspectives can blind us to a lot of stuff, even to what’s right in front of our faces. Because, if you have the mindset that you’ll believe it when you see it, the chances are that you never will see it.

This is the reason many targets are bullied. It’s the reason why innocent people are convicted of crimes they didn’t commit. It’s also the reason why many bullies and criminals are promoted to high positions. Because of others’ attitudes!

We often base our judgments of others on our attitudes towards them, by what we’ve heard about them, or whether we like them. Many times, we judge others too harshly because we can’t see past our dislike or hatred of them.

We also do this with our own lives as well. If we’ve had a string of adversity throughout our lives, we usually come to expect more of the same. And sadly, we end up getting just that!

We come to see ourselves as unlucky, undesirable, unlovable, and incapable of success. As a result of our thinking, we get more and more adversity because our attitudes and perspectives about our lives will blind us to opportunities- opportunities that are, more than likely, right in front of us- opportunities that others may see and seize. Then, we’ve missed out once again and thus, the cycle begins, yet again.

Case in point, our attitudes and perspectives have ways of shaping and influencing our lives, the things that happen in our lives, and where our lives take us. They attract people and events.

This is why we must do the inner work to change our thought patterns. We must check our attitudes and work to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. The only way you will have a positive life is to have a positive attitude, then a positive perspective, which can only develop by having positive thoughts.

I know it’s hard to do when it seems that adversity is coming at you from every possible direction. Believe me, I understand because I’ve been there.

It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen overnight. But I promise you this. If you start now by catching each negative thought and replacing it with a thought that’s positive, you’ll be surprised at how much better your life will get!

“What if it doesn’t work out?” Oooooh! But “What if it does?”

It worked for me and it’ll work for you too!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Life-Secrets I Wish I’d Learned When I Was Young

1. Positive thoughts equal a positive mind, equals positive actions, which bring positive opportunities, which lead to positive results, which bolsters confidence, which gives you a positive and extraordinary life!

2. Tenacity equals positive change and eventual success.

3. Negative people will never see success, only hollow victories from time to time.

4. The reason most people find ways to discourage you and tell you that you CAN’T is because they’re very much afraid that you WILL.

5. Resting on your laurels equals stagnation and repels growth.

Therefore, with each major goal accomplished, I’ll raise the bar, continue to challenge myself and flex those mind-muscles even more.

I will set higher goals and I will reach them.

You Are What You Think

You’ve heard the quote, “You are what you eat.” So, it goes with your thought processes. You are also what you think.

Targets of bullying can start off as confident and outgoing people. But after years of bullying and abuse, they become insecure, afraid, and withdrawn. Sometimes, they can turn against themselves. They began to think that they aren’t worthy of anything good in life. They stop believing in their own good qualities. They no longer think they’ll ever be loved, ever be accepted, or ever be successful and that nothing will ever go right for them.

Law of Attraction

Then, sure enough, things begin to happen that matches their thoughts and feelings. These poor people began to fall out with friends and family, they have back-to-back bad breaks. They finally develop feelings of self-loathing and end up alone, rejected, unsuccessful, and unlucky.

Here’s how it works:

You must realize that your thought patterns determine your outlook (attitude).

Your outlook determines your decisions and behavior.

Your decisions and behavior determine your outcomes.

Your outcomes determine your life and the events that happen in it.

All this then re-enforces your outlook or attitude.

This becomes a cycle and cycles always repeat themselves.

Anytime you think a thought, you send a message out into the universe and, sooner or later, you get a response that matches, and the response always returns as an event, situation, or circumstance. And once it becomes a vicious cycle in your life, it’s damn hard to break that cycle.

Know that this cycle can be broken, but it takes a lot of time, patience, and hard work. I can tell you from experience that the changes won’t happen overnight, and the reason is that, once a pattern is set, unseen forces (like your subconscious mind, for instance) will, at first, fight against any change you try to make. You could say that these unseen forces (your subconscious) have become comfortable with the way things are and, just as most people hate change, so do the higher powers at work.

But know that if you keep at it, your breakthrough will present itself eventually. It has to after a while because of your refusal to give up.

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, you must be very careful that you don’t allow your bullies and the lies and toxic messages they send to influence the way you think of yourself. You must fight like the devil to hold on to your self-belief. Your life and its trajectory depend on it!

If you hold on to your positive attitude and sense of self from the very beginning, you’ll save yourself a lot of time and hard work in the future. Most of all, you’ll save yourself from a lot of future pain and misery.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

The Reality of Self-Fulfilling Prophesies

positive happy confident peace hope

Like always attracts like. Everything begins with a thought.

Positive expectations produce positive results

What’s in your head can become your reality.

To get what you desire, you must first think of it.

Thoughts can become things.

A negative mind produces a negative life.

If you predict defeat, you will see it.

A spirit of lack can only bring more lack.

A spirit of abundance will bring abundance.

dreamstime_xs_110318212

Replace negative thinking with positive and watch great and marvelous things flow your way.

Know that a positive and fulfilling life comes from a positive mindset.

When you predict success, you’ll eventually achieve it.

Know that self-fulfilling prophecies are real!

If you think of something, you get more of the same.

When you change your thoughts, you change your LIFE!

Your Inner Bully- Why You Should Ignore It

PTSD

It’s true that, in most cases, we are our own worst critics and enemies. We get in our own way, sabotaging our own successes. Then, we wonder why we’re always stuck.

It’s because we listen to that nagging, bitchy voice that tells us we “can’t do it.” That we’re “going to fail epically.” We give too much attention to that taunting voice that laughs at our dreams and aspirations.

Here are a few reasons why we should pay that inner bully voice no mind:

1. It sabotages us. Thoughts have a way of becoming things and circumstances and they will only cause us to miss out on opportunities and flub our goals.

 2. It serves us no purpose. That negative voice is a waste of time and will only keep you stuck if you’re not careful.

 3. We might just end up believing it. What we believe, we become, and, as mentioned in number one, that evil voice only serves to sabotage and derail you from your goals and dreams.

 4. It trashes our self-esteem. Over time, that voice will erode your self-esteem and steal away your confidence and peace of mind. Once your confidence is gone, bad things begin to happen. As Ralph Waldo Emerson quoted, “If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”

Here is what happens when we listen to our inner bully:

1. We put too much pressure on ourselves to meet standards that are unattainable.

2. We think we need a slew of friends to feel well-liked.

3. We think we need to be filthy rich to feel valuable.

4. We think we need to be ½ of a couple.

5. We live in the past or future instead of enjoying the present.

Most targets of bullying are especially bad for this and the only thing it does is make them feel worse about themselves. But, as humans, the inner bully is our default mind setting. We all have that inner voice that cuts us down to size.

Fortunately, there are things you can do about it. Isn’t it time you gave your inner bully the boot?

freedom

Replace that nagging voice in your head with that of a loving friend.

Replace the negative thoughts with those that are positive.

Train that inner voice to say positive things instead of negative.

Granted, this will be a difficult thing to do because your mind will fight you every step of the way. But when we catch ourselves thinking negative thoughts and replace them with thoughts that are positive, we will slowly rewire our brains until it finally becomes natural. What this is doing is creating new neural pathways and once those pathways are complete, you will naturally think more positively.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Targets of Bullying and Self-Fulfilling Prophesies (Part 2)

Law of Attraction on Blackboard with Words

(Continued from Part 1…)

Again, if you aren’t careful, this repetition of bullying, abuse, and gaslighting will brainwash you. You’ll internalize it and be convinced of it.

Once your bullies finally convince you that you’re the lowest form of life on Earth, you will adopt a poor attitude and begin behaving in a way that matches your new beliefs about yourself. I know it sounds unbelievable, but it’s true.

  • You’ll stop believing in yourself.
  • You’ll have a condition known as “Learned Helplessness.”
  • Your grades will plummet, and your performance will suffer.
  • You’ll attract all kinds of bad fortune into your life.
  • You’ll want so badly to get out of the bad environment and situation you’re in that you’ll begin making poor decisions and life choices out of desperation- choices that may alter the entire course of your life.

  • You may drop out of school to get away from your bullies. I almost did.
  • You may quit your job before you have time to find other employment.
  • You may join a gang or extremist group to feel like you belong and to have friends.
  • You may use drugs to fit in or to dull the pain.

And what’s really sad is that you won’t even realize it’s happening until you’re already too far down the rabbit hole. That is if you ever realize it.

Understand that bullying will change your life- either for better or worse.

It’s hard! I completely get that. I understand how hard it is to keep loving yourself when surrounded by people who hate you. I know how difficult it is to believe in yourself when it seems that no one else does. And I realize that it’s overwhelming to continue trying when everyone else is constantly telling you to give up- that you’ll never make it.

Believe me. I empathize with you because I was there. I almost gave up.

  • I attempted suicide in the eighth grade and almost didn’t make it.
  • I almost dropped out of school during the eleventh grade.
  • I almost lost hope.

I did some desperate things back then- things that could have gotten me arrested or worse- killed!

verbal abuse bullying

If I’d held on to my love for and belief in myself, there’s no doubt that I would’ve spared myself a lot of pain.

But I eventually got mad- at myself! And when I got mad- it gave me the determination that they weren’t going to destroy the rest of my life. I wasn’t going to let them.

That’s what you have to do- get mad. Get determined. Dig in your heels and double down. Be determined not to lose yourself- not to let them destroy the parts of yourself that matter.

Because if you give into your bullies and cave into believing what they tell you, it will become a Self-Fulfilling Prophesy. You’ll end up living up to everything they tell you. That’s not what you want. You don’t want to give your bullies any more satisfaction than they’ve already gotten at your expense. No way!

Why are they so hell-bent on making you believe their lies?

  • Because they know they will succeed at brainwashing you.
  • Bullies are very much aware that they will get what they want. And what they want is to break your spirit.
  • The bully’s end goal- to bring you so low that you never recover.
  • If they can do the above three, then you’re likely to prove them right.
  • Know that it’s all an attempt to reprogram you, and in a vast majority of cases, it works!

Self-fulfilling prophesies are real, and they can destroy your life if you let bullies cause you to have a losing, self-defeating, and bitter attitude. On the other hand, having confidence, loving yourself, and having a positive attitude will bring good things into your life.

This is not to say that bad things won’t sometimes happen anyway because they do. Sometimes things happen that we have no control over, and it happens to all of us. However, with a positive attitude, your life won’t be one huge string of bad luck. You will have victories- and more of them than losses.

Attitude does attract things into your life. Like attracts like. How I wish I’d know this when I was young.

Targets of Bullying and Self-Fulfilling Prophesies

When you’ve been a target of bullying for so long, your world becomes shaky. You began to doubt yourself and your abilities. You wonder if they were all right about you all along and that you maybe just didn’t see it. You get clumsy, awkward! A piece of your self-esteem breaks off.

Your decision making takes a big hit. Any decision you make, you wonder if it’s the right one. You may have even become too afraid to make choices. You fumble, screw up, and it seems that the harder you try not to make mistakes, the more of them you make, and the more bullies ridicule, put you down, even hurt you for them. There goes another piece of self-esteem.

Child abuse with the eye of a young boy or girl with a single tear crying due to the fear of violence or depression caused by hunger and poverty and being afraid of bullying at school.

You seemingly make gaffes that only make these people angrier at you and do things to rub them the wrong way when you’re only trying to quell any conflict. It seems that anything you try to do to help the situation only seems to have the opposite effect, which erodes even more of your precious self-esteem.

You then begin to have a horrible attitude and outlook on life.

All humans are mean-spirited, greedy, and selfish pieces of sh**.

The world is a crappy place.

I’ll never amount to anything.

Life sucks.

And that’s when adverse things begin to happen in your life. Your grades drop, your performance starts to wane, you lose out on awards, achievements, and opportunities. And the bullies are watching and smiling because all that is happening to you is confirming to them that you really are “a loser.” And inside, you know what they’re thinking. Bam! More of your self-esteem is smashed to bits.

Closeup portrait unhappy woman giving loser sign on forehead, looking at you with anger and hatred on face isolated on gray background.

Before you know it, what relationships you do have are suffering, and what goals you have- even goals that are, by all accounts, easy to attain, seem unreachable.

Do you see where I’m going with this? It’s only the Law of Attraction at work. Like attracts like. What you think about, even on a subconscious level, always comes about.

People have consistently bombarded you with negativity- insults, horrible names, rejection, disrespect, physical beatings, abuse, everything- and repetitiously. This has gone on for so long that you’ve consciously or subconsciously begun to believe the crap that your bullies have fed you. And what’s really bad is that you’re beginning to live up to it, and you can’t seem to control it or stop it from happening.

What you resist will persist.

So, the saga continues. It seems that people are not only breaking their backs to convince everyone else that you’re evil, worthless, and stupid; they’re trying their damnedest to convince you of it too. Because, every day, you hear the same vitriol and get the same abuse over and over. Repetition, repetition, repetition.

Those people seem to be winning at it!

Understand that bullies do this deliberately. Oh yes! There is both a method and a purpose behind it that’s either conscious or subconscious.

Put plainer, bullies mean to get you to believe that you are, in fact, worthless and force you to agree with it and that you deserve the mistreatment. Because if they can get you to believe it too, then you’re more likely to submit to their abuse and demands without protest.

Why else would they try to drum such lies- such garbage– into your head a million and one times a day?

Understand that bullying, because of its repetitiveness, is a form of brainwashing because of its brutality. It’s not only physical, but it’s also psychological warfare. Over time, it conditions you to believe that you’re no good and will never amount to anything.

Law of Attraction

And when you’re in a school or workplace full of bullies who loathe you and want nothing more than to destroy you, the psychology of it is akin to being stuck in a re-education camp in a communist country. It’s just as mind-altering, and it’s just as damaging.

This is because bullies spoon-feed you their tripe repeatedly until your mind absorbs it and you end up believing it. They physically and emotionally beat you down, then they gaslight you and convince you that you deserve it- that you asked for the abuse and made them have to hurt you.

(Continued in Part 2…)

Life Secrets Learned

1. Positive thoughts equal a positive mind, equals positive actions, which bring positive opportunities, which lead to positive results, which bolsters confidence, which gives you a positive and extraordinary life!

2. Tenacity equals positive change and eventual success.

3. Negative people will never see success, only hollow victories from time to time.

4. The reason most people find ways to discourage you and tell you that you CAN’T is because they’re very much afraid that you WILL.

5. Resting on your laurels equals stagnation and repels growth.

Therefore, with each major goal accomplished, I’ll raise the bar, continue to challenge myself and flex those mind-muscles even more.

I will set higher goals and I will reach them.

We Are What We Think

You’ve heard the quote, “You are what you eat.” So, it goes with your thought processes. You are also what you think.

Targets of bullying can start off as confident and outgoing people. But after years of bullying and abuse, they become insecure, afraid, and withdrawn. Sometimes, they can turn against themselves. They began to think that they aren’t worthy of anything good in life. They stop believing in their own good qualities. They no longer think they’ll ever be loved, ever be accepted, or ever be successful and that nothing will ever go right for them.

Law of Attraction

Then, sure enough, things begin to happen that matches their thoughts and feelings. These poor people began to fall out with friends and family, they have back-to-back bad breaks. They finally develop feelings of self-loathing and end up alone, rejected, unsuccessful, and unlucky.

Here’s how it works:

You must realize that your thought patterns determine your outlook (attitude).

Your outlook determines your decisions and behavior.

Your decisions and behavior determine your outcomes.

Your outcomes determine your life and the events that happen in it.

All this then re-enforces your outlook or attitude.

This becomes a cycle and cycles always repeat themselves.

Anytime you think a thought, you send a message into the universe and, sooner or later, you get a response that matches, and the response always returns as an event, situation, or circumstance. And once it becomes a vicious cycle in your life, it’s damn hard to break that cycle.

Know that this cycle can be broken, but it takes a lot of time, patience, and hard work. I can tell you from experience that the changes won’t happen overnight, and the reason is that, once a pattern is set, unseen forces (like your subconscious mind, for instance) will, at first, fight against any change you try to make. You could say that these unseen forces (your subconscious) have become comfortable with the way things are and, just as most people hate change, so do the higher powers at work.

But know that if you keep at it, your breakthrough will present itself eventually. It has to after a while because of your refusal to give up.

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, you must be very careful that you don’t allow your bullies and the lies and toxic messages they send to influence the way you think of yourself. You must fight like the devil to hold on to your self-belief. Your life and its trajectory depend on it!

If you hold on to your positive attitude and sense of self from the very beginning, you’ll save yourself a lot of time and hard work in the future. Most of all, you’ll save yourself from a lot of future pain and misery.