Why an Outside Supoort System Is So Important When You’re Being Bullied

When bullies target you at school or in the workplace, a support system can be the difference between suicide and the will to live, and I tell you this from experience.

During the time I went to school and was bullied there, people didn’t consider the damage bullying did to its targets because it just wasn’t talked about. It wasn’t talked about because society was under the misguided belief that bullying was “a right of passage” – a “normal occurrence that all kids went through.”

But! If your were a target back then, I’ll bet that even back then, you knew that there was nothing normal about it. Even then, you knew that most kids didn’t endure bullying but only a certain few.

And because of this widely held belief, you were ashamed to talk about it and were forced to suffer in silence. Why? Because you knew that you’d be shamed for it – told to toughen up. So, you toughened up – you started fighting back amd defending yourself, only to be blamed and accused of being the perpetrator and either suspended, expelled, or fired (if you were an adult in the workplace).

In a nutshell, there just wasn’t much support for targets of bullying behavior in those days. I look back now and wonder just how many teen suicides in those days (and yes, there were many teen suicides back then) resulted from bullying.

Unfortunately, that’s an answer we’ll never know because those kids aren’t alive to tell their stories today. I can only speculate that it was more than likely well over half of all suicides under the age of 21. And I’m confident in that guess.

If you’re a parent or guardian, listen to your child and take steps to support and protect your son or daughter.

If you’re a teacher and a child or teen comes to you and opens up about the bullying they suffer, please do not trivialize their pain or rebuff them. Reach out to them and give them a listening ear. Let this precious human being know that you’re there for them.

If you’re a supervisor or manager, please, listen for the sake of not only the target, but for that of your company. Companies lose millions per year as a result of workplace bullying. Therefore, it’s much more profitable to do the right thing than it is to ignore it or to blame the target.

The more you know…

 

You Aren’t the Only One

Bullies who are seasoned and the best in the bullying business didn’t get so good at bullying you and getting away with it overnight.

No, they learned through trial and error. They’ve figured out what works and what doesn’t. And every time they screwed up and got caught, they never learned their lesson that it’s wrong to mistreat people. They only got sneakier and learned what not to do with their next victim.

Therefore, with each new target, they got a little sneakier, and a little better at covering their behinds until they finally became undetectable to anyone outside the bully/target dynamic. They finally became experts!

Understand that these bullies have left a long trail of ruined lives and either broken or angry people in their wake. Only they’d never tell you about that.

With that said, know that there were many before you and there will be many more after you. You aren’t alone and you’re not the only one they’ve bullied.

I’ve said it once and it bears repeating: If possible, you must find out who their past targets are, then befriend and align yourself with them. I guarantee that you will find out so many juicy tidbits about your bullies and what you discover about them can be used as a powerful weapon!

Always remember that!

A Survivor’s Message

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Many bullied kids (and adults) are committing suicide. This should hit home with many people because the suicide rate among bullied kids and teens is astronomical! It certainly hits home with me because I attempted suicide at age fourteen after having been bullied for several years.

Therefore, I wrote, “From Victim to Victor: A Survivor’s True Story of Her Experiences with School Bullying,” to tell my story and to give encouragement to today’s youth. I survived, and things got much better once I left that toxic learning environment I was bullied in.

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I want the bullied children and teens of today to know these truths:

  1. They can overcome and move on to a better life.
  2. School is only one chapter of their lives, not the entire book.
  3. There are better ways to handle bullying other than taking your own life.
  4. They must love themselves and be themselves regardless of what others think.
  5. They are just as good as anyone else, regardless of what they’re told.
  6. They can do anything they put their minds to if they believe in themselves.
  7. They must educate themselves about bullies, their mindsets, their tactics, and the damage they can do.
  8. They must recognize the beginning symptoms of low self-esteem and find ways to fight it.
  9. They must realize that if bullies take their confidence, then bullies can alter the course of their lives.
  10. They have more power than they know.
  11. Confidence is the key to a better and more rewarding life.

You Aren’t the First and You Won’t Be the Last!

blame victim

Bullies who are seasoned and the best in the bullying business didn’t get so good at bullying you and getting away with it overnight.

No, they learned through trial and error. They’ve figured out what works and what doesn’t. And every time they screwed up and got caught, they never learned their lesson that it’s wrong to mistreat people. They only got sneakier and learned what not to do with their next victim.

dreamstime_xs_86430644

Therefore, with each new victim, they got a little sneakier, and a little better at covering their behinds until they finally became undetectable to anyone outside the bully/target dynamic. They finally became experts!

Understand that these bullies have left a long trail of ruined lives and either broken or angry people in their wake. Only they’d never tell you about that.

dreamstime_xs_85868674

With that said, know that there were many before you and there will be many more after you. You aren’t alone and you’re not the only one they’ve bullied.

I’ve said it once and it bears repeating: If possible, you must find out who their past victims are, then befriend and align yourself with them. I guarantee that you will find out so many juicy tidbits about your bullies and what you discover about them can be used as a powerful weapon!

Always remember that!