Bullies Can’t Insult You Unless You Value Their Opinions

A crazy young man in a white shirt standing and screaming at the woman in a pink dress. Women don’t care and looking at the camera with a toothy smile—indoor studio shot, isolated on light brown background.

“In order to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Nice try, though!”
~ T-Ronn Hicks ~

It’s a shame I didn’t realize this nugget of truth when I was young, but it’s true! When we value someone’s opinion of us, we’re naturally going to be hurt, angry, upset, insulted; if their opinions of you aren’t favorable.

The people who we consider important and can help to grow and shape us into better human beings- those who lift us up, help us to feel better about ourselves, and encourage us to reach our goals (our families, friends, best teachers, mentors, and supervisors) are those whose opinions we should value.

On the other hand, if we don’t consider certain people important, we will not value their opinions. Also, some people do not deserve to have their opinions valued by us, and those people are those who hurt or abuse us.

Bullies are such people.

I want you to understand that if a person hurts you physically, emotionally, psychologically, or socially, any opinions that person has of you hold no value and should be considered null and void!

That person should be of no importance to you whatsoever because they can bring absolutely no good to you or your life!

You should only value the opinions of those who love and care about you and are down for your good and your advancement! Not of those who continually tear you down, wreck your self-esteem, and belittle you. They should have zero significance to you.

It doesn’t matter if they are in a high position, the most popular person, have the most money, etc. If they consistently tear you down, they’re no good to you, and you should just blow them and their opinions off and keep going.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t assert yourself if someone violates your boundaries because you should! However, don’t let it cause you to feel bad about yourself or love yourself any less. Blow off the petty put-downs of bullies because, more than likely, the insults they spew have no merit in the first place!

I know it’s not easy. Believe me. I’ve been there. It took too many years for me to finally realize this important rule of life, but I’m glad I finally did. Better late than never.

But I want you to know that you can do it. How you give these leaches to your confidence, the boot is to avoid them as much as possible and only keep company with the people who have your best at heart. You will know who these people are. Your gut will tell you. So, listen to that gut instinct and pay attention to the vibes others around you put out!

I guarantee you that you will thank yourself later!

The Value of Having Enemies

“You can tell a man’s vises by his friends, his virtues by his enemies.” – Ben Domenech.

There is value in having enemies. If I meet a person who has not one enemy, I’d be suspicious of that person and wonder if he/she were lying, mistaken, or a people pleaser. But if they do have enemies and (even better) are proud of that, it means they stood for something at some point in life.

Understand that everyone has enemies. They may not admit it or may not know it, but they do have an enemy out there somewhere.

Too many people feel that they must win a popularity contest, and they go out of their way to do it. They suck up, try to be someone they aren’t just to run with the pack, seek attention, and bully those they see as defective. What’s even sadder is that they reach a point where they don’t know who they are anymore.

They unknowingly make themselves slaves to other people’s opinions and, therefore, slaves to others. This is a waste of time and too much work. Even worse, it chips away at your self-esteem. You end up letting yourself down to please others, and that’s not good.

Silhouettes of hands are breaking the chain—freedom concept.

The only way you can be free is to be true to yourself and let others have their opinions of you, good or bad. Realize that opinions are just that- opinions, and they’re like elbows. Everybody has them. Opinions are just as cheap as talk.

So, if you have enemies, be proud of it. It means that you’ve taken a stand and that you’re not afraid to be different. If you have enemies and are okay with having them, then you have the freedom, and you can do anything you want. Always remember that.

The Value of Having Enemies

“You can tell a man’s vises by his friends, his virtues by his enemies.” – Ben Domenech.

There is value in having enemies. If I meet a person who has not one enemy, I’d be suspicious of that person and wonder if he/she were lying, mistaken, or a people pleaser. But if they do have enemies and (even better) are proud of that, it means they stood for something at some point in life.

Understand that everyone has enemies. They may not admit it or may not know it, but they do have an enemy out there somewhere.

Too many people feel that they must win a popularity contest, and they go out of their way to do it. They suck up, try to be someone they aren’t just to run with the pack, seek attention, and bully those they see as defective. What’s even sadder is that they reach a point where they don’t know who they are anymore.

They unknowingly make themselves slaves to other people’s opinions and, therefore, slaves to others. This is a waste of time and too much work. Even worse, it chips away at your self-esteem. You end up letting yourself down to please others, and that’s not good.

The only way you can be free is to be true to yourself and let others have their opinions of you, good or bad. Realize that opinions are just that- opinions, and they’re like elbows. Everybody has them. Opinions are just as cheap as talk.

So, if you have enemies, be proud of it. It means that you’ve taken a stand and that you’re not afraid to be different. If you have enemies and are okay with having them, then you have the freedom, and you can do anything you want. Always remember that.

Different Quotes About Bullies, Creeps, Jerks, and Haters

“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.”  – Coretta Scott King, widow of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“Don’t hate what you can’t imitate!”  – Unknown.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt, former first lady and diplomat.

“Haters are my motivators.” – Nicki Minaj, American rapper and singer-songwriter.

“Hatred makes us all ugly.” – Laurell K. Hamilton, American writer.

“Haters never win. I just think that’s true about life because negative energy always costs in the end.” – Tom Hiddleston, English actor.

“There’s a certain logic to avoiding haters, but as a strategy, it’s utterly flawed. When you turn off the feedback, you lose the benefits as well as the drawbacks. It’s like having a sore finger and cutting off your arm.” – Rob Manuel, American digital artist.

“The haters always scream the loudest.” – Tucker Max, American Author.

“Something about winning attracts losers with opinions.” – Unknown.

“Haters are cowards. When confronted, they often back down. We must resist haters.” – Janet Reno, former U.S. Attorney General.

“I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.” – Booker T. Washington, American author and civil rights leader.

“Make your supporters proud and your haters jealous.” – Unknown.

“It is only out of ignorance that people are cruel because they don’t think it will come back.” – Maya Angelou, American writer.

“An open enemy is better than a false friend.” – Greek proverb.

Always give your best. Never get discouraged. Never be petty. Others may hate you. But those who hate you don’t win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.” – Richard M. Nixon, 37th U.S. President.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss

A Sneaky Way to Conquer Your Bullies

“The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”

So says the age-old proverb, and it has certainly rung true for many a century. If you are the target of any bully, rest assured that you haven’t been the first nor the only poor soul who has fallen victim to him/her.

Therefore, it’s safe to say that your bullies have enemies, lots of them. Only you don’t know it because bullies naturally put up the facade that they are the greatest things since sliced bread and that everyone adores them. But every bit of it is a lie.

Although what I’m about to advise may seem a little underhanded, it isn’t, and it will certainly help you in getting the bullies off your back. Social science has long proved that comradeship is born when two or more people can find something (or someone) they dislike…a common enemy that they all share a passionate distaste for.

Find out who your bullies’ enemies are, connect with them, and befriend them; making sure to have their backs and vice versa, then you and your bullies’ enemies can unite as allies. I guarantee that the enemies, whoever they are, will be more than happy to oblige as you instantly become comrades in the fight against the bullies!

Group of happy friends cheering with wine and beers at a boat party. Diverse men and women having drinks at a sunset yacht party.

There’s strength in numbers. Always. And rarely do lone wolves survive in the social world. Thank evolution for that one. The more of your bullies’ enemies you can make friends and allies, the more protection and support you will garner to keep the bullies at bay.

Remember that bullies are cowards, and they almost always pursue the lone wolf. So, if you can become friends with as many of your bullies’ enemies as possible, the bullying will stop. Why? Because bullies never attack anyone who is surrounded by others.

Also, you will have the kinds of friends who will protect and look out for you. Then your bullies will go find another victim and leave you alone. How I wish I thought of this back when I was in school! Things definitely would have been a lot different!

You are worth fighting for! Don’t give up! There are always options, and this is only one!

Winning Over Your Enemies

friends

It’s something you can do. I’ve seen other people do it, and I’ve done it. However, a couple of things need to happen before you can win over an enemy: first, the enemy must be open to you winning them over. In other words, the person has to want it and not resist it. Then, you must show genuine interest in them and their lives, and it has to be real and not fake.

Understand that enemies are naturally resistant to us. Why? Because, to an enemy, you’re the bad guy. It doesn’t matter that you’re a great person with a giving heart. You may be the most fun and cheerful person in the world, even liked by many. None of that will make a difference to your enemies.

To an enemy, you’re suspect even when you’re on your best behavior and whether it’s real. An enemy doesn’t care how kind and down to earth you are. They could care less about your charm and charisma. Any kindness, genuineness, smarts, and talents- any positive qualities you may possess are all null and void to your enemy.

All that matters to an enemy is that you are who you are, and they resent you for it. Nothing more.

But would you even want to win over such a person? I wouldn’t. With an enemy such as this, it’s better to leave them where they are and keep it moving because there’ll be some enemies you can’t win over no matter what. Others, you can but be cautious.

Whether you win over an enemy depends on the person with whom you’re dealing.

Years ago, I did win over an enemy from school- a staunch enemy. We became close friends and remained close until the day she passed away. It was a blessing because she became a blessing to my life, and I became a blessing to hers. And I did it by showing genuine interest in her after she brought her defenses down and showed me the same. It was one of God’s beautiful miracles, I believe.

We discovered things about each other that we never even suspected. This lady had been a target of bullying herself. She, too, had been judged and persecuted by others, and harshly so. And other than the petty rumors I’d heard about her, I hadn’t known it was as bad as it was. She’d had to fight her way through school, and like me, she was only trying to survive.

I want you to realize that this doesn’t work with everyone, especially an enemy who’s narcissistic. If you show genuine interest in a narcissist, you’ll only be feeding them their much-needed narcissistic supply, and they’ll only steamroll you with it. A narcissist only sees another’s genuine interest or love as bowing down and kissing their arse.

Narcissists only get a thrill out of it and take it as a green light to use you for what they get out of you- even if the benefits are nothing more than an ego boost. To a narcissist, you’re not a separate human being with feelings, thoughts, perspectives, and goals of your own. No. You’re an object who’s only here for their convenience.

True friends are hard to find and don’t come along every day. You must pick and choose wisely.

It’s the same with enemies you chose to win over. Yes, turning an enemy into a friend is fantastic and can be rewarding. But it’s wise to be selective of those you chose to win over because not everyone deserves a place in your life.

Let Bullies be Your Rocket Fuel to Unimaginable Heights

success motivation

Instead of letting them bring you down, use your bullies as motivation to succeed. Let them be your drive to accomplish anything you see set to do. Walk with your head held high, even amid taunts and attacks from bullies. Believe in yourself even when it seems no one else does. Be your own advocate, and be your own best friend.

Love and respect yourself. Do the things you enjoy the most. Stand up for your beliefs and convictions. Take care of yourself and stay true to your own heart.

Put yourself first. Be a little selfish and permit yourself to say no, whether or not anyone approves of it. Be your authentic self, be assertive and outspoken. Keep company only with people who love you most, who uplift you and who understand that you’re human and make mistakes.

Take charge of your own happiness and never depend on anyone else for it. Be proud of your successes, accomplishments, and accolades.

Do all these, and you will truly be bully-free!