6 Characteristics of The Crybully

 

Earlier, I published a post entitled, “What is a Crybully and Who is One?”  This post is more in-depth, and describes the characteristics of this type of bully. Here they are:

1. The crybully doesn’t mind provoking the target over and over, but when the victim finally gets fed up and shows their ugly side, the crybully is not only surprised but offended. Understand that the crybully feels entitled to do whatever she wants to do and that no one has the right to stop her- or even say anything against it. The crybully thinks that she is beyond reproach and that she isn’t to be questioned by anyone.

Crybullies feel that the world owes them and that they have the right to mistreat their targets. Even more astonishing is that crybullies think that their victims are just supposed to bow down to them and take the abuse- to let them harm them and take it with a smile and a yes sir/ma’am. Why? Because:

“I’m always right, and you’re always wrong.”

“I’m better than you.”

“I’m superior, and you’re inferior. And how dare you stand up to me. You have no rights as far as I’m concerned.” 

Note the quotations above and understand that, though they may never come out and say it, this is how crybullies think.

2. A crybully will gripe, whine, and complain when something they don’t like happens. Like when you call the crybully out on his BS, report or speak out about his bullying, or do anything to cause him to be held accountable for his despicable behavior? The crybully will bitch, moan, and regress into a toddler if they have to face responsibility for anything. They’ll  throw a temper tantrum, railing against the injustice and unfairness of it all. He may also do something to get back at you for daring to stand up for yourself.

Understand that crybullies must always get their way and think they can do no wrong. Many times, they will get furious with and throw a fit with the target. If the crybully is female, she may dissolve into a puddle of tears and tell not only authority but anyone who’ll listen that the target is the bully.

3. Crybullies will shout you down if you don’t agree with them or you call them out on their bad behavior. They think their words, actions, and beliefs are golden. If you happen to speak against their deplorable behavior or hold a different view, crybullies will instantly turn into petulant children, call you all kinds of ugly names and launch personal attacks against you.

4. A crybully wants everything handed to them and doesn’t like to put in the effort to earn it. Crybullies are entitled to have whatever they want when and how they want it. They don’t like to work for anything, and neither do they like to wait for it.

They’re like spoiled children. If they don’t get what they want, they will never stop bothering you until you cave in and give it to them. Crybullies do this to wear you down. However, you must only double down and resist, no matter what. So, stand firm- if for nothing more than to teach them a lesson.

5. Crybullies hate the thought of anyone else having a life better than they do. When a crybully sees someone else doing better than them at anything, it makes them feel indignant, and that life hasn’t given them a fair shake. They will often sulk and play on others’ sympathy. The crybully will also try to get back at the person for being just a little luckier than him/her.

6. They Have a victim mentality. This point takes me back to how the crybully tries to make the victim look like the bully. In some cases, the crybully deludes herself into believing that she is, in fact, the victim.

And sadly, the crybully is very successful in making others believe her drivel.

Think Nellie Olson in “Little House on the Prairie.”

There you have it, folks. If you see any of the above characteristics, you might have a crybully on your hands. The best way to battle this type of bullying is to name it and shame it. Putting a name on these things makes them so much easier to deal with and overcome.

The more you know.

Narcissistic Bullies – Just Give Them Plenty of Rope

Narcissistic bullies are such good actors, aren’t they? They’re good at going undetected, flying under the radar, and making themselves out to be better than what they are while making you look like the fool or the bad guy. But the good news is that sooner or later, people such as these usually wind up telling off on themselves somehow, someway, without even realizing it until it’s too late and the cat’s already out of the bag.

I’ve seen it happen before too many times when narcissistic bullies grew a little too confident. They got too sure of themselves, too loud, too obnoxious, too flippant, and then, they got stupid! They ended up unintentionally outing themselves!

Perhaps the narco didn’t realize a person in authority nearby when he got too loud and shot off his mouth. Or maybe she accidentally left a damning piece of evidence lying about and didn’t cover her tracks as well as she could have. Then again, perhaps the Narc-bully wove such a big web of lies and finally got tangled in it, or pushed things a little too far and made people not want to be around them. Either way, in the end, the narcopath stepped in it!

Arrogant young Caucasian man with three female admirers

Understand that these types are always pushing boundaries as far as they can. Give these people an inch, and they take a mile. But give them a mile, and they take ten. With a Narco, it’s never enough. Standing up to these idiots is useless because you’ll only arouse their narcissistic rage, and they’ll spend the rest of their natural lives hunting for you and trying to get back at you. With a narcissist, everything is tit for tat, and the fight soon becomes exhausting for the victim of such erratic behavior.

These people have a “Divine Right of Kings” mentality. So, don’t fight or try to get back at a narcissistic bully because, trust me, they’ll never stop. They’ll only keep coming after you. Instead, just sit back, let the narco rant and rave and act like you don’t care. While they shout, curse, and foam at the mouth, continue to rock it- grey rock it, that is! Go no contact if it’s possible because people like these are dangerous and can hurt you.

But rest assured that eventually, the narcissist bully will screw up, and karma will visit them. They may not learn their lesson and change (few narcs ever do), but they always get what they deserve in the end, especially when they get old.

I knew a young nurse who was a narcissist bully, even had the displeasure of working with her for a while. Eventually, she got caught stealing opiates from the nursing home, where she held Director of Nursing’s title. The nursing homeowners fired her, and soon after, the state revoked her license to practice as a nurse. After losing her nursing license, her husband divorced her. She then worked at one of the local cafés as a waitress before becoming ill and finally dying. Her whole life went down the crapper, and this woman had a sad and miserable ending.

I’ve even known a few elderly narcissists, and trust me. They live the most miserable and lonely existence of anyone I know. They’re the most bitter, angry, demanding, and ornery people you’ll ever meet. And why not? They’ve steamrolled others all their lives and now have no one to come for a visit nor to help them when they need it. And it’s sad!

People who know the person always make it a point to stay far away! And if by a minuscule chance some poor, unsuspecting sucker does come around, I can tell you that after spending enough time getting to know the person, they won’t be able to get out of there fast enough!

A selfish businessman clings to a balloon called the ego, and a big hand with a needle intends to burst it. Conceptual scene the higher you fly, the harder they fall

I know it seems that no one will hold these bullies responsible for their mean-spirited words or actions. I realize that narcissistic bullies have a talent for pouring on the charm and hoodwinking people into believing that they’re such good people. I understand that these types are so intimidating that they force people to take sides with them and give them what they want. And yes, I know that none of it is fair (and whoever said that life was?.

But rest assure. God doesn’t like ugly, and eventually, everything comes full circle. It may take a long time, but narcissist bullies always get back what they dish out in the end. Always remember that.