Bullies Despise It When You Outshine Them

Especially those who are narcissists. These bullies have to be at the top of the game in everything. They must be the center of attention- all the time.

Therefore, anyone who outshines them in any way is fair game for attack. If you have any talents, anything at all you’re good at, or in which you’re super successful, these bullies will never stop coming after you.

They’ll often accuse you behind your back (and sometimes to your face) of the following:

1. “She’s just showing off.”
2. “Oh, she’s just trying to get attention.”
3. “He just loves to flaunt his (money, material possessions, masculinity, etc.)”
4. “She’s not so hot!”
5. “He’s a wuss, wimp, etc.”
6. “You’re arrogant, full of yourself, pompous, stuck up, etc.”

hypocrite hypocrisy double standard

But notice!

These bullies will often accuse the target of the same things they are guilty of themselves.

By displaying his talents, winning awards, and favor with others and charming those in authority, the target unwillingly offends the bullies’ own excessive vanity. The target instills an imbalance of the bullies’ sense of self and makes them doubt their superiority by poking holes in their importance.

These jealous brutes are often at the top of the pecking order- the popular kids at school or the high executives in the workplace.

So, understand that people such as these can’t accept being outdone in anything by anyone. And if they’re outshone by anyone they deem as inferior- their targets, all the worse! They’ll then stop at nothing to “put you back in your place.”

narcissist bully

They don’t care about your talents, your natural gifts, your successes, or smarts. If anything, they despise them. They hate any threat to their superiority.

Bullies Despise Success in Anyone They Deem Inferior

Additionslly, these bullies will have followers who will kiss up to them and many others who are afraid of them. You’ll know these people right away when you meet them.

They’ll be loud, obnoxious, and arrogant. These bullies will be in a clique and will have attitudes of self-entitlement. They’ll also expect perks and favors and more than likely get them. Anyone outside of their group, they will treat like dirt under their shoes.

Although talk is cheap and what they say behind your back is just a bunch of hot air, be careful your bullies don’t try to do something harmful to you.

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If you attract these bullies’ ire, here’s a short list of ways to keep them at bay:

1. Never reveal your plans and goals.
2. Never share anything you wouldn’t want anyone to know.
3. Display your talents, yes. But don’t brag about them.
4. Don’t dumb down for anyone, but don’t be too flashy with any intelligence, especially in the workplace.
5. Politely thank those who compliment you. Nothing more.
6. Humble yourself, yes. But you don’t have to undermine yourself to satisfy these brutes. Quiet confidence is key here.

Do these things, and you’re less likely to have a target on your back!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

The “Me! Me! Me!” Aspect of Bullying

Bullies are very egocentric and self-centered people. They bully because it gives them some sort of payoff- a psychological payoff. In fact, it gives them several payoffs.

Bullies will bully you for perceived slights. Maybe you reported them and caused them to get reprimanded. You spoke out and put their reputations and social status at risk of crashing. You put them in danger of losing face and with it, power.

Or maybe you ignored them and made them feel unimportant. Maybe you talked back to them and made them look like punks. Nevertheless, you took back your power and made your bullies look like losers in front of everyone. And now they want to punish you and tip the scales of power back in their favor.

Bullies Have Fragile Egos

Bullies attack people who have less power. Yet they will always claim to be the victims and say that you disrespected them. Why? Because you exposed them. Also, they’ll be enraged for being made to feel unimportant, or for being made to look weak.

Understand that your bullies are entrenched in their belief that their bullying is justifiable, rational, and right. That it is their rights being violated and not yours. They claim they are the victims, and you (the true victim) are the aggressor.

But realize that, if you’re a target of bullying, your bullies believe that their self-entitlements automatically override your rights. Bullies view opposition by you, their target, the person they deem inferior, as disrespect and an impediment to their wants and their agendas.

Most Bullying Comes from a Place of Entitlement. 

They bully you because they see you as inferior and themselves as superior. Also, they see you as bad and wrong and themselves as good and right.

They will automatically twist the events in their favor and grossly exaggerate your so-called wrongness and make you look like the bully anytime you report them to a teacher or supervisor, or you speak out about their abuse. It’s the dark side of human nature.

Bullies feel hurt and angry when the target stands up to them or speaks out about their abuse. Therefore, because bullies think they’re right, they believe the target should just take their abuse because he’s wrong and “he deserves it.”

Arrogant young Caucasian man with three female admirers

In reality, the target is tired of being abused and decides not to take it anymore. However, from the bullies’ perspectives, the target thinks he’s better than them. The target is also stepping out of “their place.” He or she is catching an attitude with the bullies and is “dissing” them.

Taking Back Your Power Means Taking it Away from the Bully.

The bullies’ explanation of the target’s behavior totally negates the fact that the target is sick of being mistreated. In reality, the target only wants to be treated with dignity. However, the bullies judge the target in reference to themselves.

In their self-serving preference, bullies aim to control the target’s behavior, attitude, and intentions. The unwritten rule is that targets who are inferior shouldn’t do anything to make the bullies angry or cause them distress, no matter who’s right or who’s wrong.

Understand that when bullies target you, it’s not about your character, it’s about your bullies’ lack of character. It’s not that you’ve done anything wrong, nor that there’s anything wrong with you. It’s because there’s something wrong with the bullies. Therefore, there must be something wrong with them, otherwise they wouldn’t behave the way they do.

Here’s what else it’s about:

It’s about the bullies’ cowardice.

The bullies are great big cowards, and they bully you to try and cover up their fear, weaknesses, and shortcomings. Additionally, they cloak themselves with a tough, holier than thou veneer. Remember that bullies also run around in packs. You will never see a bully alone.

They must always have their wing-men with them to look well-liked and to have backup when they go after their targets. Understand that these wing-men are there to show strength and power- strength and power bullies could never have without them.

It’s about the bullies’ mental health issues.

Anyone who bullies someone else must be sick in the head. Because if a person has good mental health, they don’t have to bully anyone. A person with good mental health has got too much going for them and is too busy pursuing their goals to spend the extra effort to cause anyone else pain.

It’s about the bullies’ anger, jealousy, and overall unhappiness.

These people pick out a target to abuse in order to feel better about themselves. Having power over another person is the only way they can feel good about themselves. Many bullies pick people they’re jealous of to target for abuse.

They may feel that the target has something that they don’t have and don’t feel they can ever attain. So, they must drag that person down to punish them for the injustice they feel. Understand that unhappy bullies hate people who are happy and those are the targets they select.

It’s also about the bullies’ need for attention and admiration.

Bullies crave attention and admiration, so they bully you in front of an audience to look cute or cool in front of them. Also, bullies need to feel tough and intelligent, and they need droves of people worshiping at their feet to feel adequate.

Bullies bully because, there’s always something in it for them.

There’s always a psychological payoff. Bullying is the only thing they enjoy. There’s where the “me, me, me” of it comes into play.

When you really stop and think about it, bullies are pathetic and they’re each compensating for something they feel insecure about. They are sad, pitiful souls who should be pitied. Bullies are the lowest of human scum.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

The Bully’s Worst Nightmare: Truth

To bullies, everything is all about appearances. They work hard every day to put on the best and most convincing fronts. It’s what they’re best at.

Bullies are some of the dumbest, most incompetent people on the face of the earth, yet they’re talented at making themselves look intelligent. They make themselves look bigger, better, and more important than they truly are. They always have an image to keep up. But that image is false.

Truth shatters that image and lays bare their imperfections. Confront them with the truth about themselves, and that facade immediately melts away, and those true colors bleed through.

The truth hurts, and it’s maddening. Anytime bullies are confronted with the reality of who they are, they become enraged, going from zero to one hundred in a split second. Instant bitch mode is activated, and all hell breaks loose.

But this is a typical reaction from bullies. Their overinflated egos can’t handle being wrong and someone calling it out. It’s as if you hold a mirror up to them and show them their naked reflections and all the stretch marks, cellulite, and bumps of fat they’ve for so long kept hidden from the rest of the world.

When another person addresses a bully’s bad behavior, especially in front of an audience, they immediately bristle. They will deny it; they will fight it, but they can’t escape it.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

What is DARVO and How do You Spot It?

DARVO is just another term for gaslighting but is more in-depth. Bullies will discredit the victim by discrediting the claims.

DARVO is an acronym that stands for:

D – Deny – Anytime the target calls out their bullies’ abuse, the bullies will first deny the behavior. Bullies will counter with things like,

“That’s not what I said.”

“That never happened.”

“That’s not what I did.”

Or, they may not necessarily deny it, but may minimize their behavior by saying things like:

“It wasn’t that serious.”

“I didn’t hit you that hard. That was a love-pat compared to what I could’ve done to you.”

“If I was mad, you’d know it.”

A – Attack – Next, the bullies will attack you. They will discredit you by discrediting your claims. Also, bullies will use gaslighting to make you question or doubt yourself. And they will say to you, things like:

“You’re overreacting.”

“You’re crazy.”

“But you’re just looking for a fight.”

“You’re a drama queen.”

“You’re being paranoid.”

“But you’re being difficult.”

“You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.”

“You just won’t leave well enough alone.”

R – Reverse

V – Victim

and

O – Offender – The bullies will blame you for their behavior. They’ll claim that you did something to them to make them act the way they acted. Therefore, your bullies will make statements such as:

“It’s your fault.”

“You asked for it.”

“But you had it coming.”

“You made me hurt you.”

“You’re the bully, not me!”

I want you to know that DARVO has been around since the beginning of time, only today, it has a name. Down through history, it’s been the most common manipulation tactic of psychological abusers. Only 24 years ago did someone put a name to it! DARVO came from the work of psychologist Jennifer Freyd, PhD, who first introduced the term in late 1997.

You can read more about Dr. Freyd and DARVO here:

https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineDARVO.html

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Bullies, Psychopathy, Ego, and Moral Superiority

Bullies have low self-esteem, and they love to project their self-esteem issues onto other people. Bullies also have unrealistic negative views of the morals of their targets and unrealistic opposite views of their own morals. Bullies will also end friendships with friends, even life-long friends, who dare to have positive associations with their targets.

Many bullies love to virtue signal and trumpet their own “moral superiority,’ especially over their targets. Many bullies become social justice warriors and moral crusaders, which is all for show.

They purposefully bring up offensive topics and attack others, especially their targets, over differences of values, convictions, and opinions. Realize that the feeling of moral superiority feels good- it feels empowering. Virtue signaling and moral crusading are all done out of low self-esteem and to prove something.

The unwritten message is, “Hey! Look at me! I’m fighting for justice, so, I’m not such a bad person after all!” Bullies will say that the world sucks and needs to be changed, to send the message that they’re better than everyone else. In feeling better than everyone else, bullies get to avoid feeling so crappy about themselves.

And they can violate rules and laws because they think they’re exempt from them, but if they ever see you do it, they’re quick to call you out and crucify you for it. Bullies feel that they can do any damn thing they want but nobody else should have that luxury. It’s an example of the self-entitlement and privilege these people think they have the right to bestow on themselves.

Bullies have highly needy egos, and the ego is the source of bullying, abuse, meanness, and hatred. Bullies hate and want to hurt their targets because, in most cases, their targets are antitheses of them. Bullies want to destroy their targets in the delusion that they would feel better afterwards. But we know that they would only feel better for a little while, then they would feel the need to search for another target.

Understand that bullies are psychopaths, and they love only themselves and have no regard for anyone else. Any morality and ethics they claim to have is only a mirage. They and hate any person who dares not to agree with their grandiose views of themselves.

Bullies are masters at faking the good guys. They lie without a conscience, saying anything they think will make them look good in the eyes of others.

They try to look intelligent, and it may work for a little while but eventually, they end up doing something or saying something to reveal their stupidity. Bullies will flip flop, saying one thing now, then saying the opposite later, thinking (or hoping like the devil) that you’ve forgotten what they said the first time.

And when you have the audacity to call them out on their BS, they will throw a real monster of a tantrum and attack you to try and shut you up. Bullies are in constant need of praise. They expect people to uplift their egos and put them on a pedestal.

Bullies are simply hate-filled individuals who put on a farce of being good, upstanding people to win admiration, and with it, raw power.

When targets learn the tactics of these ego-driven psychopaths, only then will they be able to take back their personal power and send these bullying creeps packing!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

7 Types of People Bullies Pick for Targets

Have you noticed that bullies always seen to pick the same types of people to target with their bullying? Bullies pick good people, smart people, people who are creative and seem to be going places. Here are the characteristics of a typical person bullies like to select to be their punching bags:

1. Bullies like to make targets out of people who take responsibility for their lives. Targets tend to be good people who follow rules and laws. They understand that rules and laws are in place for a reason- to ensure a safe community and society.

Most targets do not go around blaming others for their actions and behavior. More often than not, targets blame themselves and try to correct their mistakes when they make them. Bullies see this and they see these people as easy to manipulate and make feel guilty for their (the bullies’) rotten behavior.

Because these people tend to blame themselves, bullies will blame these people even though it’s the bullies who have the issues and not their targets. Over time, bullies can condition targets to accept blame for things they have no control over, such as another person’s behavior.

School boy angel with wings and halo concept for being clever, good, success in education or smug

2. Bullies pick people who are goal oriented. Most targets of bullying work hard, are goal-oriented and have a truckload of self-discipline. They know that if you want anything in life, you have to work for it. Therefore, targets work like the devil to reach their goals and dreams and they have the utmost perseverance and endurance, which are characteristics that most bullies lack.

This is why many targets mistakenly stay in toxic work environments until they end up with a psychological injury from all the bullying they endure. Bullies select these people to bully because their good traits only reflect back to the bullies their own laziness, inadequacy, and lack of purpose. Bullies see these people as threats, because bullies lack self-discipline, and their relationships are usually superficial, one-sided, and short lived. And they will pull out all the stops to contain the threats.

Bullies will exploit these people’s perseverance by establishing one-sided friendships, partnerships, and romances with them. They then use the push and pull method- going hot and cold, making empty promises and love bombing the person. Bullies do this to make them hold onto the hope that just maybe the bully will give them what they’ve been wanting- acceptance, approval, attention, and praise.

But the truth is that no matter how much the person tries to better the relationship, the bullies will never be satisfied and will always find fault with him/her. Understand that one person can never sustain a relationship. It takes effort from both people!

3. Most targets of bullying are Empaths. Most targets of bullying are exceptionally empathetic people who like to help humanity. They strive for self-betterment, to empower others, and make a positive difference in the world.

This is a threat to bullies because, again, these are threats to bullies and only reflect back at them their self-centered, attention grabbing, and flawed personalities. In short, empaths force bullies to see themselves for who they truly are, and bullies will go all out to make them pay for it.

Also, bullies are masters at gaining sympathy from others. Therefore, they target people with empathy because they assume that they are the perfect to elicit sympathy from. How bullies extract sympathy from empaths is by pretending to be the real victims.

In the minds of the bullies, the target is supposed to feel terrible for them because they’ve had such a tough life. And because they (the bullies) have had it so rough, it’s why they behave like they do. So, the target is made to feel that he/she should just accept the abuse.

Understand that this is a load of bologna and it’s no excuse for being a total heel to people and treating them like garbage.

Also, empaths have difficulty setting boundaries and bullies take full advantage of it. They usually retaliate viciously when the empath finally gets tired of their crap and puts their foot down.

4. Most targets of bullying are people who make plans and think ahead. Because these people plan carefully and think ahead, they have goals and dreams that come to fruition and relationships that are solid and long lasting. Bullies are highly jealous of this and they seek these people deliberately just to tear them down.

 5. Bullies usually pick people whose communication skills need improvement. If a person’s communication skills are lacking, they will most likely suffer in silence when people violate their boundaries. Bullies rely on the target’s silence so that they can continue to bully the target and cover up their appalling behavior.

 6. Bullies select people who are givers and not takers. They love to target people who are people-pleasers and reluctant to ask for help and they select them because they see these people as easy to use and degrade. Because these people have a hard time establishing their boundaries, bullies will violate them at will and to achieve their own sick ends. Understand that bullies are takers and never givers!

 7. People who are smart. Intelligence is a huge threat to bullies. Why? Because a smart person will more than likely see through the bullies’ fake facades and call them out publicly on it. Also, just their intelligence alone can serve as a mirror and force the bullies to see their own lack of smarts and make them feel inferior. And they will seek to punish the target for that.

Why do you think kids who are smart, make straight A’s and high marks in school, and win awards are usually the ones bullied the worst? It’s because they only reflect back to the bullies their own stupidity and lack of intelligence and make them feel less than.

In order to win back your confidence and self-esteem, you must first learn the mindsets of bullies and what insecurities they have hidden inside them that cause them to bully you. Only then will you have the endurance to withstand their attacks and the confidence to counter them and defend yourself.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Short List: 15 Forces That Perpetuate Bullying

1.Domination and Control of Another.

2. The Desire to Feel Superior.

3. The Need for a Scapegoat.

4. The Need to Project.

5. To Seek Attention.

6. One-Upmanship.

7. Schadenfreude and Sadistic Pleasure.

8. To Impress Others.

9. The Desire for Social Status.

10. To Contain Threats.

11. To Keep Others Down.

12. For Entertainment.

13. To Keep from Becoming the Next Target of Bullying.

14. To Hide Weaknesses and Shortcomings.

15. To Deflect and Distract Unwanted Attention.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Arrogant, Narcissistic Bullies- Give Them Enough Rope…

Narcissistic bullies are such good actors, aren’t they? They’re good at going undetected, flying under the radar, and making themselves out to be better than what they are while making you look like the fool or the bad guy. But the good news is that sooner or later, people such as these usually wind up telling off on themselves somehow, someway, without even realizing it until it’s too late and the cat’s already out of the bag.

I’ve seen it happen before too many times when narcissistic bullies grew a little too confident. They got too sure of themselves, too loud, too obnoxious, too flippant, and then, they got stupid! They ended up unintentionally outing themselves!

Perhaps the narco didn’t realize a person in authority nearby when he got too loud and shot off his mouth. Or maybe she accidentally left a damning piece of evidence lying about and didn’t cover her tracks as well as she could have. Then again, perhaps the Narc-bully wove such a big web of lies and finally got tangled in it, or pushed things a little too far and made people not want to be around them. Either way, in the end, the narcopath stepped in it!

Understand that these types are always pushing boundaries as far as they can. Give these people an inch, and they take a mile. But give them a mile, and they take ten. With a Narco, it’s never enough. Standing up to these idiots is useless because you’ll only arouse their narcissistic rage, and they’ll spend the rest of their natural lives hunting for you and trying to get back at you. With a narcissist, everything is tit for tat, and the fight soon becomes exhausting for the victim of such erratic behavior.

These people have a “Divine Right of Kings” mentality. So, don’t fight or try to get back at a narcissistic bully because, trust me, they’ll never stop. They’ll only keep coming after you. Instead, just sit back, let the narco rant and rave and act like you don’t care. While they shout, curse, and foam at the mouth, continue to rock it- grey rock it, that is! Go no contact if it’s possible because people like these are dangerous and can hurt you.

But rest assured that eventually, the narcissist bully will screw up, and karma will visit them. They may not learn their lesson and change (few narcs ever do), but they always get what they deserve in the end, especially when they get old.

I knew a young nurse who was a narcissist bully, even had the displeasure of working with her for a while. Eventually, she got caught stealing opiates from the nursing home, where she held Director of Nursing’s title. The nursing home owners fired her, and soon after, the state revoked her license to practice as a nurse. After losing her nursing license, her husband divorced her. She then worked at one of the local cafés as a waitress before becoming ill and finally dying. Her whole life went down the crapper, and this woman had a sad and miserable ending.

I’ve even known a few elderly narcissists, and trust me. They live the most miserable and lonely existence of anyone I know. They’re the most bitter, angry, demanding, and ornery people you’ll ever meet. And why not? They’ve steamrolled others all their lives and now have no one to come for a visit nor to help them when they need it. And it’s sad!

People who know the person always make it a point to stay far away! And if by a minuscule chance some poor, unsuspecting sucker does come around, I can tell you that after spending enough time getting to know the person, they won’t be able to get out of there fast enough!

I know it seems that no one will hold these bullies responsible for their mean-spirited words or actions. I realize that narcissistic bullies have a talent for pouring on the charm and hoodwinking people into believing that they’re such good people. I understand that these types are so intimidating that they force people to take sides with them and give them what they want. And yes, I know that none of it is fair (and whoever said that life was?).

But rest assure. God doesn’t like ugly, and eventually, everything comes full circle. It may take a long time, but narcissist bullies always get back what they dish out in the end.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Bullies and Narcissistic Entitlement

Bullies of the narcissistic variety truly believe they’re better than and more important than anyone else. They believe the world revolves around them and owes them. They believe that they deserve better treatment. They think people should favor them and bow down to their every whim. They really have grandiose delusions of themselves, how others are supposed to treat them, and how the world is supposed to work.

Narcissistic bullies will take advantage of others and exploit their weaknesses for their benefit. They have no empathy and have no care how they hurt their targets. They pass unfair and ridiculous judgements on their targets, or anyone they deem inferior.

Narcissists have very fragile egos, and they feel threatened by anyone who outshines them in any way. They put up mental walls to keep threatening messages and info from penetrating their grandiose sense of self-importance and those walls are supported by the insults they hurl at their targets.

(Narcissism as a protective barrier)*

Narcissistic bullies can’t handle social rejection and they react fiercely to people they feel threatened by. Less than perfect evaluations send them into a fury. They protect and re-enforce their grandiose but fragile egos by criticizing any negative evaluations and feedback.

Many narcissistic bullies use grandiosity as a cover-up for their feelings of vulnerability, inadequacy, and incompetence. They’re deathly afraid that their shortcomings will be exposed, so, they hurl disparaging remarks and ugly names at others to distract others from their own flaws.

That’s why they need targets to project their own issues of insecurity, fear, and self-loathing. They are really quite pathetic when you stop and think about it.

It’s so easy to see why narcissists are so hateful and hurtful. They need to hurt people to feel better about themselves.

Normal people, especially confident people, don’t feel the need to constantly fire off zingers to intentionally hurt other people. Therefore, they don’t have to have a target because they have a healthy sense of self.

No. People who are truly confident and not narcissists like to get along with everyone and enjoy seeing others happy. They have a love for other people and empathy for those who are hurting.

While narcissists degrade others and need a target, healthy and confident people have a more favorable view of everyone, including people who are targets of bullying. Confident people who love themselves do not need to put others down.

On the other hand, a narcissist feels that the only way they can love themselves is to put others down- including those who aren’t necessarily a threat to their grandiose views of themselves.

Narcissists feel their value comes from having power, riches, good looks, and popularity. Whereas, confident people get theirs from having healthy relationships with the people who mean the most to them and from having positive experiences with them.

And these are the differences between narcissists and people who are truly confident.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Distraction- A Powerful Weapon for Bullies

toxic

“The essence of deception is distraction.” – Robert Greene

The bully uses distraction, often called deflection, when they use the target’s imperfections to distract other people’s attention away from their own shortcomings. It is the reason that so many people in authority, bystanders, and witnesses unjustly label targets as bullies and troublemakers.

Because bullies are highly skilled at deflecting their misdeeds onto others, people will falsely accuse innocent victims of being the instigators of arguments or fights, and perpetrators of bullying behaviors.

bullying bullied labeled

Here’s how the bully does it:

He extends acts of kindness and shows honesty in front of everyoneeveryone except his victim. He does this to charm and disarm authority and potential bystanders and witnesses. The bully fools them all into believing that he’s such a fine young man and would never mistreat another person. And he ultimately wins everyone else over to his side.

What this elaborate display of (false) kindness and authenticity does is soften everyone outside the bully/victim relationship and turn them into allies. People hungrily eat up any affection the bully extends to them. She (the bully) then sweetens the deal by inviting them out to do lunch or to hang out.

narcissist bully

But understand that she only pours on the pleasantries and charm to everyone else to trick them into feeling obligated in the event she must ask them to do some dirty work for her against her target.

If you’re a target of this type of bullying, I want you to know that your bullies don’t do this because they just happen to like everyone else but you, they do it for the sole purpose of gaining favor and loyalty from them! Realize that the bullies only see everyone else as tools and worker bees.

Have you noticed how most bullies suck up to teachers and managers?

The bully will then slyly bait her target by pushing their hot buttons and triggering them into an emotional reaction. And she will make sure that everyone is around to see the target’s breakdown or outburst.

bullying distraction pot calling the kettle black

He will also accuse the target of the same behaviors that he’s guilty of or of having the same flaws he has.

But understand that this is all part of the distraction. The bully aims to give others the illusion that you are the bully and he is the target.

Remember that most bullies can be very charming and alluring and they’re good at this game. You must know the tactics in detail, so you can call them out to protect yourself from being abused and blamed, then ultimately labeled.