School Bullies Grow Up and Produce Little Bullies

gavel and soundblock of justice law and lawyer working on wooden desk background

If you’re a target and you feel that life just isn’t fair and that bullies never get the justice they deserve, here’s hope. Bullies do eventually get their comeuppance, and often, the payback comes through their own children.

I have found that several of my bullies from school have gone on to become criminals, and the children they had either during high school or after were born mostly out of wedlock.

I don’t judge anyone who becomes a single parent, nor do I glory in the misfortunes of others. I’m mentioning a few truths to establish a typical pattern of most school bullies and what many of them become later.

Interior of cell block in abandoned State Correctional Institution, or jail., common room with jail cells.

Many of my school bullies had babies during high school, and now these children are adults. For many years, I’ve avidly read the newspaper and seen many of my former bullies’ mugshots. Now I see the mugshots of their now-adult children and read the public list of indictments, usually located on the second or third page of the county’s newspaper.

Many of my school bullies have been to prison or jail, and now their children are following in their footsteps, being charged or convicted of crimes ranging from assault and drug-charges to armed robbery and murder. One of my old school harassers, along with her adult son, has recently been charged with abuse and neglect of a vulnerable, elderly adult and theft of over $60,000.

The son of another girl who bullied me in middle school is charged with kidnapping, shooting, and killing a pregnant woman in cold blood two summers ago and is now serving a life sentence. Even more ridiculous is that the mother is talking her murdering son up, saying, “He’s really a good boy. He’s just…”, making all kinds of lame excuses for him.

She and a few others are even calling for the authorities to “Free” him. “Free So-and-so!” (I won’t mention anyone’s name here) “Free So-and-so!” is what people hear from her.

Remember that bullies are self-entitled morons who think that you and the rest of the world owe them. They believe that rules and laws do not apply to them (or their offspring).

Handcuffed hands of a prisoner behind the bars of a prison with orange clothes – Crispy desaturated dramatic filtered look

They are willing to lie, cheat, browbeat, threaten, rob, and even murder their way through life and get what they want. They also teach their children to steamroll over others, and sadly, this is what you get…a new generation of budding criminals, prison-rats, and jailbirds.

Understand that bullies may be having their heyday now. High school may be their kingdoms. But once they are out of school, their kingdoms will crumble and fall. They will find out (the hard way) that the real world doesn’t care about them or their self-perceived status. Bullies may think they’re superior, but they’re in for a very rude awakening.

Bullies may think (or attempt to make everyone else think) that they’re invincible and indestructible but rest assured that there will come a day when they will be given a generous dose of Karma. And that Karma will either visit them or worse…their perfect little darlings.

Then you will have the opportunity to see just how small, insignificant, and irrelevant those bullies really are. At the same time, you get to enjoy life’s goody-bag of a loving family, a great career, and much success!

Stay strong! Be patient! Your reward and your justice are coming! Mine did!

7 Ways to Expose a Bully and Protect Yourself

The first step to defense is to know how to unveil a bully’s deplorable behavior. Here’s a list of several things you can do to rip the bully’s mask off and keep yourself safe.

1. Know your enemy. How you do this is to stand back and always OBSERVE the people around you, but without looking like you are watching them. Pay close attention to body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. I can’t stress enough the importance of this. Are they loud and obnoxious? Do they talk bad about others? Are they nosey? Do they ask personal questions and are they always in other people’s business?

This is how you find out who the trouble makers are. If you see another student gossip and make trouble for others, you can be sure that they will do the same to you in time. This is how I now know who to avoid at all costs.

2. Document everything! As has been said, “if it isn’t documented, it never happened.” Keep a journal and write down everything. I did this in junior high and high school in case one of my bullies either hurt me bad enough to hospitalize me or, worse,…killed me.

You must write down the names of your bullies, the names of any bystanders or authority (teachers, principal, or any member of authority) present at the time the altercation took place, the date, time, place it happened, what happened, and if possible, why it happened. Also, record what is said and by whom. Document every… single… detail!

3. Do not reveal any information about yourself that you would not want to be told anyone. Including your friends! If you do, you’re asking for trouble because if you are the target of a bully, you can be sure that your bullies will, at some point, either try to pry information about you out of your friends, or they will turn your friends against you altogether.

4. Keep a low profile. Don’t do anything that may draw attention to yourself. And stay away from places the bullies may gather. Think, “Out of sight, out of mind.” Just don’t make it obvious to your bullies that you are ducking and dodging them. I avoided several confrontations by simply laying low.

However, be advised that avoidance will not work if you have a determined bully after you. If a person wants to get to you badly enough, they will seek you out until they find you.

5. Save any threatening texts, emails, social media messages/posts, and/or voice mails for evidence. And if possible, hide a digital recorder on you or ease your hand down into your purse and set your cellphone to video during any altercations. Do it covertly so that the bully doesn’t know what you are doing. Just make sure you live in a one-party consent jurisdiction. Screenshot messages, comments, and posts on social media.

Keep your composure and be sure not to tarnish the recording by yelling or using foul language.

6. NEVER brag about any evidence you have against a bully. Not even to your best friend! Again, bullies have a knack for prying information out of people, even your friends. They can also turn your friends against you, making them more than happy to volunteer the information.

Don’t do it! Anytime you are a target of bullies, you are in no position to trust anyone!

7. Call the bully out in front of an audience. This is risky and could bring retaliation. However, the bully will also know that you are on to them, and you just might intimidate them enough that they will leave you alone. It happened to me on a few occasions.

But keep in mind that this doesn’t happen for everyone. Calling the bully out in front of people can also humiliate the bully and make that person more determined to get you. So assess the bully’s personality and the situation carefully before you decide to do this.

Ripping the mask off the bully…layer by layer.

7 Ways to Expose a Bully

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The best defense is to know bullying when it happens to you, and to know how to unveil a bully’s deplorable behavior. Here’s a list of several things you can do to rip the mask off and keep yourself safe.

1. Know your enemy. How you do this is to stand back and observe the people around you, but without looking like you are watching them. Pay close attention to body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. I can’t stress enough the importance of this.

This is how you find out who the trouble makers are. If you see another student or coworker gossip and make trouble for others, you can be sure that in time, they will do the same to you.

2. Document everything! As it has been said, “if it isn’t documented, it never happened”. Keep a journal and write down everything. I did this in junior high and high school just in case one of my bullies either hurt me bad enough to hospitalize me, or worse- killed me.

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You must write down the names of your bullies, the names of any bystanders or authority (teachers, principal, or any member of authority) present at the time the altercation took place, the date, time, place it happened, what happened and if possible, why it happened. Also, record what is said and by whom. Document every… single… detail!

3. Do not reveal any information about yourself that you would not want to be told to anyone. Including your friends! If you do, you’re asking for trouble because if you are the target of a bully, you can be sure that your bullies will, at some point, either try to pry information out of your friends or they will turn your friends against you altogether.

4. Keep a low profile. Don’t do anything that may draw attention to yourself. And stay away from places the bullies may gather. Think, “Out of sight, out of mind.” Just don’t make it obvious to your bullies that you are ducking and dodging them. I avoided several confrontations by simply laying low.

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However, be advised that avoidance will not work if you have a determined bully after you. If a person wants to get to you badly enough, they will seek you out until they find you.

5. Save any threatening texts, emails, social media messages/posts, and/or voice mails for evidence. And if possible, hide a digital recorder on you or ease your hand down into your purse and set your cellphone to video during any altercations. Do it covertly so that the bully doesn’t know what you are doing. Just make sure you live in a one-party consent jurisdiction. Screenshot any nasty emails, messages, comments, and posts on social media.

Keep your composure and be sure not to tarnish the recording by yelling or using foul language.

6. NEVER brag about any evidence you have against a bully. Not even to your best friend! Again, bullies have a knack for prying information out of people, even your friends. They can also turn your friends against you, making them more than happy to volunteer the information.

gavel and soundblock of justice law and lawyer working on wooden

gavel and soundblock of justice law and lawyer working on wooden desk background

Don’t do it! Anytime you are a target of bullies, you are in no position to trust anyone!

7. Call the bully out in front of an audience. This is risky and could bring retaliation. However, the bully will also know that you are on to them and you just might intimidate them enough that they will leave you alone. It happened to me on a few occasions.

But keep in mind that this doesn’t happen for everyone. Calling the bully out in front of people can also humiliate the bully and make that person more determined to get you. So access the bully’s personality and the situation carefully before you decide to do this.

Ripping the mask off the bully…layer by layer.

Cancel Culture Only Breeds Cyber-Bullies Who Are Twice as Dangerous (Part 2)

 (…Continued from Part 1)

For the life of me, I cannot understand why these things are allowed to go on. Why doesn’t the law do anything about terroristic threats like the ones above? Before the internet, if you stalked someone and threatened to kill them, you were arrested. You were charged with Terroristic Threatening, Stalking, or both and you went to jail. And back then, if you slandered or libeled someone without any evidence to back up your claims, you got your pants sued off.

You can’t tell me that this can’t still be done with the robust cyber-security agencies that we have today. You cannot tell me that the law hasn’t caught up with technology and can’t find the criminals who are destroying the lives of innocent people. How hard is it to ping an IP address? Even if the cyber-bully is hiding behind a proxy and cloaking their IP address, we have cyber-security teams who could still find ways to track them.

And you don’t see many pedophiles and child sex traffickers being cancelled, which is pretty odd (and suspicious) to me. But I’ll save that for a future post.

Most of the time, cancel culture isn’t even justifiable. Cyber-bullies in the age of cancel culture attack people and publicly shame them for the most absurd, ludicrous, and ridiculous reasons! All it takes is for a person to say something, anything that someone else takes the wrong way, or for the wrong person to see an old high school photograph of a guy in drag at a Halloween party back in the 70’s. And back then, a lot of men dressed as women on Halloween, and no one thought anything of it. It was just a Halloween costume and some crazy kids out having fun. Yet the guy gets cancelled over it 40 years later. It’s ridiculous!

Alas, despite the deaths from suicide and murder that have arisen from cancel culture, people still allow this scourge on humanity to persist. And it’s so widespread that it will come knocking on your door sooner or later. Being a blogger, I already know that it could show up on my doorstep too! Cancel culture doesn’t discriminate, anyone can be cyber-bullied and cancelled. It can happen to you, me, anyone!

In fact, three years ago, I got attacked online for “walking on the wrong side of the street” during my power walk. Walking with traffic has always seemed like a death wish to me. I’ve always walked toward traffic just in case there’s a distracted driver on the road. And if a driver is going to veer off the road toward me, I want to see them coming so I can get the hell out of the way and avoid being hit.

Granted, I never got cancelled for it, but I was told that I was the most despicable person in the world- for walking toward traffic instead of with it. Sadly, I’ve heard of many other people getting cancelled over silly stuff like that.

People go so far as to dig up their target’s personal lives and find out where they work, where their spouses or their mothers work and get them all fired from their jobs. And for what? Some stupid Halloween costume they wore forty plus years ago? Over something stupid they may have said while drunk at a kegger thirty years ago? Or because they worked at a company or for a person that is now on the cancel culture hit list twenty year ago, ten years ago, or five years ago?

It seems that cancel culture cyber-bullies must search, and search far and wide for something- anything- even the tiniest little social infraction to get the pleasure of cancelling someone. And these people will find one even if they must invent it.

It only shows that the cyber-bullies who do these kinds of things have entirely too much time on their hands. Cancel culture does nothing to make people better or teach them a lesson. What it does is make cyber-bullies that much more brazen and much more dangerous.

It gives these bullies exactly the power they need to completely obliterate the lives of innocent people who are just trying to make a living, take care of their families, and live in peace- these targets are mostly people who mind their own business, go on about their lives, and just want to be left alone.

You may disagree with me and you have every right to your opinion. But I think cancel culture should be against the law. I think it should be a Class A Felony at that! No one should be given carte blanche to screw around with someone else’s livelihood and personal life just because they don’t like them- or don’t like what they say, how they do things, the way they live their lives, or who they associate with. If that person isn’t committing a crime, their livelihoods and personal life should be off limits!

Just by the very nature of cancel culture, the cyber-bullies that go to these lengths to destroy their targets may say that they want to “teach them a thing or two” but, they’re not trying to teach any lessons here. They’re only using that as an excuse to deliberately cause trouble and ruin someone’s life strictly for the satisfaction of having the power to do so.

This is how they get the rush of power they so crave because they certainly can’t get it any other way. Understand that these people are life-losers. They’re zeroes trying to look like heroes. And the sad part of it is, they know they’re zeroes. They can’t get self-actualization, power, respect, nor notoriety through creativity and hard work because they’ve got no skills nor redeemable qualities to survive on merit.

Engaging in cyber-bullying and cancel culture is the only way these people can get those things and they will attain them even if it means destroying many lives and breaking laws to do so. And the power that cancel culture gives these people is dangerous and terrifying to those of us law-abiding citizens who only want to work, come home, enjoy the love of our families, and live our lives in peace.

Cancel Culture Only Breeds Cyber-Bullies Who Are Twice as Dangerous

Cancel Culture is just the newest and a fancier name for cyber-bullying. People often say that it was intended for the purpose of shaming racists. And maybe it was intended that way. However, as the old saying goes, “the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.” And it’s definitely true when it comes to cancel culture.

What cancel culture does is give cyber-bullies a green light to bully anyone they deem unworthy of existing on this green earth. It only breeds cyber-bullies who are more dangerous. It even breeds cyber-criminals!

Many celebrities have been cancelled. However, they’re already rich and set for life. Stars already have a nest egg of tens of millions of dollars to fall back on, if they ever get canceled. Therefore, cancel culture won’t affect them like it would a normal, everyday person with a job, bills, and a family to feed.

Normal, everyday people are the ones who suffer the most when they are canceled. And they’re the ones cyber-bullies love to drag through the mud because, as mentioned, they don’t have much of a financial cushion to rest on. Therefore, cyber-bullies will come after them before they will those who are already set.

Why? Because they want their attacks to have the maximum negative effect, so they will most likely pick people who don’t have the wherewithal to protect themselves, their families, and their assets.

Cancel culture has only groomed cyber-bullies who are twice as dangerous as earlier cyber-bullies.

As if the incendiary comments, criticism, public shaming, threats of physical violence and death aren’t bad enough, cyber-bullies are more than willing to go to extreme lengths to destroy people’s lives. Nowadays, many cyber-bullies will dox their target. They will find out where the target works or goes to school, where the target lives, who the target’s friends and family are. These cyber-bullies are the most dangerous because they get the target’s information with plans to do evil things with it.

Many targets of cancel culture cyber-bullying have had people call their places of employment and gotten them fired. Cyber-bullies have gotten their targets kicked out of school, and even shown at the target’s houses, broke in, and beat their target within an inch of their lives. A few targets have even been murdered or driven to suicide.

Many cancel culture bullies have even gone after the target’s families and friends either when they couldn’t find the target, or after they were done with the target. This kind of cyber-bullying is especially terrifying because it puts people and their loved ones in grave danger!

It’s so sad that there are so many people nowadays with this much vileness and hate eating away at their souls. I’ve been on twitter and I’ve seen so much hate directed at a lot of innocent people- comments such as,

“You have such a punchable face,”

“People like you need to hurry up and die off,”

“I want to break into your house and rape your wife and daughter,”

“You don’t belong on our planet,”

And the worst comment I’ve ever seen, which was directed toward a CEO of a small company:

“We won’t stop at killing you, we’ll kill your family too and destroy your entire bloodline!”

I could actually feel the intense hatred in each comment as I read them. And the people that post this kind of stuff? You can tell that they’re in such a bad place- a horrible place! A place I never want to be in, and I kid you not, some of the vitriol on that platform will leave you speechless!

I’m no longer on Twitter. I deleted my account last year because it seemed that everywhere I looked, I saw a slush pile of hate. I didn’t have a lot of followers on Twitter, so I was just a little fish in a huge pond who nobody was interested in cyber-bullying. Lucky me- and I say it in all seriousness!

I’m so glad I got out of that cesspool when I did!

(Continued in Part 2…)

How to Get Solid Proof of Bullying

Though we know bullying exists, it’s one of the hardest things to prove. I’ve preached about documentation and the 5W Rule (What, Who, When, Where, and Why) in past posts. It’s still THE best way to get your evidence.

However, there are other ways of getting evidence that I haven’t mentioned- proof that, when coupled with documentation, can give you a solid case against your bullies and the facility that allows the bullying to go on. And, the more evidence you have, the better.

You can also use recording devices, hidden body cameras, and spy cameras. Unfortunately, this is a slippery slope depending on what state or jurisdiction you live in. Some states and jurisdictions have a Two-Party Consent Rule, and others have a One-Party Consent Rule.

Two-Party Consent Rule – is when two parties must know about the recording and consent to it- those two parties are you and the person or persons you’re recording.

One-Party Consent Rule – is when only one party must know about the recording- that party being YOU.

So, in a One-Party state, you can wear a hidden camera or recording device or have one on you, make all the recordings you want, secretly, and the evidence would be admissible in court. You could still make a secret recording in a Two-Party state, but it would be best if no one catches you with it, and it wouldn’t be admissible in court. You could still keep it for your records.

Yes. I feel the frustration of those who live in a Two-Party state, and I agree with you; it’s a bogus law. Nevertheless, it’s still the law. As I said earlier, you could always record evidence of the bullying, but you’d be doing it at your own risk, and there might be legal consequences if someone catches you with it at school or work.

You could record it, and if nobody catches you, you could take it home and plaster it all over social media. However, this isn’t advisable either because bullies watch their target’s social media pages like hawks. If you go this route, it’s best to join a few private anti-bullying groups and only share the video with them. Only then will your bullies not be able to see what you’re doing.

There are loopholes in any law, but the trick is to find them. And, if you don’t know whether you live in a one-party or two-party area, look up the laws in your state or jurisdiction.

Understand that documenting is your first line of defense, absolutely. However, coupled with video evidence, it can only make your evidence that much stronger and almost ensure a slam-dunk in court.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Doxxing- When Cyber-Bullying Goes Too Far

scared and sad female teenager with computer laptop suffering cyberbullying and harassment being online abused by stalker or gossip feeling desperate and humiliated in cyber bullying.

 

Not long ago, I wrote a post entitled, “Cyber-Bullies, Stalkers, and Trolls.” In it I mentioned the importance of not letting faceless cowards get to you. I also mentioned that most of the above were a bunch of losers who were living in their mom’s basements and were bored and miserable with their existences and were to be laughed at or pitied.

And that’s most certainly true with most keyboard warriors. But!

What happens when online bullying goes too far? What happens when you encounter a more sinister troll- one who doxxes you and finds out your address, cellphone number, where you work, go to school, hang out- or, even scarier, who your family members are?

Then, it’s no laughing matter! This is a situation you must take seriously because things can get dangerous fast. If a troll doxxes you and finds out all this information, who’s to say the cyber-stalking bully won’t show up at your door and try to break in? Who’s to say the creep won’t go after your spouse and kids?

Anytime you have a doxxer on your tail, you’re dealing with a very vindictive, diabolical, and mentally disturbed individual(s) and you don’t know what the person is capable of!

In recent years, we’ve heard many, many stories of people being doxxed and creeps showing up on their doorsteps wanting to deal with them personally. Some people have had to go into hiding and a few have even had to go underground. It’s terrifying!

This is not paranoia; these are real and legitimate fears. And it’s plain to see that the law isn’t doing enough to protect innocent, law-abiding citizens when it comes to cyber-bullying and doxxing.

I believe the reason why people aren’t protected, and laws aren’t passed to crack down on trolling, cyber-bullying, cyber-stalking, and doxxing is because neither Big Tech nor the government takes it seriously, and may even condone the behavior.

Big Tech is too powerful. Also, many of our lawmakers, especially ones of the Far Radical Left, secretly encourage this kind of behavior. How else could they keep track of, instill fear in, and censor those who do not go along with their narratives and who don’t live their lives the way the Far Radical Left thinks they should?

So, why would they regulate their own minions and tools who’ve been working for them and risk Big Tech de-funding their causes and campaigns?

Sadly, I don’t expect any laws to be passed to protect private citizens against doxxing anytime soon. In fact, if certain wealthy people on the Far Radical Left (like George Soros, for instance) actually hire people to cyber-bully, troll, and dox “dissenters,” it’s a given that nothing will be done to protect the innocent.

Doxxing cyber bullying

With that said, if you’re ever in a situation where you’ve been cyber-stalked and doxxed by a cyber-bully, you must do what you must do to protect your privacy (or what little of it we all have left). Be aware of your surroundings and if anyone approaches you or breaks into your home, do what you’ve got to do to stay safe!

You have a  God-given, primal, and Constitutional right to protect yourself and the people you love. Yeah! You know what I’m saying. If someone inters your home uninvited and has clear intentions to hurt you and your family, you know what to do!

I may get some heat from the PC “woke” crowd over this post, but I don’t care. When it comes to safety and protection of human lives, any feelings and opinions automatically take a back seat. Period. Full stop!

Because, if some creep ever invades my house and it comes down to the lives of myself and my family, it’s no holds barred!

And I’d much rather be judged by twelve than carried by six- or worse, one of my family members get carried by six.

Phrases Gaslighters Use to Make You Question Your Reality


It’s funny how protecting yourself from bullies can be twisted into over-sensitivity, paranoia, vindictiveness, or vengefulness. But that’s exactly what bullies, or, in this case, gaslighters are good for.

When bullying progresses to a point when you feel like you have to wear a body camera to work or school to get evidence of what bullies are putting you through, that’s when you know without a doubt, you’re being gaslighted. So, it’s most important that you trust those feelings.

And sometimes, things may get so out of control that you may need to wear a body camera to work or school. And when you do, make sure you catch it raw and unfiltered. Also, be sure no one, not even your best friend knows you’re wearing it. That way, you risk less of a chance of retaliation, or your evidence being tampered with or destroyed.

But realize that once the evidence is out, whether it comes out in court, and your bullies realize they’ve been busted, they will then continue to gaslight you, especially to others. They’ll accuse you of being sneaky, shady, scandalous, paranoid, or crazy.

But to catch gaslighting early on, before you ever have to wear a body camera, here are a few common things gaslighters tell their targets:

  1. “You’re too sensitive.”
  2. “You’re make something out of nothing.”
  3. “I never said that.”
  4. “I don’t remember saying that.”
  5. “I’m not angry. If I was angry, you’d know it.”
  6. “It’s all your fault.”
  7. “You bring it all on yourself.”
  8. “Well, if you hadn’t done this, I wouldn’t have done that.”
  9. “You made me do it.”
  10. “You’re crazy.”
  11. “You’re mentally unstable.”
  12. “Nobody’s ever going to love you.”
  13. “You’re lucky I put up with you.”
  14. “This is why nobody likes you.”
  15. “You’re being petty.”
  16. “You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.”
  17. “You can’t take a joke!”
  18. “You’re insecure.”
  19. “You’re jealous.”
  20. “It’s all in your mind.”
  21. “It’s all a figment of your imagination.”
  22. “If you love me, you’ll do this.”

And the list goes on and on.

Realize that no matter how you do it, you absolutely must protect yourself against these psychos, and doing so requires that you know gaslighting when you hear it or see it. It also requires that you maintain your sense of self and if you did not do anything to provoke these bullies, stand strong and never let them twist the facts and accuse you otherwise.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Always Document Incidences of Bullying!

Bullying, especially of the psychological and emotional variety, is difficult to prove to people in authority who are in a position to help the target. There are several reasons for this:

1. Bullies are Master Seducers (Charmers).

Bullies are charming to the right people. When the victim finally gets sick of the harassment and reports the bullying, and when the bully is questioned by authority, the bully will often charm those in power. Other weapons used to charm and influence teachers, principals, and supervisors are high marks, excellent grades, and class/work performance.

Bullies can also use good looks, impeccable dressing, and grooming to seduce others. Called the halo effect, this is a phenomenon where those who look the best are the most trusted and respected by others.

2. Bullies are Convincing Liars and Actors.

They have a flair for spreading the most convincing rumors and lies. Bullies do this to convince others not to associate with the victim. Therefore, the target loses support and has no one to turn to for help.

Because the victim often reacts out of emotion and the bully puts on a calm and collected demeanor, people in authority will almost always side with the bully because of this false coolness the bully displays.

The bully points out the target’s perfectly normal emotional reaction and twists everything to convince everyone of the target’s guilt and that the victim is unstable, crazy, overly dramatic, or too sensitive. The bully will also feign victimhood by bursting into tears, which is all designed to shift the blame onto the victim and persuade anyone in authority to take his/her (the bully’s) side.

The most seasoned bullies are also master wordsmiths who can explain away and rationalize any bad behavior. They can spin a story that is so convincing that teachers and supervisors will find it hard not to believe it. In the end, the target gets the blame, and either those in authority refuse to discipline the bully or they punish the victim instead.

3. Documenting (or Journaling) offers the disgraced target a voice, enabling them to have a say when no one else is listening.

As stated, the target often gets the blame when he/she reports harassment to the people who can help them. By documenting the abuse, the victim can tell their side without being ignored or having their experiences trivialized by the bully or anyone else.

4. Documenting offers Victims a Legal Record of the Bullying.

In case the bully hurts the target badly enough to require medical attention or worse, a plaintiff can use the journal as proof in court, should the victim or the family pursue legal action. Documentation is admissible in court.

gavel and soundblock of justice law and lawyer working on wooden desk background

5. Documenting is very cathartic and therapeutic.

It allows the victim to express the emotions they could never show any other way. Journals cannot trivialize the target’s experiences, nor can they invalidate the victim in any way. Journals are also confidential. They cannot go to the bullies nor anyone else and repeat what the victim tells them.

These are the reasons you absolutely must document every day about what you are put through. When you document, be sure to include who the bullies are (full names and if necessary, titles and positions), where each incident happened (school locker room, gym, bathroom at work, etc.), the names of any bystanders and teachers/supervisors present, the exact time and date the incident happened, what happened, what was said and by whom.

Also, if possible, write down why it happened (was the bully retaliating because you reported prior harassment?). Write down every detail!

If you have tried telling a staff member or your parents about how classmates or coworkers bully you, only to be silenced or blamed- if no one will listen or offer support, you owe it to yourself to always document the harassment in your daily journal.

You want to document every day to establish a pattern of bullying and abuse. It was how I survived those six long years of being bullied in school. It was the only outlet I had. I can attest to you that if I hadn’t documented everything in my journal every single day, I might not be alive today. When I began keeping a written record during the eighth grade, it was freeing, and I felt as if I were finally having my say.

So, if you can’t talk about it, write about it!

“Kids Will Be Kids”

Many teachers, principals- even the bullies’ parents will use this excuse to sweep incidences of bullying under the rug and trivialize any bullying the targeted student suffers. The “kids will be kids” cop out is designed to protect only the bullies, not the victim- the child who needs the protection.

But see this as it is- a cop out! A farce!

School officials have a legal responsibility to keep kids out of harm’s way while they’re at school- all kids. Not just a select few.

Many schools shirk responsibility and either blame the victim or hide bullying altogether. I’ve read news articles that reported situations where schools failed to notify the parents when a child was seriously injured by bullies.

Even worse, I’ve read about a few cases when the school neglected to call 911 when a child who was injured by a bully desperately needed medical attention.

These schools turn a blind eye when they see bullies making some innocent child’s life hell. They turn a deaf ear and blame the bullied child when he/she reports that they’re a target of bullying. I’ve read about extreme cases where schools retaliated against the victim’s family because they wouldn’t keep silent. And they usually do this by making false claims to CPS and having the child unfairly removed from their home- and thus, destroying an entire family!

Officials are afraid that the school and school district will be given a black eye. So, they do everything possible to hide bullying that is rampant in their schools.

Because of these occurrences, parents are losing trust in the public-school system. I don’t blame them.

People are waking up to the fact that school officials are elected officials- politicians! And in many cases of bullying, when schools fail to act, you can best believe that politics is behind it.

In the past few years, homeschooling has skyrocketed. Should it be any wonder?