Instead of Wondering Whether They’ll Like You, Start Wondering Whether You’ll Like Them

When you walk into a room, you shouldn’t wonder if the people there will like you; you should wonder whether you’ll like them. Whenever you get nervous upon meeting new people, the root of the nervousness is that you’re afraid they won’t like you. Don’t do that! Understand that when you worry about how others will perceive you, you’re taking value away from yourself and giving them too much of it! Not good!

Stop giving people you don’t know the worth they haven’t earned!

That’s right! When you meet new people, they (and you) are starting with a clean slate, and as far as you’re concerned, it’s up to them whether they fill that slate with negatives or positives. They must prove to you whether they’re people that you want in your life, not the other way around.

When you worry needlessly whether other people will like you, you give them all your power and leave none for yourself. And you’ll likely go out of your way to prove to them that you’re worthy of their time. Bullies will sniff that out, and they’ll take advantage of it.

Stop! It’s too much work, and it’s beneath you!

When I was a young teenager, I did the same because I didn’t know any better. And it cost me! Today, I’m the opposite. When I meet a new person, I wonder if I’m going to like them. If a person wants my friendship, trust, and my time, they have to earn them.

Be picky about who you allow in your life because you don’t want to let just anyone in! And you don’t want to let them in right away. Observe them first. Note their demeanor and how they carry themselves because it will tell you a lot.

Realize that when you make friends and associates, it’s because you chose them out of a vast number of people you’ve met.

Selectiveness adds value to a person. So, always value yourself.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

22 Good Responses to Bullying

It takes knowing bullying behavior when you see it and setting boundaries. We should respond (not react) to it right away and with conviction. And when you respond, you must respond with commands, not questions. What I mean by my last sentence is that instead of asking, “What did I ever do to you,” say, “Stop!” or “Knock it off!”

Because anytime we respond to bullies with questions, it only re-enforces their behavior.

Here are a few responses to different types of bullying:

The silent treatment

Return the silent treatment

Pull out a book and read it.

Walk away.

Put in earbuds and listen to music.

 

Verbal Abuse and Bullying

Firmly and authoritatively say,

“Stop that!”

“Cut it out!”

And put your hand out like a traffic cop.

Bullying disguised as jokes

“Knock it off!”

“Don’t be a moron!”

“Cut it out!”

 

A bully who judges you or criticizes

“Shut up!”

“Mind your own business!”

“Nobody asked you!”

“That’s enough!”

Responses to Trivialization

“I’m not having this conversation with you.”

“I’ve heard all I want to hear from you.”

 

When bullies undermine you

“Knock it off!”

“I’m not having this discussion with you!”

Defending their rights concept. Silhouette of hands pointing, denouncing the hand that defends their rights

When bullies threaten you

“Stop threatening me!”

“Leave me alone!”

“I don’t want to hear it!”

“Get away from me!”

 

When bullies make demands or give you orders

“I don’t respond to demands.”

“I don’t take orders.”

These are just a few good responses to the different types of bullying. Remember that you have a right to be treated well and you don’t have to take abuse from anyone.

How to Take Back Your Self-Respect When You’re Being Disrespected

With all due respect, you, just as much as anyone else, deserve your dignity. And sometimes, you must fight to keep it. Of course, I don’t mean fight, as in the literal sense, but simply refuse to allow people to disrespect you and get away with it.

If you’re giving others respect and getting none in return, it doesn’t mean you stand there and demand it. No. You take it back by walking away and having nothing more to do with those who disrespect you. You drop them like hot bricks and do it without warning, explanation, or apology. That’s how you reclaim your self-respect.

Understand that true respect is given regardless of who you are, how much money you make, how big your bank account is, the position you hold, or how great or small you are. If others don’t respect you like you respect yourself, then you have a problem on your hands.

Sadly, most people nowadays don’t understand the nature of respect and it’s why bullying, and disrespect are so rampant and true respect so rare.

Realize that no matter who rich we may become, we’re born with nothing, and we die with nothing. After all, we can’t take our money and material possessions with us when we go. Therefore, the only thing that matters is how we treat each other. Everyone deserves respect and dignity (except those who don’t give it).

Understand that when people disrespect you, they do it out of self-interest:

1.To feel superior

2. To look cool

3. To look tough

4. To look bigger and better

5. To boast their egos

6. To assuage feelings of insecurity and inferiority

7. To look and feel powerful

8. To feel better about themselves

It’s true that we should remain humble. But sadly, most people these days think that they’re entitled to respect simply because they exist, especially those in positions of power and privilege- even if they have only a little bit of the two.

Therefore, you must be selective of the people you give your respect to. Otherwise, you give away your self-respect in the process.

At the end of the day, no one is any better or more important than the next person. Having a degree of humility is a virtue because we all have weaknesses, imperfections, and shortcomings. Everyone, no matter how great, has limitations and must know what their limitations are.

Self-respect is not haughty, pompous, nor arrogant.  True self-respect is respect for self while being aware of not only your gifts and strengths but also your weaknesses and shortcomings. It also means knowing and accepting your limitations.

So, in summary, respect the people who respect you, and respect yourself enough to walk away from those who disrespect you.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Stop Wondering If They’ll Like You and Start Wondering If You’ll Like Them.

When you walk into a room, you shouldn’t wonder if the people there will like you; you should wonder whether you’ll like them. Whenever you get nervous upon meeting new people, the root of the nervousness is that you’re afraid they won’t like you. Don’t do that! Understand that when you worry about how others will perceive you, you’re taking value away from yourself and giving them too much of it! Not good!

Stop giving people you don’t know the worth they haven’t earned!

That’s right! When you meet new people, they (and you) are starting with a clean slate, and as far as you’re concerned, it’s up to them whether they fill that slate with negatives or positives. They must prove to you whether they’re people that you want in your life, not the other way around.

When you worry needlessly whether other people will like you, you give them all your power and leave none for yourself. And you’ll likely go out of your way to prove to them that you’re worthy of their time. Bullies will sniff that out, and they’ll take advantage of it.

Stop! It’s too much work, and it’s beneath you!

When I was a young teenager, I did the same because I didn’t know any better. And it cost me! Today, I’m the opposite. When I meet a new person, I wonder if I’m going to like them. If a person wants my friendship, trust, and my time, they have to earn them.

Be picky about who you allow in your life because you don’t want to let just anyone in! And you don’t want to let them in right away. Observe them first. Note their demeanor and how they carry themselves because it will tell you a lot.

Realize that when you make friends and associates, it’s because you chose them out of a vast number of people you’ve met.

Selectiveness adds value to a person. So, always value yourself.