3 Life Secrets Everyone Should Learn

When bullies are attacking you at every turn, it’s easy to lose that positive attitude you once had along with your self-esteem. If you aren’t careful, you’ll begin to doubt yourself and give up on your goals. Here are 3 Life Secrets that everyone (especially targets) should learn. And once you learn them, hold them close no matter how others may treat you. Also, use them to keep your self-esteem from tanking.

1. Positivity

Positive thoughts equal a positive mind. A positive mind brings positive opportunities. Positive opportunities lead to positive results. Altogether, they bolster confidence, which gives you a positive and extraordinary life! It’s a shame most people go through life without learning this little nugget of wisdom. They go to the grave never learning this and so many other life secrets.

Use the weaknesses others perceive you to have to your advantage. For instance, if you’re a female and you’re being bullied, use that to your advantage. Doing this is likely to garner you help from others, especially big, strong men. What real man doesn’t want to protect a woman. It’s in his DNA.

Moreover, if you are a petite and small lady, you can use your size to get protection as well. Remember that every weakness has it’s advantages. You only have to figure out what those advantages are and play them to the hilt.

2. Tenacity

Tenacity equals positive change and eventual success. To many people give up before they reach their goals. I’ve been guilty of this and it’s hard to admit to myself. But the trick is to go from where you are and never again give up. Keep working toward that goal until you reach it! You will be so glad you did!

Negative people will never see success, only hollow victories from time to time. Stay away from these type of folks. Because they will drag you down. They will deliberately derail you from your goals. And if you reach your goals, they will hate you for it. These people are not worth your time. Instead of focusing on them and the things they think or say. Focus on your goals and work toward them. It’s the only way you’ll keep these people from tearing you down.

Remember that attitude and self-belief are everything!

3. Beware of Jealous People

The reason most people find ways to discourage you and tell you that you CAN’T is because they’re very much afraid that you WILL. Moreover, if you continue to keep company with these people, they will bring you down to their level. Remember that misery loves company. Jealous people never win and they don’t want you to win either. So, stay far away from them.

Resting on your laurels for too long equals stagnation and and repels growth. It’s okay to take a short break every now and again. We all need breaks. However, the longer you put off working on your goals, the more chance you have of never doing it. Therefore, take a rest period. But get back to pursuing those goals as soon as you’re able.

With each major goal accomplished, raise the bar. You must continue to challenge yourself and flex those mind-muscles even more. You will set higher goals and you will reach them.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Your Wins are Your Bullies’ Losses

Always! Why? Because the last thing your bullies want is for you to succeed at anything. Let’s go deeper here. Understand that any success you enjoy, any accomplishment you make is a threat to your bullies. It’s a threat to their power- their perceived superiority over you and their spotlight.

Whenever you make an accomplishment and reach success, other people will give you recognition. This will take some of the spotlight away from your bullies. Remember that bullies love to hog the spotlight. They crave admiration. And when they watch you getting a piece of it, it infuriates them.

What it Does to Your Bullies’ Egos

Moreover, when people see you as inferior, and, all of a sudden, you’ve made this huge accomplishment and are wildly successful, your bullies begin to look stupid. Why? Because your success sends them the unspoken message that you’re not so inferior after all and that you’ve shown them up. It’s made them look like the inferior ones and they know it. They can feel it and it doesn’t feel so good!

Your bullies have such fragile egos that they’re constantly look for assurance that you are what they say you are. They need confirmation that you’re no good. Therefore, when you accomplish even the smallest goal or reach even a tiny bit of success, it automatically pokes holes in the narrative they’ve been peddling. Additionally, bullies see you as competition and they despise competition. This is why it doesn’t pay to tell others about any goals or dreams. Not until you reach them.

And once you do, watch your bullies become petty and childish. Watch them turn up the harassment and notice how they increase the name-calling, insults, and verbal abuse. Note that their attacks become more brutal and more painful. Watch as your bullies work overtime with the smear campaigns against you. Also, watch as many so-called friends turn against you.

Jealousy is demonic!

People you thought were with you and supported you suddenly turn cold. Any time these things happen to you left and right and you feel people are attacking you from every corner, jealousy and envy are most likely the culprits.

And here’s something else!

Many times, you may not necessarily need to be super-successful for other people to launch such demonic evil against you. All it times is for you to have potential and people know potential when they see it. Therefore, they may not be jealous of anything you have or enjoy at the present but they’re envious of your potential. They’re jealous of where you might be headed and of your capabilities and possibilities.

Your bullies are so afraid that you just might reach amazing heights later. They’re deathly frightened that your future may have great things in store for you. Most bullies aren’t dumb when it comes to scoping out intelligence. They can sense that you’re headed for great things long before you reach them. These bullies might have nice cars, clothes, money, and other material things but, again, they will be extremely jealous of where you may be heading in life. And they’re afraid that you just might pass them by.

Therefore, your win is their loss. Your happiness is their anger and your promotion, their demotion.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Here’s Why Bullies Try to Discourage Their Targets from Pursuing Their Goals

“The reason bullies tell you, ‘You can’t,’ is because they fear that you can and are even more afraid that you will.”

If you’re working hard to better your life and pursue your goals and dreams, bullies  will discourage and dishearten you if you aren’t careful. If you’re a target of bullying, understand that it’s nothing more than psy-ops bullies are trying to use against you.

It’s all designed to suppress you and make you afraid of even trying because you risk the possibility of failing. Why? Because bullies know that if you keep trying  long enough, you’re very likely to succeed.

Bullies can’t handle the successes of anyone. And they most definitely can’t take it if it’s achieved by anyone they deem inferior. Realize that a bully’s feelings of power and superiority come from one-upmanship, and when his/her target succeeds at anything, it undermines that sense of superiority.

Jealousy

Proverbially, it takes bullies down a notch or two, which makes them angry and desire to put the target “back in their place.”

When you reach success, expect this type of attitude and behavior from your bullies. Know that it will reignite a lot of rage and jealousy in them. It will also induce the need to take revenge. “How dare you!” They will want to get even. No way will they stand for you rising above them!

When this happens, don’t be surprised. Instead of feeling bad, feel good because it only shows that your bullies are jealous and desperate to have what you have. Expect people to act ignorant and never apologize for any successes you’ve had.

With knowledge comes empowerment.

I Used to Hate It, Now I Welcome It: Dislike and Hatred

Everyone has people who do not like them- you, me, everyone. It isn’t personal (or at least I no longer take it so). It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong or defective about you. It’s only a part of life. Like is subjective, and not everyone meshes with everyone.

So, why do I welcome being disliked, you ask?

1. It means I’m doing something right. And making the haters and people doing the disliking feel uncomfortable, insecure, and like fools.

2. It only shows that I’m true to myself. You stay true to yourself by setting boundaries and not allowing others to invade them. You stand up for your beliefs, your convictions, and, most of all, yourself! You follow your dreams and goals and never let anyone distract you. When you do these things, it makes you a powerhouse. But! It also makes you enemies.


3. It gives me just another reason to reach success. Who doesn’t love to make supporters proud and enemies jealous? I love seeing my loved ones’ faces light up, and my hater’s faces contort! I feel the love of my friends and get free comedy and entertainment from my enemies. Enemies can motivate you if you let them.

Most people are slaves to approval. They chase it like a starving dog chases a thick, juicy steak.

Once you stop caring what others think and looking for people to like you, you’ll no doubt make quite a few enemies, even bitter ones. But you’ll be amazed at how much freer you feel. Being yourself is the most important thing you can do and frees you from the constraints of society.

When you have people, who dislike or even hate you, you know you’re putting yourself first, and that’s what it’s all about. If you can’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to properly take care of anyone else, even the ones you love, whenever they need you.

Sadly, it took getting older before I realized the value of having enemies.

Using Your Traumatic Experiences for Good and to Fuel Success

Space Shuttle starts its mission and takes off into the sky. Rocket with clouds of smoke flying into space

Although traumatic experiences are never good nor fun, they can shape us into better people later and give us the drive and passion to want to help others who endure the same experiences, or, even better, to prevent others from enduring the same traumas. However, it depends on several factors- whether we’ve healed enough, our overall attitudes, and what we’ve learned from the terrible experiences.

Any traumatic experience a person endures can be used for good later and can be their launch pad to unimaginable heights and unlimited success.

Here are a few scenarios:

1.A 13-year-old girl is a victim of a natural disaster. A horrific tornado hits her neighborhood and kills her family, but she barely survives. She is left lying in the hospital for two months, fighting for her life. Because of this, she develops a strong passion for figuring out weather situations and patterns. She gets the education through training, either self-taught or classroom, then later helps to design a weather warning system that provides much longer warning times and, therefore, more time for people to get to safety. Even better, she thoroughly enjoys it and is excited about doing it!

2. A young, married father is involved in a horrible car accident caused by a drunk driver. The accident kills his wife and six-month-old baby daughter but leaves him in I.C.U. fighting for his life. He develops an interest in learning about intoxicated drivers and the effects of driving under the influence, then using it to warn others. Later, he helps many people and builds his success by speaking publicly about the dangers of driving drunk.

My point is that no matter what you go through in life, you have the delicious opportunity to use it for great results later, and to make a difference in the lives of others.

Sadly, past severe trauma can defeat most people, leaving them to live lives of severe depression and self-defeat. And it’s easy to do when you’ve experience trauma so deep it changed your life. Therefore, in no way would I ever judge the people this has happened to because I understand, and my heart goes out to them.

For quite a few years, my past traumas had me defeated. I battled severe depression and lived a miserable existence because I hadn’t yet discovered what I could do with my past trauma. I hadn’t yet discovered my purpose, my passion, and the thing I would enjoy most. I hadn’t yet found my life’s work and it was because I didn’t yet know how to turn what happened to me into something good. In fact, I didn’t even realize it was possible.

Depression Concept with Word Cloud and a Humanbeing with broken Brain and Heavy Rain

But I’m blessed! I found a way to turn everything bad that happened to me into something good- a way to turn my pain into power. And it made all the difference in my battle.

In fact, it changed my life!

And though I would never discredit therapy or medication in battling any mental illness or psychological injury, I can tell you that I was on anti-depressants and in therapy for a while. And yes, it did help, but only temporarily. For me, it was only a band-aid.

It cured the symptoms, but not the root cause.

Again, I’m in no way advocating against counseling and medications because there is a legitimate need for those therapies and many people would be in big trouble without them. And I’ll be the first to tell you that many benefits come with mental health care.

There are scores of mentally ill people who acquired those illnesses due to psychological injuries caused from adverse childhood and life-experiences. It changes the chemistry of the brain and in many cases, meds and counseling are required.

Before I go on, I’d like to provide a disclaimer here: I can’t speak for anyone else who has battled a mental illness. I can only speak for myself and from my own experiences and outcomes.

And I can tell you that, what helped me more than anything, was when I began using my past traumas for the good and betterment of others. I truly believe that turning any past adversity into good and finding your purpose in it is THE best way to dial down the psychological injuries which cause mental illness. It’s how you use it to live a purposeful life.

This has created many positive experiences. And creating positive experiences to balance out the negative is the best cure of all.

So, find a way to use your trauma for good. Develop an interest in and passion for learning about the very thing that traumatized you and tried to defeat you. Learn about it from all angles. Learn the roots of it, the causes or reasons behind it- everything!

Make it not only your purpose but also your joy to help people who either have been or are going through what you endured.

And that’s how you heal the psychological injuries that caused your mental illness and, ultimately, regain control of your life!

Know that you can use your scars to reach the stars!

“The Odd Girl Out (Is The It-Girl Now)”

(verse)

Remember when you used to laugh at her

Because she didn’t have any friends

Remember how everyone trashed her

Back in school, she wasn’t cool like the rest of them

‘Tried to break her down with glee in your eye

It used to be fun to make her cry

Now you’re chokin’ on the names you called

Because you know, now they don’t phase her at all

(Chorus)

Because the odd girl out is the it-girl now

She’s the movie star you watch on the silver screen

The odd girl out is the it-girl now

Don’t you feel so stupid for being so mean

(Verse 2)

She walked around with a target on her back

And eyes in the back of her head

A broken heart and shattered soul

Downtrodden, beatdown and left in the cold

It used to feel good to keep her down

She used to be everybody’s clown

Jealous Girls taking behind her back

You slandered her name all over town

‘Used to be nobody wanted her around

(Chorus 2)

But the odd girl out is the it-girl now

She left this pitiful town for big and better things

The odd girl out is the it-girl now

‘Feel your jealousy burn, yeah man it stings

(Bridge)

You never thought she’d ever get so far

Oh, but how could you have known

She’d show you up and reach her star

Who’s laughing now?

(Repeat Chorus 1 and 2)

dreamstime_xs_147635621

Yeah, yeah, watch her go she’s the it-girl now!

Yeah, yeah, see her shine she’s the it-girl now!

Yeah, yeah, it’s a poke in your eye she’s the it-girl now!

Yeah, yeah, and you don’t know why she’s the it-girl now!

It’s a poke in your eye, and you don’t know why she’s the it-girl now!

Why Bullies Discourage Targets from Pursuing Their Goals

“The reason bullies tell you, ‘You can’t,’ is because they fear that you can and are even more afraid that you will.”

If you’re working hard to better your life and pursue your goals and dreams, bullies  will discourage and dishearten you if you aren’t careful. If you’re a target of bullying, understand that it’s nothing more than psy-ops bullies are trying to use against you.

It’s all designed to suppress you and make you afraid of even trying because you risk the possibility of failing. Why? Because bullies know that if you keep trying  long enough, you’re very likely to succeed.

Bullies can’t handle the successes of anyone. And they most definitely can’t take it if it’s achieved by anyone they deem inferior. Realize that a bully’s feelings of power and superiority come from one-upmanship, and when his/her target succeeds at anything, it undermines that sense of superiority.

Jealousy

Proverbially, it takes bullies down a notch or two, which makes them angry and desire to put the target “back in their place.”

When you reach success, expect this type of attitude and behavior from your bullies. Know that it will reignite a lot of rage and jealousy in them. It will also induce the need to take revenge. “How dare you!” They will want to get even. No way will they stand for you rising above them!

When this happens, don’t be surprised. Instead of feeling bad, feel good because it only shows that your bullies are jealous and desperate to have what you have. Expect people to act ignorant and never apologize for any successes you’ve had.

With knowledge comes empowerment.