Why You Should Never Ask a Bully, “Why?”

Many targets who are bullied will ask their bullies why.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“Why me?”

“What did I ever do to you?”

Realize that these questions are pointless because, by asking these types of questions, the target is only reinforcing their role as victim and that’s not good. Also, a bully will never answer those questions and it’s because they can’t answer them. Even if they could answer them, they’d either never tell you, or they wouldn’t tell you the correct answer.

Remember that part of the bully’s power is to keep you guessing and asking these questions- to keep you confused and in the dark. And believe me, their silence on it speaks just as loudly as their words.

Again, bullies love to keep you guessing and trying to wrack your brain. That alone is power in and of itself. If bullies can keep you wondering, they can continue the behavior and they can do it without you catching on to the reality that they are really the ones with the problem and not you.

It’s best to look up articles and books on bullying to get the answers to your questions. I promise that you’ll get much better answers from these sources than you ever will from your bullies.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

44 thoughts on “Why You Should Never Ask a Bully, “Why?”

  1. I confronted my bully when I was younger. I didn’t ask her why she did the things that she did to me but I did try to get some form of closure. She was incapable of providing that to me in fact she wouldn’t even admit that she had done the things that she did. It was at that moment that I realized that even though many years had passed… she was still the exact same person she was when she was with me in high school. THAT was what gave me the closure I needed to move on. The fact that it was engrained within her while I had moved past it. 💪🏻 another good one my talented friend!

  2. This is an important post! If that person is bullying you, asking them why is going to be used against you because they think they have you at that point. It makes them feel superior and may actually increase bullying. Though your intentions are often well-meaning they view it as weakness. It is hard if you are a non-aggressive person and there are times not saying anything or walking away is a good idea but you have to stand up for yourself and yes sometimes even put up your dukes. Fighting for yourself is far more effective than trying to reason with the unreasonable.

  3. I can understand now from this post.
    It has happened and still happening.
    I must be alert.
    Your post is helping me in recognising the devil mind. A single devil is trying to dent me always.
    Regards 🙏😊

  4. Girl, don’t ask those jokers a doggone thing. They know why and deep down you do too. Just think about it. I often wondered why people did the things they did to me when they clearly had more materialistic things, better finances, fine homes and impressive job titles. However, God revealed to me that it was “good character” that they lacked. They couldn’t buy good character if it was on sale for FREE!!! 🤣😆😂 I had my why and I didn’t need to ask the question! Booyah!!! 🤜🏼🤛🏼

  5. In your post you state bever ask a bully why and you use a word toxic to describe a bully.

    I wrote a post about Putin be toxic and stated millions of people are wondering why he decided to invade Ukraine titled: Is Putin Smart, Savvy, and Toxic Conundrum?

    You seem to be very knowledgeable on bullies. I wonder if you should write a post on Putin being a bully to perhaps help people understand or gain knowledge how to deal with whatever his real reason is for invading Ukraine.

    Regards and goodwill blogging.

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