7 Ways to Expose a Bully and Keep Yourself Safe

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The best defense is to know bullying when it happens to you, and to know how to unveil a bully’s deplorable behavior. Here’s a list of several things you can do to rip the mask off and keep yourself safe.

1. Know your enemy. How you do this is to stand back and observe the people around you, but without looking like you are watching them. Pay close attention to body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. I can’t stress enough the importance of this.

This is how you find out who the trouble makers are. If you see another student or coworker gossip and make trouble for others, you can be sure that in time, they will do the same to you.

2. Document everything! As it has been said, “if it isn’t documented, it never happened”. Keep a journal and write down everything. I did this in junior high and high school just in case one of my bullies either hurt me bad enough to hospitalize me, or worse- killed me.

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You must write down the names of your bullies, the names of any bystanders or authority (teachers, principal, or any member of authority) present at the time the altercation took place, the date, time, place it happened, what happened and if possible, why it happened. Also, record what is said and by whom. Document every… single… detail!

3. Do not reveal any information about yourself that you would not want to be told to anyone. Including your friends! If you do, you’re asking for trouble because if you are the target of a bully, you can be sure that your bullies will, at some point, either try to pry information out of your friends or they will turn your friends against you altogether.

4. Keep a low profile. Don’t do anything that may draw attention to yourself. And stay away from places the bullies may gather. Think, “Out of sight, out of mind.” Just don’t make it obvious to your bullies that you are ducking and dodging them. I avoided several confrontations by simply laying low.

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However, be advised that avoidance will not work if you have a determined bully after you. If a person wants to get to you badly enough, they will seek you out until they find you.

5. Save any threatening texts, emails, social media messages/posts, and/or voice mails for evidence. And if possible, hide a digital recorder on you or ease your hand down into your purse and set your cellphone to video during any altercations. Do it covertly so that the bully doesn’t know what you are doing. Just make sure you live in a one-party consent jurisdiction. Screenshot any nasty emails, messages, comments, and posts on social media.

Keep your composure and be sure not to tarnish the recording by yelling or using foul language.

6. NEVER brag about any evidence you have against a bully. Not even to your best friend! Again, bullies have a knack for prying information out of people, even your friends. They can also turn your friends against you, making them more than happy to volunteer the information.

gavel and soundblock of justice law and lawyer working on wooden

gavel and soundblock of justice law and lawyer working on wooden desk background

Don’t do it! Anytime you are a target of bullies, you are in no position to trust anyone!

7. Call the bully out in front of an audience. This is risky and could bring retaliation. However, the bully will also know that you are on to them and you just might intimidate them enough that they will leave you alone. It happened to me on a few occasions.

But keep in mind that this doesn’t happen for everyone. Calling the bully out in front of people can also humiliate the bully and make that person more determined to get you. So access the bully’s personality and the situation carefully before you decide to do this.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

3 Ingredients Bullies Use to Build Their Image of Perfection

We all know that bullies are cowards who hide behind a façade. But what makes that façade? What are the exact ingredients that make up the bully’s façade?

Before I give you each ingredient in detail, let me tell you that bullies are like peacocks. They like to strut around and fan out their tails, showing us their prettiest colors. And they do this to collect admirers, followers, and allies. That’s exactly what the bully’s façade is used for- to draw people to them. And bullies are good at duping their cohorts into thinking that they’re perfect and can’t be touched.

Only their targets know what’s behind the facades- victims know the real people behind the masks. So, again, what exactly are the ingredients that bullies use to build their carefully crafted facades and promote those fake images?

Here are your answers:

1. Impeccable Attire. Most seasoned and well-practiced bullies dress in the best and latest fashions. These people love to be pleasing to the eyes because they understand that, sadly, most people are materialistic and beauty-obsessed, and everything is based on appearances. So, they wear the fanciest clothes, the trendiest hairstyles, the sexiest makeup, etc.

They show off these things to look the best and give the appearance that they’re rolling in money and that their life is perfect- all to impress others. Most of all, bullies also do it for one-upmanship!

And…here’s something else! Many of my bullies didn’t have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out. Not that being poor makes a person bad, but!

Most bullies will go flat broke buying fancy clothes and sporty cars to pimp around town in just to keep up a fake persona. And they’ll be up to their eyeballs in debt. Many of these people are constantly having a hard time paying or failing to pay their bills.

They’re the types who will run to mommy and daddy for bailouts and handouts, yet they spend a fortune on clothes, hairstyles, manicures, pedicures, facials, cosmetic surgeries, you name it!

Because of this, I’ve known many workplace bullies who committed crimes such as theft, embezzlement, and forgery because they lived way beyond their means and got their butts in a crack they couldn’t get out of. And they got caught!

2. They put on a good show. Seasoned bullies are also the best showmen. They put on an act to gain admiration, support, or sympathy. They make grand gestures. They’re good at reading people and finding out their likes and dislikes and how they react to certain stimuli. They make themselves constantly hyperaware of the people and moods around them, then adapt to them.

You’ll often find these bullies standing in the very center of the rooms they’re in, and they’re the types who despise being outshone, outsmarted, or outdone.

3. They’re master wordsmiths. They use clichés, euphemisms, and loaded words to impress others with their speech. They also use big words to prove how smart they are when, in reality, they’re as incompetent as they come. They also tell people what they want to hear and say everything with conviction. This is why they’re such convincing liars and why they’re so good at making the target look like the bad guy.

But here’s something else you need to know:

Although seasoned bullies are very popular among people, they’re also hated and feared by rivals and enemies. And they do eventually get brought down. I’ve seen it happen many times.

Julius Caesar was one such example.

“Caesar had his Brutus and Charles I, his Cromwell…” – Patrick Henry.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Seeing Through the Bully’s Facade

We all know that bullies are cowards who hide behind a façade. But what makes that façade? What are the exact ingredients that make up the bully’s façade?

Before I give you each ingredient in detail, let me tell you that bullies are like peacocks. They like to strut around and fan out their tails, showing us their prettiest colors. And they do this to collect admirers, followers, and allies. That’s exactly what the bully’s façade is used for- to draw people to them. And bullies are good at duping their cohorts into thinking that they’re perfect and can’t be touched.

Only their targets know what’s behind the facades- victims know the real people behind the masks. So, again, what exactly are the ingredients that bullies use to build their carefully crafted facades and promote those fake images?

Here are your answers:

1. Impeccable Attire. Most seasoned and well-practiced bullies dress in the best and latest fashions. These people love to be pleasing to the eyes because they understand that, sadly, most people are materialistic and beauty-obsessed, and everything is based on appearances. So, they wear the fanciest clothes, the sportiest hairstyles, the sexiest makeup.

They show off these things to look the best and give the appearance that they’re rolling in money and that their life is perfect- all to impress others. Most of all, bullies also do it for one-upmanship!

And…here’s something else! Many of my bullies didn’t have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out. Not that being poor makes a person bad, but!

Most bullies will go flat broke buying fancy clothes and sporty cars to pimp around town in just to keep up a fake persona. And they’ll be up to their eyeballs in debt. Many of these people are constantly having a hard time paying or failing to pay their bills.

They’re the types who will run to mommy and daddy for bailouts and handouts, yet they spend a fortune on clothes, hairstyles, manicures, pedicures, facials, cosmetic surgeries, you name it!

Because of this, I’ve known many workplace bullies who committed crimes such as theft, embezzlement, and forgery because they lived way beyond their means and got their butts in a crack they couldn’t get out of. And they got caught!

2. They put on a good show. Seasoned bullies are also the best showmen. They put on an act to gain admiration, support, or sympathy. They make grand gestures. They’re good at reading people and finding out their likes and dislikes and how they react to certain stimuli. They make themselves constantly hyperaware of the people and moods around them, then adapt to them.

You’ll often find these bullies standing in the very center of even room they’re in, and they’re the types who despise being outshone, outsmarted, or outdone.

3. They’re master wordsmiths. They use dumb clichés, euphemisms, and loaded words to impress others with their speech. They also use big words to prove how smart they are when, in reality, they’re as incompetent as they come. They also tell people what they want to hear and say everything with conviction. This is why they’re such convincing liars and why they’re so good at making the target look like the bad guy.

But here’s something else you need to know:

Although seasoned bullies are very popular among people, they’re also hated and feared by rivals and enemies. And they do eventually get brought down. I’ve seen it happen many times.

Julius Caesar was one such example.

“Caesar had his Brutus and Charles I, his Cromwell…” – Patrick Henry.