5 Reasons School Officials Cover for and Protect Bullies

School boy angel with wings and halo concept for being clever, good, success in education or smug

If you’re bullied in school, you must go through the proper channels by reporting the bullying to teachers and the principal. It’s only legal. But sadly, when a student is bullied and reports the abuse, many schools will protect the bullies instead of holding them accountable for their bad behavior.

Here’s why:

1. Because the bullies have connections to local politicians and crime kingpins. (This is especially true in small towns)

2. Because the bullies often score high academically, which makes the school look good.

3. The bullies are athletes on the school sports teams.

4. The bullies are on the cheerleading squad and in sororities and fraternities.

5. The bullies suck up to faculty to win loyalty.

Understand that, right or wrong, many schools will go out of their way to protect the reputations of who they deem to be their brightest and best students and blame the targeted student for their bullies’ horrid behavior. These bullies make the school look good.

Schools have enormous power, and sadly, many parents of bullied kids are single and raising children on one paycheck. How do they fight against such powerful entities?
This is why Sovereign Immunity for schools must be abolished, and they must be held accountable if the child is maimed, murdered, or commits suicide.

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Moving a target of bullying to a different school sounds like a good idea but is not always feasible. And homeschooling isn’t affordable for some of these moms and dads.
If you’re a parent who’s fighting to keep your child safe and your options are limited, the only way to stay in the fight is to keep speaking out- through word of mouth, social media, the news media- whatever it takes.

In this situation, DOCUMENTATION IS SO IMPORTANT!!!!!

Take steps to raise awareness and be there for your child. Reassure them that if they need to talk, you’re there to listen and give them a shoulder to lean on.

Encourage your child to document every bullying incident and do your own documentation. Use the 5W rule- (What, who, where, when, and why) document what happened, who was involved and the names of any bystanders and witnesses, where it happened (bathroom, locker room, hallway), when it happened (exact date and time), and why it happened (retaliation, etc.).

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As a parent, write about any physical bruises you see when the child comes home from school. Write about any torn clothing, broken eyeglasses or hearing aids, stolen property, crying, your kid’s emotional state- everything! And jot it down in detail!
Document the school’s reaction to any reports of bullying, both yours and your child’s.

Save any emails, replies, and letters from the school.

Build your own case!

Only then will you have the ammo needed to fight it!

It’s Hard to Feel Empathy When You’re A Target of Bullying

Targets of bullying often get accused of being selfish and out for their own interests. However, anytime we are hurting so badly, the pain only blunts our capacity to feel for others.

Anytime a person suffers severe and relentless bullying for so long, their pain overrides any ability to empathize with those around them, who may also be hurting.

It’s like lying in the emergency room with both legs broken after a car accident. The pain is so intense that you could care less about the patient in the next room. All you’re thinking of is how soon a doctor will see you and order a pain reliever.

I tell you this because it happened to me. When I was a target of bullying in school, two girls in my class died in a horrific car crash during the eleventh grade, and as much as I hate admitting it today, I could not have cared less about it back then.

Naturally, I don’t feel the same today. Now, thirty years later, I’m sorry that happened to them, but at the time it happened, I had absolutely no feeling for the girls and even had the attitude that it had served them right and that maybe I’d get lucky and a few more bullies would drop dead soon.

I had been a target of the class for so long I just did not have it in me to care.

After a person endures bullying for so long, he/she becomes cold and unfeeling toward other people if they aren’t careful, and it will only bring about resentment from people who might otherwise offer love and support.

If you are a target of bullying in school or at work, never let it take away your empathy, kindness, and humanity. It won’t be easy, but there are ways to buffer your self-esteem from the effects of bullying and hold on to your sweetness.

Schadenfreude and Sadistic Bullies

None of us want to admit that there are such people out in the world- people who get sick pleasure from another’s suffering. If you’re an empath, you’d like to think that every human being has a modicum of feeling when a another person is hurting. That is completely normal. I too would like to think that everyone on Earth has, at least, some feelings, some empathy, and some compassion- even if it’s a teeny tiny speck of it. However, this is not reality.

In this world, there are a lot of people who get sick pleasure from the suffering of their fellow man- particularly those they despise and don’t see as human. Otherwise, we would never have had unspeakable atrocities like the Holocaust, the Jonestown Massacre, or Waco.

The cold hard truth is that most bullies bully because they enjoy it. They get their kicks from it. In fact, they relish it! Think about it, if they didn’t enjoy it, they would never bully. And let’s face it, nobody does anything of their own free will that they don’t enjoy. Ask yourself this question:

Unless someone held a gun to your head, would you do something- anything at all, that you did not enjoy? You wouldn’t because it goes against human nature.

No one does anything unless there is a payoff of some kind in store for them. Most bullies, not all, but most bullies bully because they love to inflict pain on another person. It gives them a sense of power, control, superiority, and domination. Also, they get a thrill from it. Understand that these four things: power, control, superiority, domination, and sadistic jollies are the payoffs bullies get from hurting people they perceive as weaker- people they know will not (or can’t) fight back.

Through their torment, the bullies send their targets these unspoken messages:

I can do anything I want with you and there is nothing you can do about it.

You are powerless against me.

I am more powerful than you.

I am superior to you.

I dominate you.

I have control over your life.

I am over you.

You are beneath me.

You can’t do anything without my approval.

You are nothing without my approval.

Understand that when bullies bully, they feel almighty! And they enjoy the rush of power they get from it.

Realize that to bullies of a sadistic nature, bullying others is like pulling the legs off an ant or the wings off a ladybug then watching it squirm. In order words, physical bullies will beat the target just to hear them writhe, groan, or scream in pain. And the bullies will kick him again and again just to get him to scream louder and more frequently.

Psychological bullies will taught and verbally abuse their targets just to get a reaction from them.

And they do this because they cannot get satisfaction, happiness, control, superiority or… power any other way, so the only other option for these bullies is to inflict harm on others. It’s the only way they can feel good about themselves.

However, normal people do not have to hurt others to achieve power. Normal people feel powerful through making accomplishments and achievements. They get power from being able to control their own lives, not someone else’s.

They get their sense of power through having success in their jobs, their family life, their talents, their finances, and their physical health.  This is why people start their own businesses or do strenuous workouts every day. It’s also why they display their talents and gifts.

Understand that getting power this way doesn’t require hurting others.

Bullies, on the other hand couldn’t achieve these things without hurting others. That’s what makes them, well, bullies. They can’t survive in this world without inflicting pain. Even worse, the pain of others is what they thrive on and they can never get enough of it.

These bullies secretly or openly take pleasure in hurting others. And the more the target looks like they are suffering, the more the bullies harm them. They’re like sharks that smell blood in the water.

This is hard to fathom for many empaths, but it’s better to find out now so you won’t be paralyzed with shock when it happens to you.  Shock can throw you off-balance and slow your response time. And if you aren’t reeling with shock, the better you’ll be able to take care of it and respond appropriately.

Bystanders

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How responsible are bystanders of bullying when they may not necessarily participate in the bullying but see it happening and choose to turn a blind eye to it? When they could’ve helped stop it but decided not to?

The truth is that they’re just as responsible as the bullies themselves. Anyone who watches evil and does nothing about it is guilty!

“Judge Lake was applying the legal principle of willful blindness. ‘You are responsible if you could have known, and should have known, something that instead you strove not to see.’ In this case, Skilling and Lay could have known and had the opportunity to know just how rotten their company was. Their claim not to know was no excuse under the law. Since they could’ve known, they were responsible.” (Margaret Hefferman – “Willful Blindness: Why We Ignore the Obvious at Our Peril” 2012, pp. 1-2)

In the book cited above, the author referred to the trial which followed the Enron Scandal, in which Chairmen Jeffrey Skilling and Kenneth Lay were both found guilty and sentenced to federal prison.

The same can be said for bullying as well, although bullying and embezzlement are two different things. In bullying, a person may or may not go to prison, but the principle is still the same. If bystanders could’ve or should’ve known, and in a vast majority of bullying incidents, they know but decide not to do the right thing, these bystanders are also guilty.

Willful blindness happens all the time and has down through history.

It was the same in Hitler’s Nazi Germany, Mussolini’s Fascist Italy, the Stalinist Soviet Union, Castro’s Cuba. And yes, even right here in America, our very own media ignores Antifa’s destruction of our cities and terrorizing everyday citizens- mainly citizens who are elderly and can’t protect themselves. Willful blindness has always been alive and well.

 

It even happens at home. A businessman is working late every single night, yet his dutiful wife doesn’t entertain the probability that he might be having an affair. And why would she if she’s invested her entire life in her marriage, family, and home?

When bullies prey on those perceived to have the least power to fight back, those who see it, hear of it, and who can put a stop to it, only close their eyes to it, or worse, join in. And the sad thing is that in most bullying situations, people feel complete apathy, indifference, even hatred toward the target. And where there are apathy and indifference, bullying isn’t hidden but done in plain sight- in full view of many people who only choose to look the other way and not even to question it, much less call it out.

Willful blindness is all around us. It seems that only a few souls want to address the fact that certain extremist and terrorist groups wish to bring Communism to America through The Great Reset and a pandemic that is real but being used to promote the agenda of arrogant, power hungry, and evil elites.

Willful blindness has other names as well- willful ignorance and cognitive dissonance. Put plainly, people don’t want to know and, therefore, act like they don’t. In willful blindness, we only acknowledge what makes us feel good, confirms our beliefs, and soothes our delicate egos. We never take the time to ask questions, investigate, nor do our research because we’re either too lazy or so afraid that what we found out might prove us to be wrong! And that’s especially true with bullying.

When we hate someone, we want to believe the absolute worst of them. When a target is bullied, bullies and bystanders don’t want to think that the person might be an excellent person with a heart of gold. They don’t want to get to know the target first because they’re afraid that they just might end up liking the person (gasp!). It sure makes you wonder how much proof to the contrary bullies and bystanders are willing to ignore.

Many factors contribute to willful blindness- fear of conflict, fear of change, a compulsion to go along with the crowd, money, and material gain. Also, it provides social safety- an example would be keeping your mouth shut to your best friend when you know her husband has a chick on the side. It’s much easier to act like you don’t know about it because you’re afraid of what it might do to your friendship if you told her.

There are many reasons for willful blindness. And no, those reasons aren’t excuses. But watching someone get bullied and pounded to a pulp without helping the person or running to get help is just wrong on so many levels, especially if the person getting bullied is supposed to be a friend.

So, know that if you have trouble with a bully and your friends and others around you see it but don’t lift a finger to help you, it only shows what kind of people they are- and who you should drop from your life. It shows you that it’s time to pick new friends.

With knowledge comes empowerment.

Why You Should Address Bullying in the Earliest Stages

My grandmother once told me this: “Never. And I mean never let anyone get comfortable with abusing and mistreating you.”

She was right. By the time she gave me that little gold nugget of wisdom, it was already too late. I was in high school and had been a target of bullying since moving to *Oakley School District in the sixth grade. But right then, I understood what my very wise grandmother meant and why she gave me that advice.

Here’s what Uma (what I called my maternal grandmother) had already known by being a people-watcher and very good at people-reading:

Once the mistreatment of a person has gone on for so long, the people around them get comfortable with mistreating that person. They grow so accustomed to being cruel to the person that they don’t even think about, nor do they care about how they hurt that person. Even worse, they come to expect the target the take the abuse without question, without talking back, speaking about it, and without defending themselves.

Put another way, if a target firmly stands up to bad treatment in the early stages of being targeted, it’s more likely that others will respect his right to be treated well and either leave him alone or began treating him better.

Whereas, if the target lets the bullying go on for a long time, then begins to stand up for himself after getting fed up with being everyone’s doormat, others will more than likely be only angry and resentful of the person for daring to open his mouth about it. They will then double down in their abuse or eliminate him somehow.

Once a person gets comfortable in mistreating you, it’s much more difficult to fight. Therefore, always speak out the moment the bullying begins. Never let it go on for any length of time. The sooner you do, the easier it will be to assert your rights and avoid retaliation.

Encountering Bullies and Bullying Behavior

When a target encounters bullies and their unacceptable behavior, he/she often feels dehumanized. They also feel canceled- erased- blotted out! To the bullies, the target’s feelings don’t matter because the target isn’t human to them. Understand that once the target is successfully dehumanized, it becomes much easier for bullies and others to brutalize them.

To the bullies, the target doesn’t exist. And trying to defend themselves against the brutality only leaves the target exhausted and run down. He/she also goes through severe mental anguish and intense emotional pain. Fear grips the target like a vice because there’s always a risk of a brutal physical assault.

Understand that bullies don’t want to hear or understand the target. They only want to hurt him/her and control their life- every aspect of it. All bullying behavior, whether subtle (such as a micro flash of contempt), or obvious (such as a fit of rage peppered with horrible names and expletives) only attempts to harm and control.

It doesn’t matter if the behavior is ridiculous and complete nonsense. When bullies have an outburst, they don’t see themselves as being ridiculous and irrational, even if others do. They see themselves as justified and right and the target deserving of persecution and being controlled.

With that said, I want you to see it for what it is- an attempt by the bullies to control, dominate, and harm. It’s an effort to take away the target’s power, autonomy, freedom, and happiness.

The more you know, the more empowered you are!

It Can Be Difficult to Feel Empathy for Others When Bullied.

Indifferent.

Targets of bullying often get accused of being selfish and out for their own interests. However, anytime we are hurting so badly, the pain only blunts our capacity to feel for others.

Anytime a person suffers severe and relentless bullying for so long; their pain overrides any ability to empathize with those around them, who may also be hurting.

It’s like lying in the emergency room with both legs broken after a car accident. The pain is so intense that you could care less about the patient in the next room. All you’re thinking of is how soon a doctor will see you and order a pain reliever.

I tell you this because it happened to me. When I was a target of bullying in school, two girls in my class died in a horrific car crash during the eleventh grade and as much as I hate admitting it today, I could not have cared less.

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Naturally, I don’t feel the same today. Now, thirty years later, I’m sorry that happened to them, but at the time it happened, I had absolutely no feeling for the girls and even had the attitude that it had served them right and that maybe I’d get lucky and a few more bullies would drop dead soon.

I had been a target of the class for so long I just did not have it in me to care.

After a person endures bullying for so long, he/she becomes cold and unfeeling toward other people if they aren’t careful, and it will only bring about resentment from people who might otherwise offer love and support.

If you are a target of bullying in school or at work, never let it take away your empathy, your kindness, and your humanity. It won’t be easy, but there are ways to buffer your self-esteem from the effects of bullying and hold on to your sweetness.

What is Chronic Bullying?

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Bullying becomes Chronic when the bullying has gone on over time and has escalated such that it has now reached a dangerous level. In short, bullying has reached epic proportions.

When there’s Chronic Bullying, bullies have skyrocketed the torment and pursue their targets obsessively and non-stop. In a case of Chronic Bullying, the bullies’ behavior has gone ignored and unaddressed by authority, and the bullies have become so brazen and encouraged that their actions have grown in strength, frequency, and cruelty over several years.

The bullies’ apathy toward the victim grows to a point where they lose all empathy and come to feel nothing but blind hatred and fury toward the target. The attitude has now become that anything they do to the victim, no matter how cruel or how dangerous is good because, to the bullies, the victim has no value, and his life is worth nothing.

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People who bully to these extremes usually have followers and minions backing them up. And they enlist members of their following to do their dirty work. It is when the bullying becomes so significant, so ingrained, and so severe that it seemingly takes on a life of its own.

The bullies are seemingly drunk on hate, and the bullying and torment of you seem to be all the bullies can focus on.

Instead of the bullies controlling their evil emotions and actions, their feelings and actions begin to control them! The bullies are controlled by hatred and blinded by senseless rage. They have become so addicted to the power and control over another human being that the bullying becomes constant for the bullies to get their fix and maintain the high that the power over the target gives them.

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Understand that when bullying becomes chronic, bullies don’t see the target as a human being, they see him as so worthless and inferior that, in their minds, the target doesn’t deserve the time of day, much less any respect. As far as the bullies are concerned, the target doesn’t even deserve to breathe the same air as them! Even worse- the target doesn’t deserve to breathe, period!

This is why chronic bullying can be especially dangerous to the target because the victim runs the chance of either breaking and committing suicide or being murdered by their bullies.

This is why it’s so important to get out anytime bullying becomes chronic. Get out of that environment- transfer to another school, go to work for another company or move to another area.

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Because once bullying becomes chronic, it becomes so out of control that it takes on a life all it’s own. There’s no stopping it at this stage.

The only way you’ll ever find peace is to leave without telling anyone. Only then will you be safe and have peace of mind.