Bullying and “The Audience Effect”

Let’s face it. We all act differently in public than we do in private. Every single one of us- you, me, everyone. For instance, you certainly wouldn’t take off your clothes and run around in your underwear in public.

Also, to a small degree, we tailor our actions and responses according to who is present at a given time. Why? Because the people around us are always evaluating us whether we know it or not.

For instance,

bullies will tailor their behavior according to their audience. If they think the people around them will get fun and entertainment out of seeing them bully, they will continue. Also, if the bullies expect bystanders and authority to turn a blind eye, they will continue bullying. And they will mercilessly bully that target without fail.

Even worse,

if the bullies catch on that everyone- even the bystanders and witnesses, share an intense hatred of the target, not only will they continue to bully that target, but they will mercilessly escalate the torment. Because, if everyone hates the target, that’s when there are absolutely no boundaries, no limits, to the level of abuse the bullies will inflict.

On the other hand, what if the bullies think there’s even a possibility that the audience will sympathize with the target?

If the bullies think there’s a chance the audience might call them out on their abuse and help the target, you can bet they’ll likely stop the abuse. And, in the future, the bullies will more than likely think twice before bullying the target again.

Again,

If the target has no friends and isn’t supported, the bullies will bully that target without fail. However, if the target has friends, allies, and supporters, the bullies will likely leave that person alone and go find an easier target who has fewer friends, allies, and supporters or none at all.

Therefore, you must find ways to make friends and garner support if ever you find yourself in the cross hairs of bullies. I cannot stress enough the importance of a support system- even if it’s an outside support system. Not only will you be safer and more secure, but your mental health won’t suffer nearly as much.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Why an Outside Supoort System Is So Important When You’re Being Bullied

When bullies target you at school or in the workplace, a support system can be the difference between suicide and the will to live, and I tell you this from experience.

During the time I went to school and was bullied there, people didn’t consider the damage bullying did to its targets because it just wasn’t talked about. It wasn’t talked about because society was under the misguided belief that bullying was “a right of passage” – a “normal occurrence that all kids went through.”

But! If your were a target back then, I’ll bet that even back then, you knew that there was nothing normal about it. Even then, you knew that most kids didn’t endure bullying but only a certain few.

And because of this widely held belief, you were ashamed to talk about it and were forced to suffer in silence. Why? Because you knew that you’d be shamed for it – told to toughen up. So, you toughened up – you started fighting back amd defending yourself, only to be blamed and accused of being the perpetrator and either suspended, expelled, or fired (if you were an adult in the workplace).

In a nutshell, there just wasn’t much support for targets of bullying behavior in those days. I look back now and wonder just how many teen suicides in those days (and yes, there were many teen suicides back then) resulted from bullying.

Unfortunately, that’s an answer we’ll never know because those kids aren’t alive to tell their stories today. I can only speculate that it was more than likely well over half of all suicides under the age of 21. And I’m confident in that guess.

If you’re a parent or guardian, listen to your child and take steps to support and protect your son or daughter.

If you’re a teacher and a child or teen comes to you and opens up about the bullying they suffer, please do not trivialize their pain or rebuff them. Reach out to them and give them a listening ear. Let this precious human being know that you’re there for them.

If you’re a supervisor or manager, please, listen for the sake of not only the target, but for that of your company. Companies lose millions per year as a result of workplace bullying. Therefore, it’s much more profitable to do the right thing than it is to ignore it or to blame the target.

The more you know…