Pandering: A Mistake Many Targets Make

I’ve seen so many bullied targets- even people who aren’t victims pander- or, in laymen terms, suck up. No doubt about it, bullies can be intimidating, even downright threatening. Anytime someone feels threatened, their first instinct is to do anything they have to do to quell the danger. That, I completely understand.

But is it always a good idea to pander to your bullies? Hmm. Let’s find out.

Vector illustration of a grovel in business

First let’s ask these two questions.

1. Would pandering really change things? No. Why? Because when we pander, we only give away more of our personal power. And that’s exactly what bullies want. Also, bullies see pandering as bowing down and kissing their feet. And they only get a huge power rush and ego boost from it and, as we all know, bullies can’t get enough of those.

2. Would it change your bullies’ minds about harming you? It might for the moment. You may indeed pacify them, but the appeasement will only too quickly wear off. Trust me on this one, your bullies will come back for more later. That is a given.

3. You’ll end up feeling like a complete wuss later. You’ll only ruminate, asking yourself over and over again, “Why the hell did I just kowtow to this creep?” or “Why do I continuously let these people take a deuce all over me every chance they get?” Trust me, your self-esteem will take a huge dent and you’ll end up kicking yourself for it later.

Pandering is for pansies. I can tell you that if you start thinking for yourself and standing up to anyone who violates your boundaries, it’s true that they may bully you harder for it. You may have to fight harder and for longer to assert yourself.

And yes. The harassment may get worse before it gets better. But, in the end, you’ll feel better about yourself knowing you didn’t bend over for those morons. You’ll feel more confident and be proud of yourself, knowing that you stood firm and that you eventually overcome. And there is no better feeling. I guarantee it!

6 thoughts on “Pandering: A Mistake Many Targets Make

  1. Pingback: Pandering: A Mistake Many Targets Make – Jeanne Foguth's Blog

  2. Pingback: Pandering: A Mistake Many Targets Make – Tonya LaLonde

  3. Totally agree with standing up for oneself. But, I’d add that timing is everything. In these times picking the time and place for battle will be especially crucial. I’ll also add that quite often the bully will fall on his own sword.

  4. AS a result of standing up to them, my bully-buoys were forced to resort to using the police and the magistrates court to enable their abuse. So far it is working for them. The only thing left intact is my sense of self worth because I have not responded.

    • I’m so sorry they’re trying so hard to bring you down. I know how tough it is to deal with bullies who are persistent. But I’m proud of you for hanging onto your self-worth. Stay strong and know that you have my support.

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