The Catch 22 Almost No One Talks About (I Wonder Why?)

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Here’s another reason why I believe that the term “toxic masculinity” is a bogus term.

Many times, you have a situation, which almost no one talks about and is too often ignored- female bullying against male targets and why society gives male targets a bum rap.

I cannot count the stories I’ve both read and heard about males being harassed and abused by vicious females…boys and young men, who are, under normal circumstances, kind and caring but only pushed too far by their female tormentors before they finally have enough and strike back to defend themselves.

Unfortunately, after having been bullied for so long, the pressure builds to a breaking point. The poor guy finally decides that enough is enough and hits the girl back after she hits him first. As a result, HE gets the blame simply because he is a male.

Because the girl knows very well that society protects females due to the still widely-held belief that females are the weaker sex, she uses it to her own advantage by playing the “woman card” and feigning victimhood- complete with crocodile tears, rationalization and projecting blame onto her victim.

female bullies bitches

The conniving and cunning female also deceives by acting sweet and innocent in the presence of the right people. She is silver-tongued. Therefore, she is a pro at spinning a convincing story to deceive authority while demonizing her male target, all to avoid being held responsible.

Although the poor target is actually a great guy with good morals, values, and ethics; to bystanders and authority, he is just another punk, who goes around beating up on girls/women. He ends up either being suspended/expelled from school, or arrested and charged as a criminal, while his female bully looks on with a smirk of gratification on her face. She then escapes punishment and goes on to select yet another male victim. Thus, the cycle continues.

If the young man didn’t hit her back, but only restrained her to protect himself, he would still be dehumanized and punished because he simply laid hands on her. Yes. You read this correctly…if someone physically attacks you and you restrain them, you can STILL go to jail- just as if you delivered the first punch because your hands were touching the person. It is impossible to restrain anyone without touching them.

Abandoned jail common room in cell block

Interior of cell block in abandoned State Correctional Institution, or jail., common room with jail cells.

This is just a sad example of how completely backward school rules and the laws in this country really are.

Here’s a second catch 22:

A young man is being bullied relentlessly at school by a girl or group of girls. The girl(s)harass this boy for a number of years and during this time, the other boys also laugh and make fun of him because he is the bigger person and walks away instead of fighting back. They feminize him by calling him names, such as “wuss”, “wimp”, “pussy”, “bitch-boy” and other names which attack the male pride and strip away any masculinity.

The poor guy then reports the bullying only to be told to “man up” or “toughen up” and the boys only further shame him for being a “whiner”, “crybaby” or “tattle tale”.

Then, the young boy finally gets sick of the mistreatment and he snaps on one of the girls, battering her until her lip and nose are bleeding. Now, all hell breaks loose!

victim why

The target goes from being seen as a wimp to being viewed as a little punk who gets his jollies by beating up on females. He can’t win no matter which way he turns! He is suspended, expelled, or arrested for assault and battery. Also, the boys now want to jump him because he hit a girl.

The poor young man, although a victim, is now marginalized by the system, which is supposed to protect him.

So what other recourse does he have after having tried everything to protect himself and make the harassment stop?

My purpose is to open a few eyes and let society know that boys DO get bullied by girls…that more and more men get bullied by women. I believe this is because females are more prone to violence today than ever before in history, due to the significant moral decline of girls, which has taken place in the last 30 years.

However, understand that this article does not apply to male bullies, who go around physically or psychologically harming females but only to innocent male victims, who only want to be left in peace and live a normal life like everyone else.

narcissist

If two men are at odds with each other and they resort to fisticuffs, they usually end up later patching things up, then going somewhere to have a beer together. Not so with women. If two women get into an altercation, chances are that they will not let go of their hatred of each other. A woman is like a dog with a bone. She will cling tightly to her grudge against her rival until the heavens come crashing down.

In closing, I will tell you that women are not always the weaker sex. I’m a woman myself and I know first hand that when it comes to evil, women, and girls can be the meanest, most disgusting, most relentless, most deplorable, and most vicious of the sexes! In most cases of bullying and harassment by the opposite sex, victims who are male get a bum rap! This has to be brought to light!

It’s high time that we wise up, rip the fake mask off these vicious shrews and expose their misdeeds to as many people as possible in order to decrease the chances of other innocent men and boys becoming targets in the future.

Because, believe it or not, not all girls are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice.

Common Responses Targets Get When They Speak Out

If you’re a target of bullying, people will naturally expect you not to open your mouth about the harassment. Not only your bullies themselves but often bystanders and authority will automatically side with the bullies.

But, it still doesn’t mean that you stay silent because standing up for yourself shows bravery and strength and you’re well within your rights to do so.

However, I want you to be prepared for the following hurtful responses you’re likely to get when you finally do begin speaking against the mistreatment.

Here they are:

1. “You’re being too sensitive.” Understand that when people respond this way, they’re only shifting the blame to you and trying to shame you into keeping quiet about it. People who tell you this might be friends or followers of the bullies or have a personal interest in keeping you quiet, such as the reputation of the school or company, the bullies may be kin to them somehow, or the bullies may be perceived as “good for the school’s or company’s reputation.” But don’t be ashamed to speak out. You must keep the pressure on even if the bullying gets worse. Understand that things usually get worse before they get better. But they will get better.

2. “Just Ignore Them.” This never works, as bullies only become angry at being ignored and escalate the bullying. Or, they may mistake ignoring for fear. And if a bully gets in your face, how do you ignore that? It’s impossible. You might think that the best way to handle it is to put your hand up and walk around the bully and it IS a good response. But how do you know the bully won’t come after you and attack you from behind once you’ve walked past them?

Understand that when people tell you to ignore the bully, what this means is that they either don’t want to hear about it, don’t want to deal with it, or don’t have any answers themselves.

3. “Toughen up.” Again. The people who could help you don’t want to get involved. So they put it all on you. By telling you to toughen up, they’re shifting the blame onto you and trying to shame you into staying silent. Also, when you tell a target to toughen up, you’re only asking for things between the target and bully to escalate because the target will take it as a green light to tell the bully to shove it up his you-know-where or haul off and knock the idiot’s block off. Not that it’s a bad thing because, in my opinion, bullies deserve a good whack in the nose.

But those in authority have no right to tell the target to toughen up, then turn around and punish him when he finally does.

Respond to this by saying, “No. It’s not about toughing up. It’s about asserting my right to be treated with decency and I don’t have to take that mess.” And when you say it, say it with conviction.

4. “Get over it.”

5. “Don’t be a crybaby.”

6. “Stop whining.”

7. “Don’t be a tattletale.”

All of the above nuggets of advice are only meant to shame and silence you. Bullying is no different from any other form of abuse. It thrives on secrecy. If you don’t speak out about it, the bullying and abuse will only continue, even escalate.

Defending their rights concept. Silhouette of hands pointing, denouncing the hand that defends their rights

I realize that getting these kinds of responses makes you feel even worse and there’s a temptation to clam up and burrow back into your hole. But don’t! You must refuse to keep quiet about it!

Keep speaking out about it. When people give you any of the above responses, that’s when you should only double down, dig your heels in and speak louder! Because only when a problem is addressed does it have the potential to be solved.

It may get worse before it gets better, but there’s always a chance that it will get better when you verbally protest the bullying. And no matter the outcome, you’ll feel so much better about yourself knowing you took a stand.