Reasons You Have Haters

Many of the greatest, most tender-hearted, and level-headed people I know have a pack of haters behind them. And many of them don’t understand why. Down through the years, I’ve heard them ask, “What did I ever do to them?” or “I know I’m not a bad person and I treat everyone how I would want to be treated. So, what is it that they (the haters) think is wrong with me?” I’ve got to admit it. I asked the same questions many times when I was young and it happened to me. But here’s a little assurance.

First, if you are one of those good people who certain others hate on, and you yourself are asking yourself the same questions, let me tell you: You didn’t do anything to them. In fact, you did nothing wrong. Secondly, what they think is wrong with you doesn’t matter. What they think period doesn’t matter. And there’s nothing wrong with you. I want you to know that you’re okay. You’re enough. And you’re awesome just the way you are.

I know what you’re likely to say next and you’re probably thinking it now: “But there’s got to be some reason they hate me so much.”

And you’re right. There are many reasons your haters hate you. But those reasons have nothing to do with you, and here they are:

1. They don’t have a life. …or one that’s meaningful. Most haters aren’t what they appear to be. Many are life losers who have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. So, they have nothing better to do than to hate on others. Many of these types of haters are broke, jobless, partner-less, and live in their mommy’s basement.

To feel better about themselves, they’ll troll your social media pages, make incendiary comments, and post vile things about you. If they happen to be local to your area and you know them, they’ll talk trash about you behind your back and try to kill your reputation, your opportunities and prospects. These types of haters are bored with life and the only entertainment and rush of endorphins they can get is to cause drama in other people’s lives.

These are the types of people you should feel sorry for because they live truly miserable and pathetic lives. And the only way they can feel powerful is to ruin other people’s lives. Sadly, we have so many people like that today, and many of them get involved in the cancel culture that’s so prevalent. Again, understand that this is a last-ditch effort for them to achieve power. And sadly, it seems to work for them.

2. They’re not happy in their lives. This can go hand in hand with number 1. However, some people can have everything, a good job, a nice home, good family, and still not be happy. What they lack is contentment. Or, it could be that they aren’t happy with some things in their life. Whatever it may be, their attitude is this. If they can’t be happy, then by George, they’re going to make sure you’re not happy either.

They want to take away your peace of mind and bring you down to their level of misery. And you aren’t the only one. There are probably other people they do this to as well. Again, this person is a miserable individual and you shouldn’t hate them back, you should only pity them.

Jealousy

3. You have something they don’t have. No one ever said life was fair. Some people can, and some can’t. Some have, and some don’t. It’s a hard part of reality that makes some people angry because they can’t seem to figure out how to obtain the things they want. So, they hate on anyone who has the things they (the haters) have been longing for and who has life a little easier than they do.

4. Jealousy. This goes back to you having something your haters don’t have and those poor souls not being happy in their lives. Whether it’s an admirable trait you may have, such as the ability to make friends easily, or how you look, what you have, or even the ability to be happy, haters want to take it all from you because they don’t have it and don’t think they can ever get it.

5. Your good qualities are a threat to them- In other words, you make them look bad. You cause them to compare themselves with you and see you as competition. And if they ever feel like you’re winning over them, look out!

Therefore, realize that you aren’t at fault here. It was nothing you said or did to ruffle their feathers and there’s nothing wrong with you. You are enough. In fact, you are awesome! Your haters only say otherwise to mess with your mind and throw you off balance. Don’t let them do that to you!

Haters can stress you out, yes. But they can also motivate you. So, be your best self and keep your haters blabbing. Think about it. Your haters are the ones who keep you relevant.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Never Let Bad Eggs Make You Feel Rotten

All through life, you will encounter negative and downright toxic people. You meet these mouth-breathers at school, work, the neighborhood, or (gasp) in the family. They’re everywhere and come in all flavors. These kinds of people always seem to take the energy out of the room and suck the oxygen out of the people around them. They’re annoying, obnoxious, and some can be downright intimidating.

These are people who make you feel uncomfortable, terrible about yourself, and worst of all unstable.

With that said, bad eggs are the angry, jealous, and resentful type. They put on a good act and talk a good game, but the proof is in how they treat you. And they will say and do things to try and make you feel bad about yourself.

These people will search for anything about you that they can use against you. They will even turn your good and positive qualities against you and make them seem bad.

For instance, if you are generally a happy person who likes to laugh and have a good time, these types will say that you’re fake and that your laughter is fake. If you have talents and gifts and like to display them, they’ll accuse you of showing off and trying to get attention.

If you’ve made an accomplishment or reached any kind of success, these killjoys will trivialize it by saying that the success you made could’ve been made by anyone. If you won an award, they’ll claim that you didn’t get the award because you either knew people in high places or that you kissed up to them somehow.

If you have a loving spouse and good family, bad eggs will go out of their way to find something wrong with that. If you have a little bit of money, they’ll claim you didn’t work for it but got an inheritance. Or they’ll claim you obtained it either illegally or unjustly.

These rotten bananas will also bully and abuse you- give you a hard time if there’s anything in life you have that they don’t, or you have things just a little bit easier than they do. It’s as if they’re trying to punish you because they think you have it so good.

But don’t let it get to you because that’s what they want. Rest assured that none of it is your fault and that there’s nothing wrong with you.

Understand that their behavior says everything about them and zero about you. It says that they have serious mental issues and that they need help. It also says that these people feel insecure about something or many things in their own lives and their desire is to drag you down in the gutter with them.

When people are brutal to us, our first instinct is to blame ourselves, try to figure out what’s wrong, then fix it. But realize that there’s no need to fix what isn’t broken. And you’re not the one with the issue.

Instead, reframe your thinking and realize that it’s them and not you. Only then will you feel better about yourself. Even better, you might find that you feel sorry for them instead of resenting or hating them for the way they treat you. And believe me, most people with any pride would much rather be hated than pitied.

Bullies will care less about your anger and hate toward them. But they’ll resent and even loathe it when you pity them. There’s dignity in being hated but never in being pitied.

Different Quotes About Bullies, Creeps, Jerks, and Haters

“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.”  – Coretta Scott King, widow of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“Don’t hate what you can’t imitate!”  – Unknown.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt, former first lady and diplomat.

“Haters are my motivators.” – Nicki Minaj, American rapper and singer-songwriter.

“Hatred makes us all ugly.” – Laurell K. Hamilton, American writer.

“Haters never win. I just think that’s true about life because negative energy always costs in the end.” – Tom Hiddleston, English actor.

“There’s a certain logic to avoiding haters, but as a strategy, it’s utterly flawed. When you turn off the feedback, you lose the benefits as well as the drawbacks. It’s like having a sore finger and cutting off your arm.” – Rob Manuel, American digital artist.

“The haters always scream the loudest.” – Tucker Max, American Author.

“Something about winning attracts losers with opinions.” – Unknown.

“Haters are cowards. When confronted, they often back down. We must resist haters.” – Janet Reno, former U.S. Attorney General.

“I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.” – Booker T. Washington, American author and civil rights leader.

“Make your supporters proud and your haters jealous.” – Unknown.

“It is only out of ignorance that people are cruel because they don’t think it will come back.” – Maya Angelou, American writer.

“An open enemy is better than a false friend.” – Greek proverb.

Always give your best. Never get discouraged. Never be petty. Others may hate you. But those who hate you don’t win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.” – Richard M. Nixon, 37th U.S. President.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss

Narcissists, Bullies, and Jealousy

Bullies see any recognition the target gets for a good deed, high marks, an accomplishment, or success as the target’s having diminished them somehow. If you’re a target, these types of bullies will only see any success you enjoy as a reflection on them.

You force them to think about and take stock of their own successes and failures. Understand that it’s the bullies’ self-focus that sets the stage for their anger and hostility toward you. They will personalize your success as if you’re an opponent who’s competing with them for the same prize.

The bullies are forced to compare themselves with you because they’re afraid that other people will consider them less worthy or important than you. They feel invisible and left out because they’re not getting the praise that you’re getting. So, they get a sense of disregard from others.

But rather than have normal feelings of disappointment and regret, they have anger and hatred toward you.

Although you never harm them, the bullies feel a sense of injustice because they feel that you don’t deserve the recognition, but they do. They feel wronged and very much entitled to their anger and hostility.

Bullies will then accuse you of thinking you’re better than they are- as if they know what you’re thinking. And they really do think they can read your mind correctly, which then only further arouses their anger and hate.

Again, according to the bullies’ logic, you’ve wronged them somehow so, you are the enemy. And this perceived wrong that you’ve done compels the bullies to act hostile toward you because the bullies’ egos have been bruised by your successes and accomplishments.

Just as money is the root of evil, the ego is the root of jealousy. And bullies have enormous egos!

Why Bullies Discourage Targets from Pursuing Their Goals

“The reason bullies tell you, ‘You can’t,’ is because they fear that you can and are even more afraid that you will.”

If you’re working hard to better your life and pursue your goals and dreams, bullies  will discourage and dishearten you if you aren’t careful. If you’re a target of bullying, understand that it’s nothing more than psy-ops bullies are trying to use against you.

It’s all designed to suppress you and make you afraid of even trying because you risk the possibility of failing. Why? Because bullies know that if you keep trying  long enough, you’re very likely to succeed.

Bullies can’t handle the successes of anyone. And they most definitely can’t take it if it’s achieved by anyone they deem inferior. Realize that a bully’s feelings of power and superiority come from one-upmanship, and when his/her target succeeds at anything, it undermines that sense of superiority.

Jealousy

Proverbially, it takes bullies down a notch or two, which makes them angry and desire to put the target “back in their place.”

When you reach success, expect this type of attitude and behavior from your bullies. Know that it will reignite a lot of rage and jealousy in them. It will also induce the need to take revenge. “How dare you!” They will want to get even. No way will they stand for you rising above them!

When this happens, don’t be surprised. Instead of feeling bad, feel good because it only shows that your bullies are jealous and desperate to have what you have. Expect people to act ignorant and never apologize for any successes you’ve had.

With knowledge comes empowerment.

Why It’s So Important to Speak Your Truth

Many targets of bullying have had their voices stolen from them. They’re intimidated into keeping silent while others abuse and take advantage of them.

But you can’t bite your tongue forever because it will eventually come spewing out. You will snap and the stress will be as lava pouring out of an erupting volcano. This will become a vicious cycle.

Here’s how it progresses:

The target is calm, and people see this calmness as a weakness. Bullies began to notice how laid back the target is and presume that if they violate his boundaries, there will be no consequences. So, the abuse starts subtly at first- so subtly that the victim doesn’t even notice he’s being abused.

1.Bullies and bystanders: “We’re sorry we forgot to send you an invite to the party Saturday night.”


Target: “That’s okay. Maybe next time.”

Target is mildly stressed.

What the target thinks: “Really? You’re sorry? That’s the fourth time already.”

 

2. Bullies and bystanders: “You’re such a loser! When are you going to realize that and change your ways?”

Target: “I’m sorry. I don’t want any trouble with you guys.”

Target is angry but manages to hide it.

What the target thinks: “I’m not a loser! I wish you’d go somewhere else and leave me alone.”

3. Bullies and bystanders: “Can’t you do anything right? What the hell is wrong with you?”

Target: “What the hell did I do to you?”

Target is very angry but still manages to stuff it down and bury it.

Bullies and bystanders: ”Just forget it!”

Target: “Fine.”

What the target thinks: “No! You brought it up! Now let’s finish it!”

4. Bystander: “How are you?”

Target is angry and depressed.

Target: “I’m fine”

What the target thinks: I’m angry and depressed, thanks to you!”

 

5. Bullies and bystanders: “You’re so weak! We’re going to destroy you!”

Target is anxious, furious, and upset.

Target: “Why are you doing this to me? What have I ever done to any of you?”

What the target thinks: “I’ve had enough of your bullsh** and I’m about to go off on all of you! Now back the hell up!”

6. Bullies and bystanders: “Come here! We want to talk to you!”

Target is enraged. And can’t hold back any longer. This is the last straw.

Target: “(Yells) Go f*** yourselves! I have nothing to say to any of you! Now get the f*** out of here and don’t come back! I’m sick of you!”

What the target thinks: “Oh my God! This is so out of character for me! What’s happening to me!”

Bullies and bystanders: “Oh my God! Here we go again! He’s going crazy! He’s lost it! See! I told you he was a nutcase! See? He’s going off his rocker again! Hahahaha!”

And the bullying escalates because the target showed his ugly side and dared to respond to the bullies and their audience in kind. Now, people are using the target’s perfectly justified and normal human reaction to demonize him and make him look as if he’s mentally unstable.

This is why targets must speak out when the bullying first begins. I can’t stress this enough. Realize that these scenarios represent a pattern with bullies and their followers.

Bullies will push you and push you. They will keep digging at you until you snap on them. Then once you bite back, everyone is suddenly offended, and you are deemed the bad guy!

I want you to understand that this is all a part of the bully’s playbook. The more you know, the better you can predict their behavior, and the more you’ll be able to beat these monsters at their own game.

“Who Do You Think You Are!”

Have you ever had people seemingly mistake your confidence for conceit? Or worse, get offended by it? And you knew it but never understood why? Heaven forbid you actually have even a minuscule amount of self-esteem and take pride in your accomplishments.

 

Sadly, we live in a world that’s insecure, self-conscious, and unhappy and there will be people who resent your spirit and your happiness. There are environments that are very toxic and the toxic people within them have an intense hatred of those who are cheerful and have a strong sense of self.

Bullies are such people. But realize that, though they’d tell you differently, bullies aren’t happy people. They can’t be because anyone who’s truly happy wouldn’t try to make others feel lousy.

Moreover, they wouldn’t resent the happiness, confidence, or successes of others.

I’ve dealt with these types of people- people who resented my confidence, which was confidence that I’d worked hard to rebuild. I saw it written all over their faces- the scowls, how their eyes would narrow and turn into slits and brows would furrow anytime they saw a smile on mine or anyone else’s face. I can just imagine what they were thinking: “The nerve!”

I’ve even heard the disdainful remarks:

“She thinks too highly of herself and needs to be brought down a notch or two!”

“He’s an arrogant jerk!”

“She’s so uppity!”

“He loves himself too much!”

“She needs to bring herself down to earth with the rest of us!”

I could go on and on.

Many people act as if being confident and loving yourself is wrong. The message you get is that it’s “selfish,” and that you need to climb down off your high horse, or you’re too big for your britches. They try to make you think that having pride in yourself is something to be ashamed of. ”How dehhhhh you!”

Bullies tend to think that if a person has confidence and high self-esteem, he is pompous and sanctimonious- he’s the worst person in the world. In their minds, it’s horrible to have even a modicum of self-value and to believe in yourself. “Who do you think you are!”

As much as I hate to admit it, back when I was young and had self-esteem issues, I said the same thing about the same people. And do you know what else? I’ve since realized that I was wrong for it and that it was said out of pure stupidity.

So, I want you to know that, if you have the audacity to like yourself, there will be those who’ll try to tear you down for it. They will attempt to make you feel ashamed of it. Some will even punish you for it. But realize that these people aren’t happy, nor confident and they’re jealous of you because you are. Your bullies and others are bitter toward you because you have something they don’t have. And because they think they can’t have it, they want to take it from the people who do.

So, go for it! Be happy! Be confident! Believe in and love yourself! Treat yourself well whether anyone else likes it! And never let them take it away!

Don’t worry about the people around you. Know that how they act says nothing about you but everything about them. Their actions only expose them as the miserable, sorry pieces of crap they are. So, dig in those heels and double down on your positive sense of self.

Do everything you can to hold on to your joy and self-belief, and let the haters stew in their own juices.

Bullies Only Bully the Best of the Best

motivational inspirational dare to dream

Being the best- working hard, striving toward goals, and excelling at high levels all come at a high cost- a lot of resentment from others and having them try to sabotage. There’s a social penalty for high scores in work, creativity, ethics, good-heartedness- anything positive.

It’s why their peers don’t nominate the ones who are deserving of awards and accolades, nor do they recognize them for their success. They work too hard or too fast, they’re too passionate, too perfect, or excessively detailed.

Jealousy, envy, and resentment are often disguised as cold silence and ignorance, which are intentional slights from classmates, coworkers, and superiors designed to hold someone back. Peers who are secretly angered by the successes of a winner will only undermine by stealthy silence because to openly do it would be too obvious.

It would look to much like sour grapes, like the feeling of inferiority to the victor, and everyone is careful not to give off even the slightest stink that they might feel a little inferior.

Blue-collar workers often penalize those for working too fast. Classmates hate other classmates who get top scores. Peers covertly hate those who are record-breakers.

But why?

It’s because any person who breaks records unwittingly raises the bar, therefore raising teacher or management expectations for the rest, creating a new goal that’s much harder to attain.

The best of the best only threaten the rest.

It never pays to be a little too perfect in an imperfect world. You don’t score points by being a ray of light in an environment of dark souls.

The feeling that someone else is better than them are is uncomfortable and only nags at bullies until they find a way- any way possible, to level the playing field.

Many times, people perceive the best to be the worst.

Why Bullies Hate Anyone Who is Smart

bully boss

Strict Boss: Angry upset young business woman with blank speech bubble on white on gray background. Vector illustration.

Short Answer 1: An intelligent person is a threat to the bullies’ power.

Long answer 1: A smart person can see through the bully’s façade and tricks. The wise person can pinpoint the bully’s motives with complete accuracy. ‘You see? Bullies work hard to keep up appearances, and anyone who has even the slightest chance of exposing them is fair game.

Realize the bullies fear exposure because it would mean losing respect.

Short Answer 2: Bullies can’t stand being outshined or outdone- in anything! This can happen at school or in the workplace. In the workplace, adult bullies bully employees who are star performers with extremely likable personalities.

Long Answer 2: Anyone with good sense more than likely has talents and gifts which bullies do not have. Understand that bullies bully because they’re no good at anything else.

Cyber bullying

For example: Susan in the school choir and has been singing since she was eighteen months old. Coming from parents who are also musically talented, she has a talent that comes naturally. The choir director sees this from day one and gives her solos to sing during choir concerts. Being honored, Susan gives it her all and received loud cheers from the audience and compliments from different people afterward.

However, this also makes Susan an even bigger target for the bullies, and the bullying escalates exponentially the very next day and for the next several weeks. Anytime Susan receives any positive recognition, she watches her classmates’ faces contort and knows what’s coming next.

Susan also witnesses them bullying people who make good grades.
Understand that bullies are jealous of smart and talented people. They can’t handle being outdone by anyone at anything. As a result, they always turn up the harassment and do their level best to kill any confidence the target has in their own abilities.

Think

Example 2: Sandra is the top performer at her job and has just received an award as recognition for her being at the top of her department for the last six months. The next day, Sandra senses a chill in the relationships with her boss and coworkers. Next, they begin to mob Sandra and sabotage her work. Her boss, Elsa begins to criticize her every move, withhold vital information and exclude her from meetings.

I write this not to brag or complain, but to share knowledge with others about how bullies operate so they’ll have the tools to protect their self-esteem- tools that I didn’t have all those years ago.