That False Sense of Insecurity When You’re a Target

Bullies will often bully a specific victim for so long that the victim eventually expects maltreatment from all people. Although I no longer get bullied and have long since regained my confidence and self-esteem, I do remember that feeling all too well.

After being bullied for so long, you become fearful. Around people, you clam up, keep your eyes to yourself and go about your business. However, it seldom works because bullies are like pit bulldogs; they can smell fear from a mile away, so being reserved and staying out of the way tends to bring about more bullying.

You can always tell when a person is a victim of bullying because they continuously apologize for everything. Overapologizing is the surefire sign of bullying and abuse, as is being reserved and afraid to look people in the eye.

Understand that the person who does that is scared to death. They’ve lost all sense of their worth and are afraid to make decisions because they might make the wrong one and be ridiculed, shamed, or harmed for it.

Many targets are also afraid to talk to people because they’re afraid of saying something stupid or offensive and again getting persecuted for it. They’re fearful of going out or being seen in public because they might run into the wrong people (bullies).

They’re scared to greet people because they fear that they’ll be seen as too friendly. So, they’re often mistaken for being stuck up or standoffish.

If you are a victim of bullying and you do any of the above, STOP!

Living your life in fear is no way to live! It sucks! It’s a downright miserable existence, and I refuse to keep my head down and clam up to avoid the pettiness of other people!

I want you to realize that you don’t need permission to be yourself or to exist! The day you say, “Screw it! Who cares what those idiots think!” will be the day you get your life back. Things may indeed get worse before they get better. But it’ll be worth it in the long run. I guarantee it.

12 thoughts on “That False Sense of Insecurity When You’re a Target

  1. Thank you for this wonderful & encouraging post Cherie! I will be printing off for my teen to read and feel encouraged to shine bright and that she can make it through. 🙏

    • I’m so proud of you for putting yourself first and going somewhere safer! Years ago, I had to move to a new school and I’m so glad I did! I have nothing but fond memories of the new school!

      • Thank you. I didn’t have to move far, just get out of that town. Some of my teachers in my new town knew some of the ones in my old one and they painted a bleak picture of me. They didn’t realize that maybe if I hadn’t been bullied so badly, my grades would have been better. My grades drastically improved after I moved. So much so, that one of my teachers said he was going to tell the teachers in my old town how well I was doing. As a result, I heard a rumour that one of the teachers in that old town stated that I learned the ‘wrong’ lesson. They said that I learned that I could solve my problems by running away. I know these days that it was a load of crap.

        • Wow! I got that same response from my old classmates, that I was “running away from my problems.” But the truth is that they were furious at me for leaving. They no longer had a target and now, they’d have to search for another target. Sadly, they found another target eventually, a girl named Pam and they treated her worse than they treated me.

          • Poor Pam. I think most of them celebrated when I left. However, I have this weird belief that if someone did move into the town shortly after my departure, I can think of a few people who would have said to the person, “You better watch it, we just made one kid move out of here.” Thinking about it, I believe that the town actually took pride in ‘driving me out.’

          • Maybe. I don’t doubt some of my classmates were thrilled. But from what I was told by the few friends I had, most of my classmates were pretty pissed because they had no one to wield power over for a while.

  2. Pingback: That False Sense of Insecurity When You’re a Target – Tonya LaLonde

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