8 Reasons Why You Should Let Them Talk

gossip rumors lies talk

Gossips are everywhere! Too many people worry needlessly about what people are saying about them. But here’s the thing, people talk. They’re going to have something to say about you until the day you die. Get used to it. Better, yet embrace it! Love it!

Here’s Why:

1. When people talk about you, they make you relevant! Good or bad, it means you’re an exciting topic- you’re not dull. Remember that it’s much better to be good or bad than to be boring.

2. When people engage in petty gossip about you, it means that they can’t get you off their minds. Somehow, someway, positive or negative, you’ve made an impact on them. You’ve stirred emotions up in them.

3. When people talk about you, it means they don’t have lives of their own and are obsessed with yours, which means your life must be more exciting than theirs.

4. When people talk behind your back, they reveal much more about themselves than they do you. Remember the old proverb, “Great minds discuss ideas, Average minds discuss events, and Small minds discuss people.”

5. When people can’t shut up about you, you’re the one who’s in control of them. Because you occupy a large amount of space in their minds, you’ve affected them profoundly and with little or no effort.

6. The people who blab about you expend a lot of their energy on you while you get to save yours. They’re thinking of you without getting so much as a thought from you.

7. When you’re the topic of others’ discussions, it means that they’re your fans, only they don’t know it.

It’s important to reframe the situation. And smile as you’re the hottest topic around! Haters make you famous!

8. In a nutshell, when people can’t stop running their mouths about you, it only means that you have a tremendous amount of power over them and you didn’t have to make an effort to get that power! Yay, you!

So don’t give their talk any validation by reacting. Just sit back and be amused by the talkers, provided it’s just petty gossip and not defamation. I’ll distinguish between the two in a future post.

The Damage Hate Does to the Hater (Not the Hated)

As a survivor of severe bullying and peer-abuse, I’ve seen the faces of hate- up close and personal. And let me tell you, they’re ugly! Hate, itself, is ugly! And dangerous!

I know what it looks like. I’ve felt it’s powerful and painful sting and I’ve been paralyzed by it. I’ve even had it directed toward others in those days, I’m sorry to say. However, I don’t believe people fully understand the damage it does to not only the hated, but the hater!

The reality is that hate causes the hater more pain than it does the hated. I say this because I’ve witnessed it. In the past, I’ve looked into the eyes of my bullies in school- deep into their eyes- down into their souls!

I saw the darkness, the ugliness, the black abyss of pure evil from the deepest pits of hell. And I truly believe that if there wasn’t a law against murder or manslaughter, I probably wouldn’t be here today.

That was the kind of hate many of my classmates had for me. I saw how it would burn them up inside. ‘You see? That’s what hate does. When you have hatred for another person, you’re only hurting yourself.

Because it will eat you up inside and make you crazy. Hate is a sick and twisted obsession and it can take over your life if you allow it to.

Hatred can destroy your happiness and prospects. It skews your judgement and ability to think clearly. It causes you to make horrible decisions- decisions that can alter the entire trajectory of your life and that of your target.

When a person has hatred for another human being, it numbs their conscience, dulls their reasoning capabilities. They will condone things they would otherwise deem immoral and evil. The hater will approve of the most depraved, heinous, and atrocious atrocities directed toward the hated person they would otherwise disapprove of, even condemn, if it was against anyone else, even a total stranger.

Hate turns even the kindest, most caring people into depraved monsters. Realize that hate destroys haters and targets alike. Hate kills.

Indifference is a better option than hate. Because with indifference, you could absolutely care less if the person is doing good or bad, what he thinks, what he says, or what he does. You just don’t care period.

With hate, on the other hand. You do care because all you want is for the hated person to suffer. You want to make sure nothing good happens for the hated and seek to destroy them and their life, even the lives of those they love. You want to make sure all opportunities are closed off to that person. That’s what hate does. It causes haters to obsess over the hated.

So, if you’re a target of bullies, let them go ahead and hate on you. But don’t hate them back. Instead, be indifferent toward them, and how you do that is to stop caring what others think and do your thing, baby!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Why Targets of Bullying Should Never Give into Hate

Sadly, hate is too easy for bullying targets to get sucked into. When people have treated you so horrifically for long enough, you lose faith in humanity and begin believing that all people are self-serving lowlifes who enjoy seeing other human beings suffer. You soon become the very people you’re suspicious of. I’ve been there.

Targets of bullying often feel that their hate is justified. However, does this intense loathing serve any purpose or have benefits? No!

No matter how you were wronged by a person, never give in to hate. No matter how severely that person may have transgressed against you, do not, under any circumstances, allow yourself to hate them because hate is poisonous! Not to the other person but to YOU!

Here’s why:

Hate burns you up inside. It eats down into your very soul and prolongs feelings of hurt, depression, and downright misery.

Hate doesn’t hurt the person being hated. It hurts you because nine times out of ten, the person you hate either doesn’t know about it, or they don’t care.

Anytime you hold hate in your heart against anyone, you unwittingly give up any blessings and forego any opportunities, which would otherwise come your way. You instead invite negativity and evil into your world. You end up forfeiting your own happiness, and life is too short to be anything but happy.

While you are sitting around stewing over some idiot who has wronged you in the past, that same idiot is going about their merry way and not giving you so much as a thought.

While you are holding grudges and plotting ways to get back at them, that person is just getting on with life. They are not worried about you. They are not thinking about you. So why do you think about them? They are a complete waste of brain activity!

Hate, insecurity, grudges, anger- they are all garbage in your life that needs to be disposed of. It’s time to take out the trash and take back the peace and happiness that you not only deserve but have a divine right to.

You deserve to be happy, and the only way you will find happiness is to let go of any grudges and hate and replace them with love and acceptance. It is what I had to do before I could be happy.

The Damage Hate Does to The Hater

As we know, although the hated are affected by hatred, hate does more damage to the hater than to the hated because it eats the hater’s soul out from the inside. Here’s what else hate does to the hater.

It numbs their conscience and dulls their reasoning. Their minds are so consumed that all they can focus on are ways to harm the object of their hatred. It causes them to give a pass to things they would otherwise deem the most depraved, most heinous, and the most appalling atrocities just as long as they’re committed against the person they hate.

This is why hate can turn the kindest people into the vilest monsters. Because if it’s someone they hate taking the most insidious abuse, they’re more likely to stand by and watch it happen- and with a smile on their face.

The hater will be kind and gentle to anyone else, even total strangers, but to the person they hate, they will only brutalize.

Understand that if you’re a target of bullying and the object of hate, your bullies and haters have a sick and twisted obsession with you. They can’t get you out of their minds and they want to hurt you as much as they possibly can. Yes! Hate is an obsession. And it won’t only destroy you if you let it. It will destroy your bullies too.

The bright side of being hated is this. You can choose whether to let your haters get to you or not.

You have the delicious power to re-frame your thinking and realize that the hate is only hurting your haters. That their hate comes from something inside them, not something you did or said and not because there’s something wrong with you.

Then you can sit back, eat your popcorn, and watch them eat their hearts out and self-destruct. There’s a degree of dignity in being hated.