What Babies Can Teach Us About Confidence

Babies are so adorable! They have that charm and innocence that no other age group has. They don’t worry about what others think of them and they never try to impress others. These little darlings display sweetness, purity, complete authenticity, and hearts of gold.

Babies have not a care in the world what people think of them. They have no inhibitions whatsoever. They’re not afraid to cry and express their wants and needs. You can see it in the way little toddlers shamelessly coo, laugh, babble, skip, run, and dance. And they’ll do it in front of anyone. These little sweeties are fearless. They’re not afraid to show their emotions, express their thoughts, show their creativity.

Furthermore, their precious little souls are completely open. They give, share, and receive love with an open and grateful heart. They love being loved and doted on and will receive it with a soft coo or laugh.

Everything starts with self-love and babies are a perfect example of it.

Sadly, as time passes and these babies grow bigger, the ways of people and the world slowly and incrementally taint their little hearts. Many grow up in toxic environments and with parents who excessively criticize and abuse them.

Therefore, they build a protective wall around themselves to try and keep the contamination out. Because family members and others discount, ridicule, even punish them for their feelings, they learn to mask those feelings. They collect emotional baggage as they become preschoolers, school-aged kids, then teenagers, and finally, adults.

Also, many are raised by drug-addicted, mentally ill, and neglectful adults and they build walls to protect themselves from that as well. Therefore, many must learn to raise themselves.

None of us have low self-esteem and lack of confidence at birth. Either ell-meaning family members who wish to keep us humble and sweet, instill those characteristics in us or bullies and abusers force-fed them to us.

Consequently, many adults will cause a baby to grow up thinking that they are unlovable. They don’t feel they deserve to have their wants and needs met. Thus, they grow up filled with either anger and self-loathing, or sadness and depression.

Life Has Ways of Eroding That Confidence and Goodness We Were Born With.

We all go through these terrible changes, even those who aren’t bullied. Only few people in this world manage to keep that confidence and joy they were born with. Furthermore, life’s disappointments, hurts, and heartaches have ways of doing these things to all of us. However, the worse changes happen to targets of bullying and abuse.

They stop expressing emotions and give up asking for anything. Why? Because sometime during their childhoods, other people conditioned them. They conditioned them to think that they’re self-centered and wrong for ever needing or wanting anything out of life.

Therefore, they resign themselves to the attitude that, things are “just the way they are” and that there’s nothing they can do to change anything.

Consequently, when you tell them about self-love and how important it is, they wince at the idea because it makes them uncomfortable. But, again, other people program them to think that self-love is somehow self-absorbed and evil. I can relate to this because, when I was thirteen and fourteen years old, I did the exact same when I was first told about the idea of self-love and self-care.

The thought of looking at myself in the mirror every day and telling myself “I love you” or “You’re beautiful,” “You’re Smart,” “You’re awesome,” etc., felt both weird. In fact, it felt downright sickening because I was under the impression that it was all a sign of sheer vanity.

It’s Sad When People Can Successfully Condition You to Believe that Self-love is Vanity

Self-love can feel downright painful after you’ve wasted years and decades hating and degrading yourself. After all, it’s not something you’re accustomed to practicing. Anything new and out of the ordinary feels painful at first. Like all things, it must first become a habit. And it can only become habit through rigorous learning and practice.

‘You see? My bullies and a few abusive others sold me on the idea that any form of self-care or self-love was abhorrent and self-serving. I was under the misguided belief that self-degradation and self-criticism was a virtue. It was a sign of being humble and meek. Therefore, I thought that was what normal people did, as I watched a few family members do the same thing.

Some of my family members still do this at times and it breaks my heart. If only they could see, I mean, truly see their value. . In my eyes, their worth is more than that of gold.

The truth is that self-hatred is the equivalent of having a millstone hung from your neck. You drag it around everywhere you go because it’s exhausting. Therefore, it zaps your energy. It takes the magic, wonder, and excitement from your life. And it keeps you stuck and worse, invites more disrespect and abuse from others.

Self-love doesn’t equal Vanity, It equals Virtue!

Self-love can only come from within, never from without. It doesn’t come from a partner, a spouse, or a boatload of friends. It can’t come from a banging body or fancy clothes, hairdos, or makeup. Money can’t buy self-love. Power doesn’t give it to you and neither does prestige. Self-love comes from the heart and only the heart.

Additionally, self-love is about self-acceptance and being perfectly okay with your imperfections. It comes from being comfortable in your own skin and not caring even the slightest what others think or say of you.

In order to find peace and joy in life, self-love is a must-have. It helps you to achieve your goals and realize your dreams and aspirations. It determines your outcomes- whether you succeed or fail. Also, it helps you to better re-frame bad situations and see them as learning experiences. Self-esteem and self-love give you peace of mind.

In a nutshell, self-love gives you complete freedom! It is the key to happiness and joy!

Don’t you think you deserve to be at peace with yourself? Don’t you think you deserve happiness and joy? I do.

So, be like a baby. Love yourself. Know that your true colors are vibrant and never be afraid to show them. Dance like you’ve never been ridiculed. And play like you’ve never fallen and scraped your knee. Express your emotions. Love, laugh, and live.

You’ll be surprised at how everything will change for the better! I promise!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Foolishness

Although healthy, forgiveness doesn’t mean you think what they did to you was okay. Far from it. What it means is that you refuse to let those who transgressed against you set up camp in your mind. It means that you refuse to hold onto grudges that may block you from your rightful blessings. In this, you make room for growth and success.

Sadly, too may people think that forgiveness means that you must become buddy-buddy with the person and have something to do with them. They then wonder why they keep getting hurt. Realize that bullies only see forgiveness as a weakness and stupidity. They view forgiveness as a green light to continue their abuse because they take for granted that you’ll always be okay with it.

Understand that forgiveness doesn’t obligate you to interact with the person who did you wrong. It doesn’t mean you continue to be someone’s fool. You can forgive someone and still realize that they’re no good. Toxic people are dead weight and though you may forgive them, you realize that it’s still best to keep them at arm’s length.

You’re strong enough to forgive but wise enough to avoid toxic people.

You avoid them because you realize that these people will only take your forgiveness for foolishness. Because these people have a history of pushing your boundaries, you’re forgiving, yet assertive.

Forgiveness is great because it gives you peace of mind. However, if you continue to allow these people to have a place in your life, they will only continue to take advantage of you. You don’t have to be mean to or mistreat them but there’s no law that says you have to trust them again. It’s better that you don’t trust them.

Some people you must forgive from afar.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Reasons to be Grateful

Gratitude has a way of making life much better- it has a way of taking the sting out of any adversity you may face. It also helps you to put things in perspective. Gratitude isn’t about having delusions of grandeur. In fact, it’s far from it. It’s about realizing the blessings you have and counting them- making you realize that there is beauty in life if you look for it.

I will admit that sometimes, I forget to count my blessings and am not as thankful as I should be, we all get that way sometimes, especially when things don’t go as planned. However, as long as we realize it, we can quickly get back on the right track.

There are many things I am grateful for:

1. An awesome family who is close-knit and supportive of one another. I’m thankful for the love and togetherness we share and that we have healthy relationships with one another.

2. I’m thankful for my husband, Mike. Although we’ve had our ups and downs, we live each other very much. He is affectionate and open with me about everything. He works hard and takes care of me. Best of all, he supports me in my blogging and publishing of my books, which is something I thoroughly enjoy. I couldn’t ask for a better husband!

3. I’m grateful for my children. They have grown to be responsible adults who work hard, lead productive lives, and believe in God.

4. I’m grateful to have escaped bullying and eventually gotten to know my value and the good I bring to the table. I thank God everyday for opening my eyes and helping me to restore my confidence and peace of mind.

There are so many more things on my Gratitude List but if I wrote it all down, the list would be so long I’d use up all my storage space.

What are you grateful for today? Feel free to comment below.

Freedom

It’s being who you are and doing it unapologetically.

It’s saying what you feel without guilt.

It’s having the courage to walk away from toxic people and bad energy.

It’s relying on yourself and not others for happiness.

It’s having your own views and opinions.

It’s being fearless, or, more appropriately, doing it scared.

It’s feeling free to be a little silly sometimes.

Happiness Isn’t a Pursuit, It’s a Choice.

Many don’t know it but it’s true. Happiness doesn’t just happen to a lucky few. It doesn’t fall into your lap and it isn’t magically given. We choose happiness.

Once upon a time, I was one of the most negative people you ever met. I soon grew tired of being miserable and begin doing a lot of reading. That’s when my eyes were opened and I finally put in the time and the work to change my thoughts and attitudes.

And in changing those things, I changed my life. This is not to say that everything is perfect. I still have days when things don’t go the way I want. The only difference is that I no longer see it as the end of the world.

There are even times I get angry or upset, but the difference is that I don’t set up shop and stay there. I usually bounce back pretty quickly.

But how do you attain happiness?

Here’s how:

1. By checking your thoughts – it starts with a single thought. Anytime a negative or depressing thought crosses our minds, and they will, we must catch it and replace it with one that is positive. Once we begin to do this, it’ll slowly become a habit. Keep it up long enough and it will become like second nature.

And you’ll be so surprised how your life will change when positive people and experiences will suddenly begin flowing into your life.

2. By not sweating the small stuff – the small stuff are what people think and say of us. You shouldn’t worry about it because these people don’t matter and either do their opinions and petty remarks. Forget about them and continue to do you.

3. By doing what you love and enjoy the most – Do what fulfills you. Engage in hobbies and interests. You must create opportunities to enjoy yourself.

4. By spending time with the people you love – Hold your family and closest friends close to your heart. Visit them often and don’t lose touch.

5. By learning something new every day – if you’re not learning, you’re stagnating. Reading and learning new things can be exciting and it helps you grow! So, grab a good book or read articles. I guarantee that it will pay off huge dividends!

6. By finding a hobby if you don’t already have one – hobbies are fun, and they keep your mind off the bad stuff. They also give you a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment!

7. By staying away from drama – Others’ moods have a way of rubbing off on you. So, stay far away from anyone who’s immersed in the drama. Otherwise, they’ll smother and kill your vibe!

Do these things and I promise you! You’ll be on your way to joy!

Happiness Is A Choice

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Many don’t know it but it’s true. Happiness doesn’t just happen to a lucky few. It doesn’t fall into your lap and it isn’t magically given. We choose happiness.

Once upon a time, I was one of the most negative people you ever met. I soon grew tired of being miserable and begin doing a lot of reading. That’s when my eyes were opened and I finally put in the time and the work to change my thoughts and attitudes.

And in changing those things, I changed my life. This is not to say that everything is perfect. I still have days when things don’t go the way I want. The only difference is that I no longer see it as the end of the world.

dreamstime_xs_66110919

There are even times I get angry or upset, but the difference is that I don’t set up shop and stay there. I usually bounce back pretty quickly.

But how do you attain happiness?

Here’s how:

1. By checking your thoughts – it starts with a single thought. Anytime a negative or depressing thought crosses our minds, and they will, we must catch it and replace it with one that is positive. Once we begin to do this, it’ll slowly become a habit. Keep it up long enough and it will become like second nature.

And you’ll be so surprised how your life will change when positive people and experiences will suddenly begin flowing into your life.

dreamstime_xs_6811032

2. By not sweating the small stuff – the small stuff are what people think and say of us. You shouldn’t worry about it because these people don’t matter and either do their opinions and petty remarks. Forget about them and continue to do you.

3. By doing what you love and enjoy the most – Do what fulfills you. Engage in hobbies and interests. You must create opportunities to enjoy yourself.

4. By spending time with the people you love – Hold your family and closest friends close to your heart. Visit them often and don’t lose touch.

dreamstime_xs_172522160

5. By learning something new every day – if you’re not learning, you’re stagnating. Reading and learning new things can be exciting and it helps you grow! So, grab a good book or read articles. I guarantee that it will pay off huge dividends!

6. By finding a hobby if you don’t already have one – hobbies are fun, and they keep your mind off the bad stuff. They also give you a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment!

dreamstime_xs_162404049

7. By staying away from drama – Others’ moods have a way of rubbing off on you. So, stay far away from anyone who’s immersed in drama. Otherwise, they’ll smother and kill your vibe!

Do these things and I promise you! You’ll be on your way to joy!