That Block Button is There for a Reason

Here’s a truth you might not like to read or hear. Not everyone on your social media friends list is your friend. Therefore, it doesn’t matter who you are. Everyone has at least one snoop on their friends list- people who are only there to watch you.

Snoops are really just another brand of cyber-stalker because they’re on your friends list.

I have them, you have them, we all have them. There will be people who send you friend requests, or people you think are friends who accept yours. Next, three months, six months, maybe a year or more goes by and you won’t get as much as a like from them, much less a comment.

When the new friend makes no attempt to interact with you, you soon forget about the person. And you focus on the people who interact with you the most.

However, suddenly, wham! You get the first comment from them. And it’s laced with vitriol and vulgarity, blasting you because you posted something they didn’t like. Again, understand that snoops, as I like to call them, friend you, then constantly clock your page. They wait with bated breath for you to post something that gives them an excuse to flame you.

Are They Friends or Snoops?

However, look at it this way. This person has now showed you their true colors. They were never your friend but were only there to keep an eye on your posts and interactions.

Realize that your social media page is your digital real estate. It’s your domain. And you have every right to post what you want on your page if it isn’t hateful or violent. Furthermore, if some lowlife blasts you for any reason, then you must unfriend and block.

Understand that this is about setting boundaries. And, if you don’t set boundaries, you can bet that others will notice and think they can troll you too.

People put entirely too much importance on likes, followers and friends. But that’s for another post.

However, lack of engagement is one of the major warning signs that the new friend is a snoop. Another reg flag is when they attack you for something you post. Sadly, we live in a society in which people pick even the most innocent things apart and twist it into something to gripe about.

All the more reason why you should not be afraid to use that block button. You are not responsible for someone else’s feelings. And you must stop worrying about the number of friends on your friends list.

Quality is much more important than quantity. Just because you have five thousand friends on your list doesn’t mean they’re worth having. Always remember that.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

4 Ways to Handle a Cyber-Stalker

If you have dealt with them, you probably know they can be relentless in their pursuit of you. I had one woman in particular stalk me on social media about 4 years ago, and without a doubt, I know who it is.

I’m not one to complain or to have a victim mentality. And I won’t stress out over it because I have enough people who know me well enough not to get hoodwinked by smears.

I know that being afraid is exactly what she wanted, and I didn’t give her the satisfaction. However, I was a little concerned. Who wouldn’t be? Being cyber-stalked isn’t fun.

This woman needed help. She sent me nasty messages and stalked all of my social media pages. And at different times in the last four years- several times in 2018, she’s returned again since. She’s one of those stalkers that attacks you, disappears for a while, then comes back again with more hatred.

This is all because I deleted her from my friend’s list for making offhand comments and sarcastic remarks to some of my posts.

I’ve blocked her. However, she has had her sister, her son, and a few others stalk me and even stalk my husband and kids. We have since blocked all of them.

It just goes to show that she’s a coward and doesn’t have much going for her. Because if she did, she wouldn’t resort to any of this.

Her latest act is stalking me on a few other pages such as Amazon and Google books.

She was at her craziest in 2018 when she threatened to look up my address, then get on a bus and come pay me a visit (She lives out of state now).

I’m glad she thought I was worth the travel expenses! (Hee-hee!)

Understand that with someone as sick-minded as she, all threats should be taken seriously, And I put a few friends on alert just in case she tries anything with them.

So, know this:

1. When you have a cyber-stalker, do respond. But never react!

2. Never stay silent about it but put the word out to family and friends who love you because it can make all the difference in whether or not your attacker is caught should they take it to the next level and try to hunt you down.

3. At the same time, keep an eye on all your business online and be aware of your surroundings when you’re out.

4. Do your best to walk confidently and look like someone a criminal would think twice about messing with.

Do these things, and you’ll surely feel better, be better able to relax and enjoy life.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

An Explanation of Cyber-Bullies, Stalkers, and Trolls

Bullies are cowards, but Cyber-bullies are the biggest, most pathetic ones. They sit in the safety of their homes (or their mom’s basements, attics, and backyard sheds), hide behind fake profiles and screen names, and troll the internet and social media in search of victims.

If you’ve ever dealt with a cyber-bully, I knew how you feel, and I understand. Words do have power and it’s easy to be hurt when anyone attacks you, online or off. I, too used to get upset and feel bad back in the early days of the internet when I’d look at my instant messages and find that some idiot had sent me a flamer.

However, today, I’ve learned to see it for what it is and the cyber-bullies for who they are. And that in itself can be a real boost to the self-esteem.

When I think of the term “cyber-bully,” I instantly get a mental picture of one of two types of people:

1. Some broke, unemployed and shirtless fat guy sitting and typing on a computer in his granny’s basement, while stuffing his face with Cheetos and sporting a man-bun.

2. A skinny, pimple-faced, bespectacled incel who only trolls the net to compensate for his lack of sex and a social life in the real world.

Any time I have a cyber-bully who’s hot on my trail, and I occasionally do, one of those pathetic pictures immediately pops up in my mind, and I can’t help but chuckle to myself. Because cyber-bullies often use fake profiles or screen names with either a blank photo or one that’s fake, it only shows that they’re faceless cowards and not to be taken seriously.

These losers talk so big and tough behind that keyboard- oh, yeah! They’re real badasses online, but you can bet that if they ever saw you on the street, they wouldn’t have the sack to step up. So, ask yourself these questions.

Should we take these wusses so seriously?

Should we give these worthless schmucks the power to make us feel bad about ourselves?

Should we value their useless gibberish?

Though I can’t speak for anyone else, I have a hard time valuing the worthless opinions of anyone who doesn’t have a name or face. Any person who’s a Rambo in cyberspace but a George McFly on the street, I can only take with a horselaugh and a grain of salt.

You either have a big, brass pair or you don’t.

It takes a real zero to spend even a few hours a day trolling other users. You just know that the person has no ambition, no prospects, and no life. Understand that when you’re cyber-bullied, often you’re dealing with a poor soul who is bored, lonely, and miserable. And the only way he/she can feel good about themselves and have power is to do what they’re doing now.

Therefore, if any cyber-bully attacks you online, you shouldn’t put a lot of stock into their opinions. Their words don’t carry a lot of weight. Understand that cyber-bullies are often people who flame others because they’re insecure, self-loathing, and have nothing going for them.

lazy big fat man sitting at sofa play tablet all day no activity unhealthy lifestyle bad habit

Online is the only way these pathetic people can have a social life, and that alone speaks volumes about the kind of people they are and the crappy lives they lead. So, again, should you take these losers seriously? Are they worth getting angry or depressed over? These idiots can’t make you feel bad about yourself unless you allow them to.

Though words have power, and they can hurt you, you should always consider the source. Because in truth, most cyber-bullies live miserable existences and should only be pitied.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

UPDATE: 5 Ways to Bust a Cyber-Stalker Who Trolls Your Blog

Some trolls just aren’t very smart. With the help of a few other bloggers who have also been trolled by these nut house candidates, we have now found the names of the people who have been stalking our blogs. I won’t mention these blogger’s names or the names of their blogs, but I want to thank them so much for helping to bust these morons.

So, here’s the latest scoop:

sposa7@gmail.com is the email belonging to Sarah Posa and she uses the screen name “peepeepooperooski.” we found her Facebook profile below. Another troll is Kalib Jeram from New Zealand. As you can see, he and Sarah are friends. They are also friends of Sheina Ashley-Vann, another troll who absolutely is a fan of this blog. 😂 They seem to troll the internet together as a group.

I have these screenshots saved and I am currently outing these people on Facebook and other platforms to warn people and to protect other people from them. You can tell by the screenshots that these are very sick people who need professional help. They have serious psychological issues and honestly, I wouldn’t want anyone to run into them on the street because I’d be concerned that they possibly would resort to harming the person or to murder.

Before I go any further, I want to sincerely apologize for the horrible language these trolls use in these screenshot messages. Its not language I use or approve of. However, I have blacked out the absolute worst of this word-porn they use but not all. The reason I haven’t concealed all of it is because you have to expose the behavior and in exposing the behavior, sadly, you must expose the words they use as well. If you choose not to read any further, know that I understand and would never hold it against you. Here are the profiles of Sarah and Kalib below.

Smile, you’re on candid screenshot.

However, I feel I must post because these people need to be exposed and others need to be aware so that they know who to avoid on social media, in the blogosphere, and on the street. In order to avoid an enemy, whether it be someone who is out to harm you, or a serial killer who threatens the general public, you must know exactly who it is.

Here are Kalib’s messages. In his messages, he even claims to have hacked and stalked this Sarah girl and apparently, she likes being stalked by this guy from down under. Maybe weirdos are the only types of guys she can attract and this is the only way she can get a boyfriend, I don’t know, but yikes!

 

 

As you can see, once I exposed them in the first post, they began using fake screen names and fake email addresses, but it was no use hiding. These are the same people and we know it.

 

As you can see, all three of these cyber-bullies are connected to one another. Sarah Posa, Kalib Jemar, and Sheina Ashley-Vann are all on each other’s friends lists on Facebook.  And in some of the screenshots, they even tried to disguise their names and use fake screen names after I posted “5 Ways to Bust a Cyber-Stalker Who Trolls Your Blog” but too little too late.

Once Sarah and Kalib stopped harassing me, than Sheina-Ashley Vann began her commenting again. As you can see below her Facebook profile picture, she is friends with Sarah and Kalib. My hunch is that they are a part of a cyber-bullying ring. And yes, there are such rings and groups out there. Many of them get paid by powerful entities to troll other internet users. Luckily, we can moderate these kinds of comments by blocking them and sending them directly to the trash folder to be deleted.

The best way you can get rid of a cyber troll is to out them. Screenshot their posts, comments, and replies. Then go to their profile picture, or find their profile pictures, screenshot them, then spread far and wide. Warn people about them because if they cyber-bully you, they will do it to someone else and that someone else could be a child or teen who may not have the confidence to handle such attacks. I would hate knowing that someone committed suicide because of one or all of these people and that I could’ve spoke out against this but chose to keep silent. Blood would be on my hands too. So, I cannot, in good conscience, stay silent about this. It’s up to me to expose these people to prevent a possible suicide in the future.

I managed to get a reprieve from the trolls because they disappeared for the last two weeks but I knew they’d be back. And sure enough,  one of them returned.

Sarah Posa, AKA, “peepeepooperooski” has once again inserted herself back into the blogosphere. And, as you can see in her comments, she has some serious mental health issues. These are some pretty bizarre comments! It’s time to reveal the real people behind this nonsense.

 

Again, I want to thank the anonymous bloggers who helped me find this information. Perhaps if we expose these creeps and bare their activities for the world to see, they just might go into hiding and never bother another internet user again.

4 Things You Must Do to Stop Cyber-Bullies in Their Tracks

When you’re being cyber-bullied, it’s so tempting to come back at the trolls with the same vitriol they lash against you. When you’re being attacked online nonstop, the urge to do so can grow so strong that it almost physically hurts not to.

I totally get that because I’ve been there. It’s a natural human reaction to defend ourselves when we’re attacked. However, it’s no secret that when targets do push back against their bullies, the bullies will take their perfectly normal reaction and use it against them to make them look like the instigators.

Understand that when bullies attack, their goal is to bait you into an emotional reaction so they can use it against you to mar your reputation, destroy your credibility, and therefore, paint you as the villain.

And when we’re emotion, the logical brain completely shuts down and renders us unable to think clearly. This is when we’re most likely to make mistakes. We’re likely to say (or type) something out of anger that the bullies can twist and spin to fit their narrative.

This is why it’s so important that we keep our heads and find a better way to respond. Notice I said respond instead of “react.”

Just as you would never feed a bear, you should also never feed a troll.

And the best way not to feed a troll but to respond effectively and successfully is what I call the SBRE response.

SBRE- Screenshot, Block, Report, Expose.

Screenshot for evidence against the cyber-bully. A picture is worth a thousand words, and you need hard evidence to prove cyber-bullying. Screenshots are the hardest evidence you can gather. Cyber-bullies aren’t stupid, they are more likely to attack you on forums like Messenger because it’s a private message platform. Unlike ten to fifteen years ago, most won’t attack you publicly on Facebook, so Messenger is their platform of choice because of the privacy.

If you can, let it percolate a little- give them time to post multiple attacks to establish a pattern. Respond with innocent comebacks like, “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “You seem so angry” to keep them on the attack. Screenshot each attack. You can also give no response at all and watch as the troll becomes redundant in their attacks. As mentioned, the objective here is to establish a pattern of cyber-bullying by this individual and gather evidence of it.

Remember Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War.” The trick is to let the enemy destroy himself.”

Block the cyber-bully to protect yourself from future attacks. Once you block the person, be on the lookout for a sudden barrage of friend requests from people with fake screen names, blank profile pictures, and pictures of cartoons or animals. And never accept friend requests from these people.

Report the bullies, describing in detail how long they’ve harassed you and use the screenshots as evidence.

And now, the fun part!

Expose the cyber-trolls by plastering the screenshots all over social media and the internet. Out them! Expose them for the creeps they really are, not only to humiliate them, but more importantly, to protect others from falling victim to their attacks in the future. Because you would never want what you’ve endured to happen to anyone else!

Cyber-bullies are the worst and most cowardly. However, if you play your cards right and use the SBRE response like I did a few years ago, you will be so surprised how quickly your cyber-bullies will disappear, and you will once again be free to surf the internet in peace.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Being Predictable Is Bad for Targets of Bullying

Chess board and text “Strategic plan” Business planning concept

Being unpredictable can be your best weapon against bullies. Anytime you are predictable in a climate of bullying, you’re a sitting duck. Bullies will soon know what gets you upset, what will get you to fly off the handle and do something irrational and how to sabotage you socially and academically. You must be versatile if you expect to throw the bullies off-kilter.

Predictability is human nature. People are creatures of habit and have a need to see familiarity in the actions of others. If you’re a target of bullying, any predictability on your part will give your bullies the idea that they have control of you.

Understand that the reason bullies have so much power over you is that you’re too darn predictable. You make it too easy for them to predict what you’ll do. Because they’ve studied and picked up on your habits, they have the foreknowledge of what your reaction will be. And they’ll weaponize it every chance they get!

bullying strategy plan game table goal

But when you flip the script and begin deliberately exhibiting behavior that has no consistency and no objectives, you automatically throw your bullies for a loop! Take your unpredictable behavior up several notches and bullies will be intimidated.

Now. Before I go on, let me mention that here’s one good thing about your predictability- you’ve gotten your bullies so used to your patterns that you’ve lulled them off to sleep, which will make any versatility on your part all the more powerful once you start deliberately changing your reactions to their attacks.

So, here goes:

If you’re a target of bullying, you want to make it look you have no clear strategy. You must scramble your behavior patterns and your reactions to confuse the bullies if you want them to back off. And when you do, not only will it confuse them, it’ll scare the stupid out of them!

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I’ll use a scenario with one of my old classmates as an example:

Just two years ago, Carol, one of my old classmates, attacked me online after she found out that I was collaborating with a producer out of New York on a screenplay adaptation of my first published book.

Let me start by saying that we hadn’t seen each other since high school. Back then, I was quiet, shy and timid girl, but with a hair-trigger temper when I was pushed too far. That’s how Carol had remembered me.

And had she verbally attacked me back then, I either would’ve walked away from her without saying anything back to her, or, on a bad day, I would’ve fought fire with fire- screaming back at her, cursing her out and calling her every name but a child of God.

This time, I did neither. As you’ll see in the screenshots below, I reacted in a way she never expected me to.

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Carol expected me to fly off the handle, have a moment of sheer stupidity, and counter-attack with the same vitriol and craziness she dished out to me first. Then she could have used my counter-attack against me and made me look like the instigator. That’s exactly what she had plans to do, and I knew it.

However!

Instead of reacting, I responded.

I remained calm and told her how it was without name-calling, without cursing, and without using all caps. And boy! Did it throw her into a hissy fit! Carol literally FREAKED! ‘Had a complete meltdown online as she sent me hateful message after hateful message. I happily took screenshots and outed her all over social media before finally blocking her.

By reacting in a way I knew she never expected, I threw her off balance and not only instilled fear, but induced panic and rage in her. I shook her up so much so that she couldn’t think clearly nor rationally. She stumbled, making blunder after blunder.

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In being unpredictable, I forced her to give me the goods I needed to expose her with. She fell face-first into the trap I calmly laid for her, and I have to admit. Outsmarting her felt soooo good! Carol played right into my hands and didn’t realize her mistake until after she’d calmed down. But by then, it was too late. Carol had made herself look like a complete lunatic and had I acted as she had, I would’ve looked just as nutty as she did.

‘You see? When you deliberately respond in ways your bullies don’t expect, you throw them off-kilter and force them to react out of fear, confusion, even anger. And when a person reacts out of pure emotion, they make a truckload of mistakes, blunders, and gaffes, then end up making a colossal fool of themselves.

Even better, after I exposed Carol online, many other old classmates, out of loyalty to her, came to her defense and attacked me the same way she had. Although they knew that she was in the wrong and that she’d attacked me without provocation, their loyalty to their old high school buddy was much stronger than their sense of right and wrong.

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Carol’s, brother, sister and son also joined in the vitriol. They even went to the pages of my husband and my son and attacked them too. Carol’s allies didn’t private message them but went to their public pages where all could see. In doing this, they also exposed themselves for the idiots they were while we sat back and laughed.

That’s what reacting out of emotion does. It causes us to make dumb mistakes.

Needless to say, after I exposed them (or they exposed themselves) those people backed off quickly and I never heard from them again. Neither did my family. They now stay far away because they were surprised to find that I’m nowhere near as naïve as I was in high school. I stayed calm and was smart enough to deflect their attacks and use them against them.

Again. Understand that by doing something unexpected, you gain a huge advantage over your bullies. And when bullies can’t figure out what you’re going to do, it scares them to death and they’ll almost always react out of fear!

Nothing is more frightening than when you make a move nobody would ever expect. It’s the reason natural disasters are so scary because no one knows when and where they’ll hit next. It’s why deer hunters can track down their prey and kill them. They know the habits and patterns of behavior of the deer they hunt.

bullies jealous envy envious

Realize that habits and patterns are the worst things that go against a target of bullying because bullies pick up on your routines and use them against you.

In closing, you must learn to unsettle your bullies by allowing them to see you do things they’d never expect. If a bully launches an attack, you should counter-attack suddenly, without warning, in a way they’d wouldn’t expect you to, and when they least expect it.

You must purposefully mislead your bullies to trick them into an emotional reaction!

If you’re going to be predictable, don’t stay that way. Do it for long enough that your bullies get used to your patterns and are lulled into a false sense of security, then strike suddenly with something unexpected! And that’s how you get them to leave you alone!

Cyber-Bullying- Bullying That Can Be Most Devastating

I’m fortunate enough to have grown up in a time when cyber-bullying was unheard of. When I was in school, “Street Bullying” or “Playground Bullying” was the type of bullying my generation endured.

“Street Bullying” happens face to face. It happens on the playground, in the hallways, the bathrooms, and locker rooms at school. Years ago, a student could escape it and have some form of refuge once the dismissal bell rang, and school was over for the day. And when it got too much to endure, the target simply changed schools, and the problem was solved.

Sadly, those days are long gone. With today’s technology, bullies have unlimited access to their targets by way of “Cyber-bullying.” During the last twenty-five years, technology’s advancement has introduced email, text, and social media. These new vehicles of communication have their benefits. However, they also have their pitfalls.

A bully can nowadays get online and torment their targets for as long as they want without ceasing nor accountability. They can, in essence, reach into the target’s own home and torment them from afar.

Cyber-bullying, or online bullying, is harassment of another person using social media, text messages, voice mail, email, and instant messages. It is, in my opinion, the worst kind of bullying there has ever been. Here are the reasons:

1.Bullies are COWARDS!
Your attackers have the ability to hide behind a fake screen name, or they may create fake social media accounts to conceal their identities. They do this to avoid detection and the risk of accountability for their evil actions.

With a cyberbully, you do not know who is attacking you. Also, they can use several different screen names to make it look like many people agree with them and are attacking you, when it may be, in fact, only one poster committing the harassment. This is done to further intimidate the target.

2. Gone are the days when bullying only occurred on the playground or in the locker room. Before technology took off in the days of old, a target could finally escape their tormentors with the ringing of the dismissal bell at school or after punching out at work..

Back then, you could go home to your family and not have to worry about being bullied again until the next school day. You could at least get a break from the torment. However, not so anymore. Technology has a lot of good qualities, one of which is convenience. Unfortunately, nothing is 100% foolproof. With the rise of social media, text, voice mail, and email, bullies can now pursue their targets 24-7. There is no longer an escape!

3. The third reason cyber-bullying is much worse than traditional or street bullying is that the taunts, insults, threats, rumors, and lies can be read by a much wider audience, causing loss of relationships, family, friends, businesses, finances, and opportunities.
On the emotional side, the target may experience feelings of shock, bewilderment, anger, sadness, despair, depression, hopelessness, and thoughts of suicide.

Traditional bullying is terrible and causes those feelings as well. However, it is something that you can get away from. On the other hand, you can never escape cyber-bullying. This alone is what makes this type of bullying so sinister and so devastating!

If you are a cyber-bullying victim, you mustn’t respond to the incendiary posts of cyber-bullies, no matter how tempting it may be. However, I realize that some attacks, especially those, which hit you in the jugular, can cause you to respond out of emotion.

This does not mean that you are a bad person for responding to attacks. It does not mean that you are stupid. It only means that you are a human being with feelings, and our first instinct is always to defend ourselves and our loved ones when threatened. It is completely understandable.

But no matter our circumstances, we must try to never respond to the ignorance and stupidity of bullies or cyber-bullies. As difficult as this may be, it is better to never give internet trolls what they want. And what they want is a response, any response.

They want to kick you while you are already down and inflict even more pain. If you respond in any way, shape, or form, they will know that they have reached their goal. But if they never hear from you, it’s going to disappoint them, and they just might give up and move on to someone else.

4. Instead of responding, out them! Take screenshots and expose them!

Cyber-bullying can happen to people of any age. Not only children and teens, but adults can also be cyber-bullied. Although I have gotten along with mostly everyone as an adult, there have been a few times that I have been cyber-bullied, one instance being right after the death of my husband. I can tell you that after refusing to respond to any of it, the harassment died, and the thread was eventually removed. No one has bothered me since.

In their weak attempts to put me down, my cyber-bullies unwittingly made me so many new friends, and I received so much support from all over the country. It is amazing how the actions of a bully can sometimes turn into something wonderful.

Scared and sad female teenagers with computer laptops suffer cyberbullying and harassment being online abused by stalker or gossip feeling desperate and humiliated in cyberbullying.

I will be forever grateful to the people (even strangers) who stood beside me during this tragic time. I hope this helps you if you are cyber-attacked. And I want to assure you that there is always hope, no matter how hopeless a situation may be.

Cyber-bullying can be stressful enough for adults but devastating for minors. Adults are emotionally better equipped and more adept at handling themselves in bullying situations, whereas children and teens have yet to fully develop good coping mechanisms.

Children do not have the cognitive thinking skills nor the processing ability that adults possess. Adults can be hurt by online bullying because they are human and have feelings also. However, any well-rounded adult can better look at the situation and see the lies posted online for exactly what they are…LIES. And they have the ability to analyze the bully and see the person as he/she is- useless trash who is in desperate need of a life.

And that in itself can actually boost the bullied adult’s self-esteem…just knowing what a bottom-of-the-barrel, miserable piece of garbage the bully really is. In most cases, an adult can usually laugh it off and go on about their business, provided it doesn’t affect his/her family, marriage, business, opportunities, or way of life. An adult can refuse to accept another bullying adult’s lies and tell them to go blow it out their ear.

A child has not learned to do that yet. Children and teenagers have totally different values than adults. While most “mature” adults place the most value on family, career, and home and less value on popularity, children and teens place the most value on popularity…their friends and being accepted. Most children and teens place emphasis on how others (mainly their peers) see them.

They want to fit in, be liked, and be “cool.” And when those things are threatened, as they always are when he/she is cyber-attacked, it can have devastating effects on self-esteem.

As parents and grandparents, we need to teach our children confidence as confidence is the best weapon against a bully. In my opinion, teaching confidence is the most effective way to protect them because bullies are cowards, and they always seek out kids who are insecure, self-conscious and have low self-esteem. And they do this because they know that a child with low self-esteem is less likely to stand up to them.

7 Common Tricks of Cyber-Bullies and Trolls

Cyberbullying can be bullying of the most devastating kind and for anyone- children, teens, and adults alike. This is because attacks are seen by a much wider audience, and there’s a high degree of anonymity as cyberbullies are cowards and hide behind fake screen names and profiles to avoid exposure.

Here are 7 common tricks they use to cover their own behinds and make you look like the perpetrator.

1. They will inbox you with a barrage of insidious messages. Again, cyberbullies are cowards and fear being detected for the sick creeps they are. So, they use the inbox to unleash their vitriol onto their victims. Even if you delete the person from your friends’ list, they can still send messages through the inbox. Just as the woman above did.

2. They will tag you in a post, then claim you’re stalking their page. This happened to me once. Although this is rather obvious (or should be) to others and used by dumber and maybe drunk cyberbullies, it does happen.

3. They rally their friends to troll your page. Once you hit the “Block” button, watch for an influx of friend requests from people you don’t know or who would otherwise never in a million years “friend” you. This almost always happens just after you’ve blocked a cyberbully.

4. They troll the pages of your spouse, family, and friends. Cyberbullies do this to seek and gather information about you and those you’re closest to, which is then used as either ammunition to defame you, make fun of you, or to attack those you love.

5. They create hurtful, degrading, and humiliating memes of you. Cyberbullies do this to intimidate, embarrass you, and to bait others to harass you.

6. They have others (or they do it themselves) to insert images of porn and other disgusting materials onto your timeline—all designed to cause embarrassment.

7. They copy your profile photo and create duplicate and fake profiles in your name, claiming to be you. They then send requests to all your family, friends, and associates to bait them to accept. Once the requests have been accepted, the cyberbully then sends your associates deplorable messages or tags them and posts flaming or lewd posts to their timelines in hopes of causing friction between you and the people you care about.

And sadly, there isn’t much anyone can do until better technology is introduced to track down these vile bullies, and more robust laws are passed against this practice.

Here are ways you can deal with a cyberbully.

1. Out them. Expose them by taking screenshots of their profiles and of the nasty messages they send you. Screenshot every message or vile comment. Then plaster them all over the internet. Hey, they asked for it. So, put them on blast. Exposure is the best way to shut these idiots down.

2. Unfriend and BLOCK them. You don’t need them in your life- or stalking your page. Get rid of them! Also, the sooner you block the creep, the less likely they are to send you a virus or get access to any sensitive information.

3. Delete the incendiary posts or comments but keep the screenshots stored in a folder. Always take screenshots and save any online bullying evidence because you never know when you might need them for litigation.

By being vigilant, I was able to save myself a lot of headaches.

If other tricks have been used against you and that I have left out, please feel free to comment.

Cyber-Bullies, Stalkers, and Trolls

Bullies are cowards, but Cyber-bullies are the biggest, most pathetic ones. They sit in the safety of their homes (or their mom’s basements, attics, and backyard sheds), hide behind fake profiles and screen names, and troll the internet and social media in search of victims.

If you’ve ever dealt with a cyber-bully, I knew how you feel, and I understand. Words do have power and it’s easy to be hurt when anyone attacks you, online or off. I, too used to get upset and feel bad back in the early days of the internet when I’d look at my instant messages and find that some idiot had sent me a flamer.

However, today, I’ve learned to see it for what it is and the cyber-bullies for who they are. And that in itself can be a real boost to the self-esteem.

When I think of the term “cyber-bully,” I instantly get a mental picture of one of two types of people:

1. Some broke, unemployed and shirtless fat guy sitting and typing on a computer in his granny’s basement, while stuffing his face with Cheetos and sporting a man-bun.

2. A skinny, pimple-faced, bespectacled geek who only trolls the net to compensate for his lack of sex and a social life in the real world.

Any time I have a cyber-bully who’s hot on my trail, and I occasionally do, one of those pathetic pictures immediately pops up in my mind, and I can’t help but chuckle to myself. Because cyber-bullies often use a fake profile or screen name with either a blank photo or one that’s fake, it only shows that they’re faceless cowards and not to be taken seriously.

These losers talk so big and tough behind that keyboard- oh, yeah! They’re real badasses online, but you can bet that if they ever saw you on the street, they wouldn’t have the sack to step up. So, ask yourself these questions.

Should we take these wusses so seriously?

Should we give these worthless schmucks the power to make us feel bad about ourselves?

Should we value their useless gibberish?

Though I can’t speak for anyone else, I have a hard time valuing the worthless opinions of anyone who doesn’t have a name or face. Any person who’s a Rambo in cyberspace but a George McFly on the street, I can only take with a horselaugh and a grain of salt.

You either have a big, brass pair or you don’t.

It takes a real zero to spend even a few hours a day trolling other users. You just know that the person has no ambition, no prospects, and no life. Understand that when you’re cyber-bullied, often you’re dealing with a poor soul who is bored, lonely, and miserable. And the only way he/she can feel good about themselves and have power is to do what they’re doing now.

Therefore, if any cyber-bully attacks you online, you shouldn’t put a lot of stock into their opinions. Their words don’t carry a lot of weight. Understand that cyber-bullies are often people who flame others because they’re insecure, self-loathing, and have nothing going for them.

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Online is the only way these pathetic people can have a social life, and that alone speaks volumes about the kind of people they are and the crappy lives they lead. So, again, should you take these losers seriously? Are they worth getting angry or depressed over? These idiots can’t make you feel bad about yourself unless you allow them to.

Though words have power, and they can hurt you, you should always consider the source. Because in truth, most cyber-bullies live miserable existences and should only be pitied.

Bullies Always Count on a Target’s Predictability

Being unpredictable can be your best weapon against bullies. Anytime you are predictable in a climate of bullying, you’re a sitting duck. Bullies will soon know what gets you upset, what will get you to fly off the handle and do something irrational and how to sabotage you socially and academically. You must be versatile if you expect to throw the bullies off-kilter.

Predictability is human nature. People are creatures of habit and have a need to see familiarity in the actions of others. If you’re a target of bullying, any predictability on your part will give your bullies the idea that they have control of you.

Understand that the reason bullies have so much power over you is that you’re too darn predictable. You make it too easy for them to predict what you’ll do. Because they’ve studied and picked up on your habits, they have the foreknowledge of what your reaction will be. And they’ll weaponize it every chance they get!

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But when you flip the script and begin deliberately exhibiting behavior that has no consistency and no objectives, you automatically throw your bullies for a loop! Take your unpredictable behavior up several notches and bullies will be intimidated.

Now. Before I go on, let me mention that here’s one good thing about your predictability- you’ve gotten your bullies so used to your patterns that you’ve lulled them off to sleep, which will make any versatility on your part all the more powerful once you start deliberately changing your reactions to their attacks.

So, here goes:

If you’re a target of bullying, you want to make it look you have no clear strategy. You must scramble your behavior patterns and your reactions to confuse the bullies if you want them to back off. And when you do, not only will it confuse them, it’ll scare the stupid out of them!

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I’ll use a scenario with one of my old classmates as an example:

Just two years ago, Carol, one of my old classmates, attacked me online after she found out that I was collaborating with a producer out of New York on a screenplay adaptation of my first published book.

Let me start by saying that we hadn’t seen each other since high school. Back then, I was quiet, shy and timid girl, but with a hair-trigger temper when I was pushed too far. That’s how Carol had remembered me.

And had she verbally attacked me back then, I either would’ve walked away from her without saying anything back to her, or, on a bad day, I would’ve fought fire with fire- screaming back at her, cursing her out and calling her every name but a child of God.

This time, I did neither. As you’ll see in the screenshots below, I reacted in a way she never expected me to.

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Carol expected me to fly off the handle, have a moment of sheer stupidity, and counter-attack with the same vitriol and craziness she dished out to me first. Then she could have used my counter-attack against me and made me look like the instigator. That’s exactly what she had plans to do, and I knew it.

However!

Instead of reacting, I responded.

I remained calm and told her how it was without name-calling, without cursing, and without using all caps. And boy! Did it throw her into a hissy fit! Carol literally FREAKED! ‘Had a complete meltdown online as she sent me hateful message after hateful message. I happily took screenshots and outed her all over social media before finally blocking her.

By reacting in a way I knew she never expected, I threw her off balance and not only instilled fear, but induced panic and rage in her. I shook her up so much so that she couldn’t think clearly nor rationally. She stumbled, making blunder after blunder.

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In being unpredictable, I forced her to give me the goods I needed to expose her with. She fell face-first into the trap I calmly laid for her, and I have to admit. Outsmarting her felt soooo good! Carol played right into my hands and didn’t realize her mistake until after she’d calmed down. But by then, it was too late. Carol had made herself look like a complete lunatic and had I acted as she had, I would’ve looked just as nutty as she did.

‘You see? When you deliberately respond in ways your bullies don’t expect, you throw them off-kilter and force them to react out of fear, confusion, even anger. And when a person reacts out of pure emotion, they make a truckload of mistakes, blunders, and gaffes, then end up making a colossal fool of themselves.

Even better, after I exposed Carol online, many other old classmates, out of loyalty to her, came to her defense and attacked me the same way she had. Although they knew that she was in the wrong and that she’d attacked me without provocation, their loyalty to their old high school buddy was much stronger than their sense of right and wrong.

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Carol’s, brother, sister and son also joined in the vitriol. They even went to the pages of my husband and my son and attacked them too. Carol’s allies didn’t private message them but went to their public pages where all could see. In doing this, they also exposed themselves for the idiots they were while we sat back and laughed.

That’s what reacting out of emotion does. It causes us to make dumb mistakes.

Needless to say, after I exposed them (or they exposed themselves) those people backed off quickly and I never heard from them again. Neither did my family. They now stay far away because they were surprised to find that I’m nowhere near as naïve as I was in high school. I stayed calm and was smart enough to deflect their attacks and use them against them.

Again. Understand that by doing something unexpected, you gain a huge advantage over your bullies. And when bullies can’t figure out what you’re going to do, it scares them to death and they’ll almost always react out of fear!

Nothing is more frightening than when you make a move nobody would ever expect. It’s the reason natural disasters are so scary because no one knows when and where they’ll hit next. It’s why deer hunters can track down their prey and kill them. They know the habits and patterns of behavior of the deer they hunt.

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Realize that habits and patterns are the worst things that go against a target of bullying because bullies pick up on your routines and use them against you.

In closing, you must learn to unsettle your bullies by allowing them to see you do things they’d never expect. If a bully launches an attack, you should counter-attack suddenly, without warning, in a way they’d wouldn’t expect you to, and when they least expect it.

You must purposefully mislead your bullies to trick them into an emotional reaction!

If you’re going to be predictable, don’t stay that way. Do it for long enough that your bullies get used to your patterns and are lulled into a false sense of security, then strike suddenly with something unexpected! And that’s how you get them to leave you alone!