I Never Wish I’d Been More Popular, I Wish I’d Loved and Respected Myself

I wish I had put myself first.

I wish I’d said “NO” a lot more than I did.

I wish I had been true to my own heart.

And I wish I had known my worth and realized my full potential.

In a nutshell, I wish I had been better at being me. But we all wish we’d done these things when we get older, don’t we? That we’d done something a little different- a bit better?

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown a very thick skin and learned to handle any confrontation with composure and aplomb. As we get older, we shed that shell we curled up and hid in when we were younger. We grow to love and accept ourselves as we are and become comfortable in our own skins and let me tell you! It’s immense freedom that you can’t describe!

I’ve learned that the reason people bully is not because of something the victim has said or done and that it is not the fault of the victim.

The reason bullies bully is because they have issues, whether it be a bad case of narcissism, low self-esteem, problems at home, jealousy of something the victims have that they don’t, or they have something to prove. I’ve learned that bullies, at their very core, are great big cowards and attention-seekers. That knowledge alone is freeing!

Just knowing why unsavory people do harm only serves as a huge buffer to any psycho/emotional blows.

Today, I no longer get bullied by anyone, but if anyone tries, I am easily able to swiftly put the person in their place, or laugh and blow the idiot off. Instead of getting hurt or angry, I get amused by them and am usually able to have fun with it.

Unfortunately, that takes time, learning, and most of all experience. I feel a sense of regret when I think of all the years I spent feeling insecure and sorry for myself. What a total waste of my time and energy!

You mustn’t take anything your bullies say as the truth. You must know that their actions or words have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them! Hey! I know it’s hard not to, and I know it hurts. I know it’s hard not to blame yourself when it seems that everyone, from every direction, is bombarding you with negativity.

However, I want you to love yourself and see the bullies for who they truly are- pathetic souls who are so desperately trying to look tough, smart, or cool. I want you to understand that bullies are trying their hardest to get attention. You must know your value. You also need to realize that some people are just wrong for you and do not belong in your life!

Most of all, rest assured that you will eventually find people who are right for you. And when you do, they will love you for being your loveable, beautiful, intelligent, and awesome self! There will come a day when you will be loved, appreciated, and celebrated for all that you are!

It happened to me, and if you don’t give up, it will happen to you too! You are worth fighting for! You are worth living for!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

61 thoughts on “I Never Wish I’d Been More Popular, I Wish I’d Loved and Respected Myself

  1. Hi. I always love your blogs because I can mostly relate them to what I have gone through in the initial stages of my life.

  2. You said it girlfriend! 💯 We don’t need others to validate us in order for us to love ourselves (and not in a narcissistic way either). What a great reminder to anyone who feels they are a victim to a bully’s selfish and self-centered antics (whether family or friend)! Thanks Cherie! 😉💖😘

  3. Popularity growing up is an interesting thing. I think most of us desire it but it is a double edged sword. Even the non-bullies, the good popular ones will tell you later on it was hard keeping an image. And a lot of the bulliesput down others because they aren’t at the top of the food chain or so paranoid to lose status, they want some underneath them. Tell you what I liked the people who were popular being themselves, the ones who were nice to everyone and never cared about cliques or anything yet others admired them because they were liked for being themselves.

    • You’re absolutely right! It takes work and being always on guard to keep up appearances. It’s a hard way to live. And the ones that are popular because they’re kind to everyone- sadly, they are so few.

  4. Workplace bullying a little bit more difficult Cherie, dependant on the bullies level of seniority and hierarchical management systems are even more difficult.
    Self awareness of course important but sometimes there is a need to bring in advisors or trade unions.

    • I completely understand, Margaret. And you’re right. Workplace bullying is more difficult because Workplace bullies are far more sophisticated in their attacks than school kids are. In a case of Workplace bullying (especially if it escalates to Mobbing) the best recourse is usually to leave the toxic work environment and move on to a safer one because bullies are relentless. I realize that this isn’t always feasible, however, your mental health and sanity are of the utmost importance.

  5. I am so happy to read that you have evolved; it may have taken years but isn’t it a happy feeling. True, bullies have their own insecurities and perhaps they are scared of the confidence that the bullied one enjoys.

    • Thank you so much! <3 And yes! It's a great feeling despite the years it took. I'm blessed because, sadly, many people never get back their confidence and I am saddened for them. How many people go to the grave never realizing their worth and their potential? And you're right. Confidence in targets intimidates bullies. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment!

      • All we can do is make others aware around us and tell them that nobody can take away their confidence. In fact the bullies too need the sympathy and understanding that their actions can be detrimental.

      • It is true. Some of us never realise that it is in our power to defend our confidence and crumble under the pressure. It is article like yours that can light hope and help the ones who utterly need it. At the same point of time even the bullies need to be helped; they need to understand how their actions can negatively impact others.

        • You’re absolutely right! 💯 I feel sadness fir the people who never realize their own strength and the good they bring to this world. And yes, bullies need professional help just like the target’s. 😢

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