The More Bullies Tighten Their Fists, The More Like Water You Become

Like I did, you will only run through their fingers and out of their hands. My classmates couldn’t hold me. I flowed over and around them. Understand that sometimes, in their efforts to tighten their grip, bullies only create defiant and sneaky targets who find their way around them.

Because some targets refuse to be controlled. I was one of them.

When your bullies try to silence you and prevent you from speaking against the abuse, you can find another way to communicate. I chose to write about it instead, being sure to keep a backup journal at home in case my primary journal came up missing. You can also do this, or you can speak out through music and song, artwork, such as drawings and paintings. There are so many vehicles through which you can speak out.

I took advantage of the fact that my bullies were flawed humans just like I was- and that they couldn’t read my mind nor control my thoughts.

When your bullies trash your reputation at school, make friends outside that toxic environment– out of kids who don’t attend your school. It’s what I did. I also dated guys who were of college-age and were past high school.

If you’re old enough to have a driver’s license or work after school,  opportunities for an after school job in your community may be nil, but your attempts to get one in the next town will more than likely be successful and you can make many friends there.

And here’s the miracle that happened twenty years lately when I endured horrible rashes of cyberbullying (keep in mind that some of the attackers online were former schoolmates), I handled it with smarts and class, which only brought me many allies who defended me– people from all over the country! And I’m still friends with those people today.

Yes, sometimes, things may look hopeless, but they can turn out for the best.

I want you to realize that if you think hard, there’s always a way around the stigma if you’re bullied. So, do what you must do for self-preservation. Dig those heels in, double down, and become like water that only runs through your bullies’ hands.

Don’t give up! There’s always hope!

17 thoughts on “The More Bullies Tighten Their Fists, The More Like Water You Become

  1. Pingback: The More Bullies Tighten Their Fists, The More Like Water You Become – Tonya LaLonde

  2. 3-4 years ago, I was dealing with a manipulative–type bully in our neighborhood and trying to politely keep her in place. I’ll never forget the day she came over – I was preparing something (chopping) when she began harping… without thinking, I turned around, butcher knife still in hand (no threat was intended on my part) her total attention focused on that knife and she blanched… quickly made an excuse and left… never returned!!! SO, despite the fact that I was trying to be tolerant, she ran like a rabbit… this is partly why I believe bullies are cowards and merely trying to appear fearless.

  3. Thank you for this. I will try to write out my pain. There is so much of it. Endless piles of it. Being bullied as a child and then scapegoated etc. by my former employer as an adult. Nothing like reliving the “nifhtmare” tears and years all over again.And people don’t care one speck or fiddly diddly do about others any more which really hurts on top of the hurt. It does seem and feel hopeless from our human point of view. That is why my hope is in Christ. Because this world is a passing dream or nightmare!

  4. Quite right Cherie! You have prodded my weird mind so I must ask: When you dated college guys, did you get stick off guys from your school who would ask, “Aren’t high school boys good enough for you?” This is despite the fact that none of these boys would have ever asked you out.

    • Yes! I got that from many of the guys at school. It was as if they would’ve rather I stay lonely and bullied instead. They often accused me of being a gold-digger and dating those college-aged guys for money because they were adults and had jobs too. Another thing I was accused of is dating these guys because they had “experience” and was called the worst kind of “whore” regardless of whether or not I was actually sleeping with him.

      I look back now and realize that their anger was all about power. They were angry at me because they felt that, by dating these college-aged guys- by being able to date period, that I was usurping their perceived power over me- that by dating outside the school- I was defying them somehow and denial their wish to have power over my life.

      I think back now

      • That was totally their problem. In my Senior year, while living in New Jersey, I had a girlfriend from Pennsylvania. (We met at a summer camp we both worked at the previous summer.) Anyway, one girl did ask: Aren’t girls around here good enough for you? I responded that there was nothing wrong with girls around here and then I asked her if she would have gone to the prom if I had asked her. That kind of shut her up. When I first came back to the US, I was prepared for more of the same from local American women because I married a British one. Fortunately, that never happened.

        • Yep! The girl that asked you that was angry because you usurped the power of the student body over you. They hate it when you find a way around them after they try to block you from enjoying relationships and friendships.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.