As I’ve said before, many targets of bullying become people-pleasers because they’ve been brainwashed into believing that if they dare to say no, they’ll only get hurt and many times, saying no has gotten them just that- hurt! Therefore, they’re deathly afraid to assert themselves.
Targets of bullying quickly become used to having to cater to others in order to ensure their safety. Sadly, I was in that same situation for a few years when I was young. It’s a hell of a way to live and it’s akin to being held hostage. You feel as if you exist only for other people’s purposes, agendas, pleasures, and entertainment; not your own.
As we all know, bullies are people who don’t take no for an answer and this type of attitude comes from their sense of entitlement and superiority. Bullies are notorious for retaliating against anyone who refuses their demands. However, it’s important that you continue to stand firm no matter what it costs.
It’s better to be hated by others than to hate yourself because you caved into someone else’s unreasonable demands. Realize that no one can make your time and your needs a priority but you!
So, why is being a people-pleaser so bad for you? Here are your answers:
1.Constantly putting other’s needs before your own leaves you feeling stressed, exhausted, miserable, and controlled!
2. You’re never free to pursue your own interests because people are constantly haranguing you for favors.
3. You have no time for yourself.
4. Your productivity goes down because your time is limited by other people’s priorities.
5. Your relationships suffer because people lose respect for you.
6. It erodes your confidence and self-esteem.
Realize that most people have their own self-interests in mind. I want you to understand that you are the only person responsible for seeing to it that your needs get met. No one else can do that for you.
Charity always begins at home. You can’t run yourself ragged trying to take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first.
Always remember that.
With knowledge comes empowerment!