The torment of a particular classmate or coworker can become a status quo or a habit if it’s not properly taken care of in the early stages.
Bullying of a certain individual is like cancer that grows and spreads. A bully scans the environment, seeking whom he can torment. When the bully spots a possible victim, they test the waters by way of small snarky comments, backhanded compliments, or anything which may cause the victim to feel uncomfortable.
The bully does this to see how the other person will react. If the individual on the receiving does nothing to assert their right not to be mistreated, the bully sees this as a green light for future bullying. Therefore, this individual has now become a target!
Word soon gets around the entire school or workplace that this target is ripe for bullying, and others will join in. As time goes by, the torment becomes more of a regular, everyday occurrence. More and more people will bully the target, and the taunts and physical attacks become more and more brutal. The attacks then become harder to combat; thus, it becomes more difficult for the victim to either get help or protection.
The target’s victimization has now become the status quo with the student body or employees and the school or workplace. Others refuse to help the target either due to rumors and lies to discredit her or the widespread belief that, “Well, no one likes her anyway, so there has to be some justification to it.”.
The power dynamic has now been firmly put in place, and the status quo is maintained.
Finally, the victim feels trapped and is in constant misery and fear for their own safety.
Cancel culture is bad not only because it can destroy a person’s life, but it negatively effects everyone else as well- by robbing them of their rights to decide and choose for themselves. Let’s take book burning and banning for example.
When people burn or ban books and their authors, not only are they destroying the lives of the authors, but they’re also robbing others who may want to order them their right to read them and choose for themselves whether they like them.
If I find a book in a bookstore and I like the title, cover, and the synopsis on the back jacket, then I want to read it. You may not like the book, it’s author, title, or cover, but it doesn’t mean that someone else won’t.
Understand that cancel culture only infringes on our rights to choose what we want to read, watch, buy, or consume. Who is anyone else to try and choose for us? Who do they think they are?
If you are a part of the cancel culture crowd, then yes! I’m talking directly to you. I ask again. Who do you think you are? Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot read, watch, consume, or purchase?
Not only am I speaking for myself, but also for every single person that values their right to decide and to choose.
If you don’t like something, fine. You have a right not to like it and you have a right not to have anything to do with it. What you don’t have a right to do is take away others’ choice to see it, judge for themselves, and like it.
Cancel culture violates the personal boundaries of everyone! It seeks to tell you what it thinks you should do. It tells you what to read, watch, eat, use, and who to associate with. In short, cancel culture strips us all of our God-given rights to self-determination.
But isn’t that what all bullies do, strip their targets (and everyone else) of their right to choose? Their right to have an opinion? Their right to speak and to have dignity? Their rights to self-determination?
Of course. With that said, anyone who participates in cancelling a person or entity is a bully! Period. Full stop. And I can’t stomach a bully!
The alternative to cancel culture is using common sense. In other words, if you don’t like someone, don’t associate with the person but don’t take away my right to decide that I want to associate with them. If you see an item for sale in a store and you don’t like it, then don’t buy it but don’t take away my right to choose and buy it.
If you don’t like the brand or, more appropriately, if the brand “offends” you, don’t buy it.
If you don’t like or are offended by the show, don’t watch it.
If you don’t like the person or are offended by them, stay away from them and have nothing more to do with them.
If you don’t like the business or are offended by it, don’t patronize it.
If you don’t like the book, don’t read it.
Do you see how this works? It’s that simple.
It’s high time that more people learn to adopt this way of living. It’s high time that more people rise up and push back against this senseless, moronic scourge called cancel culture. It’s also high time we push back against anyone who participates in it and condones it and the sooner we begin doing these things, the sooner our freedoms of choice and self-determination will be restored.
Bullying has always been around and, unfortunately, always will be. It happens on ALL levels, ranging from the individual level to the government and political level. The best thing we can do is to take steps to bully-proof ourselves at the individual level to either cease to be victims or never become a victim.
It has dawned on me that the same mental processes and tactics that happen in bullying and mobbing in schools and workplaces against a target are the same processes that give dictators and autocratic leaders the ability to control countries.
From Saddam Hussein to Karl Marx and Benito Mussolini and Adolf Hitler; from Xi Zinping and Kim Jong Un, to Josef Stalin; dictators have been a terrible reality for many countries. Understand that dictators are bullies! They influence an entire population first by making empty promises of equality for all, play on our emotions by showing crime, suffering children, poverty, etc.
Once they get into office, they influence by fear and rule with an iron fist.
Understand that your worst bullies in school or at work are busting with charisma. They’re experts at charming and influencing the rest of the student body or workforce. They have a talent of fooling and appealing to others. They’re experts at persuading everyone to turn against their victims. This is how DICTATORS are made.
You can bet that every dictator the world has ever known got their start as a school or workplace bully!
Once a dictator is voted in and the people give them power, they disarm the citizenry, enact a set pay scale for everyone, a set healthcare system, take over the food supply and strip the people of their freedoms and human rights.
Dictators are bullies. Why? Because they rely on fear,dependency, and an imbalance of power from which to draw their power and there’s a clear imbalance of power between the dictator and the citizenry.
Just as bullies have followers, dictators have regimes, parties, and secret police. Also, these dictators have targets- certain groups of people they single out and oppress. Hitler’s targets were the Jewish people and anyone who disagreed with him. Stalin’s targets were ethnic Ukrainians, Polish, and Bulgarians.
Their followers are terrorist groups, such as Hitler’s Nazi party of Germany, Mussolini’s Fascist party of Italy. Then, we have Stalin, Lenin, Marx, and the Bolsheviks of Russia, who lead the Bolshevik Revolution and brought Communism to Russia, which is how the country became the Soviet Union, or U.S.S.R. (Union of Soviet Socialist Republics).
Today, we have Antifa, The Red Guard, and other nefarious groups, who continue to burn and loot cities and physically attack anyone who they don’t like in order to bring Socialism/Communism to America.
Understand that all of it is a form of bullying because it instills fear and creates an imbalance of power in average citizens and is used for intimidation, dominance, and control of them against their will.
Dictators and terrorist groups have had targeted groups to oppress, torture, and kill and have thrived on fear to turn entire populations against their targeted groups. They do this through use of propaganda and usually complete their end goals of genocide. Down through history, Communism has caused tens of millions of deaths.
Bullies have influenced student bodies and workforces to turn against a target to assassinate their characters and kill their reputations. And the scary thing is that it’s such a slow process that it almost isn’t noticeable until it’s already gone so far.
The tactics used against targets are the same used against the Jews in Nazi Germany during the thirties- demonization. Understand that demonizing is how it starts.
Though the outcome was much worse, with the Jewish people ending up maimed, physically tortured, and murdered, bullying requires the same tactics that slowly build to the final culmination of a social murder of their targets.
Bullying and mobbing are still psychological torture, and it does kill, only on the opposite end of the violence spectrum. But the social contagion and pack-mentality that make each collective attack possible are pretty much the same. Again, it’s gradual and incremental. It happens so slowly that targets don’t realize they’re being conditioned to accept brutality and bystanders and witnesses don’t realize they’re being conditioned to hate and brutalize the target.
Target on your back metaphor as a person with a tattoo of a bulls eye symbol tattooed on the skin as an icon for being a victim of bullying and bullied or psychology of feeling vulnerable with 3D illustration elements.
Here’s how bullies target individual persons for bullying.
A particular person is singled out and labeled as different from everyone else.
Others spread the word of the targeted individual’s difference.
Before long, everyone defines the target’s “difference” from the rest to suggest that the target person is inferior.
Next, everyone is directed by a person in power to target the person for elimination.
The person in power sends the message that if anyone associates with, befriends, or helps the target, that person will be targeted next. But if they join in the brutalization and humiliation of the target, they will be rewarded with acceptance and a climb up the social hierarchy.
People increasingly leave the targeted person out of the social group and block them from access to knowledge and any deserved awards or credits.
The target is isolated, called ugly names, and demonized, which makes it much more acceptable for others to harm them.
The target is accused of the same things the bullies are themselves guilty of and a reversal of victim and offender is achieved.
Soon, everyone agrees that the targeted person deserves abuse and inhumane treatment.
Finally, the rest of the group eliminates the targeted person through character assassination and annihilation of his/her once-good reputation, whether it be isolation, expulsion, termination, banishment, or even murder.
Later, everyone either denies they bullied the targeted person or they justify and rationalize it- giving reasons that sound justifiable for their part in the brutal treatment of the person to avoid feeling and looking guilty.
Here’s how dictators and terrorist groups target groups and populations of people. And it’s all the same!
They single the targeted group out and put the word out to label them as different from other groups of people.
The media and other tools of the oppressive government spread the word of the targeted group’s difference and perceived sins and evil.
The labeled group is deemed evil and inferior, then marginalized by society.
The message is conveyed to the rest of the people that it’s acceptable to oppress, even harm members of the targeted group.
People outside the targeted group are encouraged to dehumanize them and deny them knowledge, a voice, and fundamental human rights- with those in power making it unlawful for members of the targeted group to defend themselves against being hurt.
People in the oppressed group are deemed threats to the rest of society, insulted and degraded, cancelled, and denied representation,
Dictators and oppressors accuse the targeted group of the same things they themselves are guilty of so that the oppressors can achieve the reversal of victim and offender and cover their own crimes against humanity.
People outside the targeted group are only further encouraged to dehumanize members of the oppressed targeted group.
Dictators and those in power also promote the message that if anyone associates with and dares to stand up for the targeted group, they too will be targeted along with them. But if they join the fight against the targeted group, they may be rewarded with influential positions!
Soon, groupthink takes over, and everyone agrees, although wrongly and unjustifiably, that the targeted group deserves horrific treatment and needs to be destroyed no matter what it takes to destroy them!
The oppression and brutality toward the targeted group finally progresses to a sadistic and deadly climax, where those in power have the targeted group murdered by committing genocide and the rest of society looks on with satisfaction.
Later, they either deny their crimes against humanity, or they rationalize and justify them to keep from feeling dirty. (An example of this denial would be people, down through the years and even today who deny the Jewish Holocaust ever happened.)
Again. Understand that over time, the brutality ever so gradually increases in tiny increments. It progresses so slowly that it isn’t noticeable until it reaches a certain pitch. There are names for this slow, unnoticeable (or barely noticeable to the trained eye) progression- gradualism and incrementalism.
So, you see? The tactics and processes are exactly the same, whether on an individual, school, and company level or government and political level, all of it is BULLYING and MOBBING but only under different names!
These tactics are universal and have been used down through history. If you are target of bullying, the ability to think ahead and predict your bullies’ next move is essential if you expect to be able to protect yourself.
My grandmother once told me this: “Never. And I mean never let anyone get comfortable with abusing and mistreating you.”
She was right. By the time she gave me that little gold nugget of wisdom, it was already too late. I was in high school and had been a target of bullying since moving to *Oakley School District in the sixth grade. But right then, I understood what my very wise grandmother meant and why she gave me that advice.
Here’s what Uma (what I called my maternal grandmother) had already known by being a people-watcher and very good at people-reading:
Once the mistreatment of a person has gone on for so long, the people around them get comfortable with mistreating that person. They grow so accustomed to being cruel to the person that they don’t even think about, nor do they care about how they hurt that person. Even worse, they come to expect the target the take the abuse without question, without talking back, speaking about it, and without defending themselves.
Put another way, if a target firmly stands up to bad treatment in the early stages of being targeted, it’s more likely that others will respect his right to be treated well and either leave him alone or began treating him better.
Whereas, if the target lets the bullying go on for a long time, then begins to stand up for himself after getting fed up with being everyone’s doormat, others will more than likely be only angry and resentful of the person for daring to open his mouth about it. They will then double down in their abuse or eliminate him somehow.
Once a person gets comfortable in mistreating you, it’s much more difficult to fight. Therefore, always speak out the moment the bullying begins. Never let it go on for any length of time. The sooner you do, the easier it will be to assert your rights and avoid retaliation.
Conformity can be good because we conform to sensible laws and rules in order to ensure a safe and well-run society. Conformity holds us together. However, toxic conformity isn’t good and can be dangerous.
Toxic conformity brings unawareness, silence to wrongdoings and injustices, and promotes abuse of power and totalitarian authoritarianism.
In toxic conformity, you’re demanded to agree with everything the bullies say and do. Right or wrong, you’re demanded to keep your mouth shut if you disagree and not to give off any nonverbal language of opposition. In other words, you’d better just go along if you expect to get along.
Because, if you don’t, you’re subject to ostracism, rejection, smear campaigns, even physical violence. And in extreme cases, mobs are sent to your door and you may endure physical torture and murder.
Total conformity, absolute loyalty, or- toxic conformity is required in schools and workplaces with a culture of bullying and in totalitarian authoritarian communities and societies. In these types of environments, there’s no margin for error.
You can’t deviate even the slightest bit without being punished in some way, shape, or form- even if the deviation was an honest mistake. In other words, you’re not allowed to be human. For instance, in schools and workplaces where toxic conformity is practiced, creativity isn’t allowed. In communities and societies of this nature, free thought and expression are prohibited.
Understand that bullies are threatened by someone who doesn’t conform to their rules and standards. And they will make that person pay dearly for daring to be different and having the audacity not to stay in lockstep with their morals (or lack thereof), rules, and standards.
As I mentioned, if you dare to be different- to show creativity and talents, to have your own thoughts, opinions, and ideas, you risk being ignored, disdained, or made an object of severe brutality.
If you’re a target of bullying, it’s imperative that you find a way out of that environment because it’s detrimental to your health and peace of mind. I realize that it won’t be easy. Nothing worthwhile is easy.
Change, especially positive change, is never easy.
However, if persecuted people have uprooted and left their home countries for the US in order to attain freedom and to have a better life, how much easier would it be to leave a toxic school or workplace? Find an environment where you’re free to be yourself, express different ideas, create, grow, and flourish. Only then will you truly be free!