Should Your Bullies’ Opinions Matter?

Indifferent.

As we all know, bullies talk a lot of crap and put on a fake persona. They’re loud and obnoxious, which translates to thirsty for attention and admiration.

“Hey! Look at me! Look at me!”

Their lives are so pathetic that the only way they can feel good about themselves is to make others feel bad. It only translates to the bullies’ being insecure and afraid that someone else is either going to outshine them somehow or make them look inferior. Should what they think of you ever matter?

What if I told you that your bullies’ negative thoughts of you only reflected those they secretly have of themselves?

Would you believe me if I said that their hatred of you is only a reflection of their own pathetic self-loathing and that they’re only trying to put it off on you?

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Understand that bullies put on quite a show to look significant and relevant, and they must work damn hard at keeping up their images. When you stop and think about it, it’s just as pathetic as when someone stuffs their bra or puts a sock in their crotch. Anyone who must expend such an enormous amount of effort to keep the less-than-perfect parts of them hidden can’t be a person who likes themselves much and it’s sad.

Why should you value the opinion of some buffoon who’s a big-time one-upper and desperate to be seen and adored? Realize that this person’s opinion has no merit whatsoever, and their hurtful words carry little weight if any at all.

If you know what to look for, you’ll see these people for what they are, and you won’t take them so seriously. And when you do, it will serve as a buffer to any psycho/emotional harm they may cause you, and your self-esteem will skyrocket!

Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out

 

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1. Being a bully is WORK! They work hard to keep up appearances and to maintain their fake facades. Bullies, especially popular ones, have an image to keep up, and they monitor themselves nonstop, twenty-four-seven. They must keep up with and remember all the lies they tell to keep their stories straight. And they often spend beyond their means to look like they have lots of money. Is it any wonder that many bullies get charged with crimes like embezzlement, fraud, and theft. They have to steal to keep up!

2. Bullies are not happy people. They can’t be. Why do you think they bully others? They do it to feel better about themselves, to distract from their shortcomings and insecurities, and project them onto someone else. Bullies also bully to make themselves look superior, better, smarter, and more powerful. They may bully for attention because they aren’t getting it at home. It takes a miserable person to be a bully.

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3. They’re weak. Bullies bully because they’re feeble-minded people. They’re loud, obnoxious, and pushy because they don’t have the brains to get what they want any other way.

4. Bullies are insecure. When a bully sees someone who outshines them somehow, they fear that the person will take the attention and admiration away from them. Bullies share attention and recognition with no one. They must be adored at all times by everyone. They feel they have to be at the center of everything and that the world should revolve around them.

narcissist bully ego

5. Bullies are jealous of their victims. Bullies can’t handle anyone else’s success. If you have more wins then them, are better looking then them or are more talented than them, they’ll make it their mission to make you suffer for it.

6. Bullies are trying to be cool. Again, they strain themselves to keep up appearances. And bullies know that most people are under the mistaken impression that cruelty is “cool” as long as they aren’t on the receiving end of it. Many bullies bully to look cute to any witnesses.

7. They seek attention. If a bully doesn’t get attention, they feel inadequate. So they bully in front of an audience to get the attention they feel they never get.

8. They’re cowards. They’re afraid of looking weak and being bullied themselves.

9. They’re fakes, frauds, and imposters. They must don masks to hide their true selves. Understand that they do this out of the fear of their true personalities being exposed.

10. They’re compensating. Bullies bully to compensate for weakness. If they can look strong by making someone else look weak they make up for the weaknesses they feel they have. Bullies will also run with rich people or the popular crowd because it helps them to forget about the fact that they’re nothing and, in a way, makes up for anything they feel they don’t have.

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Male bullies who feel they aren’t man enough will often drive around in hot cars and flaunt money to make up for the fact that girls find them disgusting. Female bullies will often use fashion, makeup, and the latest hairstyles to compensate for the fact that few people like them. Or they may have a bunch of friends and use that to make up for the fact that they can’t get a date.

 

Never Explain Yourself to a Bully

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Why? Because bullies don’t care what your reasons are. The only reason they blame you for something and try to bait you into explaining yourself is the psychological payoff they get from it. The psychological payoffs, being satisfaction, gratification and a massive rush of power.

While you’re standing there wasting your breath, trying to convince the bully that you aren’t guilty of whatever it is that they’re accusing you or attacking you for, the bullies are mentally smirking and patting themselves (and each other) on the backs over how easily they’ve got you to react, how easily they can scare you and make you nervous, and get you all up in arms. Some things don’t need an explanation.

Here are more reasons why you shouldn’t explain yourself to a bully:

1. No matter what you say, how calm you are when you say it, how convincing you may sound, or how much evidence you may have to support you, bullies will never believe you anyway.

2. Understand that bullies only believe whatever feels right, whatever is useful to them, and whatever is convenient for them.

3. They aren’t interested in evidence or facts. Any facts may only deter them for the time being, but believe me when I tell you. Your bullies will only get angrier at you for having the gall to prove them wrong. Then, they’ll regroup, reorganize, then come back at you with a whole new accusation and demand yet another explanation later.

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Understand that anytime bullies accuse you of wrongdoing that you neither committed nor know anything about, deep inside, they already know you’re innocent.

They are fully aware that you had nothing to do with the transgression. Realize that it’s only a trap to get you to react and give them that rush of power that you’ve been giving them all along and that they crave and can’t seem to get enough of.

Even when you produce evidence to prove your point, you must work to gather that evidence.

Just the knowing they have you jumping through hoops to prove yourself is enough to give them the thrills they’re looking for.

So, instead of letting them bait you into a defense, you should be asking yourself,

1. “Who are these morons?

2. “Who are they that I should have to explain anything?”

3. “Since when do I have to explain anything to these jackholes? They don’t pay my bills!”

bye goodbye get out

Understand that you don’t owe these people a damn thing!

I understand that bullies can be intimidating and threatening. It’s hard to resist an explanation when you’re scared to death and not to began rattling off an excuse in nervousness, in the hope that a reasonable explanation will make the harassment go away. But trust me, it won’t!

It certainly didn’t make things better for me. If anything, it only got worse because my reaction only made me look like an easy target.

But once I realized what they were doing, I began to get bored with them and walk away because their games no longer affected me. The same will be for you too, and you’ll feel much better. And the icing on the cake will be that you’ll take the wind out of the bullies’ sails and they’ll finally leave you alone.

 

A Letter to My Bullies (Part 3): I’m No Longer Afraid of You

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Also, the fact that no one cared about the truth nor even asked is only further proof that you all bullied and mobbed me out of pure spite, ignorance, and stupidity. And the same three afflictions is why a few teachers, who followed your lead, also bullied me to the point of considering a lawsuit. A few even escalated the vitriol because they saw me as a threat.

Those few so-called teachers were afraid that I would file citing discrimination based on a perceived disability. Why? Because they found out about the daily journals, I kept each school day, documenting everything! And I’ll never forget their reactions (and those of some of you) each time they saw me writing.

It’s hilarious when I look back now because some of you seemed pretty desperate and afraid!

And the few spineless, undeserving losers I was such a fool to call friends? (Scoff)

Frenemy Venn Digram Friend Becomes Enemy

The word Frenemy defined by a venn diagram of intersecting circles between Friend and Enemy

They didn’t have the stones to have my back, which means it’s safe to say that I didn’t have any friends at OHS. So, should it matter to any of you if I speak up or stay silent? I can be honest about it now because the whooping majority of you aren’t anyone I need to impress, and I surely don’t owe any of you anything- not even respect because you did nothing to earn it. I’ll say again. You get no respect from me.

As for the few rotten apples who called themselves teachers, I realize they only fell for your lies and smear campaigns. These teachers, who were supposed to be adults, but only regressed into children by joining you in your evil, and spiteful attacks weren’t smart at all, only educated idiots. Or it could’ve been that they were lazy, but I’ll put my money on the first option.

Far be it from me to put their names out there, because I won’t go that low. But I already suspect you know to which teachers I’m referring. So, I’ll leave it there.

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With you, the excuse was always, “I’m afraid of her!” or “She’s crazy!” But the reality was that I was much more afraid of all of you and you ever were of me. But deep down, most of you were already aware of it.

Oh yeah. I already know, and you know it too. I knew it back then; only I was too afraid to voice it because I knew what most of you would do if I opened my mouth. Oh, yes. You got that one for free. I was afraid of you all back then.

But the difference between then and now is that I’m not anymore. Now that I’m a grown woman, I’m not afraid of any of you.

I don’t have to see any of you. You can’t touch me now. So I can say pretty much anything I want. And I say it loud and proud. Even better, I make speaking out about people like you, my livelihood, my bread and butter, and my niche!

Therefore, in bullying me, you were only paving my path for me. In trying to instill fear, you only encouraged me. In trying to keep me down, you only uplifted me! And in turning others against me back then, you ultimately made me more friends now than I ever could have imagined back then.

Now, you must ask yourselves what good all that meanness did in the long run, and where did it get you? It certainly didn’t help you reach the top! It didn’t get you fame or fortune because none of you ever went anywhere.

(Continued in Part 4…)

Stages of School Bullying

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Bullying is a process.

1. Bullies search for a target.

2. A target is selected.

3. Bullies signal to bystanders that the target is ripe for bullying.

4. Bystanders are encouraged to join in the torment and unite with the bullies against the selected target.

5. Bystanders then become bullies themselves.

6. The target is involved in many physical fights in trying to defend themselves and gets labeled by teachers and staff as the troublemaker.

7. Bullies and bystanders go home and tell their parents and family members what a terrible person the target is.

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8. The parents and family members of the bullies and bystanders go to work or the supermarket and relay the stories about the target to coworkers and friends- stories they were told by their children, grandchildren, younger siblings or cousins, nieces or nephews that this target is a terrible person.

9. The coworkers, friends and extended family members then pass what they’re told to their families and word of the target’s perceived evilness or craziness spreads throughout the entire community.

10. The target’s reputation is destroyed.

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11. The target’s opportunities for love, friendship, jobs, careers, etc. are either limited or lost.

12. The target either commits suicide or leaves town to pursue a better life.

13. The target who relocates finally gets a fresh start and reinvents himself.