There’s a reason why I make it a point never to worry until it’s time to worry. What’s going to happen will happen, and I refuse to worry about things that haven’t occurred yet- and may never come to pass.
Too many people worry needlessly, which is why we had the stock market drop and the numerous closings and shortages of necessities back in March 2020 when COVID first hit. Was and is COVID something to be concerned about? Absolutely! But was and is it something to panic over. No.
The COVID crisis is just an example. But even before the crisis, people worried needlessly.
“Oh, my God! My girlfriend is going to leave me!”
“My boss is mad at me! I’m going to get fired!”
“My grandmother is 89 years old! Oh, no! She’s going to die soon!”
“Oh, no! We have a thunderstorm, so a tornado is likely to hit!
“I’m afraid to drive a car because I could have an accident and die!”
“My kid is not studying! He’s going to make bad grades!”
“Oh, no! China is mad at us and is likely to invade us!”
There’s nothing wrong with being concerned over something if there’s a threat. But to freak out over it as if it’s going to end the world doesn’t help matters any.
No one is saying that you should put on rose-colored glasses and pretend that everything’s peachy king because to go to the opposite extreme is just as dangerous. But never should we run out and buy a five-year supply of toilet paper. There’s a middle ground that we should stay in.
Studies show that over half the things we incessantly worry about never end up coming true. So, again. Should we worry excessively?
Understand that excessive worry only stops us from being able to think clearly and blocks our ability to make good choices and decisions. If we’re too worried, we’re more likely to make the wrong decisions to try and contain a perceived threat. Also, it lessens our capacity to focus on real problems.
But if we lessen our worry, we’re more likely to come up with better solutions to our problems.
And the best part is, if we train ourselves not to worry excessively, we’ll have more happiness and peace of mind.
So relax. Live in the moment and be present in it. Enjoy the good times while they’re here.
Any time a person has been the object of relentless bullying at work or school over an extended period of time, that person comes to be in a constant state of high alert. Although useful in short, immediate circumstances, this hyper-vigilance can be unhealthy if the person remains in this state for too long, causing stomach issues, headaches, and fatigue, among many other ailments.
Even worse, such a continuous feeling of being under threat can also cause the person to overreact in response to certain occurrences.
Here’s an excerpt from “From Victim to Victor (A Survivor’s True Story of Her Experiences with School Bullying).”
“…Every living creature has an innate and perfectly natural physiological reaction in the event of a threat or attack. Called the Fight or Flight Response, it protects us from harm in dangerous situations in part through the release of adrenaline. When adrenaline is released into the blood, it becomes next to impossible not to do either of two things- fight or flee.
When I was being bullied and abused during school, escape was not an option for me. Usually, I was cornered or surrounded, either backed into a wall or some large object. With flight cut off to me as an option, what did I have left? Fight! I lived on this adrenaline every day, all day long. Just being around my classmates put my body and mind on constant alert. It was a horrible way to live.
Getting on the school bus and walking through the entrance to the school felt like a death march. In the afternoons, I had horrible headaches that triggered violent nausea. For so long, I had managed to keep from vomiting.
Eventually, my luck ran out. I recall an afternoon in English class when my mouth and eyes began to water. I swallowed hard to control my gag reflexes as I approached the teacher’s desk to ask to be excused to the bathroom.
‘What do you want?’ Mrs. Caraway asked rudely.
‘I don’t feel good.’ I replied.
Without a word, she gave me the hall pass, and I scurried my way to the girls’ room, barely making it to the first stall before launching a stream of the bitterest, most horrible tasting green liquid into the toilet.
This was followed by a long series of dry heaves, which were quite painful. Instead of making me feel better, the vomiting made me feel worse, and my headache became next to unbearable.
I’ll never forget the sound of the bathroom door as it flung open and the teacher stormed in, demanding to know why I was taking so long. I began to cry and, in between gags and wretches, pleaded with her to let me go to the office and call my grandmother….”
She accused me of making myself vomit so I could go home early.
When you’re a bullied kid, even a few teachers, having heard the rumors and falsehoods being spread about you, begin to bully you too. It’s a very lonely and heartbreaking position to be in.
As time went on, the fear of going to school and having to face my classmates grew in me. It was like an infected tumor getting bigger and bigger with each passing day. My stomach would draw up every morning when I set foot on that school bus.
The next eight hours were like walking through a minefield, never knowing when my next step could mean BOOM! and I would be hit, shoved, kicked, or bombarded with a torrent of taunts, insults, and names. It was a situation I saw no end to, and to say that I was afraid would be an understatement. I was petrified.
Most never think of the magnitude of fear the victim must live with or the health consequences of living in that perpetual state of fight or flight. And sadly, although the impact on the victim’s physical health may not show up right away, it may rear its ugly head later in life.
But this doesn’t only happen in school; it happens in the workplace also. What was believed to only happen to school-aged people also happens to adults in the workplace. Bullying knows no age group.
Many bullied victims get into serious trouble when the bullying finally escalates and becomes physical. Every day, innocent targets are unjustly suspended and expelled from school or fired from work because they were forced into fight mode to defend themselves.
Child abuse with the eye of a young boy or girl with a single tear crying due to the fear of violence or depression caused by hunger and poverty and being afraid of bullying at school.
Bullies have a real flair for charming and seducing supervisors, managers, teachers, and staff, lying very convincingly and making the target look like the aggressor. Targets are often severely punished for nothing more than trying to protect themselves, while the bullies are either given a slap on the wrist or escape with complete impunity.
However, school staff and workplace management should know well that, just like all God’s creatures, bullying targets have this fight or flight instinct.
It’s only natural that if you corner a dog and kick it enough times, sooner or later, you’ll get bit!