Bullies are notorious for abusing their targets, then turning around and discounting their normal, understandable, and justifiable sadness, fear, anger, and depression that result as a direct cause.
But understand the subtext of your bullies’ actions and discounting of your pain-
“Your feelings mean nothing.”
“Your pain and suffering aren’t real and don’t matter.”
“You’re not allowed to be sad, angry, scared, or depressed when we abuse you.”
When bullies discount your pain and suffering, they may make statements such as:
“You’re too sensitive.”
“You’re such a crybaby.”
“Can’t you take a joke?”
“You’re jumping to conclusions.”
“You’re blowing everything out of proportion.”
“You’re always on the defensive.”
“You’re taking stuff too seriously.”
“It’s only in your imagination.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You’re always trying to start something.”
“You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.”
…and the list goes on
The target may wonder why it is that he’s always in the wrong when he doesn’t mean to be. Understand that this is victim-blaming. And the bullies must blame you to keep from having to take responsibility for their behavior.
If nothing else, remember this:
You always know when something doesn’t feel good. So never doubt what you feel. Never second guess what you feel in your gut. Always listen to that jab in the pit of your stomach because your body never lies.
Then respond accordingly.